Coping with an Inconsistent or Alcoholic Parent: Guidance for the Parent Who’s There

Ask Rachel anythingWhen the other parent is inconsistent, or never turns up for your kid, it can be incredibly challenging for both of you. It's hard enough as it is, but can be even more challenging when they are abusing a substance, such as alcohol or drugs. When a listener told us about the difficulty she has parenting a teen son whose absent dad is an alcoholic we thought it was an important subject, and one worthy of discussion. So how do we support a tween or teen in this position? What do we say to them? How do we help them with the feelings they might be having? The National Association for Children of Alcoholics suggests using this mantra:I didn’t cause itI can’t cure itI can’t control itI can care for myself by communicating my feelings, making healthy choices, and by celebrating myself.BACK TO SCHOOL ISSUES:https://www.teenagersuntangled.com/parenting-tips-34-bunking-wagging-hooky-skiving-or-school-refusal-whatever-you-call-it-too-many-teens-are-doing-it-but-why/https://www.teenagersuntangled.com/parenting-tips-14-how-to-help-your-teen-with-anxiety-and-how-to-set-rules-that-your-teens-will-follow/https://www.teenagersuntangled.com/anxiety-how-to-help-your-teen-with-anxiety-according-to-renee-mill-senior-clinical-pscychologist/ https://www.teenagersuntangled.com/parenting-tips-5-how-do-you-motivate-a-teenager-who-isnt-very-academic-what-to-do-when-your-teenager-says-they-want-to-give-up-their-musical-instrument-or-other-activity/Support:The National Association for Children of Alcoholics https://nacoa.org.uk/https://allthingssimplywindy.com/how-to-deal-with-an-absent-dad/https://www.weinbergerlawgroup.com/blog/newjersey-child-parenting-issues/help-children-handle-unreliable-parent/https://www.empoweringparents.com/article/helping-a-child-cope-with-an-absent-parent/https://fathers.com/blog/consistency/what-consistency-looks-like-in-a-dad-5-keys/https://elisabettafranzoso.com/articles/types-of-damaging-fathers-how-they-influence-who-we-arehttps://www.verywellfamily.com/how-to-talk-to-children-about-absentee-fathers-2997224https://www.wikihow.com/Help-a-Child-Cope-with-a-No%E2%80%90Show-Parenthttps://wehavekids.com/family-relationships/When-Daddy-Dont-Love-Their-Daughters-What-Happens-to-Women-Whose-Fathers-Werent-There-for-Themhttps://www.joincake.com/blog/death-of-a-father-I-never-knew/https://www.lipstickalley.com/threads/my-sons-father-is-inconsistent.4623629/https://www.therecoveryvillage.com/alcohol-abuse/explaining-alcoholism-child/https://www.parentingforbrain.com/parental-rejection/https://www.riversidecounsellingservice.co.uk/2020/06/09/absent-father-identity-issues/Support the showPlease hit the follow button if you like the podcast, and share it with anyone who might benefit. You can review us on Apple podcasts by going to the show page, scrolling down to the bottom where you can click on a star then you can leave your message. Please don't hesitate to seek the advice of a specialist if you're not coping. There's no shame in reaching out for support. When you look after yourself your entire family benefits.Find all the tips from the episdoe on Substack: My emailMy website has a blog, searchable episodes, and ways to contact meInstagramFacebookYou can reach Susie at www.amindful-life.co.uk