Hello, listen, hello. I'm sat here with the... Well, actually, by the time you hear this, there'll be newlywets. Ah!
Ah! Ah! I'm gonna go... Oh, I'm gonna go.
I'm gonna go. There was a reaction. There it is. It's Tom McGrath in India, Farad.
Are you changing names? Yes. I am. Yeah, I'll be in the end of the graph.
Tom will do his beat. Tom Farad. You don't have the same name you're just gonna swap. We're just swapping families.
There's no other marriage, is right? That's why when people say you're marrying up, it's that you're claiming someone else's birthright. LAUGHTER It's like Leap Frog. Yes.
LAUGHTER That's what I need to do. Yeah. I'll be Tom McGrath still. Just to clarify.
We don't have to change the intro anymore. No, no, yeah. I'll be in the end of the graph. Yeah, and if people could just exclusive me, refer to me as India, or of India.
I was like, for... Of Tom. Oh, fuck. I fucked up that joke.
LAUGHTER I'm like a shit, I'm a shit for me. The headphones were out of the way. LAUGHTER I was very confident in saying, wait, obviously that doesn't make any sense. If you're doing the handmaid's tangle.
What about we call you, off Tom? Which is like off-com, but for Tom. LAUGHTER Someone, you're a fucking body, you're a regular. The regulator.
Yeah. The Tom. The national Tom regulator. Oh, if I could regulate the Tom.
There's a fact that no one can do. I'm like gearing up a jingle up a... Yeah, that's my impression. There is definitely a hand machine.
The hand machine. I am a Elon Musk to the Tom. Not just pushing up the max. LAUGHTER Yeah, why do you do something more stupid?
LAUGHTER That's the Elon Musk effect, not the yet. Why don't you do something more stupid? I'm Elon. As always, class by class.
Tim wants bullying me all the time. I'm an evil person. We're about to do something silly. And that is the way Mr.
and Mrs. Fitch Black has. Which someone would argue that that's already been happening for the entire year. But yeah, it's going to be...
I don't know. Mr and Mrs. Implies that we're going to have to find something... You're going to have to like, we'll be quizzed on each other.
That's not going to happen. We're just going to be making a movie that the past the bar is the other person has to want to see that movie. Nice. Yeah, you're going to take stock of each other's...
This is going to be tough because the only films you like are like... Legally blonde. LAUGHTER I say films were all just legally blonde, right? Tom, you know what?
You've got to work with that. So, Reese Witherspoon. She's a white... No matter what it's called.
You know what it's called? It's called... Yes, Mr Biscuits. Reese Witherspoon.
She's a lot of student. But forget that. You've never been on the show before. No, I'm trapped.
You've never listened to the show before either. I listened once. I don't know. The best ones in the podcast.
Yes. So, even though I haven't even given a chance. You have and you liked it so little. No, I know.
That's not like that. It's not like I was stalking my own partner. Just walking around, listening to you talk to a friend. I was like, this is what we're doing.
I can imagine that is weird. It's almost like surveillance, isn't it, I guess? I'm not the whole, I'm completely even. It does seem like the more people see others, the less they listen to the podcast.
Yes, yes. But because being around us is like just being a part of the podcast. So, what we're going to do now is just to warm up. I mean, you two met through improv, that's right.
Yes. And so, it is weird that you haven't been on the podcast already. We talked about it like a while ago, but never came about. Didn't come to pass.
No, didn't come to pass. But now there's a good excuse for it. Yeah, it's a real moment. I'm excited to be here.
Be a symbolic. I'm just nervous for Tom, really. You were saying this. You were saying this.
You were anticipating that you're going to get a text from me afterwards. Would you mind if you're telling Tom that you're going to be the new co-host? Because I wasn't expecting you to be so good at pitching. Here we are.
I'm braced for the friction it causes in your relationship. My future in the podcast. I am anticipating that and welcoming it as well. Finally, a break.
So, what we're going to do is warm up given that you haven't. Right. Me and Tom usually do the thing that you've already heard, which is we did a competitive pitch, which is basically, you know, one person takes charge over the pitch, really directs the where it's going. And everyone else just sort of helps out or just slags off the choices.
But given that you haven't done it like so at all yet, we figured we should do a speed round. I've written down a bunch of random titles that I was bragging earlier that I'm faster doing. You should have listened to this. Matt was like, I'm really good at writing titles now.
I'm faster writing titles. I don't know what's going on. Oh, fast. Yeah.
I don't know about these titles. I think these titles are good. They're bad titles. Anyway, so we're just going to collaboratively altogether pitch.
It doesn't need to be more than a couple of sentences if you like, just to get through this quick round. Yeah, quick round. There are eight here. Let's see how we get on with conga conscience.
The man who invented the conga has remorse about stealing the idea from a cat. What? From a cat. Did he see like two cats just sort of following each other or something or more than like a bunch of cats?
It's like the bit in Mary Poppins when it's called Toon People. Right. Right. He thought, oh man, I've been on a sort of vision quest.
I've been, this is my inspiration calling to me. Yeah. Like my creativity has taken the form of an animated cat who is talking to me, has given me the idea of a conga. I'll go and sell that on.
It's a Disney movie. Later on, he sees an animated cat in the gutter like I can't believe he stole. Matt, give me that. And this, that's just loads of really depressing gal, allie cats doing the conga.
He's, he just really regrets saying his lawyers on them and the whole thing just gets really sad. And he's like a weird mixture of aristocrats and the social network. Yeah. Yeah.
Music by Nine Inch Nails. But the animated cat is just like a tracing of Thomas O'Malley. The aristocrats. You know how they did like Jungle Book and Robin Hood of the same animations?
It's like that. Yeah, use all the same animations. Yeah. But just make it sad.
It's a dig van dyke. The inventory. Oh yeah. It's an old man.
I mean, we have a, who would be if you would take, if you would take a cast, someone who's a young dig van dyke. It'd be Disney. So you'd have old man dyke with the faces of young man dyke van dyke. Okay.
Next one. That's about as long as these go. Next one. Crash magnet.
Crash magnet. This is someone who really wants to be an old fashioned traffic warden. That's what they used to love with the gestures. Yeah, yeah.
Go on all the way. And they love their job so much, but then they are involved in a scientific experiment gone wrong and they become a magnet. Massive electromagnet. So when they're waving their hands, the car's just crashing.
It's someone who gains the power of Magneto. Magneto implies control over metal. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They do.
It's just that they don't know how to do it. Yeah, it's seemingly just car just raving into them. It's not hurting them, but it is causing trauma to everyone in fault. I like to think it's the main character actually, Feeder Waller Bridge and there's sort of flea bag energy, which Tom, if you ever seen for a bag you know about.
I'm just like, you know, the breaking the fourth wall looking to camera intense and seeing them over the back of the car. It had never been number four. She invented it. It was incredible.
That's not my joke. That's not my joke. That's Joey's joke. She invented the fourth wall of Brains.
Okay, next one. Marco stole my gym shorts. Sorry, I forgot you were giving us a title. You thought I was just reporting it.
Yeah, yeah. You were about to get the title. You were like shit, Marco stole my gym shorts. No, no, I didn't do that.
This is like a high school thing, right? Yeah, yeah. Magic shorts. Okay.
Like the pick of destiny. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They give these gym shorts, these gym shorts, sorry, give special power to basically like the film Flubber, yeah, to play basketball like you've got Flubber on your trip. You ever seen Flubber?
No. No. So there's a very gratuitous scene in Flubber where he puts Flubber onto all these basketball people, strangers, and they are bouncing around all over the place. I can't ask them.
That's what he doesn't know what to do because it was all against jumping too high. Yeah. All over against jumping too high. I think he says, game on.
So yeah, I think it's like a magic pair of gym shorts. Okay. Maybe there's a film like Mike where Michael Jordan's trainers give special powers to play basketball really well. Little bow wows got these trainers.
That's true. Yeah. Yeah. Breathed out of you as though.
It's remembering a past. Yeah, it was bringing forth a memory with a long hence. And yeah, I think the gym shorts are stolen by Marco. Yeah.
Who's Marco? He's a straight up evil. Just a straight up evil. Skeletor.
Yeah, but that's cool. He's just like, Marco Skeletor. Yeah. It's a nice one dimensional villain.
He's, Marco's a fascist. Yeah. It's like, is it like, not like a neo-nazi, but like a Mussolini fascist? Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah. Mussolini fascist. What's the difference time? Would you say the key difference between neo-nazi fascist and a Mussolini fascist?
Yeah. He's like, he's like a, he's a Skeletor with feathers and he knows how to smile. He's still evil. He's like a, he's like a country fascist.
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. He's serving.
Serving while, while stealing. No, no, he's just, he's dunking. He's not serving. It's tense.
Very good. I'm, I'm just like, I'm rooting for Marco. What? He's not legitimately a fascist.
He's just very fascist. Oh, no, he is. Oh, then I'm not. Yeah.
Which is where the, like, like, hang on. This is. It's not too late to call the whole thing off. Yeah.
Siding with a fascist. I mean- I think it's going to do it. Yeah. Siding with a fictitious fascist that I've just come up with.
If, like, if India hadn't seen the Star Wars movies and then watched the Star Wars movies and then went, yeah. It was a sad ending, there wasn't it? Do you think, like, you know, with changing anything, you were, like, like, like, siding with a fictional fascist, you know? Sad ending when the, when the, when the empire was destroyed.
You know? Yeah. Because- All that order gone. Everyone looked so happy in Coruscans.
Do you think the emperor has a very organized universe? Yeah. Yeah. I- I can also say.
He made the space trains run on time. You've both seen Season 2 of M All Right. A lot of that is about space trains running on time. Next title.
Pink Windball and the Cree E.P. Costume. Oh, come on. It's sort of a Donnie Darko take.
That's that. It's the film Donnie Darko. That's the movie. The character is Irving called Donnie Darko.
It's Pink Windball. And it's just Donnie Darko. Really obviously Photoshop just pink. We get Jake John Holter just redo all the bits.
And then we throw a shopping in. It's pretty pink. All around me are familiar faces. Pink faces.
It's going to make that very, very, turn into a big snake through time. Like, you know, it's going to make that a lot more vivid. It's going to be bright pink and then leaving a trail behind. Donnie Darko was a film I've not thought about for about maybe ten years.
I think that's about as much thought as it needs. But the other day, what went wrong really stayed Donnie Darko episode. I listened to that. So this is the second time this week Donnie Darko has been in my life.
Maybe it's Jew or rewatch. Maybe it's Tari watch that hated it. So maybe now we need to do a commentary on that. Alright, next one.
Jack the gas giant killer. I thought someone like that one. Yeah, that's a good one. That's a good one because there's a terrible movie called Jack the Giant Slayer or something like that.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, it's just a very terrible Jack the Giant killer. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Jack, like, Jack of the Beanstalk.
Jack of the Beanstalk is one of the stories of Jack the Giant killer. Oh, Jack the Giant killer. Oh, Jack the Giant killer. Yeah, yeah.
A lot of old, old English folk tales about Jack the Giant Slayer. Who just like not kidding. Just fucking hate giants. Yeah, no other reason.
Giant giants are in no stories are just known to be evil. Like they're just known to just, well, you see a giant, you just kill it. That's just what you do. That's just what Jack does.
Andre the Giant from, imagine. From the brides, the Princess Bride. Yeah, the prides Princess. The big man from the Princess Bride.
Oh, yeah, he's lovely though. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just a ziggler salt going round with an axe.
He's an untriller giant. This is a jubator. Yeah, okay. So like Jupiter and so on and so on.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, that's what I wrote it for, but you don't have to take that bit. You can be like, oh, he just fights a lot. Well, this is the thing.
I think it's a modern take on Jack the Giant Slayer. So, yeah, go on. Jack goes to market. Yeah.
And by that, I mean the stock market. Wait, wait, wait, hang on. I think he does go to market in the olden days. Yeah.
Right. Because I think that's a before the title. After the title sequence, we cut to the stock market. Like say, right?
Yeah. And there is an initiative from a private company to get to Jupiter. Yeah. By building a massive space elevator.
Yeah. And it's like, why are you putting money into, why are you investing in stocks in a space company? You know that's going to go nowhere. The money is going to put it in housing.
What's this space company, Jack Inc. What's going on here? And I think that what happens is like whoever this is, because Nicholas Holley is going to be in this movie, not this person, right? Okay.
Whoever is going on, whoever's invested there, their life savings are all their inheritance into this company. So he gets a ticket on the space elevator with the first ticket to get to Jupiter and then realises that Nicholas Holley was Jack at market who planted the beanstalk hundreds and hundreds of dollars a year ago. Oh. Right.
He's at some point, he found a way to stay immortal and he hasn't been able to find any, because he killed all the giants. He's not found a single giant until he learned about Jupiter. He climbed so high. They were like interstellar.
Yeah. For him, it was only an hour. Yeah. But for us, it was hundreds of years.
He said, you know, to get good enough that he could have a man. Yeah. He could have a man, a mission to Jupiter, so he could kill that too. Because he's just been, he just been up there just throwing leaves at it and spitting it in there.
Yeah. Like the last 10 minutes of it is Sephiros, Last Attack from the pentaset, which I don't know, you probably don't know, but it's a game in which it's a turn based attack system. One of the attacks lasts 10 minutes. Yeah.
And it's cast multiple times in this end battle. Each time you have to watch this animation of a comic going past all of the weapons in Solar System. And each one is named just to let you know that it's going past Jupiter, past that, and it's that, essentially, like that is what Nicholas Holt does. Nicholas Holt is Sephiroth in this situation.
Yeah, yeah, that's it, yeah. There you go. Jack the giant killer. Next title, Do Do Couldn't Cop.
I'm getting onto my immediate pingu energy. Yeah. It's like a really lovely pingu, kind of Lambefort time vibe. Wait, what?
Pingu is set in the past. The pingu is instead the dinosaur. It's just a lot of like, you know, it's a lovely little dodo, dodo but who makes the sounds of pingu. And they're just very stressed out and they're friends going to quest and it all comes good.
It's a rare impression that I do. Pingu as well, Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's it. It's just Pingoo, everyone's no nose. Um, not coop.
Like, most Pingoo granonations, Pingoo just can't cope with it. Just can't cope with it. Yeah, I can't cope with my life. That's the vibe Pingoo gives up.
I like the script of Pingoo being like, I can't cope with modern life. It's like a child who's just been introduced to the idea of making a collage. And he's like, I can't cope with modern life. Now Pingoo, you've got to look after your younger sister.
Why do I have to look after my younger sister? I can't cope with modern life. The world has become worse since I started having to formulate around on my own. When my mother was wheeling me around into preemble later, life was better then.
I was fed regularly every time I made noise with my mouth. There we go. Wow. Next one.
Victory at Dorkers Hill. Oh, this is like a historical world war epic, right? Victory at Dorkers Hill. It's a World War One film, but everyone in it's an idiot.
Yeah, yeah. They're all Dorkers. Yeah, they're all Dorkers. They're all just Morum.
Oh, no. Everyone there lied on their, on their, um, medical or whatever. They're all like, they're all absolutely deweed. It's like Blackout of goes forth, but everyone's melted.
Oh, yes, George. Yes, the draft is happening. Yeah. They all sign up to a scheme.
It's like this, they're like, they're like, they also have to a scheme that's like supposed to be kind of a shady draft dodging thing. Because they've all got reasons they don't want to join the army. And instead of that, the paperwork gets mixed up. They're getting to set center this one, one like, uh, fortress one in placement.
It's kind of like, being the disaster movie. As in like, all commanders, like, oh, all these idiots have signed up. Let's put them in charge of this hill. There's nowhere near the front.
And yet, they all just kill each other by accident in ridiculous ways. Well, yeah, maybe it's like, um, they put them on a lost course. They put them on a hill that they know is taken by the, by the, by the baddies. Okay.
It's going to get taken by the Nazis in no time. It's an unwinnable situation. We're just putting on there to just because they can fodder, they're going to be able to get it killed. We know that.
Like, they probably even know that it's a hopeless assignment. But they all, they fail up. Yeah. It's all about us as fail up.
I think of it like a sort of foolish American home alone in war. Yeah. As the Germans are running towards them, two of them having a fight, one of them accidentally kicks a barrel. Boom.
It's all about that. Hey, I'm going to solve this tree now. I'm going to be on a mighty firewood. And just like, it crushes a bunch of the dancing Germans.
It just takes the bridge out. The world of tanks going across the pages. What you've been doing Barney? A dug a big hole.
Looks like a jogging a hole. The hole has no purpose. He's made a punty pit. The real nerds in Halo are ends up saving them from the mustard gas.
This is definitely one of those movies that's like the early noughties, Will Ferrell, Ben Stiller, Owen Gelssoe, that kind of thing. I was thinking like 70s era almost like Carry On Style, but like all cooperatives. National Lampoon. Yeah, yeah.
You can either or really go either. Just a couple more. We've got Cool Ranch Doritos or a myth. I love your humble rag about how great this is.
I'd love to see these. These have decreased in quality. Our own pictures launch was it. Cool Doritos ranch dressing as a myth.
Cool Ranch Doritos or a myth. It's... True statement. Next film.
It's a great title. Cool Ranch Doritos or a myth. You haven't seen that. It's such a mentorship.
It's such a mentorship. It's such a journalism. Oh, yeah, it's like Louis Theroux. A branch into the world of film.
And the whole thing's just really poorly judged. So Michael Moore's really, really dropped off. In the UK we have Cool Original Doritos, but there's no areas that word ranch on them. Oh no, because we don't know what a ranch is.
We don't know what a ranch is. We call them farms. So I think that Cool Ranch Doritos or a myth because I think America is fictional. Oh, that's a wider conspiracy.
That's just the opening act of this documentary. It just unravels like a Netflix series. It's like, oh my god, maybe America doesn't exist. It's agaking.
Yeah. And finally, we've got Scrimp and Shave. This is one of those films set in a hairdresser. You know, one of those.
Well-known films. This is set in a hairdresser. It's also definitely a Lin-Manuel Miranda musical. Oh, yeah, yeah.
Definitely, yeah. It's basically just the salon from in the Heights. We don't move from the salon, but it's also like a men's hairdresser because they're all getting a lot of fun. Yeah.
And it's all about all the people coming in and their different stories and it's all wrapped. Yeah. You know, it's a bit as a few bars, indeed. Here we go.
All right. How does a ragtag hairdresser in the club find a way to... That's it. I got a bottle of bread to do much time.
You do want to come on? Lin! You're like in the room. Spout the applause.
Which one is it? No. I actually know how it's so well that I would like to be permissioned to record a separate verse and submit it afterwards. I got the whole soundtrack spinning in my head around.
Did I? You know the people of Patreon wanted. You know they do. Yeah.
Okay. So, yeah. In the Heights, it's all about small business owners. Yeah.
Sure. He did one about hairdressers. Scrimpering shave. Yeah.
But that's all the fast-paced titles. Yeah. Nice. For indulging my consistently good titles.
Not one dud. Not one dud in any of those. There's still quite a few there from significantly successful movies that are currently in development. I mean, we know that.
But yeah. When you start seeing this, as we always say, when these start being made, remember who pitched it. Yeah. That's what we say.
Marvel's dodo can't cope with the impulse. Marvel's dodo can't cope. A really scraping battle. What was your favourite?
Oh. Was it conga conscience? Flash magnet? Marco stole my gym shorts with the fascist one.
Was it with it pimple and the creepy costume? It got like a jasmine. Just a die-dunk coat with it. Jack the gas giant killer with it dodo couldn't cope.
Victory at Daugus Hill, cool ranch doritos are a myth or a scrimpen shave. Let us know in the comments. Let us know. Yes.
I think the one that's probably most likely to get made is Victory at Daugus Hill. That seems like something that's definitely could get a World War I, World War II, Ben still a comedy surprise that I didn't get made. Yeah. Oh, dodo couldn't cope.
I mean, hands out. Who doesn't want more ping it with that? Who doesn't want more ping it with that? It's your voice back.
It's your voice back. But maybe not even here. But it's just like, it's just like, it's just like, it's just like, it doesn't write it. It doesn't monologue.
And then we animate Pingu as if Pingu were saying Bernadette's Hugs like, but we never hear Bernadette's Hugs like. Bernadette's Hugs like, and Pingu have an incredible bust up. Yeah. It's a production of that.
Like, that Pingu wants to absolutely murder Bernadette's Hugs by the end of that movie. Yeah, there we go. Well, thank you for listening everyone. And we'll catch you on the other side of the wedding gap.
Hello. I just want to say thank you for listening to the latter pitch deleted scenes. We hope you've enjoyed it. If you have, maybe consider sharing it with your friends on social media by word of mouth.
Anyway, maybe put it onto a thumb drive and just throw it at someone. And maybe even reviewing it on wherever you've got it. If you find it, swear on iTunes or any cash or whatever. Maybe review it there.
Five stars. Thumbs up. Give everyone the heads up. Like I said before, thank you.
Cheers. Right.