Breaking Free From Perfectionism & Pressure

EXCITING NEWS: I've got a brand new free 3 part audio series for highly sensitive ambitious women over 40 who want to learn to Flip Your Anxiety "OFF" Switch"! SIGN UP FOR FREE HERE: https://www.megan-nolan.com/offswitch Are you tired of constantly feeling the pressure to be perfect?  Whether it’s from the world, the weight of obligations, or the pressure to keep up the momentum in your work, perfectionism can feel like an endless cycle of stress and anxiety. If you’ve ever felt trapped by these expectations—like you’re always pushing yourself harder just to stay afloat—this week's podcast episode is for YOU!  In today’s episode, I’m getting real about breaking free from the pressure of perfectionism and how it’s impacting your mental and emotional well-being. You’re not alone in this. I’ve been there too, navigating the demands of growing a movement and trying to follow every instruction—sometimes out of obligation, not inspiration. But here’s the truth: when we try to do everything “perfectly,” we disconnect from our true selves and only fuel the anxiety that’s been holding us back. What you'll learn: ✨ The real cost of trying to do it all “perfectly” and why it’s keeping you stuck in a state of anxiety. ✨ How to break free from the weight of perfectionism without losing momentum in your life or business. ✨ Simple, actionable tools to help you stop feeling overwhelmed and start feeling more aligned, present, and connected to yourself.   Want to learn to mute the mental noise and regain control of your mind in just 6 minutes a day? Join us for the brand new free 3 part audio series to Flip Your Anxiety "OFF" Switch": https://www.megan-nolan.com/offswitch  Please find the show notes below. Since it is a transcription there may be spelling errors and/or weird grammar. Ignore that and enjoy! Breaking free from perfectionism and pressure. An ongoing practice for me and maybe for you too, which is why that is the focus of today's episode of the Movement, Mind and Meaning Podcast, Mind and Body Tools to help you to thrive beyond anxiety and depression. I'm your host, Megan Nolan, and I'm really excited to. Get into this very relevant, very personal, very 00:00:33,1000 --> 00:00:36,640timely conversation that I hope that is really supportive for you. I hope you feel seen. I hope you feel encouraged. I hope you learn something. I hope you get inspired. And we're gonna jump into this in a moment, but I wanted to let you know. That I have a brand new totally free audio series that is just been released, actually just a couple days ago upon release of this episode called the Anxiety Off Switch. Do you want to learn how to flip your anxiety off switch so that you can mute the mental noise and gain control over your mind in just six minutes every day so that you can become a nervous system ninja?You can become your own best advisor because you can tap into your inner wisdom and follow that truth and be able to go from being a worn out woman, the frantic and frazzled and vibe. To being grounded and powerful and in your leadership energy as your serene queen self. Well, the Flip Your Anxiety off switch mini audio series, 3 mini training sessions that are audio based so you can listen to them anywhere, anytime. Totally free, brand new. I'm really excited to share it with you. So they're bite sized, only 15 minutes each. Perfect way for you to learn how. To mute the mental noise and regain control over your mind. So make sure to join us for that, right?It's available now. And when you sign up for free before April 10th, you actually get a bonus call inside the pop-up community. So it's an incredible community of other super ambitious, highly sensitive, incredible beings up to big and beautiful things. I mean, who knows who you'll meet in there, but when you sign up for free before the 10th, you actually get a bonus call inside this pop-up community, so make sure to grab that. And if you are hearing this in the future, whenever you are there, there's going to be other things. So grab that as well. OK, so let's talk about it. Let's have some real talk here about internalized pressure and the habit of being highly attentive to detail, a perfectionist. And I want to start by saying, you know, before I pressed record on this, I was like, yeah. I kind of like sometimes have regret about making this both an audio and a video because I'm not gonna lie, I just had. I just had a I had a power pause. That was a full cry. It was a full like, oh man, I don't know, I was having a lot of thoughts about what's next. I was feeling a lot of pressure. We just finished up. The anxiety and stress reset in the power pause movement just a couple weeks ago and there was a lot of, you know, anticipation and build up for that. And I'm excited to be offering this anxiety off switch. And so I feel for me, I feel as though I put a lot of pressure on myself and maybe you can relate to this. My accountability buddy and I were having a chat. I would love to know some of your DM. Are you an oldest child? Both she and I are oldest children, I feel, and many oldest children that I've meet are very responsible, very driven. I feel like we were almost groomed to be leaders. But in my family we were also conditioned to be very high achieving and performance driven, to receive love and to feel worthy in my case. And so a lot of that in the past was a real driving force for me internally. And so this is interesting, right?Like let's talk about how being very driven, being very ambitious, being very sensitive, being very goal focused, high achiever if you will, high performer oftentimes, there's a double-edged sword to that, right?If we're doing that from a place of dysregulation and. A push energy of what's next. Let's go. Got to keep the momentum going and feeling like you're the one. Oh, I can feel that. And you're the one that's driving the bus. That starts to feel like all of a sudden you're not driving the bus forward, but instead you're pulling the bus backwards up Everest with no Sherpa, no team. You're pulling it backwards up the hill, right? It starts to feel really difficult if we are. In that energetic, contracted state, and it's important for us to remember that perfectionism is actually a protective pattern, an adaptive mechanism developed by the subconscious mind in a response to stress. Right. So when we have these external pressures, whether it's in the work scenario or in the relationships or family scenario, we have this event or thing or part of our life that is activating the stress response. If one of your protective patterns and adaptive mechanisms is to be a perfectionist, to be very overly attentive to making everything exactly perfect and exactly as it should be. That can be something that really begins to consume a lot of your energy, right?And so it's an interesting thing because is that authentic for you? In a sense, this protective pattern, because it's hardwired from when you were a child and you were modeled this behavior. This is something that you 00:06:22,1000 --> 00:06:25,200learned a long time ago and you've been practicing it for quite some time. Perhaps enough to feel like it's part of who you are, right?And this, this trait isn't who you are. You're not a perfectionist. You have perfectionist tendencies, right?Maybe or maybe not. And I also want to, you know, I want to say that I also appreciate having high standards, right?Especially when it's your own business or you're very concerned for the quality of your work, which you should be regardless of if it was your own business or not. We want things to be up to a certain caliber. Right. And so I'm not saying, you know, you just like haphazardly slap things out on the wherever. But what I'm saying is, is that when we hold ourselves to these extremely high standards, it's very difficult for us to achieve them and it only gives fuel to that stress, worried fire that's inside of us that's driving the bus in the 1st place, so. Is that pattern really who you are? No. It's something that you've practiced and it's hardwired in, but it allows you to kind of default back to that and it causes us to get tripped up by that. And so trying to do things quote UN 00:07:35,1000 --> 00:07:37,440quote perfectly because it's activating even more of a stress response in our body, we're very much in our head. Right. And we're not in that place of connected self. We're not in that place of embodiment. We're not in in that place of flow and true self and the wisdom within you, right. We're out of touch with with the wisdom within us. We're out of touch with the vibe of the vision that's 00:07:59,1000 --> 00:08:01,840pulling you forward. That is the trilogy of transformation. But we are being really led by this old pattern. Right. And so that 00:08:09,1000 --> 00:08:12,080old pattern might be part of the younger you inside of you. And because it's a protective pattern and it's and it's a a part of you, we want to acknowledge it and we want to hold space for that. But we want to recognize that we don't necessarily need to have it run the show anymore. But I also want to add to the conversation is that this level of. Externalized stress, right, of what's happening in the world currently right now, it's March something 2025. You might be listening to this in April, something 2025 or maybe beyond. But right now, especially here in the US and 00:08:46,1000 --> 00:08:49,1000globally, life is very different, right?And there's a lot of things happening politically, systemically that are for those of us that are sensitive and empathetic. And potentially neurodivergent that are very sensitive and that have a high standard and a a deep intuitive sense of what feels good to us and what is what we want to see happen in the world and what is just and what is right and what is fair and democratic. We're seeing a lot that's contrary to that right now and that's a lot of external pressure and so and that's a lot of potentially. Stressful input, right?And so it's really important to honor that, knowing that if you are a highly sensitive being, which many people in this community relate to, it's really important to even more 00:09:47,1000 --> 00:09:50,640so slow down, reflect on what feels good for you, acknowledge that there are a lot of stressors and a lot of pressure right now, and acknowledge that. If you're like me, a lot of that pressure can originate from inside of us, especially 00:10:09,1000 --> 00:10:12,840if you feel very called to do the work you do. And that's where I was noticing some of that pressure is because I'm so excited that the power pause movement is growing. And it's making an impact in people's lives all around the world to learn how to cultivate calm on command and stay focused and stay grounded and stay centered amidst the chaos of life. And it's growing. And I feel really excited by that. And it's calling me forth into a new version of myself and really sitting into this anchored knowing and embodiment of being a leader of a global movement. And so there's a lot that comes up with that, right?There's a lot that comes up when you are a big visionary, when you are a leader, when you're a dreamer, when you're living a purpose-driven life like I would imagine you are. There can be a lot that goes along with that, right?And so of course, when we are stretching ourselves, when you are stepping into this next. Level of identity within yourself. When you are allowing yourself to recalibrate to this expanded impact that you are here to make, that your soul is calling you forth into, your ego mind will notice that you're getting close to the edge of the boundary of the comfort zone and it starts to do all sorts of things. Alert. They are getting close to the barrier. What do we do?Remind them of all the times they screwed up before. Why don't we get them worried about everything?Why don't we put them on social media and so that they are like freaking out about the world and, you know, stressed out and totally going to freeze in shutdown mode? Why don't we try that?Is that effective? Maybe. Or what about that perfectionism thing?We got to make it perfect before we put it out again in the world. Yeah, that works every time. OK, here we go. What about overworking themselves till they're exhausted?You know, so here's the thing. Or what about we remind them of that time when everyone laughed at them in grade four?You know, 00:12:17,1000 --> 00:12:20,840it's so it's your brain doing what it's supposed to do. And so it's really one of those things that. You have these incredible qualities as a perfectionist, if you can relate to that, you're highly attentive to detail, right? That's really what it means. So when these protective patterns, we look at them when they're getting tripped up and tripped on or activated or you know what I'm saying, we get to witness them. Oh, isn't that 00:12:47,1000 --> 00:12:50,480interesting?This is, this is happening right here, right now. Wow. OK, here we are again. But now you have a new level of awareness. You are operating from a new level of consciousness, right?And if we get into that place where we're getting looped back into that pattern of perfectionism or feeling like we have to have it perfect and we need to have it done yesterday. And you're the good girl, good boy, good person, and you you like to do it right and follow the instructions and and make sure that it's done perfectly so you can, you know, get the love, get the accolades, get the Gold Star. Do you relate to that? We internalize a lot of that pressure as children and we carry that forth. But that's why life is an opportunity for us to begin to witness those things, begin to honor those parts of ourselves that are getting activated as we stretch and we go for bigger goals, right?And so remember that these. Patterns of self-sabotage, right?And that's really what perfectionism and and internalized pressure or not wanting to delegate control or procrastination or overdoing it, pushing yourself too hard, overdoing, overworking, overthinking, overgiving. All of these patterns of self-sabotage are actually self-protective mechanisms. Patterns of self-sabotage are 00:14:11,1000 --> 00:14:14,480self-protective mechanisms because what your brain is great at doing is attempting to problem solve in the moment. It doesn't really know how to predict the future. It predicts the future based on patterns of the past. And so it's really important that we recognize and we intentionally pause. Is this working right?How does this feel? Does this feel like something that I want to continue?And so if you notice yourself defaulting back to these patterns, especially when you're in a process of expansion and I don't love this terminology, but you probably know it up leveling yourself and and growing, right? Growing is more accurate because you know, if we're not growing, we're doing the other thing. And so the opportunity is, can we begin to recognize these patterns within yourself as such, as a gift or an opportunity?It's either exactly what you need. Or you either get the result that you're looking for or the lesson that you needed, as one of my coaches, James Wedmore, says. So that's it, right?That's it. It's a either we get directly what we wanted or not, and it becomes an opportunity to learn and grow and witness and reflect and look at it from a higher level of mind. A higher level of perception when we're not caught up in the old pattern, when we're not treading that path down the forest, right?Instead, you're choosing to go a different way. You're choosing to learn to pause. And for those of us that experience high functioning anxiety. Which tends to be a fight response when the stress response get activated. So it's that go do it now push should have been done yesterday. Whereas with generalized anxiety it tends to be a flight like get me the hell out of here. And with depression it tends to be more of a freeze or a shutdown. We want to give ourselves the opportunity to activate and regulate the nervous system to begin to shift up that ladder. Right up that ladder. We also want to begin to expand our window of tolerance in that when we recognize our self in this pattern of defaulting back to perfectionism or putting a lot of pressure on our self, we get to pause and we get to breathe into it and we get to see and we get to realize that it's really an opportunity. It's stretching you, it's showing you what's there when you use that skill and that gift. From that place of regulation, from that place of heart, from that place of wisdom, from that place of truth, of who you really are, it's so much more effective, it's so much more powerful. And it allows us to expand that a little bit and tolerate it a little bit better without defaulting into one of those patterned reactive stress responses that I just mentioned. So how can we move ourselves?Up the ladder, back to that place when we are in that stay and play energy, when we have that get up and go of the sympathetic aspect of our nervous system. But we're also centered and we're grounded and we're ready and we're activated in that place of connected awareness in the heart. And we are very intentional with the energy you're putting into things, the being that you're being when you're doing the doing and that's moving up to a more of a ventral vagal state. Right. So these are the different states of the nervous system based on the polyvagal theory that is really widely accepted and very well understood to be the different states of our nervous system that impact us and especially relevant when we are doing stressful things in life, right. And we're experiencing a lot of these external pressures and. You know, admittedly it's it's a lot and especially when we're very sensitive and and over this last week or so, I've been really noticing a lot of emotional responses of of getting really tearful of just, you know, obviously there's big stuff that's happening that's very emotionally intense, but even just also the stuff that you see on social media, like dogs doing cute things and it just touches my soul and and admittedly, as you may or may not know. Only in January. So only like 2 and a two and a bit months from where we are right now. We let our sweet Bailey boy who was a 16 year old cockapoo we he needed to go. It was time for him to go over the Rainbow Bridge. And you know those paw prints they leave on your heart. They're deep and they it's there, right?It's doggies are special. And he was my cowor and I spent a lot of time with him and and I'm still recalibrating to that and that's OK, you know, it's OK And it and and dogs are very special and so that's OK, right. And so it's just, I bring that up to tell you that, you know, there's a lot in our life that we sometimes just kind of hold underneath the surface, right. And it's one of my teachers, Kylie talks about how if we don't allow emotions to be. Expressed. It's like when you're in a pool. Have you ever done this?It's like when you're in a pool and you get one of those beach balls and you're trying to hold the beach ball underwater and you're you got your arms on it and you're holding on to it and you're trying to pull it underwater and you're trying to keep it underwater, keep it underwater. And you can only do it for so long before it goes like boing and it goes flying, right. And so that's it is that it's so important that we allow ourselves to. Experience these feelings, move through these energies, allow ourselves to recognize. And that's a level of like ninja status, awareness of recognizing these patterns within yourself, right?Because that's what this is, is an emotional intelligence, an emotional awareness and learning to become a nervous system ninja, which is something you'll learn how to do in the anxiety off switch. It takes practice. It takes practice and so. One of the tools that we can do to diffuse some of this energy is a power pause, and I want you to feel what it feels like to release some of this intense energy in a really healthy and safe way. So what we're going to do is breathe in, and as we breathe out, we're going to make a fist and we're going to inhale, relax. And I want you to make the fist, you know, mind your shoulder, mind your hands, mind your wrist. You might notice if you can see the video. I got a little something on my shoulder. So I'm. I'm gentle with myself, but I'm still intense with the squeeze. OK, so breathe in and exhale. Squeeze your butt while you do it. I know. What? Yeah. You didn't know you were going to get a booty workout too, did you?All right, so breathe in. Ready. Squeeze your fist. Squeeze your whole body. Squeeze, squeeze, squeeze, squeeze. And then relax. Oh, it feels good. Breathe in. Feel yourself squeezing your body, engaging your muscles. Try again. Use your abs, use your legs, squeeze your butt squeeze your fist and relax. One more time. Squeeze, squeeze everything. Squeeze it, squeeze it, squeeze it. And then relax. Bring your arms down by your sides. I'd love to know what you feel after doing that power pause. I feel a settling. If you can't see the video, I just took my hands and sweeped them across an imaginary table and just . It feels like everything just leveled out. It gives us a chance to express some of that intensity safely. It's cathartic because that energy needs somewhere to go. And if it's just stirring around inside of us, then that's when it can cause more challenges. It can cause more protective patterns to be activated. It can cause. More stress. It can cause hormonal disruption. It can cause sickness. It can cause immune weakening. It can cause a lot of things. It's so important that we learn to diffuse some of this energy. Emotions. You've heard me say this. Emotions are energy in motion. But if we're holding it all in and we're just trying to power through and we have all this pressure and I want to do it perfectly and I should do it now, it's just boiling inside of you. You know, I love my analogies. It's just boiling inside of you, right?Like the beach ball being held underneath the surface of the pool. Inevitably it's going to pop. It's like the water boiling in a pot with and you didn't slide a little bit of the lid off. You know how you do that?But you left the lid all the way on because you wanted it to boil and the water's just boiling and boiling and boiling. And then all of a sudden it's boiling all over the stove and then you have a big mess. It's so important for us to learn to. Take the lid off, right?To move the energy through our body. And here's where we get tripped up because we're like, yeah, but I got things to do. I got, I got, I got things to do. And that's I hear and I hear that from myself and I hear that from a lot of clients. I hear that from people inside the power pause movement. But here's the thing, when you learn to flip your anxiety off switch, when you learn what you're going to learn inside that free audio series, you will learn how to do this in a way that supports your day. That doesn't take away from it in a way that feels like you just went to yoga and took a big time out, but it literally only takes 2 minutes. That's what this is for, is giving you something that's usable, that's realistic, that helps you to do what you're doing so damn well, but in a way that's more aligned because it's from the truth of who you are. You're giving yourself a chance to take the lid off, blow off a little bit of steam. So that you can keep that train a moving. Like, I just love so many analogies and I hope they make all make all the sense. So that's what I wanted to share with you today and just give you that, you know, honest feedback and reflection that this is a journey, right?And and it's a rewiring process and it's an it's a process of expansion and evolution. And there will be times when you notice yourself in the old patterns, but what you're learning to do here and what you'll learn to do in the anxiety off switch. Is to recognize those patterns so that when they come up, you can navigate through them more gracefully. You can operate from that serene queen, serene being energy because you know what to do when it happens rather than just getting on that hamster wheel and Oh my God, not sustainable. We know that stress impacts the body on so many levels, and we know that the most powerful way that you have to stay in that place that where you're aligned with your vision, you stay in your truth, stay grounded, stay centered, is through these tools of nervous system regulation. And I'm so excited to share them with you inside the anxiety off switch. So again, totally free, brand new series, three-part series, 15 minutes each. And that way you get to learn how to make these tools part of your life so that you. Can become a nervous system ninja. You can give yourself what you need in that moment. You're going to learn more about yourself, your growth, how you operate, what you get to do to be able to become your own best advisor so that you don't need to be operating with that running on the fumes of three lattes and two almonds cuz you haven't eaten all day and you're just flying by on caffeine and cortisol and cuz you got so much to do. But you're actually in a state of productivity and joy and flow and energy and playfulness because you're giving yourself what you need on the deepest level of your being, your nervous system. So incredibly impactful. So make sure to join us for the anxiety off switch. It's totally free. And it's one of those things you can listen to whenever you want on the go, right?It's designed for that. And if you join us before April 10th, you actually get to join inside this incredible pop-up Facebook community where you will get a other deeper dive into the training and Q&A with me so that you can begin to implement these tools right away. So thank you so much for being part of this incredible movement, right?That's what this is. It's a movement of people. Redefining success to prioritize your health and happiness. Because how you feel matters. How you feel matters. It's literally the driving force, your energy, the being that you're being right. You're a spiritual being, having a human experience. You've probably heard me say that, but we forget because we get so in our head. So that's what I wanted to share with you today. Sending you so much love, so much Aloha. Make sure to join us for that free series and share it with your friends. If you know anybody that is navigating these challenges or is, you know, a very driven, passionate entrepreneur or ambitious woman that's up to big things in the world. And she talks about or she doesn't. You know, she might talk about these challenges, but not everybody does, right?But you might hear her saying things like, I'm just so busy, I'm overwhelmed. I have so much to do. There's never enough time. And she has that vibe. Maybe gently suggest that you've been listening to this podcast and this crazy woman that lives in Hawaii has some things to share that might be helpful for her. Just start there, OK? Thank you so much for helping to spread the word. This is truly a passion of my heart, and I believe that mental health is part of the reality of being a human. And when you have tools to navigate that without the shame, without the stigma, you get to be thriving. You get to be witnessed and celebrated for all that you are, because you deserve that. You deserve that. You are not those challenges. You're not anxiety. You're not depression. You're not ADD. You're not any of those things. You are the loving awareness behind them. You are the consciousness that holds that. You are not your thoughts. You get to witness those thoughts, right?You get to navigate life through this beautiful body, this vehicle that you get to experience. And sometimes it comes with challenges, right? It's a vehicle for your soul, but it's also this beautiful sacred garment that allows your soul to be expressed. So. Learning to navigate with as much grace and ease and fun and play and joy and love as possible. And that's all I have for you today. See you inside the anxiety off Switch. Bye.