Bipolar and stories of spiritual emergence

So I've been avoiding making a video all day, and I'm not quite sure why. I'm not sure if my few days of feeling good are subsiding today, and I'm transitioning into the week or so worth of kind of blindness. And I'll call hardy nutritionals on Monday and see what they think about the way it's going. I ended up just watching a YouTube video of the top 200 songs, in terms of views on YouTube. And I stared at that for probably two hours. And so yeah, I've just been kind of staring at the screen, which is something I don't usually do. But I definitely allow myself to whenever that's what seems to be good for my brain. And speaking of looking at the screen, but in a more productive way. Today, I watched Katie motorhomes documentary called emerging proud. It was released today. And I think she had an event in the UK. And there were events held in certain places around the world, and the documentary was premiered. And so happy emerging proud day. I'm not sure if it's an annual thing. And I thought it was very good, I thought it was very well done. And the way she did it was from clips that people either sent in about their stories of spiritual emergence. I don't use that term, very often I use my own term as map consciousness, to indicate so called mania and psychosis, but also meaning action potential or a lot of different things. And also that it's sort of like unmapped territory, it's something that we're exploring in consciousness. But anyways, spiritual emergence is another term or spiritual emergency. And I could try to use that more often. Because it's not good to keep saying so called mania and psychosis. I don't know why I say that. I think it's to delineate between the good and the not as good parts of the process. And in the video, they talked about dark night of the soul or shadow, as opposed to so called psychosis. And maybe, when I continue to go through this process of coming off meds, if I have to go through some of the elements that are not yet finished, perhaps I can work on reframing those and not thinking of them in terms of psychosis, which I already don't, it's just right now, I think, handy to actually make videos talking about some of the common language, because if I only use uncommon terms, then people might not know what the heck I'm talking about. And by weaving them both in together, hopefully, eventually, through conversation and knowing what we're talking about, we can create our own language, that we don't have to use any of those terms at all. And those terms weren't used at all, barely in the whole documentary, which was nice. And I thought that the selection of clips was very good. And it gave a lot of different examples of the depth and breadth of the experience, the possibilities, and I noticed some of the language that I use with myself in there. One person near the end was talking about how this has something to do with the evolution of humanity. And I've talked about that. And there were a few other things that people mentioned that were really clear to me that we speak a lot of the same language inside and how we would talk about it, if we started talking about it more might just be kind of self evident. One person might say something and then the other person might be like, Oh, yeah, I know what you're talking about. That's a good way to describe it. Let's talk about it in that way, or it's not about what anway, actually, it's talking about it in in lots of different ways, and not just talking about it, but what language the process wants to create and how that process wants us to relate. So I thought it was very well done. And I actually made it into the film in the credits. Let's see if you can pick me out. And some of my story is going to be in the book that goes with the film. And I haven't seen that yet. So it's on Vimeo, I think that's how you pronounce it. And it's called emerging proud. And it's definitely worth a watch. And I think there's quite a bit going on in that movement. A