Listen as his eye right around the host of Tom's other podcast Radio Go. Here to let you know that we're doing our first live episode of Radio Go. If you're in the Sheffield area, then on Sunday, March 29th, you can come and watch me, be an idiot, around several other people. There's going to be sketches, there's going to be songs, there's going to be improv, it's going to be fantastic.
You can get all the info over at Radio Go.show. Now, on to your regularly scheduled episode of Life's a Bitch. So, um, Simon Newton's given us, uh, I can only pronounce it as, well, I'll get to the pronunciation, but it's written, Glubber. Glubber.
So, GH L U B B E R. Glubber. Yeah. A lot of this joke works better written down.
Okay. I'm going to preface that. So, it's pronounced Flubber, but due to the possible copyright infringement, so the original Flubber film, it's the title is spelt Glubber. Oh, like, um, at the end of Tuff, you can make it.
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You can make UGH into Tuff.
Yeah. So, using the GH sound as in enough or Tuff. Yeah. The film follows Inspector Flubber, who goes around solving and unsolved murder mysteries in the quiet fictional town of Buscock Up on Home.
Okay. Yep. Annoyingly, the film title is often mispronounced Plubber as in hiccup or hiccup spelt H I C C O U G H. So, a lot of people being, Plubber.
Yeah. Which is a total gain in the ass. You see what I mean by most of this works written now. It's very much worth it now.
Interestingly, every letter F in the movie script was replaced with GH to ensure continuity. What a good. Oh, wow. Yeah.
What a faff apparently, but it's written GHH GH. So thank you for that one, Sam. That was a lot of fun. We do a murder mystery murder mystery.
This week. Should I have watched Awakened Deceased? Hello. Awakened Deceased?
Hello. Awakened Deceased? Probably not. No.
Okay. I've seen it. I mean, it's just another Benoit Blanc movie. I'm really looking forward to it.
I'm not planning it at this point. But it's on Netflix. It's on Netflix. Yeah.
I think it came out for like two weeks at cinema. Yeah. And I missed it and then just watched it on Netflix. I went to see Glaston units in the mountain house.
I enjoyed it. Yeah. And then I've never watched it on Netflix. Yeah.
So it like, it's very much backfired on them. Yes. Yeah. It is a movie that I have not, I want to see but have not yet seen because it's locked behind their fucking stupid stuff.
Oh, yeah. Fucking out. I would have paid 15 pounds for a cinematic hit. Right.
Rather than what is it, seven, eight quid for a month of Spotify. Something like that. With standard definition presumably. Yeah.
People are going to be fucking torrenting against it. Like probably. It's mad. But yeah.
So I've seen it. Very good. Yeah. Recommend.
Recommend Joshua Connor, who's in it. Yeah. Really good. It seems to be everywhere nowadays.
Like literally the moment I saw that was like, oh, he's in every phrase. Like he pops up in the trailer for the new Spielberg movie. He's in like a film with what's his name from Gladiet to he's in all like loads of shit. And I'm just like, I've never heard of this man before.
I've never heard of this man before wake up. No man. Apparently challengers was the one who was like, Oh, yeah. This is this guy's good kind of thing.
Speaking of who done it. And also the words like, who is this guy? Yeah. Have you seen the teaser trailer for Louis through his monastery?
Documentary. Wow. It's just full of clips of people going like, Louis the Rous. Who is this Louis the route?
I was like an American pronouncing Loughborough. Yeah. It's just like clips of people saying, who is this guy? And then and then doing it in impression.
Louis the road. And then Louis the road going like, do I sound like that? I sound like this. I don't know why Louis through is from the black country.
But I do I sound like this. Maybe a little bit. Oh, speaking of the atmosphere, right? My YouTube algorithm's been fucking smashing me hard over the head.
Red pill content. Good Lord. Like, you know how like this podcast we do is ultimately pointless. It's basically just like all podcasts, like all podcasts, exactly, exactly.
However, I believe we are well aware that our podcast doesn't mean anything. And like it's, I like to think that it's more than just two friends, Chan. We have an awareness that the listener is in the room. Yes.
Yeah. There's a lot of podcasts, which I think there was an advert for like Google Gemini or something or whatever fucking AI they use where a podcast guy was going, Oh, what topic should we talk about this week, Gemini? And I was like, what is the point in you having a podcast? Yeah, if you don't have anything to say if you don't, if you're going in with nothing.
Hey, Gaffleton. I am well aware of the hypocrisy of all this. I mean, the thing is we are sentinels on that wall. Yeah, you know, we're sentinels on the wall of going into the podcast with nothing.
We live here. Are the very edge of what's acceptable of what acceptable non-preface. Yeah, yeah, acceptable non-preface in like we have a format in which we ask people like we the prep is, the prep is we're doing a genre every week. We're also pitching movies.
These podcasts, more fuckers are going in. Just like, what are we going to talk about this week? Who knows? We're just going to have a chat and people are going to listen.
I'm just going to let Gemini decide what I talk about. Yeah, exactly. And it's it's fucking bonkers. But I've going off the back of this.
Yeah, I've been pushed loads of content from this random fucking podcast. I forget what it's called. But it's basically just a load of women in a room with a guy. Oh, you're talking about loose women?
No, no, it's the opposite of loose women. It's like men. It's like men. It's like men.
No, I can't. Fuck. It's just basically I just get recommended a load of shorts. Yeah.
And the headline sometimes grabbed me. It's clickbait shit. Sure. I watched it.
I've watched maybe four or five of these videos now every fucking day on YouTube is recommending a video. I hate it. It's the same with the Jubilee shit. Have you seen that?
No, where it's like, and it's I have the same point to make with the Jubilee stuff as well. You've probably seen it clipped where it's like one person who kind of knows something is a good debate versus 50 versus like, yeah, 20 50 something. Yeah, people who don't know. I only know the Growshouse stuff.
They're taking the make out of that. Yes. Yeah. It's looking right for parody because it's such a fucking stupid idea.
The problem I have with all of this content, the women and the guys. Yeah. It's fucking baffling it. I'm not going to look at it.
I don't care. But you've probably seen it. Really in the guys. It's like other women.
Charlie's angels. It wants to be that. Maybe who knows the guy on it wants to be that. It's just a bunch of people.
It's a bunch of idiots. Yeah. Talking. It makes me resent the fact that media mass media has become so democratized.
You know what I mean? We're part of it. We're part of it. We're part of it.
And to be fair, right? If we didn't have this to be put out somewhere, we'd probably be doing it. Yeah. We'd probably be recording it just for us.
Yeah. Something like that. Just for future generations to look back and say, Oh, what were they doing? Or in the 2010s?
Or we probably would have done a little bit more work and pitched it to a local radio station. Yeah, something like that. Yeah. The fact that a lot of shit on YouTube gets watched and has found an audience and it's not been vetted.
Yeah. Is the problem. Yeah. Yeah.
Absolutely. It's not even just it's not be vetted. It's like that it's not even content that is supposed to appeal to us, the audience. Yeah.
It has to appeal to, okay, this is inaccurate phrasing, but like it has to appeal to the algorithm, which is not to say that it people had this theory a while back. But like, you know, if you make a certain face in your thumbnail, they called it soy face on the internet. Face was it? Oh, just like open mouth.
You're in the middle of a John Lithgow impression. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
We were surprised, right? That would somehow the Google algorithm saw that and put it higher up in the algorithm. Yeah. But like, that wasn't happening.
What was happening is kids are just we like are we're hardwired, especially children to like respond to highly expressive faces. Yeah. So like, that's why Mr. Beeth is so popular because his highly expressive face.
He's stuck in a high expression face. His face is paralyzed in a vague smile. I've seen, have you seen the bus ads? Yeah.
I've seen the bus ads. It's horrifying. It's so, it feels like, well, I mean, there's a lot, the lot now that feels like we're in a dystopian future that that is one of the key mark. I don't like to come in.
I mean, I mean, I do a bit, like I've certainly got priors for commenting on people's appearances. You know, like, listen, I like the human fridge freezer, but he doesn't look like one. He doesn't want to have a drunk. Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Great actor.
Yeah. And, you know, a hunk, a hunk, a hunk, a junkie junkie junkie junkie junkie. He's a hunk of me. But he has a human fridge freezer ever since he took his top off on Star Wars.
But like, I want for one birthday or something. I really want to get you like a, like a Kylo Ren like mug stick on the top of a mini fridge or something. Just a face. Yeah.
Yeah. Just like, just my head. Please Tom, don't. I've got no space in the house.
The, like, Mr. Beast, I think like his something about like, I don't know whether it is, I don't know whether it's like, um, because I think surgery. Yeah. I don't know whether it's just a facey pulse.
I've never seen an emotion. I've never seen them in pictures. Yeah. I know the facey pulse with photos.
I know whether it's his normal face. Yeah. I don't know whether that is like a carefully targeted my face must be like this for my promotion stuff. Whatever is, it's like he was generated by AI.
Right. In his uncanny. He's haunting. And the fact that you know, he's a real person, he's just like, what happened?
What happened to you? Like the sparkle? You know, in the thing, the whole specular lighting thing where like, you know, you didn't know about it until the Blu-ray came out, right? Yeah.
Because where they'd be people who weren't like, you know, the things they had, specular light just behind the camera. So it reflects off their, their, their, their, like, I don't mean by runner. They have that as well. Yeah.
Cool. Whereas people who had got that, that light is gone. Well, that light is gone with Mr. Beast, isn't it?
Like there's no, no specular lighting there. Imagine if Mr. Beast was in the thing and the specular lighting, even the right word. I don't know, but you know what I mean?
But the camera's panning across the people in the Antarctic pace. Yeah. And it just gets to Mr. Beast.
Keras was like, it's him. It's him. It's him. And then they just kill Mr.
Beast. Yeah. It turns out it wasn't him, but it was like clearly there's somewhere wrong with that guy. Clearly that guy's screaming for death.
Great concept for who, who don't it? Yes. I just want to say that the podcast I talked about again, the name escapes me, but it's just a bunch of a bunch of women who, a bunch of women and a guy, maybe two guys who knows who think they know shit. Yeah.
And listening to them talk, yeah, I feel myself getting stupid. And it's shit like that that's caused all these problems. Yeah. Like it's just people just like going down a rabbit hole.
Yeah. I mean, I'm well known, confidently saying something I don't know about. Yeah. Exactly.
It's important. It's important to me. Not only do people tell me when I'm wrong, but secondly, it's very much more important to me that my voice only has a certain reach. Yeah.
Yeah. Exactly. Same. But also with this, he's really focused.
It's just sort of like people watching that. And that's all they're seeing over the world. And it's just absolute nonsense. I'm just like, this would have never made it onto TV.
Yeah. Like, and again, not even the democratization of the TV of like media, it's just taking like more than five channels. Yeah. That's ruined media.
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. 24-hour news, making people depressed.
I mean, democratization of media is fine, I think, because like, there's genres of music now that wouldn't have existed outside of like, you know, just standard, you know, four radio channels. Well, this is the difference between art and content, isn't it? Well, this is it. Like, what it is, it's nothing to do with democratization.
It's very, very, very much to do with who is selecting what gets put into our eyeballs. That's a good point. And like, when I say that these people are appealing to the algorithm, I don't mean the reason I brought up the whole face thing and Mr. Beast and All else, I think, is because they are not trying to make interesting content that we go, I enjoyed that content.
I got something out of it. Not what they're trying to do. Yeah. All they're trying to do is create a thing that is going to make us click.
Yeah. And then keep stirring it as long until we get to the end of the video. Yeah. We don't have to feel better afterwards.
We don't have to be more informed afterwards. In fact, so in some ways, it's better if we don't, because then we're going to click another video. Because we haven't had our dopamine yet. Yeah.
Exactly. But it's like with the with the jubilee stuff, like the person that goes on, it's supremacist to this. And it's like, if you think about it for more than 10 seconds, it's like, why is this one person going up against 20 other people? It's because of 20 people think they have like, I mean, they do have the right to an opinion, but it's like, they're just so misinformed on everything because they've watched all the shit.
And then when someone an expert does come in and go, Oh, actually, it's this, they're like, No, no, no, they don't learn anything. No one learns anything. No one learns anything. One doesn't learn anything.
There's 50 people that learn anything. It's just it's just like watching white noise. It's just you get nothing out of it. There's no there's no content.
Like it's just like it's McDonald's. It's not even McDonald's like meat. Yeah. It's McDonald's bread.
Yeah. Yeah. Of shit. But yeah, enough of me screaming at screaming at the moon.
Well, that's how I was just going to say, let's talk about the kinds of disposable media you wear. But you're very derriated. Yeah. This is all been just all been bookended by the family.
We just like, yeah, here we go. We're just some more films that will never get made. Hopefully you'll laugh. Who knows?
We certainly hope so. If you do, just go to life, podcast, dot, viskey, dot social and just type, haha. Yeah, yeah, just just just yeah, just just just just post it post it. Just post it at life to pitch podcast.
That's it. I laughed. Nice time. I had a nice time listening to your podcast.
Yeah, because yeah, because then we'll feel like we haven't made the fucking rule of the media world and maybe we'll have made something that was actually worth doing. But also, right, speaking of, I would say a mystery. So I've been working on a film. Really?
An actual film? You've been working on a film? I've been working on actual film. Yeah, a real film, a real film project, I'd say.
I don't think it's going to be like a Spielberg movie or whatever. But me and Barry Thomas, who's been on the show before, basically, we both heard of the same rumor. Okay. But there's a devil's cave somewhere in Never Ed Sheffield.
Yeah. And this is something that I've heard about way back in sort of like before the 2010s, right before the 2010s, someone just told me about it randomly and whatever. And I think, and then like 2020 rolls around. I look it up.
I go on, I go and do the four and there's one forum post that mentions it exactly as someone told me about it. Okay. And this is the post that sort of kicked off this whole thing. Because I think I don't know how Barney learned about it or anything like that.
But yeah, the documentary is us trying to find this cave. Yeah, that's the thing. So I've been in the headway. We're not further back from where we started.
We have looked around and we've managed to cross a few places off that don't have a devil's cave. So we're sort of narrowing it down. I think I say on a clips somewhere, I'm not sure if it'll make it into the edit, but it was sort of like the worst thing that could happen is it actually existed and now it's been built upon. Yeah.
If it doesn't exist, fine. Yeah. Like we can make a documentary about sort of urban legends and stuff like that. But if it does exist and it's now gone, I'm gonna be so disappointed.
But part of it and links to me griping about the internet is because there's a whole thing about it. Like if you go on to YouTube and look at the comments, you again, think about it for 10 seconds. Yeah. There's really a comment.
Any comment. Yeah. Think about it because why the fuck are they written that way? Why the hell has anyone written anything in the YouTube comments?
It's fucking bizarre. So and this links to because I've asked a few never edge forums about the devil's cave. Have you looked into it? Oh my god.
Oh really? The fucking like no one's told us where it is or I think there's been one person who said they've heard of it. Yeah. There's been 80 something comments on this post.
None of which have anything to do with like I did ask for like spooky stories of ever edge as well. And so and so presumably they're all like there's a chip shop which is on. Yeah. Some of them are like but others are like actively like there's no devil's cave.
Don't make it up or like don't humor him. Like I'm just like what? Yeah exactly. I'm just sort of like there's another one that made me a barbie life that was like how can you be making a documentary about something you don't know anything about?
I'm just like what what is the worry is that yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So I love to see him watch your free solo and just be like oh you just know if you can do it.
Why is he why are you starting filming? Why are you starting filming? Why are filming after you know you can do it? Why do anything?
And I'm just like just everything is coming in any process. Yeah. I'm just like oh why would you write this? Like if you if you see a post like that yeah it's it's the whole thing of like if you want to um check something like I think someone wrote like a maths problem or something like that got it really wrong.
Yeah. The best the best way to ask for help is to get it really wrong and then someone'll jump in and correct. Yeah. Because if you just ask for the answer.
Yeah. Someone like you'll know be a little respond. If you do the post you ask the question and then someone else underneath answers it very wrong. Yeah.
Then someone will be like in Sexton they'll be like no it's this. Yeah. But like I've been so like talking about a bubble online all I do is go online to post titles every now and then read the titles whatever. Yeah.
And we get our audience like they come in with titles or sometimes we get like yeah they're really nice people. Uh hopefully listening. Um and yeah. They're not our audience.
They understand the brief even new comments. They understand the brief. Yeah. We put it out clearly like give us film titles.
This is this is what our interaction is all about. Yeah. Sometimes we may get film titles with like a little let's go a little joke. Yeah.
A little joke in it. A little joke in work. Yeah. Yeah.
Or like someone will just pitch a movie to us. Which is fun to read. Yeah. It's fun to read.
Yeah. It's fun to part of the brief but it's fine. It's fine. Yeah.
If you go on like anything else. Yeah. Fucking hell. It's quite it's quite different.
It's an aggressive world. Yeah. Like and for no reason. Just if you if you have a thought think about it.
Keep it yourself. Keep it yourself. Don't write like don't humor him. Like what good is that doing anyone?
Yeah. You know what I mean? Or like don't make it up. I'm posting on this forum post which will put it to the top of the first of the forum.
Just to tell people not to comment on the first on the forum post. Yeah. It's like there was one that was like why are you making a documentary about something you don't know about. There was another one which basically said the same thing with the joke at the end of it.
You must work for the BBC. And I was like what the people who do planet Earth. They must know everything about the world. Right.
Yeah. They set off knowing everything about the world and then when they shot it like they knew exactly what was going to happen. It was all staged. But fucking hell.
What a time. What a time I've had the last few weeks online. Looking forward to seeing the documentary. Yeah.
Yeah. It's a eventually find a double game. We've got a few leads where it could be. It's just a long way away.
Well, long way up never had Sheffield. Yeah. So yeah. That's a mystery.
Has there any murders in the Devil's Cave? No. No, but it is it is a place apparently that like has a pool of water that if you disturb the surface it goes red. Okay.
It's called the Devil's Cave. I think apparently it's on private land. There's like a few it's it's like reading the grail diary. This forum for us.
Yeah. Because it's like we went around and checked off the place and we're like no, no, it's it's got to be private land that you can see from the road. Yeah. But has now been obscured by bushes.
So there's like a few checklists and like we were going through just like no, no, this doesn't add up with what's written on the. Yeah. It's yeah. That's in the works.
In the works. Coming 2027. Probably. But we haven't talked about millimeters.
That's just a lot of I've got on my mind. A lot of Tom's thoughts. A lot of Tom's thoughts. A lot of Tom's thoughts I've had in the last few weeks.
Yes. Driving me mad. I've had no thoughts in the meantime. Good.
My mystery. I've tried to just I've sworn off on Tom for the year. Swear on our thoughts. That's your, we should get some like content watch.
No thoughts needed. No thoughts needed. Yeah. Especially if you go in with no thoughts at all and aim to come out with no thoughts.
Because that's how they get you. Yeah. That's true. If you if you believe that you're going to go into these like videos with you go in with no thoughts and you aim to come out with thoughts.
That's the main thing. Exactly. Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah. Metamistries. I, you know, I think that the.
I've seen a few. Yeah. I've seen the Poirot. Mm.
See all of them. I've seen two of them. Yeah. There is a third one, isn't there?
I've seen death in the Nile. Yeah. Because I was about to bring that one up as well. There is a third one.
Yeah. There's a house. Very house based one. Yeah.
The one there's one between a fake. Mm. Yeah. I didn't see that.
Death in Venice. Yes. Maybe. Yeah.
Murder in Venice or something like that. I watched Death in the Nile. Yes. A few days ago.
Oh, really? Yeah. I don't know why. I think I was really bored one day.
You first done seeing it? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
And good Lord, that cast. So it's a phenomenal cast. Oh. Like, what can you say?
You know, like you got French and Saunders and yeah. Well, French and Saunders aside. Yeah. The cast is aged like milk.
Yes. Oh, yeah. Within a point. What do you think about the cast?
Hang on. Oh, boy. Let me just let me just pop this up. It came out.
I think definitely then came out in 2020, 2019, 2020. Oh, that's great. And basically. Oh, God.
I knew Garth Doe was yeah. Gal Gadot was in it. Army hammers. Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah. Fucking. Well, I don't think I've done anything to my knowledge.
Let's eat your right similarly. Yeah. Oh, no. Let's eat your right.
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Is this your wrong? Is this your wrong? No. She I think was like an anti-vaxxer.
Oh, that's a shame. Yeah. Yeah. Which is yeah.
Just another thing. I was just sort of like, I mean, I'm not even like fucking Russell Brands in it. Yeah. Fucking hell.
Yeah. Who's hiring him anymore? Jesus. Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah. That you're right. It's a cursed movie.
This movie is cursed. Yeah. Holy shit. Yeah.
Yeah. Well, there you go. But yeah. Did you enjoy it?
No. It was a regular. It was just a bit like I didn't understand the heavy use of CG. It was just so obscure.
I guess we were on the express. I had the same problem. A few of the big vistas. Yeah.
Yeah. Beautiful movie. Yeah. Few of the big vistas.
I think the problem with Death on the Nile is that it was post knives out. Yeah. Because knives out basically. Yeah.
It's just better. Really exciting. Yeah. You know, modern.
Yeah. Interesting. Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah. Interesting. Pwaro. Yeah.
Now is just like old. It's old. It's old. It's old.
All the stereotypes that I can just do with. Yeah. Right. Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah. They're watching it purely for weirdly, like nostalgia reasons. The cast, right?
Yeah. Well, you're what you are watching for. I think the selling point of these branad. Pwaro's is you're watching.
Watching for the cat really? You're watching for the cast because you believe that they have got their good. Yeah. Yeah.
And like the shots you have these in place, these tight shots. You look at one of your express fucking defos in that. Yeah. Right.
You watch that man's face at the depth that those shots are taken at. Yeah. You're like, right. I think in here I've got an idea of whether or not this person did it.
You know, that's the cell. The USP of these of these waros is that they keep cutting to really close up shots of beautiful people's faces. Yeah. So that we you can try and study them.
The beauty of death on the night would be past is you go interesting. No one. Nowadays. Yeah.
Nowadays. It's just sort of like watching it post everything that's happened since it was released. You're like, I trust any of these guys. I kind of wish they'd all done it.
I kind of wish it was just literally already expressed again. But my money's on Arnie Hammer. I'm pretty sure he wasn't the guy who'd done it. He might have done it.
Arm on Hammer. Yeah. The guy who the fucking the social network did a number on because I'm still convinced he has a twin. I'm surprised whenever I found out he's not a twin.
Yeah. The twins arm and hammer. Yeah. He plays the winkle vals twins both of them.
Yes, he does. In that movie. It's just it's so bizarre that he's not a less than about him. The better.
Yeah. Person jumping weirdo. That's the plot of raw person jumping weirdo. Yeah.
So like I think that our in terms of my process for this one, I'm going to be going the clue method, which because we've had in the past the trouble where with memories, we can't picture a mystery. It's tough to put a picture made a mystery because we just sort of have to do several revisions. You kind of get to the kind of it's very well crafted bit of narrative, isn't it? Metamist.
They say it's best if you work backwards. Yeah. The mystery. And for podcast listening, and like you've got to construct a narrative while you're pitching a movie in this format, it's hard to come up and surprise people.
You create a like if you're doing it in real life, you create a framework that gets into the end. You find wide spires you from that framework, write the ending and then start to feed into the framework, but that's not what we're doing. So what we're going to do is the clue method, right? Where we write from the start, come up with clues that have no bearing on anything, and then decide who did it based on what we just said.
Yeah. We've also got to name all the actors we can. Oh, no. It's going to be one of those random acts are generated.
Does IMDB have one of those yet? No, well, it's not been updated for decades, I mean, they're coasting off of a website that was invented in the late 90s. Yeah, it's true. Yeah.
Yeah. I think that's what we do. All right. So from Steve Day, we've got a killing on the loo.
A killing on the loo. Yeah, killer on the loose. Yeah, but a killing on the loo. Okay.
Melvis was murdered. That's my idea. Yeah. I think that we can move on.