Calling Off My Divorce: How I Saved My Marriage With Jen Vertanen

In this episode of The Art of Imperfect Adulting, Amy Stone speaks with guest Jen Vertanen to unpack the raw story of calling off a divorce at the 11th hour. Jen shares what led her to the breaking point in her second marriage, the self-discoveries that followed, and how she spent the next decade rebuilding her sense of self from the inside out. Their conversation covers the complexities of adult relationships, healing childhood wounds, and finding joy and authenticity in midlife.About the Guest:Jen Vertanen is a coach, speaker, and founder of We The Unruly. Jen Vertanen is an expert guide for impatiently restless folks who are tired of waiting for 'someday'.Drawing from her own journey of transformation, Jen helps mission-driven people rediscover their spark, vision their future selves, and create lives filled with adventure, meaning, and joy.Main Topics Covered:Navigating loneliness, resentment, and self-blame in marriageThe decision and process of calling off a divorce (and telling the kids)Breaking cycles of trauma and learning self-compassionRebuilding identity after crisis: kindness, autonomy, and becoming “the sparkly human” you want to beThe realities vs. narratives about marriage, happiness, and self-fulfillmentApproaching partnership repair and growth as a teamJen’s coaching work and unruly communityQuote from the Episode:"My heart finally started talking louder than my ego... and it was like, you don't want this, you don't want this, you're making a huge mistake."Timestamps:00:00:06 – Introductions, Jen’s self-care ritual, and discussing the fun of reading smut00:03:44 – Setting the scene: Jen’s backstory, blended family, and her first marriage00:06:16 – What led Jen to consider divorce: childhood, resentment, and craving autonomy00:15:53 – The “dark night of the soul”: telling her daughter, sleeplessness, and calling off the divorce00:24:22 – The decade of rebuilding: self-mothering, trying kindness, and conscious reinvention00:31:42 – Repairing a relationship: shared effort, conflict styles, and couples counseling00:35:28 – Jen’s work with We The Unruly and her offer for listeners00:37:52 – Rapid fire questions: favorite color, first job, and dream destinationsConnect with Jen Vertanen:Website: WeTheUnruly.comInsta: https://www.instagram.com/we.the.unruly/Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@we.the.unrulySpecial offer for the audience:FREE 30-minute “Get Out of Your Own Damn Way” call: wetheunruly.com/30-min-coachingNever Miss a Moment of Imperfect AdultingWe invite you to join our email community and let us bring the podcast directly to you! As a subscriber, you'll receive notifications about new episodes, exclusive offers from our amazing guests, and easier access to any of the important links mentioned on the show—no more scrambling to write down websites or remember special codes.Why subscribe?Stay up-to-date without checking your podcast appGet guest offers delivered straight to your inboxAccess all important links in one convenient placeCatch the highlights even when you don't have time to listenAre you ready? Join us at https://www.imperfectadulting.com If you love the show and you'd like to support it directly you can tip the host here https://imperfect-adulting.captivate.fm/supportHere are a few resources that Amy uses to make all this great content. These are affiliate links :-)For livestreaming and recording ECamm https://www.ecamm.com/mac/ecammlive/?fp_ref=amy69Podcast hosting and distribution: Captivate FM https://www.captivate.fm/signup?ref=ntczmwi Website hosting with Siteground https://www.siteground.com/?referrer_id=9115590Ai Transcription Tool: Castmagic https://get.castmagic.io/ugrmjjrt8ofjFor Email I recently switched to Beehiiv https://www.beehiiv.com?via=Amy-Stonebefore that I used Kit. Books I like and books written by show guests on Bookshop.org https://bookshop.org/lists/podcast-guest-authorsIf you have a story to share and you'd like to be a guest on The Art of Imperfect Adulting, here are the steps for how you can make that happen. Pitch yourself at https://www.imperfectadulting.com/be-a-guest