Dementia, Grief and Counselling with Lisa Daniels - Part 1

What happens emotionally when dementia enters a family? In Part 1 of this conversation, Andy Baker speaks with Lisa Daniels, a Level 7 Transactional Analysis Counsellor and founder of The Dementia Counsellor, about why counselling can be so valuable for people affected by dementia. Lisa explains how dementia counselling is not about clinically explaining the diagnosis, but about helping people process what the diagnosis means for their identity, relationships, independence and future. The conversation explores ambiguous loss, anticipatory grief, shame, fear, changes in communication and the emotional impact on partners, children and other loved ones. This episode is particularly relevant for paid and unpaid caregivers, family carers, professionals and anyone supporting someone newly diagnosed with dementia. In This Episode Andy and Lisa explore: What dementia counselling actually is Why counselling is not routinely offered after a dementia diagnosis The emotional impact of diagnosis on the individual and the wider family Shame and confidence when communication begins to change Ambiguous loss and grieving someone who is still alive Young-onset dementia and the loss of anticipated futures Supporting both the person diagnosed and their loved ones Why confidential counselling can create space for difficult or unresolved conversations Lisa’s own lived experience of dementia in her family The loss of driving, work, independence and financial control How counselling can help someone reconnect with identity and meaningful memories Guilt, anger and resentment in family caregivers The emotional pressure experienced by sandwich carers Three Key Messages 1. Grief can begin long before someone dies. Dementia can change communication, relationships, roles and future plans, creating what is often called ambiguous loss. 2. The person diagnosed may be grieving themselves. Loss of driving, work, confidence, communication and independence can deeply affect identity and self-esteem. 3. Caregivers are allowed to struggle too. Feeling tired, angry, resentful or overwhelmed does not erase love. These emotions often need a safe, non-judgemental place to be explored. Why Listen to This Episode? Listen if you: Have recently received a dementia diagnosis Support a loved one who has dementia Feel guilty for grieving someone who is still alive Are struggling with changes in your relationship Feel pressure to stay strong for everyone else Are a sandwich carer supporting children and an older relative at the same time Want to understand what counselling can offer after diagnosis Work with families affected by dementia and want a deeper understanding of their emotional experience This episode may help listeners recognise that dementia affects far more than memory. It can affect identity, independence, relationships, confidence and the stories people hold about themselves. Timestamps / Chapters 00:00 - What is dementia counselling? Why counselling is different from clinical advice or dementia education. 01:35 - The ripple effect of a dementia diagnosis How a diagnosis affects families as well as the individual. 02:39 - Shame, communication and losing confidence Why changes in speech and processing can affect self-esteem. 04:42 - Is it normal to grieve someone who is still alive? Understanding ambiguous loss and unacknowledged grief. 06:58 - Grieving the future you expected Young-onset dementia, retirement and the loss of shared plans. 08:18 - Counselling for the person diagnosed Why confidential space matters. 10:52 - When caregivers feel they have to be strong Why loved ones can ignore their own emotional needs. 12:05 - Caring for a parent you had a difficult relationship with Guilt, duty and complicated family history. 13:04 - Lisa’s personal journey into dementia counselling Her mother’s diagnosis, her own counselling experience and becoming the support she once needed. 18:21 - What people with dementia may be grieving Driving, work, independence, financial control and identity. 22:16 - Helping a father write his daughter’s wedding speech How counselling helped evoke memories and create a meaningful moment. 25:45 - “I shouldn’t feel this way” Exploring caregiver guilt, resentment and inherited beliefs about duty. 28:47 - The emotional load of sandwich carers Children, work, ageing parents and constant responsibility. 31:56 - Why counselling should not only begin at crisis point Talking as prevention rather than waiting until everything becomes overwhelming. Resources Mentioned The Dementia Counsellor Lisa Daniels provides counselling for people affected by dementia, including: People with an early dementia diagnosis Partners and spouses Adult children Sandwich carers Families experiencing conflict, grief or difficult transitions Website: https://www.thedementiacounsellor.co.uk Email: [email protected] Lisa Daniels on LinkedIn https://www.linkedin.com/in/lisa-daniels-32214623/ Instagram The Dementia Counsellor UK Facebook The Dementia Counsellor.co.uk Alzheimer’s Society Lisa works with the Alzheimer’s Society Research Network and has also volunteered within dementia support. The Adaptive Caregiver Model The Adaptive Caregiver Model: Walking With, Not Ahead - A Practical Guide to Dementia Care That Adapts to the Person, Not the Diagnosis https://www.amazon.co.uk/Adaptive-Caregiver-Model-Practical-Diagnosis/dp/1918283060 About Lisa Daniels Lisa Daniels is a Level 7 Transactional Analysis Counsellor based in Warwickshire. She works online and in private practice in Kenilworth and Coventry, as well as within hospice and community settings. After more than 20 years in the pharmaceutical industry, Lisa retrained over four years before leaving her corporate role in December 2025 to build her counselling practice full-time. Her interest in dementia is both professional and deeply personal. Her grandfather lived with dementia, and her mother experienced young-onset dementia. Lisa supported her family through caregiving, grief and loss before specialising in counselling for people affected by dementia. She is particularly passionate about supporting people newly diagnosed with dementia, their loved ones and sandwich carers managing several caring roles at once. Follow Able to Care Podcast website: https://able-training.co.uk/podcast LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/able-training-ltd-/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/AbleTraining TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@abletocarepodcast YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@abletocarepodcast Part 2 continues next Tuesday, exploring boundaries, caregiver guilt, family conflict, Transactional Analysis and why emotional support after a dementia diagnosis needs to be far more individualised.