Chapter 9: My Secret – Death Could Be a Solution

This is the chapter I almost didn't record. It's something I have never told anyone, not even my therapist. In the late summer of 2022, the weight of my marriage got so heavy that my mind went to a dark place I'm still ashamed of. In this chapter, I talk honestly about the thoughts that overwhelm can put in your head, the guilt that comes with them, and the moment everything shifted when I realized how much I stood to lose. If you've ever carried a thought you couldn't say out loud, you are not alone, and you are not a monster. This chapter deals with the weight of abuse, dark intrusive thoughts, and a partner's suicidality. If you or someone you love is in crisis, there is help. If there is immediate danger, call 911. In the US, you can call or text 988 anytime to reach the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline. The National Domestic Violence Hotline is available 24/7 at 1-800-799-7233, or text START to 88788. If there is immediate danger, call 911.