Comprehensive Hygiene

There is not a food on earth that I expect to fulfill all my nutritional needsMuch less satiate me permanentlyThere is no shampoo so powerful that I’ll never need to use shampoo againAnd there’s no clarity, on any subject, that means I’ll never need to address it again with my belovedsWhy, then, do I keep thinking ‘this spiritual practice should clean up all the remaining debris”“This mental practice will conquer this long-held pattern forevermore”Or“This emotional clarity will erase the original wound”My conditioning on ‘arriving’ is so strongThat even a lifetime of experience disproving ‘arrival’In every categoryStill gets overlookedI get disappointed when I need to meet a challenge I thought I’d already met adequatelyAs if participation, refinement and renewalWere admonishment instead of opportunityStill, part of me wants to be ‘done’ and wants to be done through one effective toolSighEven the washing machine has to go in circles for quite some time to get the clothes cleanOne round won’t do itThe truth is, I love my practicesI just wish I didn’t NEED themAnd I do need themI need meditation as much as I need to brush my teethAnd am quantumly better to talk to after bothI need relational witnessing as much as I need exerciseAnd feel invigorated and alive after bothI need creative expression as much as I need foodAnd feel delight in process and restful satisfaction after bothHygiene is an ongoing process not because yesterday’s efforts were insufficientBut because that is how living systems workI want to tell my children I love them over and over, in new waysLast year’s love is insufficient to describe the depth at which they delight me todayI don’t take that kind of repetition as a problemI like what it grows intoJust like I like the way my teeth feel after the dentistOr I like the way our house looks right before we have companyI like the way I feel when I’m inhabiting my whole self with compassion and curiosityThese may not be permanent states, which is sometimes frustratingBut coming back around to them sure feels good This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit fallingtenderly.substack.com