Welcome to another episode of Jesse Wilders. Guide to Life. I'm Jesse. That's Wilder.
We're here to guide you live. Don't forget we got Canadian listeners. I wouldn't be out there calling a student. I wouldn't be out there starting off our show saying everyone's a hoser.
Oh, you're right about that one. That concludes our Canadian... ...loose from Brother Fair. You didn't want to do anymore.
I honestly just couldn't think of anything. I was gonna just start doing what you want to be honest. Yeah, pretty much. Pretty much.
Oh, sorry. Like that's it. Shout out to Canada. Shout out to you, Toronto, for being there for us.
We're right there for you as well. We're back now after the brief break. Yeah, well, this one we had, I mean, we always, this is the pretty much the norm. I hope we come out with one episode a month and we have a boatload of excuses.
We're back for real this time. Look, I lost power for three days. I don't know what you want from me or from Wilder, but we can't do it if I don't have power. Shout out to Pacific Gas and Electric, the largest utility company in, I think, the country and the stinkiest one in my heart and in my ass.
To that, that organization. Yeah, if you don't, for our international listeners, for our listeners abroad, just a quick summary, PG&E do all the power for the Bay Area and lots of other parts of California Pacific Gas and Electric. They're great as bad and stinky and old and outdated and they don't do a whole lot to fix it. And they burned down a couple of towns a few years ago because of how bad their equipment was.
That fully, fully did that. It's a classic, oops, dude. Yeah, it's a big whoopsey. They call it a whoopsey-dipsey.
That was the official report. Every company gets a few of them. Yeah, they said, the PG&E's official response was, Did I any land? Yeah.
Give Patty Poppy a ring of CEO of PG&E and say, Hey, was this you and she go, and then I, and then you know. Yeah, and send her a couple bucks, guys. She, she's struggling in the money department. She only made $53 million this year.
So if you can, just a dollar a day for less than a cup of coffee, you can support. Yeah, you feed an evil millionaire. Patty Poppy and her horrible, horrible ways. Anyways, we're talking about buying a house today.
We are talking about buying a house, but I was going to say, you don't have anything for the time machine since you've just gone through a power outage. I do recall being like, they're kind of fun. They're not fun if it's two days. I do think there was a little bit of a whimsical nature.
Yes. How we were talking about a power outage. Yeah. It's not whimsical at all.
No, it's, I mean, we, okay. So something we didn't talk about that I think is, let's go on the way back machine. This of a job, flashback. I can't remember what we call the segment.
We did not actually talk about a per this per this rubric. I'm looking at right now. We didn't talk about a desired time. More than four hours is very not quite lit.
Incredibly incredibly not quite lit. And, and it was the nightmare that we talked about because you, you kept being like, well, just leave. Well, just getting your car and drive away. The county that I live in, which is an enormous county, 37,000 people without power.
So there was not like a good escape. My mom lost, lost power for like two hours. That's how that, that's the ideal power outage. Two hours, you get a little, you get your candle.
I think the ideal power outage is zero hours. Well, sure. Yeah, I had to take, I took a shower by candlelight to get ready in the, ooh, kind of fun though. I think we talked about this.
It's a little fun, dude, but not during, not when I'm getting ready for work. That's fun. I'm like a Sunday. No, no, no, no, no.
Not in the morning. That's no good. Yeah. A Sunday afternoon shower by candlelight.
Not a, not a Wednesday at 5.45 a.m. just. Every Sunday I shower by candlelight. I just live into something comfortable and I watch succession.
Mm hmm. My ritual. Do we talk about buying a house? We ship.
We did that. I did it. I don't want to just be the one directing traffic. Let's start off with some good things.
Right. Well, sure. Well, I think too, I've bought a house. You haven't bought a house, not to my knowledge.
I think what would be useful here is if you ask questions you have about buying a house, I can sort of fill in the blanks as best I can. Yes. Because we want to make sure this is not just, some of this is going to be like what to look for when buying a house. In fact, that'll be most of it.
But what we're not going to do is design our best house. We've done that like three other times. No, no, that's not going to do with buying a house. I'm not going to buy my dream house because I'm going to buy a house that has a legend for the hidden devil set in it.
Right. But a bonus point, and it is a crucial one, boy being rich, huh? Being rich is absolutely crucial here. It renders the experience almost pleasurable, I would imagine.
It also makes it possible. Like most people, I count myself as very incredibly privileged that I was even able to do this dumb thing, even though it's snakes, but like boy being rich just is kind of almost a necessity depending on where you're at. It really sucks as always a bonus point dude. I know.
What about categories? What about like, what are we doing here? I got, I got, okay, so I'm a little confused as to how this episode is going to go, but I do have one category right off the bat. You got to have a realtor because that's how it works, right?
Yeah. And I do want to just point out real quick, real quick, real quick that McGrav is saying that word correctly right now. He's saying that he's saying realtor because the word is REA and then the L. The L does not come before the A.
It comes after the A. Right. So you're talking about people say realtor. It's not a realtor.
I mean, I don't care how people say it, but it is like it sounds British when you say it realtor. Like it's how they add like aluminium. Right. It's that sounds British because you're saying it wrong.
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's fair.
So the realtor. Yeah. I'll tell you one thing that I think is very pretty good and it's borderline very not quite lit. If it's a friend, it's a little dicey.
Yeah. Cause like I've, I don't, yeah, I wouldn't even want that. I think. Well, okay.
So there's one of the hands. I know many people that have done this right on the one hand. A friend is someone you can be honest with, right? There's no like you don't have to hem and haul and pretend like you're interested in something when you're like, Oh, Nadia, this is not what I'm looking like.
How well is the quality of this really depends on the quality of the friend? A if it's like, this is a friend on acquaintance. The acquaintance is almost a very not quite lit. Oh, yeah.
Yeah. Yeah. Quaintance for sure. Cause then you're like, like some guy that you know that does this.
Yeah. That's like even fucking worst. But here's the problem with a friend, even a good friend. I know somebody who went through a friend and there is a comfort level that you shouldn't feel when you are buying a home.
So they like didn't ask a lot of questions they probably should have because they're like, Oh, it's my friend. Why wouldn't they? Why would I? I don't need to ask something like this.
Like they're like, yeah, we got it. And then they were like, man, our friend didn't tell us about this thing XYZ. So that is that's a horrible situation. I have a third option for friendship with realtor and that is to become a friends with your realtor afterwards, which we do know a couple that did that.
What do you think of that? Sounds weird. It's a little I mean, it's cool for them, but it's a little shit where you eat. Don't shit where you eat is right.
Okay, so I'm just going to know about that. I agree. And the funny thing is that we've been like, well, we've been like parties with them. They're just like, we love our realtor.
And she is like a kind of a hoot, the lady. So I get it. Is this like a close in age thing or is it not incredibly? I'm not saying someone 20 years older.
I would split the difference a little bit. It's probably like a 15 year would be my guess. But the funny thing is that she's often like, you know, like when we're over there, she's like, this apartment's already gained a lot of equity. You could, you know, three years you sell this thing, huge profit by that big house and blah, blah, blah that you want.
Like, it's weird. It still feels like a business like a long game of business transaction. I mean, I'm not here to yuck anybody's yum. They obviously like this lady because they had.
But for me, you know, she were eat. That's how I'm feeling. Weird. Yeah, that's how I feel too.
Hey, gang, I would be remiss if I didn't mention that. McGrath and I are locked in that very, very close fantasy basketball. Yeah, give him the updates dog. And McGrath is winning.
He has that fucking bum, Luke, a don'tchish line. Hey, classic. Yeah, you know, Mark Jackson has said that in the mirror about 45 times and cannot nail it. Okay, I have another category.
Okay. Amenity. Not amenities. You want if you're buying a house, I assume you're not just taking whatever the fuck you can get.
You're kind of doing some shopping. You want to look for the goodies. Yeah, for sure. So like we we found a place that didn't have laundry in unit.
It was like a condo or a townhouse or something. That's like you got it. If I own a home, if I'm going to pay a bunch of money for a horse, not, of course. You must have laundry in there.
I'm not going to the mat. I'm not going to use a laundry machine that some fucking weirdo and 4B is just he's got all his piss soaked clothes. He's washing in there every goddamn day. You know, there are some things you just cannot settle on.
Like if this is it, this is intended to be where you live out the remainder of your days. I think I think a dishwasher kind of kind of got to be in there too. Right? I agree.
It's tough because two days we know we know a lot of people you and I both know a lot of people who like they live in cities. They're also like youngish professionals. So they are buying apartments. I know a couple of different people that bought apartments in New York.
We know like the people who are friends with their realtor. They bought a like as much as I just thought shit about that realtor. She fucking they have an amazing apartment on like a top floor of a building in San Francisco. It's fucking sick as hell.
So some of that stuff you kind of like I for sure that people we know that own in New York do not have at least one of them doesn't have a dishwasher. So like that's it's tough. That's tough stuff. Oh my god.
Oh, dude. To merit sounds like owning a home in New York. Well, I think owning a home in New York. I think owning a home in any major city kind of sucks.
Like, yeah, I mean, I guess unless you're rich. That's it. Yeah, that's really it. This is a different category.
It's not the same as amenities, but it's more like reasons why it's a good idea to buy house, right? Because like I myself am like, I don't fucking want this shit, but I'm aware that there are a lot of good reasons to have one number one reason I would imagine is maybe leave it to someone or to have a piece of equity. Like the classic reasons. Yeah.
Equity. God, dude. This is being 30 and by 30, I mean 34 is horrible. I notice you didn't respond to my text about how in 16 years will be 50.
What was the deal with that? You didn't want to. What was I supposed to say? Dude, it was upset me and I don't want to respond to that.
You don't want to crack that nut, dude with me? I was having a great night last night at a party with my beloved drinking some wine, ordering some noodles and all of a sudden fucking doomsday McGrath slides into my text to remind me that in 16 years we're gonna be 50. That sucks, dude. People were about to come over to hang out with us and I was just like, damn dude, I'm so I bet you were a hoot at that party, dude.
I'm always a hoot, dude. We got the fire pit flying. Oh, amenities, dude. You got the pit dude backyard.
Oh, you be agree. I assume that backyard is. So much more important than a front yard. Yeah.
Yeah. Front yard is honestly a one. It's just something you have to fucking maintain. It's not one.
Come on. It's not one. I guess. I like a front yard.
You want to mow that thing, dude? I hate to mow. I cannot. I cannot mow.
I cannot. Oh, how about that? Man, this is like a I don't know if there's gonna be a single very quite late, but like new chores when you buy a house and one of them is like now you have to mow. You know, I mean talk about talk about where being rich comes in, dude.
Oh, yeah, get yourself a lighter people for all your chores. Oh, everyone for chores. Oh boy. Nothing wrong with that.
Pay people for hard work. You don't have to do it. Yeah, I'm gonna put landscaping it too because some people really do like to garden and shit that ain't my bag, but like they like it. I I'm gonna add one more category here and that is additional expenses because like when you buy a house, it's not you got you're not fucking buying a house, dude.
You're buying a list of other things to buy and So one of those things that I actually think is very quite lit. We had to buy only appliances when we bought our house. Not everyone has to do that. Sometimes you buy house that has like already.
It's already furnished like that But it's kind of tight being able to pick out our fridge. You know, you're gonna get to pick out a fridge. Yeah, bro I have to tell you something I have learned and maybe you experienced this to now You've also lived in California. It's not that common to just not have a fridge when you either rent or purchase a place I think this is maybe a California thing because a lot of people have been like what do you mean?
You didn't have a fridge. No dude, that is specifically an LA thing. That doesn't really happen in the Bay Area. Oh I thought oh, maybe you're right.
Didn't get a fridge. Did we have to get a fridge when we lived in Paris? Nah Yeah, it is an LA thing because I've talked to other people from LA who were like we had to buy a fridge and we like It's crazy or sometimes the land you move in and the landlord is like oh, this is a this is a You have to this is a fridge you can use but you have to buy it otherwise. I'm gonna take it and put it in one of my other units or some shit Yep, that yep, which is absolutely fucking bonkers, but okay.
I don't know where to put this. Maybe this is like oh, this is reasoning Very quite lit. Everything is yours Like the you know, I mean like the fucking everything is mine the walls do their mind technically Bank if you hold that fucking wall. Yeah, my wall dude.
I'm a smash with my freaking skull It doesn't matter. This is bonus points because it goes for your own skill set Shafts about friends Robert Lincoln and Jesse Smith proprietors of the home and Glasal Park who just continue to make little improvements and constantly Updating and building and tweaking cool ass shit So like if you're crafty and good at things like that your house can become so dope shout out to Gregor Speed fee who also does this? Yeah, I will I'm gonna put that as a new chore we think about that. That's a very quite lit chore then.
I okay I I would like build cool shit right. I would argue very pretty good because um hey you wilder. Can you build really cool shit? No, bro.
That's why I wanted to put it in a bonus point. Oh, you want a bonus point? Okay? Yes Yes, you are a craftsman is a bonus point.
I think new chores DIY is a very pretty good. Yeah, okay fine Because it's never it's never gonna go how you think yeah crafts person and then me wilder. No, I'm gonna what build a deck Yeah fucking right? So that I'll just to pull back the curtain for those who haven't I don't know how much I've talked about it on here probably a decent But we had to do a bunch of shit when we moved in so we we sort of DIY remodeled the bathroom I don't think you've said much about this at all It's fucking you think you fucking think in all your hubris and I say you and I'm addressing everyone you out there in all your hubris That you are going to be far more capable at this shit than you are and that's fine But like you hit a wall so we were like we're gonna paint because we know how to paint we could paint a fucking house No, no, yes What that's gonna take fucking five weeks if we do it whereas if a professional comes in they're gonna blast it in fucking three days We're like yeah, we can we can uh retile a bathroom Psych spend our weekend at home depot trying to figure out how to retile a bathroom before we just hired someone to do it DIY for the people like you and I it's like I can uh I could build a little bench.
That's the best that I could do I could I'll touch up paint this little I could patch a small hole, you know I have a apartment I've painted the wall before I left yeah I could spackle like a mother fuck do y'all smack attack no no problemo, but even his friend who it's so annoying He's one of those people that just like every time he tries something new he's really good at it Who's gonna go on this later when those people go straight down go to hell I'll see you there He he acquired a house during the pandemic and then it was there's a lot of problems And he was like oh I'll just go on YouTube and then just do the whole thing He just like rebuilt the bathroom and like put out literally built a deck It looks beautiful Bensha's for the deck built a also a bar in his garage a lot of people just building bars in a garage these days And he just did an amenity due to garage. We don't have one, but that is a three Yeah, garage is so sick and then you can like rent it to a level sitcom. Dave. Yeah true I want to shout out specifically our sweet friends Catherine and Patrick they just bought a home and Similar to us they bought kind of a fixer upper and Patrick is handy and Catherine might be too I don't know I can't get a read on Catherine's handiness.
Yeah, I imagine neither of them are as handy as they think they are Well, that was the beauty is that we had a good time I helped them move one of the days They were like moving their stuff over and their house is awesome They have this great view, but there's a lot of stuff that needs to be done and we had just had our painting done their house is a little bit bigger than ours and It took our professionals a week like like in and out week. They were they taped everything they spray painted whatever and Patrick God love him the boy has much a lot of things and one of them is a little bit hubris and While he was in the house doing something Catherine said Patrick thinks we could paint the house in a day and I Almost shit. I was dead. I was absolutely I was like it took real professionals in our smaller house a full week of Eight hours a day painting.
I talked to them like two weeks later, and they're like we've got two rooms But yeah, there is just an absolute you That comes with buying a house where you think finally I'll learn how to do to do plumbing or something and you're just wrong about that I'm sorry most of you are wrong and then the rest of you are additional expenses So a lot of them are obviously horrible. I feel like we can kind of put this in one thing and it's very not quite lit It's everything that your landlord used to pay for that is like people are like I hate landlords I'm right there with you baby. They stink people are like you want to own something. That's yours I'm right there with you, but dog like when our plumbing messes up It used to be so tight to call this person who I gave all my money to and be like excuse me Come on over buddy your house sucks again And they had to come over and shell out a bunch of money and I didn't have to handle any of it and now that's my big That is my big number one reason for never wanting to own a home Yeah, I the compartment complex I live in has a has a Online portal do where you submit?
I don't have to speak to someone. Yep My sink is not working and then they show up and then they fix it and it's done. Yes sweet awesome awesome. There's also along with that Hmm, I'm trying to think of where this goes maybe it's just a demerit or maybe it's an amenity.
No, it's a demerit The just the constant dread right like in when you live in an apartment or a home that somebody else owns if you throw a party and somebody I don't know sprays a bunch of confetti onto the ceiling that gets stuck there by a showering of champagne because it's a New Year's Eve party It's like that's possible. Yeah, it's possible. I hear some have done that and then they let it sit there for years And so it becomes one with the ceiling. Yeah, that's Somebody else's I mean I could give a shit about that ceiling in in the one of the new chores I guess is where I'll put this is that you constantly have to worry like oh cool.
I scraped that wall. That's my Iona I just broke something I own so that sucks. Uh-huh just a constant dread every time I get in the shower I'm like, huh Hope this isn't leaking under the house when like I never would have ever thought that what I was renting never once Would I have cared even a little bit so you had a housewarming party? Yes And that was a pleasure of experience for you Yeah, you don't like a housewarming party.
No, of course I do bro. I love a housewarming party in my house that I don't own right now I like I mean I don't want you know what the the critters loose on your home sure no I look you ever oh you've been to a party no no no This is the this is the thing when you when you spend all of the money that you make on this thing that you actually own It's the only thing you want people to see because it's the only thing yeah You can spend money on so like that having people over to be like that to be like oh wow cute little home Oh neat so much potential in the backyard boy howdy look at these window fixtures whenever the fuck like I would just be I'll be so worried someone was gonna break or ruin something now luckily. I'll get fully mad at someone I got no problem being like hey dickhead. That's mine.
You know that's not some landlords You broke my faucet so you're kind of show tomorrow and help me fix it or call a plumber. That's it Those are the options oh it is nice to make someone call a plumber call a plumber bonus point No, no, no make someone else tell me someone else to call a plumber. Oh my god bro This is what you do and don't let any of your friends here this episode Because that's the big risk you next time something breaks You just don't tell anyone then you have a party smart find someone that's a part like if the faucet's broken right you invite They can you know bing bong over and bing bong touch the faucet you go bing bong what the fuck? Goddamn I was working seconds ago call a plumber bing bong.
You know what? Honestly, you know what's diet it's related to that is a At that house when we party there were a couple of other homeowners there we were all part of the club and But not everyone there was a homeowner and Scott who was a who is one he comes out of the bathroom and he goes Hey, I'm not trying to be a snitch, but I think somebody broke your toilet and I was like this is the best We this is like a if I if it was an apartment I feel like no one would say anything and if Scott correct wasn't a homeowner He'd be like well guess toilets broken and instead he was like I got your brother everyone's still here We're gonna have to we're gonna have a lock up you're gonna look at doors We're gonna fuck broke this toilet throw those metal bars down exactly right this this just became a murder mystery party because we're gonna Find out who done it and that's now we got fucking Benoit Blanc. Oh, yeah big time big time I cut the power and then put slamed it back on just for a dramatic effect Yeah, 100% just come to my attention my plumbing has been victim of a severe injustice and I will not rest until it is set Yeah Additional expenses you've been dealing with lately well a lot of it is covered by everything the way I'm used to pay for right, but A thing in California that's they just get you they just sometimes get you and I think actually this might be other places Well, there is something and I you can't ask me to explain it because I have no idea what it is There is something called a sewer lateral and it is like the your your poopy plumbing You're plumbing where you're due to go and all your other waters and whatnot Go make us pay for it. Okay, but here's the deal that happens here, too So there so no we have to pay for it, but there's a thing that when you buy a house in California It has to be retrofitted meaning there the plight right now the pipe goes to one place and it has supposed to go to a different place That's like what it means as far as I understand it and most Houses that are like older it hasn't been done yet and when you buy the house you have to pay for it fucking insane to me And so like we didn't have to look like this house We they had already done it because they had bought this house like two years before but every other house It was like yeah, you have to pay for the sewer lateral dog That is like many thousands of dollars and you have to you have to call the water company out and they like crack the sidewalk open Into the middle of the street and connect your it's a construction project you have to pay for that you have nothing It has nothing to do with you.
It's crazy that I would have to pay for that perfect Yeah, so that the sewer lateral is a very not quite lit additional but A very pretty good Or maybe it's very quite lit I think it's very pretty good paying for like to upgrade the things in your house that you would never upgrade an apartment Such as like your sink faucet right or like your fucking door not sure like shit that you don't really care about but it's like you know What yeah, I'll upgrade I've never got to upgrade a sink faucet in my fucking life And we got a goofy we got a fucking motion sensor one dude. We're like the airport bathroom. We're out here Just fucking doing crazy shit with our faucets about windows Pretty cheap so that is obviously gonna be a very not quite lit We bought this house knowing that it needed several improvements one is all the electricity was bad in it They we couldn't even get insurance. They were like your your electrical box is essentially a bomb They don't make them anymore their band all over the world because they're just they're just you have like a little grenade strap at the Side of your house.
We also knew we had to fix a bunch of I think maybe demerits is your electrical boxes of bomb. Yeah, it's not good. Yeah, bomb in house It's not good and then one thing we knew is that we have these like Aluminum window frames with a single pane windows. We live kind of close to a highway by kind of close I mean we live underneath the highway essentially and so First of all at one point my very beautiful loving wife thought that she could replace the windows She said there's kids online you can just do it and then we learned that how hard it was just to tile a bathroom There was no fucking way we were gonna do it so we get finally around this week to getting quotes on the windows And this guy first guy we call Anderson They're the biggest window company in the world I think and they have this proprietary fucking window If you see an Anderson window it is I know a lot about windows now and it was not by choice But just take my word for it.
They're a good. They're the best window out on the streets They're made of the best material what McGrath dating profile was when you moved to New York. Yeah, correct A lot about windows. I know a lot about windows and then parentheses not by choice Let me give you the long and short of it fam this window man We scheduled an appointment at 6 30 on Friday and they said prepare for 90 minutes, which is fine Great, he'll be out of our hair at 8 and we'll go to dinner.
This man was in our home until 10 p.m. He left the 10 p.m He spent three and a half hours. I would have gotten a shotgun and killed him. Yeah, it's really truly too much It was far too much.
He started his like presentation, which honestly was such a bold move He he started his presentation comes in our house and he goes you guys might take a quick walk with me Just like a hundred feet. We're like sure he stands in front of our neighbor's house with his back to their house You see those windows see that's starting to purple That's because the gas has been released from the inside of the double pane windows There's bacteria in there eating away at the UV lighting step over here to your other neighbor's house walks in front of our other neighbor's house Just oh was just here to fucking drag your name. Yes. Yes slam dunking all over him such a while That's a premium service.
Yeah, honestly, I was like all right Stay as long as you want buddy three hours you got it if you have to come to my house to do anything Honestly, I would pay more money for you to also tell me how much better my place is than everyone else is on the street Right exactly exactly which is part of his sales pitch right? He's like you want to be better than your neighbors It's honestly genius, but He was doing the whole time we have 11 windows in our house So we're going through all the different types of windows Four hours to count to 11 we go through the whole house. He's got to measure each one We got to look inside and outside we got to talk about all the options Then he brings in samples of these windows and he's showing us here's how they slide Here's how they pop open here's how the screen comes out blah blah blah here And then he's like here's a here's a window I got it home depots probably similar to what you're the rest of the people in this neighborhood have and then he pulls out a fucking heat Gun dude, I didn't even tell you about the heat gun. Oh like a blowtorch No, like a like a like a like a like a like if you could take the lamps that rotisserie chicken sit under but turn it into like a Beam instead of like an area like drying paint.
Yes, so he pulls out one of those dryer these bastards kind of but it has like a lot of Light a blow dryer is like yeah, whatever He puts it through this like window. He's like put your hand right here. It's pretty warm. Okay.
Let me show you this one Put your hand right here. It's pretty warm pulls out the Anderson window It's fucking cool to the touch baby. Then he pulls out the opposite people's out like a freezing spray like a can of fucking I don't know dry ice or something. I have no idea splas this window says touch the other side Hell yeah, can't even tell it's cold So he's I mean he's pulling out all the stops and then folks the last stop he pulls out is the price While already knows so I can't have him guess but there's no way in fuck that he would guess no I wouldn't know I I didn't fact turn to Kate and say when you told me that I made her guess and she was her guess she guessed And she was like and she knew based on my face that it was outlandish.
Yes, and so she went high yes $10,000 incredible I called my mom and she was like obviously not right like it's not $10,000 I Call my mom it told her and she fucking screamed and my mom has a lot of money guys my mom is stepped down like they're not Like me they're not living paycheck to paycheck guys he thought when all was said and he said it was gonna be $57,000 That's that's so crazy But this is this is something caught what part of it dude. What are they made of fucking ivory? It's so nuts It's so fucking nuts Luckily an old dude from a different company came over yesterday and went around was like it's funny It's cate is still way off But this other guy was like it'll cost you 12,000 Anderson probably quoted you like 40. They were like yeah And he's like yeah, they're that's crazy.
We'll give you these windows for $12,000 That also sounds crazy to be I mean this is the thing and I don't even know how fun it is That's how the window this feels like less of a funny episode and more of a cautionary tale. No in fact more of a scary episode Yeah, this is a yeah, this one folks don't listen to before you go to bed No, the thing about owning a home is that everything costs about triple what you think it should cost so like And even that is like maybe an understatement. So like the windows bad. I already told you the door story I don't think I'm sitting on here.
It is almost shot for shot the same story I just told except for the man to sell me a new a new front door and we built in front of him the cheapest possible door We could build and he he stood for a front door for a front one front door made of like fiberglass or something I don't know not even like a solid oak door or like some fucking steel secure door $6,800 for one front door put me in a grave, baby. It sucks. I just like don't it sounds okay This is a good way to maybe wrap this all up convince me to get a house someday Okay, I can't because I can't I can move I can move whenever I want I could break I think oh my god. You never told you my security deposit in the department is a hundred and fifty dollars Yes, dude insane.
I'm not gonna are you kidding? I've scuffed up every inch of this place I'm gonna do shit about that right hundred and fifty hundred and fifty dollars. I should take the carpet with you What else are they gonna do or you take my I should take everything I should take all the pipes I should take You could probably if the cops are copper you could probably sell them make a profit actually fuck Yeah, I'll compress them into money. Maybe yeah, honestly which money is made out of copper is that penny?
It's not anymore, but it used to be and yes, you turn a copper pipe into a penny poor Wilder You you gotta just sell the copper pipe the copper is what's it's good. No dude. I don't want to turn it into a well I'll give you I'll give you some positives and we'll we'll fit them into these categories One of the new chores you have that is very quite lit and that you can't really do in an apartment is Like home improvement is tight like it's cool like right? It sucks that we have to spend so much money on something stupid like windows Right, but it's cool.
They're in there in right? What's cool is that we can we can do stuff like hey? We want to get a giant we want to get a fucking six foot cactus and put it in our front yards and like we can just do that We don't have to ask anybody for permission. Oh my god.
You're asking a landlord for permission Just about the most garbage shit you could do we know a bunch of bunk rules for what we can do with our patio Oh, yeah, cuz you guys are you guys have like a oh additional expenses very not quite late. I don't have it But homeowners fees psych dude, but yeah, you you have you have to live by somebody else's laws dude I make my own laws over here. We're fucking doing a bunch of work without permits, dude. We don't care about any rules over here Yeah, that's cool Yeah, bonus points blatant disregard for rules is Cool, there's no another like bonus here, which is kind of goes with that is like and maybe this is amenity you are Number one authority when you're in an apartment or even like a rented house somebody can come over to your door and knock on your door and say Hey, you guys are being too loud or hey, I'm gonna you guys gotta keep it down Yeah, nobody doing that over here dude like if they do you say get off my land.
Yeah, you're exactly right You say go ahead and scream go get won't get and they gotta get yeah, so you're doing land bro You are the law. I think is worth the amenities Yeah, that's kind of the best most one you could have yeah reasoning Start a family is like a two to me. That's actually maybe a one. I can't start a family expensive buying a house expensive Doing both at the same time seems not impossible Yes, so as far as far as that starting a family is a one to me not the actual activity But the reason that you're buying a house is to start a family is not great What a reason to people buy houses You get your equity everything is your world try to figure out here.
I know I mean look It's like it's an investment I guess to sell it and make money that's equity, but like yeah, that's it though That's it I mean the thing is is that these reasons are massive like I'm not lighting my The stupid money that I paid my stupid mortgage every month is going towards a thing that I get to own and not towards some Dick I hate landlords dude. I hate them and it's so tight that I got to cut them out of my life I mean that is sick But yeah, I mean another reasoning, but it's probably a one brag you get to tell people you think I don't always tell people It's like anytime now. It's funny. It's like people used to ask like where do you live?
I just say like oh living Alameda now when people ask where do you live? I say oh just bought a house in everyville you just slip it in you just slip it right in no you gotta let them know You gotta let them I didn't buy it to not let people know what are we talking about here? I don't know what to say. Yeah, we did we did a lot.
I mean we didn't actually do that much if I'm being honest I spent about 10 minutes telling that story about the window man I mean that was the whole reason I thought we should do this episode because that is yeah, yeah It is it's horrible. I mean new chores. I could toss a couple things else in here just real quick new chores dealing with contractors dude is a one Like having to call having to talk to a construction worker and electrician a plumber these people who are good at what they do or not And know a lot more than me for sure and they're like like the plumbers kept doing this We've had these plumbers in here about goddamn trillion times and they love to be like hey Do you want to come take a look at it? What am I gonna say dog?
It's pipes in my wall? I have no idea what I would say other than looks cool. I said looks cool to pipes for a sink What am I supposed to see I don't know oh? Hell yeah, dude.
That's sick. You did that whoa. Yeah sick pipe dude. Dude.
You guys are just out here doing it's crazy The electrician same thing. You just like flipping the lights which on and on like here's how this one works Yeah, dude. That's how it should work though, right? Like what what else I say?
Additional expenses we buy a shed that's a two. I mean, it's like cool stuff to put in there But like I don't want to I wish shed is cool dude. A shed is like pretty spooky and usually has something nasty in it Yeah, but now I get all my I got all my little tricks and treats in there Don't I where you put your holiday decorations probably cram into the closet well daddy has a shed that's nice and cold We got cobwebs in it. Yeah shed.
I guess shed for the storage is real noise Yeah, I love not having to keep that was like that is like the one of the most crappy shit's about having an apartment It's just like everything even your stuff that probably should live outside like camping gear has to live inside You don't have an outside. So that's my truck of my car. I'm my car is my shed dude. That's a bad shed I would say this is a great shed.
Oh great shabby says interesting. It's not inside. What you got? You got in there?
What you got in that shed boy? Am I in my car shed? Oh, dude. Yeah, I Got more I got more than you'd expect you got sleeping bags.
What are you on in there camping? I know sleeping bags stay inside. I got can jam. I got camping chairs.
I got bowling shoes. I got a few books I'm just guys and bowling shoes. What the hell? Yeah, I got my bowling shoes in there.
I'm gonna wear them in the house Yeah, good call. I guess not not entirely but you know I got a wallace and grommet bobblehead baby I got all kinds of reusable grocery shopping bags baby. That's my I think there's a tiny stuffed animal penguin in there somewhere New chores dude having neighbors when you own a place is just a different bowl of fruit, isn't it? Oh, yeah, I mean we but like you you could hate your neighbors or love them you live in an apartment It's temporary the very worst case scenario is we'll just move that is not that is a non non option for me You got delightful neighbors, right?
Some of them are I can't speak too much on it because they're we don't have our new soundproof windows yet So I could be fucking selling myself down the river, but uh, we do got this one kugu bird She I don't know she could hurry she has your eyes nears everywhere because she has an army of stray cats that she feeds But sure yeah, she's she fucking stinks on ice. I she um like to look at that work of spies. Yeah for sure I mean they're all they always be in our backyard our Worthless ass dog doesn't do a damn thing about it just stares at Oh, it's stupid idiot One time Chelsea heard a noise and she thought so was trying to break into our house It turns out the neighbor had a person on our roof standing on our roof walking on our roof to fix what side of her house and Oh, bro Chelsea came out and was shocked. She was in the middle of a meeting so then I texted her because we have a number I said hey Just so you know we don't wouldn't love for you to have people on our roof anymore on account of it's an old roof And we don't want anybody to get hurt and she said when you buy a new house They're supposed to replace the roof which is wrong first of all second of all here You think I had a new room on what the matter at hand.
Yeah, I would say new roof even less So I want your your lackey up there fucking exactly it's new roof get the fuck off Yeah, you you must be wild. She said well our houses are too close together She actually kept saying your house is too close to mine, which is like I didn't Built in 1911. I don't I didn't put this shit here But but she said in order to do work if I can't get on your roof I have to get a bucket truck and I'm not gonna do that and I said well it sounds like you should probably do that because we don't Want anybody on our roof anymore? So that's how that's going that's one of many stories of the person that was she needs to get on your roof She'll like fucking fix the site She has like this old Victorian house that probably she could probably sell for like a million dollars She also doesn't live there.
This is the other bonk thing her cats her army of cats and spies and one big dog live in this Giant house by themselves and she comes by every couple of days to like toss some food and have people on our roof Wait, she has two houses. Yes, man. Yes, man. I bet both are but this one's just for the animals What'd she do for a living I nothing I think she I suspect I think reasons for buying a house a One is to fill it with animals that you can't fit in your own house fill it animal house feral creatures It's it's an animal like I would not like someone on my roof and I would not take kindly to it And I think that I can't you Harm people when they're on your property.
Yeah, there's a there's a I'm telling you man It's a big get you don't you got a baseball you got a bat go ahead and toss yourself some start your target practice Someone's on your fucking roof for sure. Yeah, it's just an endless brush She caught me the other day she showed she rolled up to do her little check in at like 6 45 a.m And I was on my way to work, you know I was getting to the car and I saw her little check in she has to pop in to get her little check in for her home for her animal house Oh, oh, I thought you meant into your house. No No, although she has she did ring our doorbell one time at 9 p.m. And asked if we had seen one of her cats dog There's like 15 of them and none of them got a collar and she was like have you seen Freddie and we like Oh She did her little pop at 6 45 a.m.
She was like hey y'all have to work. That's cute. That's where I go at 6 45 a.m On a Wednesday dude, then she started asking me stuff talking to me. I said I really got to go anyway She's just a it's a challenging Experience and she probably doesn't buy a house.
Yeah, go by it. Yeah, go by it Yeah, it's by by it and then and then spend more than you did putting money down on the house buying windows and make sure you live next to an army of catsbyes Definitely and then you've got yourself a stew going as they say and That's all I have to say about this because I don't have any experience Yeah, so you don't want to is it is it you're you fully no all jokes aside? You're not interested in doing this No, I would obviously love I would that would be nice. Oh, you do.
Okay. I don't I don't see it in the cards for myself in a place I want to live so I'll probably maybe I'll grab a couple of little side projects other places, you know I'm saying but if I have to continue wanting to live in a major city like I do I don't know if that's on the table Yeah, I mean the move yeah, I don't have a spare a million dollars dude I know it fucking stinks fucking Asheville now. There's a house on our street. That's all for a million dollars a million It's great a million is it's million crazy We know people almost everyone I know that has bought a house has paid that and I'm just like mm-hmm We bought a dump because we could only afford half that and then we put a bunch of repairs on a credit card It's basically was our strategy so for all my other bro-comies out there.
That's the move by a by a kind of crappy old house a hundred-year-old haunted home And then max out your credit card fixing the plumbing and whatnot Sure, and then you have a good happy life absolute of stress and anxiety Yeah, but it is it is it's obviously sick as fuck to I mean I got a fire pit dude I'm just out the backyard my dang fire pit if that's not worth it. I don't know what it's yeah I mean yeah, that's that's it then thank you to say we just go thank you to Rhode Island You got some roadies I got the roadies boy Texas Florida Georgia and then well hell yeah Shout out to bad Todd for the music shout out to Adam Faye for the art shout out to all my new homeowners And all those who can't afford to be a homeowner. It's fine dude. You're if you own a home good for you man That's awesome such an accomplishment if you don't don't sweat it.
You're not missing a whole lot I mean it's like highs and lows baby peaks of valleys, but shout out to all you yeah And you know if unless unless you're Mickey Mouse probably can't afford to buy a house