My little flip flops and cowboy boots welcome to another episode of Jesse and Wilder's Guide to Life I'm Jesse that's Wilder and we're your guide your life what it is with it I am gonna let it slide, but I do feel like flip flops and cowboy boots is a little bit gendered I don't think so in what way do you think? Because only women wear cowboy boots and only men wear flip flops dang you got me again I was doing that yeah, right you right you right what's good baby? I'll tell you what's good and by good. I mean bad today I this is a little maybe even a little teaser for the episode don't tell him though, but today I picked up some lunch fix-ins at the grocery store at Sprouts God bless sprouts for the most part It's like a little a little Whole Foods Meets a Meets a Trader Joe's Yeah, but with none of the good parts no some of the goods.
I like this. I think I goods one of the things they got I mean hit you one of the things I got that I normally crush I love them they make like a like an adult Lunchable situation charcuterie. It's called charcuterie. Yeah, I mean kind of but not as actionable as our just charcuterie Well, no because So this one will have like lots of cheese like yes charcuterie, but then it'll have like a little chicken salad in one of those containers And then like some cracky sitip it in then there's always like a little a little sweet goodness like some grapes You know not like an actual sweet treat like a fucking candy bars up and but a little grapes Let me I'm telling this big long boring story to tell you this I bit into my grapes.
There were seeds in them. Oh my god You fucking idiot It's there any sprouts fucking would worse sometimes I forget that there are seed yes, correct Okay, so this is it right with the tangerine I'm always on the ready because a tangerine is something that really it feels like maybe 60 40 flip you bite in you're gonna Get them nasty little seeds, so I'm kind of you know, I'm going in there has you get me start on a home with their topic I'm writing a book right now called our oranges worth it And I think the answer is no oranges net not if you're doing it all the work right if somebody else is doing the work for you Yes, it hands you a fully fresh orange in its peel. No fucking worth it. I don't care how good it is Do can I let me pop let me ask you something?
Is it more or less convenient? What would you rather do peel and eat an orange right or? Make orange juice with a juicer because the juicer is a bitch to clean afterwards first of all what you should have said was The juice worth the squeeze right? I mean I was answering that is yes the juice is worth the squeeze I love juice bro, and it's it's kind of fun now.
Can you tell me about your sprouts order? Yeah, I mean that's it I'm a little RC cola I did it to some what if you go to a charcuterie at a restaurant and they were like and with this humbled fog goat We suggest pairing with an RC cola. Yeah, we have a we have a like a pre-sun here, and it's then we made it a little bit smaller Somehow it's like a little bit our 97 chateau Pinot noir would go very well with some cold pizza sauce The lunchables pizzas so good, but I never once had them hot such a mystery. Yeah, what are you?
How are you doing it hot ever like not at school right? They had a lot of what I actually just fell down this rabbit hole recently They had a lot of wild ones they had you know they had like a hot dog and a hamburger one. Oh, no I did not also vile I mean they had the big boy ones right like that was that was the whole deal with the pizza one is it was the big boy One that came in like a big box, and that's why you had your little RC cola, but yeah So favorite cold meat from lunchables was a hammer turk hard choice It's hard because I ham is hot ham to be as a higher ceiling lower throat Remember how I was like you take a wrong bite at that ham. It's gonna ricochet out of your mouth.
It was slippery as dickens That time I think I talked about this one time I was at Costco and the sample they gave me was hot mashed potatoes with a cube of cold ham in the middle of it It was like a bunch of all ham. Oh god. Where are they thinking? I mean, you know I'm a ham man and that is still that is My test is only one singular misstep.
It had a seat of great that sucks for you It also sucks for everyone to have to listen to five minutes of a podcast about let wait Can I ask you a question go on because I am guilty of this this very day going when you get the seat of grape How do you proceed never? I know I don't get the seat of great. I don't even know what I would do I would probably throw the whole thing in the garbage it is what I end up doing But first I said well, maybe I got a bad one and so what I did was I had a great Yeah, they're very they don't they really I mean Dimitri Martin has the fruit of hope joke It's true. You never know what the next day is gonna bring you with a grape.
Yeah Yeah, you could have you could have 12 of the worst grapes in your life right next to 12 of the best grapes your life There's no rhyme or reason to him. Yeah, so I pounded that first one crunch crunch crunch yuck I spit it out like a baby second one. I you know, I Hesitantly been in fuck another dark dark purple. Yeah, of course.
Yeah, sorry. Sorry. I like a green grape I like them both. How about that?
You know where you might get grapes? Well, no, you know where you probably wouldn't get grapes Oh boy go on a business lunch. Okay Today's topic business lunch quick while they're explaining to me what the fuck that means because I truly don't know I Know either. Okay, okay.
Should I just describe what I think a business lunch looks like? Yeah, do it Okay, it is lunch time obviously the daytime. It's a weekday and You're in two men to white men in suits shaking hands like this sucks takes oh my god What power lunch I feel like is the same thing here? Okay here?
I guess I have a couple of like pretty essential questions I think we're very not quite lit the thing that I just described right which I don't even know wait hold on hold on does a Business lunch need to take place Durr, okay, I got my questions is like is business being done at the lunch. I think yes I think you're there to make a fucking deal make a deal very quite lit. I don't know that goes Yeah, okay, so you're making deals so this is not like me and me and my homies We work at the same office park and we're just going down to togos to get it. No, that is a very not quite lit I think like is deal a category.
I think business is a cat Business so like making a fucking deal is very quite lit. I think that's tight. Yeah, bro. You haven't made a deal at lunch That's not sick.
I don't think I deal at lunch once it was to start a frozen food podcast. That can't be true We didn't do that over lunch. We must have been drunk. We did that at coma damn Wow, the day day an origin story that is not I mean make a deal and start a podcast I think start a podcast is one start a podcast is horrible Please don't ever call starting a frozen food podcast a deal What about for very quite lit mr.
Hollywood is taking out, you know some young musician kid he thinks he's gonna be the next beaver, bro Mr. That's very quite lit is like mr. Berry Gordy is gonna give just a beaver Okay, okay, I hold on I have to ask you on the breaks because I think that you've forgotten how the podcast works You cannot just paint a picture and then say that one's good. They're individual elements I can't know no, I can't just say mr.
Hollywood talks to baby beaver and they strike a deal I'm trying to say is this is the business. It's like someone's getting their big break big break. Okay, okay, okay Okay, you know, I just threw me off of mr. Hollywood which to me is a two mr.
Real quick real quick Real quick tell me what mr. Hollywood looks like give me a mr. Hollywood is six eight. She is 75 years old His suit is too big.
Yeah, it's too big. He's six eight and he's still too big. Yeah super horse mr. Hollywood did He was like he was like but I could wear a shack suit And he's humbled by number 34 himself.
Oh, it's Shaquille O'Neal I think he's very pretty good for participants in a business lunch. Okay, so I was actually just gonna say celebrity He's a fucking spectacle. Yeah, I think a celebrity in general is a two because like I feel like there's gonna be a lot of Yesing going on there. You're gonna tell Shaq no to his business idea of his business lunch I don't fucking think so kid, but if I'm at you know Mikey's steakhouse that sounds like a don't if I'm at Michael's steakhouse There we go, and I see mr.
Hollywood sitting down with who's some really relevant celebrity I don't know weird Al Yankovic, then I'm like dang they're making a fucking deal right now There's some business lunch going on over here. Yeah, I do want a witness. I do want to witness it I don't know I guess bonus point is to witness from the outside. What about like props are documents being signed?
Fucking this guy said props. I'm gonna prop up like what is that accessories? Okay. Yeah, sure documents I think is very not quite lit.
It's hard to eat around yeah I don't like my greasy thingies on a document no and I think that the deal at a business lunch has got to be sort of an Oral deal or like a handshake deal. I think that it's a little aggressive to be like we have a deal They're like yeah, I don't like well great. I've got the paperwork already paperwork already paperwork comes after I think I think paperwork Maybe a one I don't like they work at all let alone at the table right right we haven't type of restaurant We have to restaurants. We have Mikey steakhouse, which is one with Michael's steakhouse I'm talking about more like like steakhouse.
I think steakhouse in general is a very quite lit I disagree isn't that where the deals go baby? Okay, here's here's the thing here's the thing I'm a business on a steakhouse for lunch if not deals right well I first of all I don't think steakhouses are open for lunch for this exact like that's no I'm actually like picturing one very famous Hollywood boa steakhouse. It's like on the fucking sunset strip It's open for lunch people go there get a fucking wedge salad. That's so deals all day like bro If you found out that sucks so like lawyers what if they're discussing the case I think steakhouse too heavy for lunch Even if you're getting a wedge salad, I think it's a lot of work.
It's a place getting a wedge salad It's gonna take a long time. I just don't I think a steakhouse is a pain in my ass a little bit I'll tell you what I'm gonna toss one out for you. Okay. What do you where do you put like a hibachi place like a Benny hana.
Yeah, Benny hana. It's it's bad for business. It is a little bit right. It's a distraction Not gonna get anything done.
You're gonna have too much fun shit too much dang fun in there But she's no good. Okay anyone hate Benny hana get at me in my mentions. I'll fucking kill you I love Benny hana. If you don't like Benny hana, you are not a fun person.
You like how a bad person Yeah, it's like who could sit there and watch that shit and be like mm. Yeah, too good too good for that like is the food incredible? No, it's fine. It's fine.
I like to show it's good enough is the same tricks every time yes, of course I don't expect to go in there and see you know what I can't do it if I do it home I wouldn't go how about that when you learn to fucking do it at home then you could talk shit 100% when I was Dumpster diving through postmates during the the heights of the pandemic. Oh, no, I did it I did see Benny hana as an option and I thought that was fucking hilarious. Yeah, you gotta think you just want the food Yeah, you gotta think panties been rough on hibachi's huh cuz like in addition to not great for takeout I guess like shout out to Benny hana for weathering the storm Yeah, well I don't know if they have bud because you that business model necessitates a bunch of strangers sitting shoulder to shoulder with their Mass off to eat within like spitting distance literally so I don't know if they're out of the woods quite yet I googled Benny hana and then I did the news tab on google and the first thing says is that Steve aoki wants to be cryogenically Frozen with his family and I don't understand why is that anything to do with a hana? I'm gonna have to look into this for one moment.
Oh Fucking what Steve aoki's dad founded Benny hana. I didn't know that I had no idea his dad rocky Wow rocky aoki Aoki is that his name damn I mean that can't be real, but that's pretty that's a pretty slick one, huh rocky aoki is not bad Yes, me Benny hana founder Heroki aoki Fucking chiller dude damn hero kyoki is sick as fuck bonus points hero kyoki Yeah, gotta be hope well Maybe not do we know if this guy's like super racist or something? I hate I hate just calling out a celebrity They may stink maybe check this fucking dude out. I'm gonna look at him Heroki aoki he looks like a fucking he's oh my god wait hold on bro I'm gonna have a spiral here a restaurant tour admits insider trading Benny hana chain founder faces 12 to 18 months in jail Month.
Oh, yeah, I mean 12 to 18 a rookie eats that he got no problem with that. Yeah damn dude. Oh, we died at age 69 nice Oh The Heroki aoki segment of the podcast our new segment where we talk about the one and the only hero kyoki. Yeah Smelling it is a challenge though.
Yeah, it's also not I might be saying it wrong. It's not how her up. He is normally spelled I got a location that I think is the best sushi. Do you agree?
Oh, it's it's very fun I think that this has to be a expensive meal you're not gonna go to a taco truck for a business lunch Well, okay, you're not gonna talk a truck But I actually think you go to this is kind of part of the reason I don't like steakhouse a little bit I think if you try and stunt on them too hard It's it comes off is a little bit we should talk a little bit about the business first so we get an idea What the fuck we're saying? Okay? What kind of what kind of business you want business boy? I?
Can only think of making like lawyers talking about the case is that business lunch? I guess yeah, that's very pretty good to me I guess I know the lawyers doing movies. They all go out for a steak Are not eating steaks or they love steaks never seen a movie where someone eats a steak because it's boring and it takes forever And it's just 40 minutes of chewing and they're like mmm meat. It's not happening.
It's not my fault You only steak. It's not fucking happening. Maybe prime rib which doesn't count. Oh prime rib I Prime prime rib I think is a two or a one's mates this motherfuck act like post mates is operational after 7 p.m What do you think about prime rib?
That's that's probably a one's a lot of similar stuff with a bocce Not that it's a show but it's a fatty too fatty for lunch. Yeah, there's gotta be what about oh like a hotel restaurant That's very pretty good sterile. I think it's too what about rooftop restaurant rooftop I think there's too many variables that's a two as well because like maybe it's windy maybe it rains and you're dealing fucked up Yeah, I guess I'm thinking also of like you know There's a lot of restaurants that are like at the top of a building but they're not there's still indoors You know what I mean top floor yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm sure is very quite lit.
Yeah like fucking Portland City Grill and shit like that I'll tell you what is a two I think it's another one that really depends on your crowd But like and it's maybe even a one like a really trendy spot. Yeah, cuz you don't it's gonna be fucking packed first of all Which I guess you could stunt a little bit and be like oh I am God as a reservation no problem But it's also like is it so trendy that it's a distraction right where it's like oh we got a chimichurri ice cream dumplings And you're trying to focus on your deal with a bus. Oh Oh, it'll that bus. Oh fish tank, bro.
What do you want me to do with that? I figure out somewhere to put it. No, I won't you can't I won't accessories fish tank. You know, it's actually something you're bringing Oh, it's good.
It's fish. I mean god. Damn. No, I'm not I won't do it fish.
Fish. It's not cool. You're They're so cool. What are you talking about?
This is this episode as hell. Here's what I want to say. Yeah business What do we think about like I don't like brainstorming? I guess not really business brainstorming.
Oh my god So boy I hate brainstorming dude, right? Like let's let's get let's get some lunch and like discuss the like let's figure out how we want to how we want to do this shit You know I'm talking about I hate that brainstorming lunch is a one so boring. What about um signing a client? Yeah, there you go signing a fuck.
We're whining and dining, you know, Mr. Heroki Aoki the owner of Benie Hana Absolutely love mystery. You're trying to land this whale Okay, so then what else we got? I mean we have celeb in Mr.
Hollywood in I guess lawyers is not business. It's participants and yeah I guess both I actually think lawyers are a one. I hate lawyers do one right because it's like I'm we're doing business But I had to bring my lawyer. I have another one for accessories that I think is bad I think almost all accessories are bad if you have to bring like samples, bro.
Oh my god. Oh samples Do you mean like oh I'm trying to I'm trying to sell this? Yeah, I'm you're the president of Nordstrom's and I'm trying to sell you my knife collection So I bring my big box of knives to the fucking Fucking a fucking Restaurant and I start cutting out the business what about if you're trying to sell booze to a bar you show up there What's I guess you're not eating lunch, but you're at a restaurant. Yeah, I mean that's also not that feels more like a sales call than it does a business lunch I have a I have a category.
I think I want to put in but I don't really what to how what to do Like power moves is that its own category? That's how I'm feeling. Yeah, I like that obviously you're gonna pay for the meal Like that's picking up the tunes pick up the check, but now hold on Opposite side of that. What about not reaching for the check.
What's the benefit of that for as a businessman? You're making someone else pay you're like what if they think that you're gonna pay and you just look right back at them with the check It's the table. No, why would you do that? You're trying to strike business?
Why would you why are you trying to play? Check it out. I just mean if you're on the opposite side What if I'm Justin Bieber and I'm sitting there with mr. Hollywood.
Oh, yeah, I mean, yeah, okay, so like not like I'm saying not doing That oh my god. Thank you so much. Just doing like that. Yeah.
Yeah, you got this. Oh, okay. Okay, okay Okay, so just fucking like you you earned it you that lunch. Yeah, I earned it.
Yeah, yeah Yeah, just be confident. I just like reveal but yeah, okay, you earned it I got I think I got a two that in any situation normally I think would be a three But what about fucking put it on my tab? Oh Having a tab at a restaurant is pretty wack. Oh, so you're gonna put it on one.
I don't know What would that mean like you're there every day? No, I think I feel you weekly Yeah, I guess I'm always thinking it's like a company tab Like I'm you think you'd have to offer a restaurant to have a retainer to eat for free whenever you want I think you'd have to go there once a week for like five years and then it be like let me go Let me give you a thousand bucks a week. I come in when I want yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah We'll just we'll call it even I'm gonna try that I think put it on my tabs or two Yeah, I don't understand it. It also is like it's I don't know bro It might be a one cuz if I'm just a beaver and mr.
Hollywood says put it on my tab I might be like oh, he's not gonna pay for like you can't he's broke Okay, I'll all all Business lunches for flexing flexes only right right right um Then also literally flexing is that one literally flexing is bad. Okay. I what do you put the you all have the usual That's a one right like your big fat zone you come in you order your dang big cheeseburger every day or yeah It's but it is funny if they're usual is not like like you like all have the usual and they bring you this plate and it's like soup with jelly It's just a whole stick of butter. Oh, bro.
By the way happy soup season, baby. Oh Shout out to the soup season. Oh man. I got another one I think you it seems required I don't know if it's very quite liquid you gotta have one of them sick You have to have a fucking tight credit card if you're gonna pick up the tab Don't put down your credit card should be heavier than the plate.
Yeah, don't put down a fucking an old rubbed off fucking Bank of America Yeah, it has like a beach background on it. Yeah I think that you gotta have alcohol. Yeah, okay, so where do we put that accessories? That's nice What kind of what what are you drinking at your power lunch?
You? Mean I got one of those fat Tuesday I'm gonna take it to go. What a plastic one. I'm fucking business lunch continues on the sidewalk, baby A buffet is not a good business lunch, which would be Obviously that is a nightmare.
I have a such a bad one it order for them. Oh My god order for them in just in general horrible unless you're like out at some restaurant where like you know One person knows the menu really well, but fuck I will say that I've never actually lived that have you lived that before no I'm just imagining that like the waiter comes to the table and starts handing the menus and they goes no no no I'm gonna have the duck. He's gonna have the ravioli. Oh my god Especially with like fucking all the cart entrees like I like I it is there is a universe where it is mildly acceptable if you're like at a Toppus place or like you know sushi place and you're like actually you know what we're just gonna get whatever this like sashini and these Roles and some edamame and some whatever if sharing it's a little different It's still like let's have a conversation about yeah, I agree for me and what we're talking about ravioli What is the deal with restaurants only serving you like four little raviolis?
So this is ravioli somewhere and you get like three of them. What's that about? Yeah, and I don't fucking care How big they are fam don't tell I don't care. It's not gonna do the trick the size of a pillow It doesn't matter give me more than two hundred spaghetti I'm I can I tell you the story of a hero.
Yeah Chelsea has a friend who she has solved this problem What she does is she says excuse me. How many raviolis come with this? Oh, yeah that I Yeah, how many raviolis I mean I respect the hell out of that question I just don't know if I could bring myself to continuing my meal at that restaurant after I've done that okay, and what if they say like Four and you're like no not I'd be like what it cost if they were like I don't know 12. Yeah, can you double it?
Can you stack them make a sandwich for me out of ravioli please? Italian place? I think it's a two or a one. It's a two I think well I mean to pet like nice trendy like cool Italian like coastal Italian.
I don't know about like New York red sauce joint Yes, I was thinking red sauce joint. We were slurping Yeah fucking meatballs all over the dang place Cheesecake factory very not quite lit I mean I'm just gonna say chain restaurant I don't think there's like too many chain restaurants where that's gonna fly I think that like you get bread you gotta have bread first right this restaurant needs to come with bread first You gotta I don't think so because we already called sushi very quietly and you are very not much gonna get read there Yeah, I mean, okay, so ginger bread was the diff No, no, no, who's Bush first of all if that even made any sense you're not they're not like and here's your ginger Table yeah Participants I got one for you. I don't know where to put it the boss I don't like it I don't like it a lunch with my boss But if I'm the one being like wind and dined maybe and I see that fucking CEO Jackson came down lunch from his ivory tower They got the Mac Jackson to come down from his big corner office on the 450th floor That's pretty It's a two though because bosses so black dude. Yeah, they are incredibly Obviously so it's like cool that the boss is there but also like fuck the boss.
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah boss ain't gonna get loose No, no, no nice tees with one Like an audio smother like a scorpion bowl any any any themed shots Yeah, a fucking home depot tub full of jungle juice not great What's a good booze beer?
I think beers what I think you have to read the room is all like if you're if it's like Okay, like here's here's here's my thing if you're talking about big break But maybe the big break is like an up and coming author right? I think maybe a little shampi. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah a little wine little chump And if you're taking Justin Bieber out he's having cranberry juice power move champagne after the deal is struck Just calling it over just okay. Hey, can we get a little bit?
We just kind of a big deal or just go over to me or you have a set first you're like the minute that you say yes then you go Hey Mark get over here. Yeah, you know, you know the day. Hey, we got another one, baby And he just yeah mark fucking pops that bottle. Yeah, yeah Oh huge tip bro power moves tip tip a lot.
Oh big dad. Yeah huge tip If you know what I mean What's a very quite little accessory? A nice pen. Oh done a sick fucking pen.
Yeah, great call of you great call and how about this? How about this this is an area I love I'm the guy on the guy pitching the deal there's their sign of the deal I say hey use this pen I pull out my big beautiful nice pen They say this is incredible pen is the best pen I ever said so you know I keep it it's yours keep it. Yeah, so good Keep it is a fucking Holy shit, I mean also like I wouldn't that's I'd be like oh no man. Please this is a very nice pen.
Yeah, but then hey Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, don't sweat it. I got a hundred of them back on the desk Please keep it. I keep a bag of them in the sewer outside my house Pens is there anything other than pens that you can do it with you can't right? You know ones like I love those shoes Hey, you want to keep it?
Yeah. Yeah. Oh my god. It's beautiful watch.
Have it. It's yours, dude That's fucking I never tell you you have really you have such a you have such a nice set of teeth Oh, you want to have them have them I swear to god. I don't even use them I got a bag of more present my sewer Yeah, here's another cool pen scenario you have this sick fucking pen on you But you're like you weren't gonna volunteer it but someone's like oh I actually don't have a and then you're like oh I got you Pens are you know so tight about pens? Oh I'm fired up right now You can have the sickest fucking pen and you're never an asshole for having it you know what I mean There's a car at some point it's like okay, bro.
You're just showing off you just have I'm talking like a regular functional pen Yeah, beautiful pen no one's gonna judge you for that. I think that you're right But I mean much like a car there is a threshold like if you were like oh I brought my fountain pen and here's a little link Well people would be like you're insane. That's ridiculous. No, I'm talking about like a normal pen Yeah, I just go to luxury pen.
Oh, let me get in here. Come on Oh, this one's four hundred thirty five dollars. I must have it. I mean road you think it writes or what what's right?
It's like a mad dog. Oh, I see it But I'm actually on pens calm looking at this a beauty if I get 24 of them for a thousand dollars I will and that pens calm pens calm Convey national pen at pens calm. Oh, Baron. Yeah, I'm big big horny for pens.
Obviously It is my own the sword as I always say. Yeah, anyways, you guys come back later We're just gonna get a J off and look at pens. Yeah, it's cool. We're just gonna think about smooth.
They write participants very quite lit is Whom um Jabu I know Jabu is I think it too. I think we gotta give ourselves a little credit or couple party guys come on Party guys, but at this point turns and they're wired these two here and they'll be like we don't know Yes, they love pens. How many people? I think like three two is a little intense Yeah, and four is like it feels like a two-v2 situation, which I don't love Yeah, I think a very coiler participant is a former or current satisfied customer And not not in the sense of like oh, we're gonna I'm selling you like my security and I have this other person I sold security to I'm thinking like if I'm really talking about Mr.
Hollywood and we're talking about baby It's like maybe I just bring fucking Rihanna and I'm like look this is Rihanna I mean you can sign you know how yeah, you know who else my app is here and she's with me not you so that's distracting But I'm like I'm down to go get sushi with Rihanna on the top floor if that's what you're asking that is what I'm asking Yeah, that sounds good as hell. Okay. Well, then I guess it's bringing settled. Do you like this?
It has to be in a restaurant, right the lunch I do believe has to be I mean it's not gonna be at home boy location home is bad Huh your home. Hey, bro. We're gonna make a deal. Just come by swing by my kitchen.
Yes, we buy the crib List my wife Irma. She's making our famous chicken salad. Yeah, I swear to God. No, you're gonna love this shit It's true.
It's real Ethiopian. I yes, I know my name is Dave McAllister, but the shit is so authentic you have no idea For participants, we only have in very quite late three peeps and Rihanna. I don't see any issues with that. Um, no, I suppose That's correct business.
I don't know if this is business. It's definitely not a power move, but uh business like I gotta run it up the flagpole You know, like you can't make the deal cuz you got a chance sucks. Yeah, why are you there? Don't do the lunch unless you're ready to make the fucking deal.
Yeah, don't yeah, exactly Don't do the munch unless you're swinging that crunch. You know what I'm saying saying. Oh fucking merch alert No, no, no, no, we need to rate it in at a certain point Not every garbage thing that comes out of our mouth can be on a pen that says don't do the munch if you ain't got the crunch Shit, you're right. It's perfect.
Yeah, that fucking tatted across my knuckles Jesus Christ four letters on each finger damn That's right. I got a bad power move. Don't do any close-up magic what if you're signing someone as a magician Yeah, I mean I suppose what where do you think magician like in Vegas only where are magicians having business lunches? I mean the magic castle is directly next to a very ritzy Japanese restaurant.
So are you trying to get me that close-up magic is it too? Huh, yeah, bro. Look. Okay.
I know it's like cool to pretend like we don't like magic, but come on I mean no I magic a little table side close-up magic, baby What if that's how you make the fucking documents to appear design See, but this is what I'm saying I think that I would see that as a large red flag like imagine you were signing a Department lease and you felt kind of good about it and the guy was like I found the lease right behind your hair And then you'd be like I gotta go this guy's gonna kill me. Yeah, I'm actually saying that in a restaurant holy moly Close-up magic Manches also also also also also also important important alert alert We didn't say it if it weren't already implied neither of us has worked in a business I think I'll serve in either of us whatever ever be trusted to go to be the one on a business lunch And it's not entirely true that place was fake. We wind and dined Paul Walker, but he rests in peace Oh my god, we had we had a bunch of sketchy investors I used to work for this company and it was a policy scheme for sure and I'll buy a foreign investors came by oh investors Is I think a two for business huh? That's who you're whining and dining.
I don't scare I just I don't like when somebody is only in a place because they have lots of money to spend that's scary scary But dang bro being an investor sounds fucking tight if it works. Oh sure right yeah I mean what you just like I'm hella rich come talk to me about it We don't really have much for accessories. What other accessories do you think are in this case sucks? Yeah, briefcase things.
I think briefcase is in general can get fucked like what are we doing with a briefcase? Why I mean in the same note I think this is better than every case in a vacuum But in this specific situation is not a backpack also that like don't show up to the lunch with your back on you little baby No, I think this is a two actually but like cigarettes like if you're outside I mean yeah, you're after the meal and then you maybe you've got somebody who you know, right is you got like you're winding and dining John Waters and so you you came prepared with a fucking metal cigarette case full of those tiny little cigarettes He likes to smoke. I don't think that I am as bitten by the cigarette thing as you I can give it a what I just think that it's something it's something right. I just have this image of my head Maybe this is like a mad men thing but of like we wind we died and now we're waiting for our cab out here And it's like oh yeah, let's let's we struck a deal that's the thing That's really the thing that I'm thinking of for business lunch.
Yeah in general mad men how much of that show of you watch Well, I watch the first three episodes about four times kept trying don't understand why you people like it so much I feel very positive that there are no business lunches in the first three episodes But I know I'm just thinking that that's what they do. Yeah, hey, bro I got 15 things to never ever do at a business lunch for you. What are they number one ask a stranger to Lunch to pick their brain. Oh, you're just reading so very not quite list very not quite lit picking someone's brain Okay, what are we calling that?
What is that a fucking listicle suck? This is a Forbes article. Okay. What else you got for me?
It says don't extend an invitation to a stranger and specify the restaurant date Yeah, I mean sure of course. We're not gonna stranger. I'm not gonna have a business lunch with a stranger That doesn't make sense invite someone to lunch near you and far from them. Oh my god This is just like etiquette.
This is just generic etiquette. Yeah, I wish you weren't reading this Unvetted internet. Yeah, I'm done. I'm done with this you're on our podcast.
You're not very good. So stupid one of the do-nots is basically make sure the restaurants open I Mean Yeah, this is a general rules for going to a restaurant. Make sure it's open Don't be mean to the staff is the food good if you're being taken out live it up. How about that for etiquette is etiquette a thing?
We're not doing that. I don't want another topic this late in the game. Live it up. Just live it up.
Yeah, live it up I mean that's kind of a power move to be like oh, yeah Actually bring me one more entree. Can I have actually have 12 raviolis this time? Thank you I'm gonna put that as a two because that could backfire and they're like we're not gonna work with this guy He ordered three plates of ravioli and he didn't even eat the last one. What about a tire?
I'm doing okay. I mean I had some coffee earlier Thinking what you thinking right now Christ Can't breathe I have to tell you we can't do it because we do the same thing every time it's like cowboy boots. Yes good A cowboy we can't always just do cowboy outfit I just said you a picture of something I'm looking at on Google image search for business lunch Do you see there's a bunch of loose blueberries on the table? Toss that what about I know this is like different kind of but what about brunch doesn't it too?
I forget about it. Oh forget about it. This guy says go goo bro business brunch is there one play Why don't you suffer work? I mean if you're doing your business lunch, and there's not a little bit of play you're doing it all wrong But no working at brunch, please I'm still pretty a gas with a tire that's yeah, I'm just yeah, I'm proper chuffed I got nothing else to say about business lunch.
Okay, we've managed to get this much down I think we did I actually think I think we deserve quite a bit of credit here that it didn't it wasn't 20 minutes like I Mmm-hmm and by the time I'm done with it But how about this how about this yeah? We are notorious for turning any topic into well We're just gonna talk about all of our favorite foods and be gross about them for 40 minutes and this one that is food based We didn't really talk about the food that much. Yeah, I mean I was trying yeah Well, I didn't want to talk about steak houses. They suck dude got state.
Okay. Can you like a steakhouse like take a steak out of it? I get it you like a steak you're me whatever it's stupid so stupid like we get it you have a big good But do you like the fucking atmosphere and the other food of the steakhouse? I like the dark the dark ones I don't I don't love like the big glass window like boa.
I don't I don't need power lunch steak house. I want dark dingy I hate it. Oh my god. Yeah, the boot everything's uncomfortable.
They're like here's a side. What's the side? Oh, it's a cream spinner It's expensive. I love cream spin.
They're like here's a steak It's $47 and if you want any side they're each nine. Yeah, and they're and they're heavier than the steak somehow Oh my god. Oh this cream corn cream spinach. Oh cream So nasty, I love it I want to break potato.
I want some fucking There's no type of sense in a steak place absolutely not it's just to get good and full remember Geneva steaks Oh, yeah, the only steak restaurant all step foot in Geneva steaks where you're thriving in college shout out Geneva steaks Yeah, I got nothing else to say you got anything say you got a flashback or anything no I got nothing else dude I thought we were gonna run this one for like two hours three hours. So I didn't bring anything prepared We also didn't even I mean we did talk about grapes for like 15 minutes at the top So we didn't really do great work on this one no no we talked about sprouts and grapes and we talked about raviolis quite a bit I guess we did talk about food quite a bit. I think we're talking about food. We just talked about all the things you get a steakhouse damn This has been another pretty Luke warm Just a while there's guys alive.
Thank you so much to bad Todd for the music Shut up at Todd in Portland now still not listening shout out to out of Fay. He's got the art That's who did that one. Yeah, shout out to Jacksonville, Florida. Oh my god Jacksonville fucking Florida Rep it baby rep Jacksonville.
I was a jags baby. Go to the best soul food of my life in Jacksonville, Florida You're you gotta be out of your freaking mind right now. What's up about through with you? It's the south, baby Oh my god, it's right at the top Florida right the top of the south of the top of the Florida Top of the Florida.
I don't like that. What do you I don't trust the top of the Florida? Not as much as I trust the bottom of the Florida. That's it Jacksonville.
That's our number one. Yeah, that's our number one Our number one scary area Philly LA and there's lots of downloads coming from North Carolina. It doesn't make any sense Where's Bulgaria? Where's Bulgaria though?
Oh, where's Bulgaria? Bulgaria Sound wave Go ahead and check out our merch store as always and hey, it's been a while since we did this one Go leave a fucking review dudes. Can you just do it? I don't think it helps if I'm being honest I don't think it helps but it does help we would already been done good.
It does help Only want me to find out if you fucking do it already just do it. Oh Nike like a shy little buff would say just do it Jeez Louise. All right. Well, that's gonna be there.
That's all folks Thank you. Got the bunch don't bring the crunch or whatever it was that we said. Oh, is that our tagline? Haven't had a great response to don't kill each other.
Have we had any response? Is it is it if you don't don't? What is it if you ain't got the munch don't know if you You ain't got the munch don't do the crunch. That's not it either.
That's not it If you want a munch you got to have the crunch if you're trying to munch you better have that crunch Okay, if you're there's no way we'll remember this if you're trying to munch you better