PODCAST · society
He Blamed It On Me
by Jamie
He Blamed It on Me is one person's unfiltered account of living inside, leaving, and recovering from a marriage that went from amazing to emotionally abusive in a single conversation. Part personal story, part survival guide, this podcast is for survivors, for people still in it, and for anyone trying to understand emotional abuse.
Episodes
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Chapter 10: He Got Better. I Fell Apart
For months, I held everything together. I protected my husband, I managed our home, and I told almost no one what was really happening, because I'm the problem solver, and I didn't want to be a bother. Then he started to get better. And that's exactly when I fell apart. In this chapter, I talk...
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Is the Most Dangerous Time Really After You Leave?
They say the most dangerous time for an abuse victim is after they leave. For me, that turned out to be true. In this episode, I tell the story of the night I sat at my own kitchen table and genuinely wondered if I would still be alive when the police arrived. My ex never once laid a hand on me…
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Chapter 9: My Secret – Death Could Be a Solution
This is the chapter I almost didn't record. It's something I have never told anyone, not even my therapist. In the late summer of 2022, the weight of my marriage got so heavy that my mind went to a dark place I'm still ashamed of. In this chapter, I talk honestly about the thoughts that overwhelm...
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Why Do I Feel Like an Exhausted Single Mom When I'm Married?
You're exhausted. Everything lands on your plate. You've got a hundred tabs open in your brain and nobody to hand a single one to. You feel like a single parent, except you're married. In this episode, I talk about over-functioning. What it is, how it quietly becomes your whole life, and the loop...
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Chapter 8: When the Planner Stops Planning
I am a planner. Give me a passing mention of a vacation, and I'll have a list of hotels and things to do by the next morning. But in the summer and fall of 2022, I stopped. No trips, no plans, nothing to look forward to. I told myself I was just busy. The truth was that the future had gotten too...
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What To Do When Your Abusive Partner Is Struggling Mentally
How do you support someone who is struggling when that same person is your abuser? The honest, heavy truth about where love ends and abuse begins. For a long time, I told myself that if I just poured enough into my husband, he would get better, and I would finally get what I needed back. What I...
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Chapter 7: That's Not Normal - Becoming Suicidal
Content warning: this episode talks openly about suicide, suicidal thoughts, and moments of emotional and physical aggression. Please take care of yourself while you listen. If you are struggling, you are not alone, and there are people ready to help. This is one of the hardest chapters of my…
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Why Didn't You Just Leave Your Emotionally Abusive Marriage?
Why didn't you just leave? It's the question almost every abuse victim gets, and it's one I've had to sit with myself. In this episode, I get honest about why I stayed in a marriage that turned abusive: the fifteen good years I wasn't ready to throw away, the gaslighting that had me doubting my…
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Chapter 6: I Know it's Not Right, but…
This is the chapter where I started changing my behavior, not because I did anything wrong, but because I was exhausted from the consequences of living my normal life. I evaluated every invitation. I memorized every guest list. I prepared for the interrogation before I walked back through my own...
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Why do I feel like everything is my fault in my relationship?
You said sorry before you even knew what you did. Somewhere along the way, "it's my fault" stopped being a conclusion and became your default setting. This episode is about the blame dynamic: what happens when one person is the permanent defendant and the other is never on trial. His bad day…
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Chapter 5 - It's Me, I'm The Problem. But Am I Really?
The next few months had one thing in common: somehow, it was always my fault. A natural reaction. A missed sentence. A chair facing the wrong direction. No matter how carefully I moved through my own life, it was never enough. This chapter ends at a funeral, sitting next to my husband while he…
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You're Not Imagining It. Finding a Therapist Really Is This Hard
If you've ever tried to find a therapist and felt like the system was working against you, it kind of is. In this episode, we dig into the real numbers behind America's mental health care crisis: the shortage, the cost, the wait times, and why so many people who need help aren't getting it.…
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Chapter 4: Getting Him Help
What do you do when you finally have an answer but no idea what to do with it? In this chapter, I'm holding everything together by calming the kids, talking him down from leaving, and convincing my husband he needed help. I watched him navigate the mental health industry that was causing him more...
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Can Someone Love You and Still Hurt You?
Can someone love you and still hurt you? It's not a simple yes or no answer. In this episode, we break down the difference between hurt that comes from mistakes and hurt that comes from control, and why loving someone deeply can make it almost impossible to see the difference when you're in it....
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Chapter 3: The Night Everything Changed – Just Not for the Better
For weeks I kept calling it a rough patch. This is the night I couldn't anymore. It started with something small and good, a gathering with people I'd missed, and it ended somewhere I never saw coming. For fifteen years I'd had one reliable power in our marriage. That night, for the first time…
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Is Gaslighting Emotional Abuse?
In my marriage, saying the word "gaslighting" didn't start a conversation; it ended one. If you've ever wondered whether what's happening to you is gaslighting or been told you're using the word wrong, this episode is for you. We're talking about what gaslighting really is, what it isn't, and why...
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Chapter 2 - Let the Gaslighting Begin
After one conversation changed everything, the weeks that followed were a slow unraveling. Every day brought a new accusation, a new reason to doubt myself, and a new version of me I didn't recognize. I thought I was a dedicated, loyal, trustworthy person, until someone I loved convinced me I...
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Chapter 1: May 19th 2022
On our 15th dating anniversary, I sat across from my husband at a coffee shop and told him something completely honest: that a man had hit on me the night before, and I'd said no. What I got back was an accusation of having an affair. This is the episode where the story begins, and where I first...
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Welcome to He Blamed It On Me
Welcome to He Blamed It On Me. This podcast is my unfiltered story of living inside, leaving, and recovering from a marriage that went from amazing to abusive in one conversation. In this episode you'll hear why I am starting this podcast and what you can expect. Learn more at KayllianCollective.com
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ABOUT THIS SHOW
He Blamed It on Me is one person's unfiltered account of living inside, leaving, and recovering from a marriage that went from amazing to emotionally abusive in a single conversation. Part personal story, part survival guide, this podcast is for survivors, for people still in it, and for anyone trying to understand emotional abuse.
HOSTED BY
Jamie
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Frequently Asked Questions
How many episodes does He Blamed It On Me have?
He Blamed It On Me currently has 19 episodes available on PodParley. New episodes are automatically indexed when they're published to the podcast feed.
What is He Blamed It On Me about?
He Blamed It on Me is one person's unfiltered account of living inside, leaving, and recovering from a marriage that went from amazing to emotionally abusive in a single conversation. Part personal story, part survival guide, this podcast is for survivors, for people still in it, and for anyone...
How often does He Blamed It On Me release new episodes?
He Blamed It On Me has 19 episodes. Check the episode list to see recent publication dates and frequency.
Where can I listen to He Blamed It On Me?
You can listen to He Blamed It On Me on PodParley by clicking any episode. We provide an embedded audio player for direct listening, and you can also subscribe via your preferred podcast app using the RSS feed.
Who hosts He Blamed It On Me?
He Blamed It On Me is created and hosted by Jamie.
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