BTMPS: Doped with Morgellons

Crystal joins the Board of Peace on a billion dollar loan she got from a North Korean dictator’s petty cash box. That is how she affords to fly in to Washington on a private jet she borrowed from Qatar and attend the historic signing of the Great American Recovery Initiative Act, which our dear messiah just signed into law on Jan 29 2026. Everything is going well until Crystal refuses to high five the president of Weather Tech and is sent to an Alaskan Gulag for asking why the fuck he is there. The gulag, refreshingly damp for a frozen hell, is where she reports the real story that no one else is reporting anywhere in America. Because yes, less people here are dying of drug overdoses, and no it’s not because RFKJR and goldman sachs and exploding drug boats put their heads together and solved addiction. It’s because since the summer of 2024 the drug supply has become the pure bug supply …. and Crystal claims that every military in the world is listening to the people who have been systematically stigmatized and silenced. Disclaimer: take this story with a neural grain of salt, since this is clearly just another one of those crazy methhead morgellon people talking about bugs again.