Crossing Your Personal Yam Suf

When Yosef told his brothers that their descendants would one day be redeemed from Mitzrayim , he added that they should make sure that they take his bones with them when they leave. The sefer Tiferet L'Moshe writes, it seems from the way the pasuk is written that there is a connection between the redemption and Yosef's bones. He brings from the sefer Milo HaOmer who explains the connection as follows: When the Jewish People were almost at the end of that geula, trapped at the Yam Suf with the Mitzrim chasing them, there was a midat hadin upon them, saying that because they were still worshiping idols, they should not merit to be saved miraculously and have the sea split for them. The Midrash says, it was because of the zechut of Yosef's aron that the sea ended us splitting, as it says הים ראה וינוס – the sea saw and then it split. What did it see? Arono shel Yosef . Which means, Yosef had seen in ruach hakodesh that in order to complete the geula , his bones were necessary to be there to split the sea. And that is why he told his brothers to make sure their descendants take his bones with him when they leave Mitzrayim . What was the zechut of Yosef more than the other Shevatim ? After all, all of their aronot were at the Yam Suf as well. The Milo HaOmer explained, as great as a person is, if he has any averah , the midat hadin may prevent blessing or miracles from coming to him due to that averah. However, if a person is מעביר על מידותיו – he forgives others who wronged him, that overrides the midat hadin . Therefore, even if he has a sin, he'll still be helped. Because Yosef overlooked what his brothers did to him and forgave them with a whole heart, his bones were able to be the catalyst to save the entire nation and bring about their geula shelema . This is a lesson not just for what happened at Yam Suf , but it can be applied for any circumstance that a person finds himself in when in need of a yeshua . We don't always remember all of the avonot that we have to be able to make teshuva for them, and we hope eventually we will make teshuva for every avon . But if someone is standing by his own personal Yam Suf , feeling trapped with difficulties, one of the greatest things he can do is to be מעביר על מידותיו and forgive someone who wronged him. That can override any midat hadin that might be upon him. Recently, I related this chiddush to a group of people and shared the story of a man who had a life filled with difficulty. In his words, he always carried around with him a grudge against someone. It consumed his life. When he was finally able to forgive that person, his entire life changed for the better. A man in the crowd told me the following day that he became very inspired and made peace that night with a relative of his who he hadn't been speaking to for over two years. As hard as it was, he called the relative and apologized for not being on speaking terms. And then the relative apologized for what he did to him. The man told me he felt so good about ending that dispute. Another man told me, he became inspired to forgive but he couldn't think of anybody that he needed to forgive. That night in his dream, he recalled someone who wronged him years before and he still felt animosity towards him. He thanked Hashem the next morning for the reminder and was able to forgive that person. Forgiving people is wondrous. If we sincerely want to be at peace with everyone, but we are unsure of who we need to forgive or who we need to ask forgiveness from, we should pray to Hashem and ask for His help to remind us. And if we need the strength to be able to forgive, we should ask Hashem for help with that too.