Dating Experiment Apprehension

Having a tough time with the autistic portion of my brain. I sometimes would love to have a handler so I can check out for the day. Learned about the fuck zone and how this will affect how I have a need to have a good sexual connection first before I want anything more. I can feel my avoidant side wanting to run. Compartmentalizing, if I am leaning and learning to love and accept my whole self why wouldn't I want to share that; see and be seen. I was married to a sexless "friendship". Maybe the autism will get in the way.