Campfire Scarytales: Submission 1: Never Touch Another Match Scratchers Matchstick! (Crooked Stick Magic Trick/In Over His Head Raising the Dead); (Magician's Assistant/Sorcerer's Apprentice)

Like Blake and his leper colony in John Carpenter's THE FOG, By Campfire, We Conspire-   Tonight it is a plant stem masquerading as a wand stick, THAT'S the magic trick and The Acolytes Aren't Allright!   Good Evening, Match Scratchers!   Welcome to CAMPFIRE SCARYTALES!   "When midnight chimes, we both will meet, Podcasting slick, sick tales to scare; Master your fear, stoke dying heat-- Embrace the coal's glowing orange glare." Falsetto, No Mr. accent on the to.  If you once enjoyed, still enjoy or will enjoy henceforth, and in perpetuity, Nickelodeon's very own Are You Afraid of the Dark? broadcast that terrified tot and teen alike in the early 90's, then you will feel right at home on the forsaken rocks, atop the speaker's  stone throne while occupying temporary, nocturnal space in this chillingly convenient clearing where fellow match scratchers meet to pour tales of terror upon an open flame. These terrifying testimonies are far from tame, the most unnerving, unsettling and upsetting scarytale wins the game and striking matches, along with striking deeply into your core fear gland, proves their aim. If you're soon too frightened or anxious to sleep, if you intend to scream but can nary muster a peep, if your once spry movements retard to a lumbering creep, in becoming a slave to your fears, you have but yourself to blame.   We are the Match Scratchers, this is Campfire Scarytales and with each new rendezvous a fresh tale, upon the torturous pyre, will grimace and flail…if you've prepared a lie, if you spin a false tale on the sly, then you've come here to die…   Between midnight and first light we meet, our appetites prepped for delicious tales of fright, in your own unease, crawling skin, tingled spine and sweaty brow we take delight, it will be hours before you can see anything beyond our proximal campfire light, our weekly night light!   How will we present this concomitant Campfire Scarytales series in tandem with the original show? We have selected 26 episodes, our very favorite, the most horrifying and satisfying, the most ferocious meant to cause you something hovering the space between neurosis and psychosis, and we have paired these, two at a time, into complementary unions, for a grand total of 13, inauspicious number fucking 13, two-part episodes. I know you will find our pairings apt and suitably spooky and spectacular, Match Scratchers.    Today, you are tricked or treated, depending on your point of voodoo with our premiere submission tale of terror. Between midnight and first light, strike a match and, a new batch of dismaying, fears and anxieties not allaying, tales hatch; the goal is to, the last told tale, outmatch and leave the loser, to the victor, begging for a rematch…with that Match Scratchers, sleep deeply and remember to, your bedroom window, latch.   Podcasted for the Auditory Approval of the Match Scratch Society, by our communal campfire, we conspire and whisper, through the mic, our fireside submission, sometime between midnight and first light of Campfire Scarytales: Submission 1: Never Touch Another Match Scratchers Matchstick! (Crooked Stick Magic Trick/In Over His Head Raising the Dead); (Magician's Assistant/Sorcerer's Apprentice). Your host: That's Falsetto, No Mr. accent on the to and co-host: Dr. Red Devil with a REH REH REH   Until next time, Match Scratchers!   Remember, only you can prevent forest fires, call out Campfire Scarytale imposters and disloyal match scratcher liars!   (Procrastinated Statement) *Intro/outro song, Surrender, courtesy of the artist, Asher Fulero, with a medley of sound effects added for, you guessed it, effect.