Communication Strategies That Build Real Connection After 50

You're sitting across from a potential client or a new acquaintence at a networking meeting when they make the most casual invitation: "So, tell me about yourself." And your mind goes blank. Not because you lack accomplishments. Not because your life hasn't been full, complex, and worth talking about. But because somewhere along the way, you stopped knowing how to answer that question without listing your roles, your résumé, or what you do for others. Dr. Dianne Olvera has spent decades studying why so many people, especially women who've spent years filling a variety of supportive roles, struggle to define themselves in midlife. What she's discovered and shares during our interview will make you rethink everything about how you communicate with others AND yourself. Show Notes | Transcript This episode is about reclaiming your voice that has gotten buried under decades of being told what to do, how to respond, and who to be. Dianne shares the subtle communication patterns that either drain your energy or fill your cup. And why the words you use (and the ones used on you) have shaped your reality more than you may have realized. You'll discover: Why self-awareness isn't selfish, and how asking yourself simple questions can rebuild confidence that external achievements never could The eye contact technique that shifts power dynamics instantly, whether you're dealing with a difficult person or standing up for yourself How the words you heard as a child are still running the show in your business, your relationships, and your internal dialogue Why "people become our words" and how to use this knowledge to transform the way you show up for clients, partners, and yourself The generalist vs. specialist framework that will help you stop butting heads with people who drive you crazy and start leveraging their strengths instead How to have empathetic conversations with teens (or anyone, really) that don't devolve into lectures or door-slamming by flipping the script on who does the talking Dianne doesn't deal in spiritual bypassing or toxic positivity. She's spent years as a diplomat navigating volatile conversations with controversial figures, raised a family across continents, and built a practice helping everyone from toddlers to executives learn how to define themselves, instead of being defined by others. If you've ever walked away from a conversation feeling smaller or caught yourself apologizing for emotions you have every right to feel, this episode might just be the permission slip you didn't know you needed to start speaking differently. To yourself, first and then, to everyone else. Resources: Join the Soulful Women's Network: https://www.facebook.com/groups/soulfulwomensnetwork Receive daily inspirational email messages: bit.ly/LoveLightNotes Need support? Go to engagewithgloria.com to schedule a call. Connect with Dianne Website: drdianneolvera.com Book: "The Power of Connection: Understanding Individual Differences to Uplift and Empower" Connect with Live Love Engage: Send Gloria Grace a message ☕ Support the podcast ❤ Love this episode? Leave us a review and rating LinkedIn: Gloria Grace Rand Facebook: Gloria Grace Rand YouTube: Gloria Grace Rand TRANSCRIPT Communication Strategies That Build Real Connection After 50 Full Episode Transcript Introduction: Why Some Conversations Energize While Others Drain Us Gloria Grace Namaste. Have you ever wondered why some conversations leave you energized while others drain your spirit completely? Well, today we are diving into the incredible power of connection that can actually transform your business relationships and personal relationships and maybe, maybe even in the process, bring some more abundance into your life. But first, I do want to welcome you to Live Love Engage. If this is your first time joining us, I am Gloria Grace, founder of Align to Shine Academy, and I empower women over 50 to step into their highest potential with clarity and confidence. And joining us in just a moment is Dr. Diane Olvera, and she is an amazing lady. She's an educator, an author, an expert in empowered education whose work was shaped by years of living in Argentina and Mexico during political and economic instability. And she's got a book called the Power of Connection, Understanding Individual Differences to uplift and empower. And it combines over four decades of personal experience with scholarly insight, providing practical tools for fostering more meaningful and effective relationships. And I know we can all use some of that. So without further ado, I'm going to bring her up and welcome you officially to Live Love Engage. Oh, good grief. I cannot hear you all of a sudden. That is strange. Oh, there we go. Dr. Dianne Olvera Thank you. It's pleasure to be here. From Stewardess to Diplomat: Dr. Olvera's Journey Gloria Grace Well, I am happy to have you here. And I. Yeah, you know, going over some of your bio, you certainly have led an interesting life. And I'm curious to know what actually first sparked your interest in really studying the power of connection and communication. Dr. Dianne Olvera Well, I moved to Argentina. I married an Argentine. I was a stewardess with TWA. And he that marriage didn't work out, but I stayed because we had a son. And then I was also teaching at the American School, and I met this lovely man who was a diplomat, and we both became diplomats for the American Embassy. And I had an opportunity to meet people in very high places that were sometimes very controversial. And I just couldn't understand how on one side they could be doing very devious acts, and on the other side, they could be speaking to me, and I could be completely blown over by how wonderful they were. So when we completed our work, I also needed to use a lot of my new strategies with these people because sometimes you did have some controversial issues that needed to be discussed. And the only way that we could do that would be to be very honest and open with each other. And there were times that you had to really maintain your integrity. So after we left Argentina, then we went to Mexico and became diplomats there, and they were having an economic crisis and so when you're a diplomat, you meet people from all over the world, and that's how. I don't know if you've seen, you know, Netflix the Diplomat, but it's. It's a way that we can create companionship and friendship across lines, and sometimes we may need each other in the future. So there, again, that involved a lot of important conversations that sometimes could be very volatile. Overcoming a Strict Upbringing to Find Better Communication Methods So when I got back to the States, you know, I came from a family where we were very. They were very strict, and we weren't allowed to talk. I got soaked behind my front teeth. If I answered back, I got the belt, I got the whip. So I finally said, there's got to be a way that we can learn to connect with anyone and be able to do justice and empower them and help these people be able to feel that they are worthy of our interactions. And so I spent the next 12 years in graduate school. I got a couple doctorates in bilingual special education and cultural differences. And I used much of my time after graduation to teaching college students. But then I also had a private practice, and that's where I developed my strategies on how anyone, from the most neurodiverse to the most gifted to the youngest, let's say two years old up to my age and more, how we could learn to talk with each other. It literally improved my marriage. My husband and I had a child. He was in middle school, and it improved our relationship with him. He is now an adult, and he uses it all the time in his work with his family. It's very powerful. And what he said to me the other day is, mom, this is very subtle. You don't know. People don't realize what you're doing. But you are able to literally turn relationships around just by the power of how you speak with them and how you look at them, how you use your body language. The Modern Communication Crisis: Why We're Not Listening Gloria Grace Wow, that's a really good thing to have. And I tell you, it's so important. Seems like even more these days where we've got so many. We're so caught up in indifferences and not listening to one another and not just wanting to, you know, everybody wants to be heard. We all want to be seen and want to be heard, but we don't necessarily then want to extend that to the other person because they feel the same way. And we can't be able to have a good, you know, communication if we're not willing to listen and let them be seen and heard as well. Dr. Dianne Olvera Yes. The Power of Eye Contact: A Diplomat's Secret Weapon Gloria Grace I want to get into your strategies in a moment, but I wonder if you could share with us first maybe a story about a time when effective communication really transformed a challenging situation. Dr. Dianne Olvera Oh boy, there have been so many. One time as a diplomat I was taken aside by someone and they're always testing you to see if how vulnerable you are to receive and to provide information. And I was very uncomfortable. And so I as this person spoke with me I lowered my eyes and then when the moment was right I raised my eyes. I looked him straight in the eye and I said we're done here. And I walked away. And I realized after going to graduate school that our eyes have power. And so I mean I use it all the time. I use it in my graduate classes. It was funny because one day I actually I was teaching a law class and one of my students was providing some very interesting information and I was listening to him and then I looked him straight in the eye and I said tell me more. And he just apologized. I am so sorry. And I said why are you sorry? I want to know more. ...