Choose your fears wisely - A Poem by Ershad Alamgir

A poem on the idea of "Freedom" by Ershad Alamgir.Ershad Alamgir talks about his ideas of freedom through a poem he had written on the occasion of the 50th anniversary of the independence of Bangladesh.The whole poem stresses the idea of freedom achieved on an individual level and which is independent of the societal norms of success, the ideas of right or wrong and being aware of one's self-worth which is different from the ideas of self-esteem which is dependent on external validation, social positions, accomplishments which can easily go up or down based on our acquisition of new skills or further achievements but can also be hit hard as soon as those conditions are removed. But self-worth is not about comparing ourselves to others rather it's the sense that we deserve to be loved and cared for, we deserve to take space and has nothing to what we can be or have more or less of. which is independent of the societal norms of success, the ideas of right or wrong and being aware of one's self-worth which is different from the ideas of self-esteem which is dependent on external validation, social positions, accomplishments which can easily go up or down based on our acquisition of new skills or further achievements but can also be hit hard as soon as those conditions are removed. But self-worth is not about comparing ourselves to others rather it's the sense that we deserve to be loved and cared for, we deserve to take space and has nothing to do with what we can be or have more or less of. Unconditional self-worth is the antidote to low self-worth, self-criticism and shame, depression, anxiety and even substance abuse. It can lead us to the road of freedom by freeing ourselves of the fear of rejection from society for not following its norms, ideals of success and as being one of the members of the clan.   We can do amazing things in life by finding our self-worth and by achieving our freedom in the true sense of the term if we can put these 4 ideas into practice in our lives-1) Forgive ourselves- Forgive ourselves for all past mistakes and stop treating ourselves badly for the same. Acceptance relieves us from the tendencies of blaming ourselves and others for our own failures in life.  Acknowledge the pain and appreciate what we have learnt.2) Practice self-acceptance- We constantly get messages from all around, directly or indirectly, that we need to change our bodies, clothes, jobs and we start feeling like a failure for not finding ourselves matching those criteria. We need to look after ourselves not because someone said so but because it would help us to be happy, healthy and as a result, we will find peace of mind and calm our always on mind.So, it's important to focus on the things we like about ourselves embracing our quirks be it our awkward laugh or the crooked smile or our unusual ways of thinking about things. Through self-acceptance, we acknowledge that we are worthy just the way we are.3) Be there for ourselves when life gets rough- Many of us abandon ourselves during times of challenge. We engage in harsh self-criticism forgetting what we need the most is to talk to ourselves in a comforting voice saying " I see you and I know how badly you are hurting and I am here for us"4) Connect to supportive people- Low self-worth often makes us feel isolated and alone because connecting to others and asking for help may make us feel vulnerable and that's a primordial mode when our mind switches to its defensive mode. But by connecting to supportive people, we get in touch with our own humanity and sense of self-worth.It takes courage to free ourselves from the conditions we place on our worth but on the other side, there always lies our true freedom.