Able to Care

What happens emotionally when dementia enters a family? In Part 1 of this conversation, Andy Baker speaks with Lisa Daniels, a Level 7 Transactional Analysis Counsellor and founder of The Dementia Counsellor, about why counselling can be so valuable for people affected by dementia. Lisa explains how dementia counselling is not about clinically explaining the diagnosis, but about helping people process what the diagnosis means for their identity, relationships, independence and future. The conversation explores ambiguous loss, anticipatory grief, shame, fear, changes in communication and the emotional impact on partners, children and other loved ones. This episode is particularly relevant for paid and unpaid caregivers, family carers, professionals and anyone supporting someone newly diagnosed with dementia. In This Episode Andy and Lisa explore: What dementia counselling actually is Why counselling is not routinely offered after a dementia diagnosis The emotional impact of diagnosis on the individual and the wider family Shame and confidence when communication begins to change Ambiguous loss and grieving someone who is still alive Young-onset dementia and the loss of anticipated futures Supporting both the person diagnosed and their loved ones Why confidential counselling can create space for difficult or unresolved conversations Lisa’s own lived experience of dementia in her family The loss of driving, work, independence and financial control How counselling can help someone reconnect with identity and meaningful memories Guilt, anger and resentment in family caregivers The emotional pressure experienced by sandwich carers Three Key Messages 1. Grief can begin long before someone dies. Dementia can change communication, relationships, roles and future plans, creating what is often called ambiguous loss. 2. The person diagnosed may be grieving themselves. Loss of driving, work, confidence, communication and independence can deeply affect identity and self-esteem. 3. Caregivers are allowed to struggle too. Feeling tired, angry, resentful or overwhelmed does not erase love. These emotions often need a safe, non-judgemental place to be explored. Why Listen to This Episode? Listen if you: Have recently received a dementia diagnosis Support a loved one who has dementia Feel guilty for grieving someone who is still alive Are struggling with changes in your relationship Feel pressure to stay strong for everyone else Are a sandwich carer supporting children and an older relative at the same time Want to understand what counselling can offer after diagnosis Work with families affected by dementia and want a deeper understanding of their emotional experience This episode may help listeners recognise that dementia affects far more than memory. It can affect identity, independence, relationships, confidence and the stories people hold about themselves. Timestamps / Chapters 00:00 - What is dementia counselling? Why counselling is different from clinical advice or dementia education. 01:35 - The ripple effect of a dementia diagnosis How a diagnosis affects families as well as the individual. 02:39 - Shame, communication and losing confidence Why changes in speech and processing can affect self-esteem. 04:42 - Is it normal to grieve someone who is still alive? Understanding ambiguous loss and unacknowledged grief. 06:58 - Grieving the future you expected Young-onset dementia, retirement and the loss of shared plans. 08:18 - Counselling for the person diagnosed Why confidential space matters. 10:52 - When caregivers feel they have to be strong Why loved ones can ignore their own emotional needs. 12:05 - Caring for a parent you had a difficult relationship with Guilt, duty and complicated family history. 13:04 - Lisa’s personal journey into dementia counselling Her mother’s diagnosis, her own counselling experience and becoming the support she once needed. 18:21 - What people with dementia may be grieving Driving, work, independence, financial control and identity. 22:16 - Helping a father write his daughter’s wedding speech How counselling helped evoke memories and create a meaningful moment. 25:45 - “I shouldn’t feel this way” Exploring caregiver guilt, resentment and inherited beliefs about duty. 28:47 - The emotional load of sandwich carers Children, work, ageing parents and constant responsibility. 31:56 - Why counselling should not only begin at crisis point Talking as prevention rather than waiting until everything becomes overwhelming. Resources Mentioned The Dementia Counsellor Lisa Daniels provides counselling for people affected by dementia, including: People with an early dementia diagnosis Partners and spouses Adult children Sandwich carers Families experiencing conflict, grief or difficult transitions Website: https://www.thedementiacounsellor.co.uk Email: [email protected] Lisa Daniels on LinkedIn https://www.linkedin.com/in/lisa-daniels-32214623/ Instagram The Dementia Counsellor UK Facebook The Dementia Counsellor.co.uk Alzheimer’s Society Lisa works with the Alzheimer’s Society Research Network and has also volunteered within dementia support. The Adaptive Caregiver Model The Adaptive Caregiver Model: Walking With, Not Ahead - A Practical Guide to Dementia Care That Adapts to the Person, Not the Diagnosis https://www.amazon.co.uk/Adaptive-Caregiver-Model-Practical-Diagnosis/dp/1918283060 About Lisa Daniels Lisa Daniels is a Level 7 Transactional Analysis Counsellor based in Warwickshire. She works online and in private practice in Kenilworth and Coventry, as well as within hospice and community settings. After more than 20 years in the pharmaceutical industry, Lisa retrained over four years before leaving her corporate role in December 2025 to build her counselling practice full-time. Her interest in dementia is both professional and deeply personal. Her grandfather lived with dementia, and her mother experienced young-onset dementia. Lisa supported her family through caregiving, grief and loss before specialising in counselling for people affected by dementia. She is particularly passionate about supporting people newly diagnosed with dementia, their loved ones and sandwich carers managing several caring roles at once. Follow Able to Care Podcast website: https://able-training.co.uk/podcast LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/able-training-ltd-/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/AbleTraining TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@abletocarepodcast YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@abletocarepodcast Part 2 continues next Tuesday, exploring boundaries, caregiver guilt, family conflict, Transactional Analysis and why emotional support after a dementia diagnosis needs to be far more individualised.

In Part 2 of Andy Baker’s conversation with Baroness Ruth Lister, the discussion turns to the wider cost of allowing child poverty to continue and the practical role schools, services, communities and policymakers can play. Ruth explains why reducing child poverty should be viewed as preventative investment rather than simply an expense. Poverty can affect children’s health, educational opportunities and future employment, while also increasing pressure on schools, local authorities, social care and the NHS. The episode also explores how schools may unintentionally deepen shame, the importance of poverty-proofing the school day, and the experiences of migrant families who have no recourse to public funds. Ruth discusses why poverty is not only about money but also dignity, rights, relationships and the way people are treated. This conversation is especially valuable for teachers, carers, parents, social workers and professionals who want to provide support without increasing stigma or making families feel blamed for circumstances beyond their control. In This Episode Andy and Ruth explore: The financial and social cost of failing to reduce child poverty Why spending on children can be understood as preventative investment How poverty affects health, education and future opportunities Ways schools can avoid unintentionally shaming or excluding children The importance of poverty-aware uniform, trip and meal policies What “no recourse to public funds” means for migrant families Why dignity and human rights matter alongside household income How professionals can involve people with lived experience in training and service design Where struggling parents may be able to seek practical support What individuals can do to advocate for change Three Key Messages 1. Failing to tackle child poverty has a significant long-term cost. Poverty can contribute to poorer health, reduced educational achievement and greater pressure on public services. Early financial support can therefore be understood as prevention and investment. 2. Schools and services can either reduce or deepen shame. Uniform rules, school trips, free-meal systems and requests for materials should be designed so that children are not publicly identified, punished or excluded because of their family income. 3. People experiencing poverty deserve support without judgement. Poverty is not only a shortage of money. It is also experienced through stigma, disrespect, powerlessness and the feeling of being treated as less worthy than other people. Why Listen to This Episode? Listen if you: Work in a school and want to make policies more poverty-aware Support children who lack uniforms, food, equipment or access to activities Work with migrant or refugee families who cannot access mainstream benefits Want to understand the long-term social cost of child poverty Are helping families navigate Universal Credit, food banks or local support Want to challenge stigma without turning the discussion into party-political conflict Believe services should be shaped by dignity, rights and lived experience Feel powerless about child poverty and want practical actions to take The episode offers both a national policy perspective and practical ideas that can be applied in schools, services and everyday interactions. Timestamps / Chapters 00:00 - Universal Credit is not only for unemployed families Why working parents may still qualify for financial support. 00:21 - The real cost of failing to tackle child poverty The long-term effects on health, education, employment and public services. 03:22 - What schools can stop doing How uniform policies, trips and classroom requirements can unintentionally increase shame. 04:40 - Poverty-proofing the school day Creating inclusive approaches to free school meals, equipment and participation. 06:28 - Practical support through schools and community services Laundry facilities and other forms of help for families in temporary accommodation. 06:51 - What no recourse to public funds means Why some migrant families cannot access social security or social housing. 10:41 - Poverty, dignity and human rights Why the experience of being dehumanised can feel as damaging as the material hardship itself. 14:23 - Understanding stigma and discrimination How language and assumptions shape the way families are treated. 15:37 - Practical advice for parents who are struggling Benefits checks, Citizens Advice, food banks and asking for support without shame. 18:39 - Reasons for hope and action Contacting representatives, joining local organisations and challenging poverty-related prejudice. 20:53 - Closing reflections The importance of empathy and recognising that people experiencing poverty are not a separate group. Resources Mentioned Ruth Lister’s Report - The Good Society Starts Small https://www.compassonline.org.uk/publications/the-good-society-starts-small/ Ruth Lister’s Book - Poverty, Second Edition https://www.wiley.com/en-gb/Poverty%2C+2nd+Edition-p-9780745645971 Ruth Lister - Loughborough University https://www.lboro.ac.uk/subjects/social-policy-studies/staff/honorary/ruth-lister/ Contact Ruth Lister [email protected] Citizens Advice Support with Universal Credit, benefits entitlement, housing, debt and other financial concerns. https://www.citizensadvice.org.uk/ No Recourse to Public Funds Collective Partnership The guest information highlights partnership work involving organisations supporting migrants and migrant families affected by immigration-status and public-funds restrictions: Praxis Migration Exchange Citizens UK Praxis: https://www.praxis.org.uk/ Migration Exchange: https://migrationexchange.org.uk/ Citizens UK: https://www.citizensuk.org/ Child Poverty Action Group Information, research and campaigning relating to child poverty and family support. https://cpag.org.uk/ Local Support Families may also be able to seek help through: Local welfare-rights organisations Food banks and community pantries Schools and family-support teams Local councils Housing and migrant-support charities Community and faith organisations Practical Ideas for Schools and Services Avoid sending children home because their family cannot afford the correct uniform Review whether trips and activities create visible differences between children Make free-school-meal systems as discreet and universal as possible Provide ingredients, equipment and materials rather than assuming every family can supply them Ask what is preventing attendance before treating absence as a lack of commitment Include people with lived experience of poverty in staff training Use respectful, non-stigmatising language in policies and conversations Ensure families know where they can receive confidential advice About Ruth Lister Baroness Ruth Lister is Emeritus Professor of Social Policy at Loughborough University. Her work explores poverty, citizenship, gender, inequality and social justice. A central theme of her work is that poverty should not be understood through income alone. It must also be examined through dignity, participation, voice, rights and the social relationships that shape how people are treated. Follow Able to Care Podcast website: https://able-training.co.uk/podcast LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/able-training-ltd-/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/AbleTraining TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@abletocarepodcast YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@abletocarepodcast If this episode helps you understand child poverty differently, please share it with a teacher, caregiver, parent, social worker or policymaker who may benefit from the conversation.

Child poverty is not only about hunger or homelessness. It can mean a child missing school because they do not have the right uniform, being unable to join clubs or activities, feeling ashamed to invite friends home, or being excluded from the everyday experiences their classmates take for granted. In Part 1 of this conversation, Andy Baker speaks with Baroness Ruth Lister about the reality of child poverty in the UK and the impact it has on children’s education, identity, relationships and wellbeing. Ruth challenges common assumptions about poverty and explains why most children living in poverty have at least one parent in paid employment. This episode will be especially relevant to teachers, caregivers, parents, support workers and anyone working with children and families. It offers a clearer understanding of how financial hardship can sit underneath attendance difficulties, social withdrawal, unmet practical needs and behaviour that may otherwise be judged too quickly. In This Episode Andy and Ruth explore: What child poverty means beyond the official statistics How poverty affects children’s confidence, identity and ability to belong Why school attendance can be affected by uniform costs, caring responsibilities and family circumstances The scale and depth of child poverty in the UK Why paid employment is not a guaranteed route out of poverty The impact of housing costs and private rents The role of childcare, flexible work and social security The difference between the two-child limit and the benefit cap Why poverty should be understood through children’s rights and wellbeing Three Key Messages 1. Child poverty affects participation as well as basic needs. Children may have food and shelter but still be excluded from friendships, school activities, trips, clubs and the possessions that help them feel they belong. 2. Most children in poverty are not living in workless households. Low wages, high rents, childcare costs and insecure or inflexible employment mean that paid work does not always provide enough income for a family. 3. Policies aimed at parents are ultimately experienced by children. Whatever judgement people make about adult decisions, children have no control over their family’s circumstances and should not carry the consequences through hunger, exclusion or shame. Why Listen to This Episode? Listen if you: Work with children whose attendance or engagement is becoming a concern Support families struggling with food, clothing, housing or childcare costs Want to understand the difference between poverty and worklessness Have heard debates about the two-child limit or benefit cap but are unsure how they affect families Want to make your school, care service or community more poverty-aware Are a parent who is working but still struggling financially Want to respond to families with greater empathy and less judgement For educators and caregivers, the conversation offers an important reminder to ask what may be happening around a child before treating absence, unsuitable clothing, withdrawal or non-participation as a lack of effort. Timestamps / Chapters 00:00 - What child poverty really means Why poverty includes hunger, inadequate clothing, social exclusion and children being unable to enjoy their childhood. 01:59 - School attendance, uniforms and hidden hardship Why a child may be absent for reasons that are not immediately visible to the school. 03:22 - Poverty, belonging and the cost of joining in How electronics, activities, clothing and friendships affect children’s emerging identity. 04:57 - How many UK children are living in poverty? Understanding the scale of child poverty and the meaning of deep poverty. 06:18 - How poverty is officially measured Income, housing costs and why measuring poverty allows comparison over time. 07:54 - The reality of in-work poverty Why most children in poverty live in a household where at least one parent works. 10:23 - Why housing costs matter so much Private rents, housing support and families being pushed below the poverty line. 12:01 - The main drivers of child poverty Housing costs, social-security reductions and the challenge of combining work with childcare. 14:34 - The Good Society Starts Small Redistribution, rights, political resolve and policies that could reduce child poverty. 17:20 - The two-child limit and the benefit cap Why these are separate policies and how each affects family income. 23:32 - Children should not be punished for circumstances outside their control The effect of policy choices on every child in a household. 25:00 - Universal Credit and working families Why people in employment may still qualify for financial support. Resources Mentioned The Good Society Starts Small A report by Baroness Ruth Lister examining child poverty through redistribution, rights and political resolve. https://www.compassonline.org.uk/publications/the-good-society-starts-small/ Poverty, Second Edition Ruth Lister’s book explores poverty as both a material condition and a lived social experience involving dignity, voice, respect and citizenship. https://www.wiley.com/en-gb/Poverty%2C+2nd+Edition-p-9780745645971 Ruth Lister - Loughborough University https://www.lboro.ac.uk/subjects/social-policy-studies/staff/honorary/ruth-lister/ Contact Ruth Lister [email protected] Support and Benefits Advice People who are working may still be eligible for Universal Credit or other support. Citizens Advice and local welfare-rights organisations may be able to help families check what they are entitled to receive. https://www.citizensadvice.org.uk/ About Ruth Lister Baroness Ruth Lister is Emeritus Professor of Social Policy at Loughborough University and a leading writer and researcher on poverty, inequality, citizenship and social justice. She previously worked for the Child Poverty Action Group and has spent decades examining both the economic reality of poverty and the way people experiencing poverty are treated, represented and heard. Follow Able to Care Podcast website: https://able-training.co.uk/podcast LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/able-training-ltd-/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/AbleTraining TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@abletocarepodcast YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@abletocarepodcast Part 2 continues next Tuesday, exploring the long-term cost of child poverty, poverty-aware schools, migrant families, dignity and practical ways to support parents experiencing hardship.

In Part 2 of this conversation, dementia engagement specialist Florence Tyloo explores how caregivers can adapt activities as a person’s abilities, visual processing and communication change. Florence challenges the assumption that someone has lost interest simply because they do not immediately participate. The problem may be that they cannot see the equipment, understand the instructions or complete the activity in the way it has been presented. Andy and Florence discuss how to create achievable challenges, protect a person’s self-esteem and use family knowledge to uncover meaningful roles and interests. They also examine visual-field changes in dementia, the N.U.T.S. framework for reducing stress and why presence matters more than completing an activity correctly. This episode offers practical ideas for professional carers, activity coordinators, family caregivers and anyone who wants to create more person-centred dementia activities. In This Episode Florence explains how she begins with an achievable version of an activity and then gradually increases the challenge. This allows the person to experience early success without removing every opportunity for growth or mastery. She explores why asking, “What activities are good for dementia?” can lead caregivers in the wrong direction. A better question is: “What activity is meaningful, achievable and enjoyable for this particular person today?” Florence also describes how families can help carers understand a person’s history, identity and former roles. Examples include asking a former teacher to help with a dictation exercise or inviting a person who enjoyed reading to read aloud for others. The episode also examines visual-field changes, contrast and the importance of placing objects where the person can actually see them. Three Key Messages 1. Adapt the activity before assuming the person cannot participate. Changes in vision, processing, movement or communication may require a different presentation, position or level of challenge. 2. A person’s history provides clues, not restrictions. Past interests can inspire meaningful engagement, but people living with dementia should still be offered new experiences and opportunities. 3. The quality of the moment matters more than completing the task. An activity does not need to be done perfectly to create joy, confidence, connection or a sense of achievement. Chapters 00:00 - Adapting activities as abilities change Beginning with success and gradually increasing the challenge. 03:59 - What activities are good for dementia? Why the activity must be matched to the individual rather than the diagnosis. 06:42 - When familiar activities become emotionally difficult How a former talent can sometimes highlight loss instead of creating enjoyment. 09:08 - How families can help identify meaningful activities Using personal history, interests, routines and former roles. 10:58 - A former parent helping with schoolwork again How a dictation activity created purpose, presence and connection. 13:13 - Using meaningful roles to reduce repeated questions Moving from “What do I do?” towards an activity that feels familiar and useful. 16:23 - Understanding visual changes in dementia Why a person may not see a chair, drink, basketball hoop or object placed beside them. 19:31 - Adapting the environment rather than blaming the person Making engagement possible by changing positioning, contrast and presentation. 21:42 - Revisiting the N.U.T.S. framework How caregivers can reduce novelty, unpredictability, threats to the ego and loss of control. 23:37 - Stress is based on perception, not objective reality Why a familiar situation may still feel new or unpredictable to the person. 27:50 - Offering greater choice and control Using small decisions to reduce resistance and protect autonomy. 29:51 - Letting go of getting the activity right Why caregivers need to acknowledge challenge without treating it as personal failure. 31:54 - Presence, play and imperfect activities Finding enjoyment without requiring the person to follow every rule. 34:05 - One simple activity to try this week Using familiar music, balloons or an aiming game to invite connection. 36:02 - Florence’s workshops and dementia resources Where to find visual-change training, N.U.T.S. workshops and free dementia talks. Why Listen to This Episode? Listen if you: Need practical ideas for adapting dementia activities Want to understand visual-processing and visual-field changes Support someone who frequently refuses or disengages from activities Are worried about making an activity too difficult or too childish Want to use family knowledge more effectively in care planning Need strategies for giving someone greater autonomy and control Work with people experiencing distressed behaviour Want engagement to become part of everyday dementia care The conversation will help you replace “They cannot do it” or “They are not interested” with more useful questions: Can the person see it? Does the instruction make sense? Is the activity threatening their confidence? Have they been given genuine control? Could the activity be presented differently? Is this the right activity for this person today? Resources Mentioned Dementia Partnered Care Florence Tyloo offers dementia-engagement support, training and consultancy for caregivers, families and organisations. Website: https://www.dementia-partnered-care.co.uk Email: [email protected] Available support includes: Visual Changes in Dementia workshop Understanding Stress using the N.U.T.S. framework Free 30-minute dementia talks Practical dementia-engagement guidance Videos demonstrating how activities can be adapted across different stages of dementia Florence Tyloo on LinkedIn https://www.linkedin.com/in/florence-tyloo-msc-a20519138 Dementia Partnered Care on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61573984471347 N.U.T.S. Stress Framework Florence’s training explores four common ingredients of psychological stress: Novelty Unpredictability Threat to the ego Low sense of control This framework can help caregivers understand both their own stress and the distress experienced by someone living with dementia. Visual Changes in Dementia Florence discusses how changes to visual fields, contrast sensitivity and visual processing may affect: Sitting safely in a chair Finding food and drink Seeing objects placed to the side Participating in games Navigating the environment Understanding what a caregiver is asking The Adaptive Caregiver Model The Adaptive Caregiver Model: Walking With, Not Ahead - A Practical Guide to Dementia Care That Adapts to the Person, Not the Diagnosis https://www.amazon.co.uk/Adaptive-Caregiver-Model-Practical-Diagnosis/dp/1918283060 The model explores how caregivers can adapt their role and approach around the needs, abilities and lived reality of the individual. About the Guest Florence Tyloo is a dementia engagement specialist based in Exeter. She studied psychology in Switzerland and has worked with people living with dementia across Switzerland, the United States and the United Kingdom. Her professional practice is also shaped by family experience. Florence grew up close to her great-grandmother, who lived with Alzheimer’s disease, and her grandmother now lives with frontotemporal dementia. Florence works closely with families to create meaningful engagement that maintains connection, reduces stress and helps people living with dementia retain purpose, choice and dignity. About the Able to Care Podcast The Able to Care Podcast supports paid and unpaid caregivers, teachers and parents to better understand themselves, understand those they support and navigate the care and education systems. Podcast website: https://able-training.co.uk/podcast Follow Able LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/able-training-ltd-/ TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@abletocarepodcast YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@abletocarepodcast Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/AbleTraining If this episode gives you a useful dementia-care idea, please follow the podcast and share it with a caregiver, activity coordinator, family member or colleague who may benefit.

Activities in dementia care should be about far more than filling time. In the first part of this conversation, Andy Baker speaks with dementia engagement specialist Florence Tyloo about how meaningful activities can preserve abilities, reduce psychological stress and help people living with dementia continue to feel capable, valued and connected. Florence draws on her professional experience in Switzerland, the United States and the United Kingdom, alongside her family experience of dementia. She explains how familiar music, movement, conversation, games and everyday care tasks can become opportunities for connection. This episode will be particularly valuable for professional carers, unpaid family caregivers, activity coordinators and anyone trying to maintain a relationship with someone whose communication or cognitive abilities are changing. In This Episode Florence explains why activities such as bingo can provide cognitive stimulation when they are adapted around the person’s abilities, rather than simply being used to keep people occupied. She introduces the N.U.T.S. framework for understanding psychological stress: N - Novelty U - Unpredictability T - Threat to the ego S - Low sense of control Florence and Andy also explore how music, singing, movement and familiar helping roles can reduce stress without telling someone simply to “calm down”. The conversation considers the different dementia-care lessons Florence has taken from working in Switzerland, the United States and the United Kingdom, including relationship-led personal care, individualised activities and protecting a person’s right to make decisions involving risk. Three Key Messages 1. Meaningful activity is not simply entertainment. A carefully adapted activity can stimulate memory, attention, movement, communication and decision-making while helping the person feel useful and capable. 2. Stress affects everyone involved in dementia care. Novelty, unpredictability, threats to self-esteem and a loss of control can increase distress for both the person living with dementia and their caregiver. 3. Connection does not depend upon conversation. Music, movement, balloons, touch, shared laughter and simply spending time together can create valuable moments even when verbal communication becomes difficult. Chapters 00:00 - What meaningful dementia activities really are Why engagement should go beyond bingo, colouring and keeping someone busy. 02:14 - Using existing abilities instead of focusing on losses How activities can involve reading, attention, coordination and helping others. 03:35 - Understanding stress through the N.U.T.S. framework Novelty, unpredictability, threat to the ego and a low sense of control. 05:53 - How movement and singing can lower stress Using physical activity, breathing and familiar music to support regulation. 11:14 - What different countries taught Florence about dementia care Lessons from Switzerland, the United States and the United Kingdom. 13:49 - Making engagement part of everyday care Why getting dressed, washing and moving between rooms can all become opportunities for connection. 18:21 - Protecting choice, autonomy and positive risk-taking Supporting people living with dementia to continue making decisions. 20:10 - Rebuilding connection when dementia changes communication Why caregivers must also acknowledge their own emotions and limitations. 22:54 - Activities as a bridge to the person Using balloons, basketball, touch and shared experiences when conversation becomes difficult. 26:03 - Creating moments rather than expecting memories Why positive emotional and physical effects can remain even when an event is forgotten. 28:56 - Recognising when an activity is increasing stress Reading body language, frustration, withdrawal and changes in engagement. Why Listen to This Episode? Listen if you: Struggle to know how to connect with someone living with dementia Want practical dementia activity ideas that are genuinely person-centred Support someone who no longer communicates in the way they once did Need help recognising when an activity is supportive or overwhelming Want to understand how stress influences dementia-related distress Work in a care home, day service, hospital or community-care setting Are an unpaid caregiver trying to create more positive moments at home This episode offers a compassionate reminder that successful engagement is not measured by completing an activity perfectly. What matters is whether the person experiences safety, dignity, purpose and connection. Resources Mentioned Dementia Partnered Care Florence Tyloo provides dementia engagement support, consultancy and practical workshops for professional and family caregivers. Website: https://www.dementia-partnered-care.co.uk Email: [email protected] Florence offers: Workshops on visual changes associated with dementia Training using the N.U.T.S. stress framework Free 30-minute dementia talks Practical dementia-engagement guidance Videos demonstrating adapted activities, including basketball across different stages of dementia Florence Tyloo on LinkedIn https://www.linkedin.com/in/florence-tyloo-msc-a20519138 Dementia Partnered Care on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61573984471347 Positive Approach to Care Florence refers to the work of Teepa Snow and the Positive Approach to Care, which supports practical, compassionate and ability-focused dementia care. N.U.T.S. Stress Framework The framework discussed by Florence is based on the work of neuroscientist Sonia Lupien and the Centre for Studies on Human Stress: Novelty Unpredictability Threat to the ego Low sense of control The Adaptive Caregiver Model The Adaptive Caregiver Model: Walking With, Not Ahead - A Practical Guide to Dementia Care That Adapts to the Person, Not the Diagnosis https://www.amazon.co.uk/Adaptive-Caregiver-Model-Practical-Diagnosis/dp/1918283060 About the Guest Florence Tyloo is a dementia engagement specialist based in Exeter. She studied psychology in Switzerland and has supported people living with dementia in Switzerland, the United States and the United Kingdom. Alongside her professional experience, Florence grew up close to her great-grandmother, who lived with Alzheimer’s disease. Her grandmother now lives with frontotemporal dementia in the same care home. Florence’s work focuses on helping caregivers use meaningful activities to maintain connection, reduce stress, empower the person and create positive moments throughout the dementia journey. About the Able to Care Podcast The Able to Care Podcast supports paid and unpaid caregivers, teachers and parents to understand themselves, better understand those they support and navigate the care and education systems. Podcast website: https://able-training.co.uk/podcast Follow Able LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/able-training-ltd-/ TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@abletocarepodcast YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@abletocarepodcast Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/AbleTraining If this conversation helps you think differently about dementia activities and meaningful engagement, please follow the podcast and share the episode with a caregiver, family member or colleague who may benefit.

In Part 2 of this conversation, Andy Baker continues with Ethan St Pierre, Dr Alice Loving and Azariah Hope to explore what happens when parents and families are watched, assessed and misunderstood by the very systems meant to help them. This episode looks at the impact of labels such as addict, personality disorder or non-compliant, and asks what parents really need in order to feel safe enough to engage. It also digs into parenting after trauma, what support actually helps, why honesty and consistency matter, and how connection before correction should apply not only to children, but to the adults caring for them too. For teachers, caregivers, social workers and parents, this is a powerful discussion about accountability, compassion, system change and the possibility of breaking intergenerational cycles. Why listen to this episode? This episode is essential listening for anyone working in or around children’s social care, trauma-informed parenting, foster care or family support. It highlights what shuts parents down, what helps them stay engaged, and why the quality of the relationship with professionals can change everything. It is also a moving reminder that healing is possible, but only when support is honest, human and strong enough to hold complexity over time. Three key messages: Labels can sometimes offer context, but they can also leave people feeling defeated, misunderstood and written off before real support has even begun. Parents are far more likely to engage when professionals lead with honesty, compassion, consistency and a genuine wish to understand, not simply assess. Breaking cycles of trauma and harm takes time, safe relationships, accountability and practical support - not just surveillance, plans and pressure. Timestamps / chapters: 00:00 - Ethan on labels, addiction, ADHD and how language shapes recovery 04:49 - Azariah on diagnosis, identity and why labels can become a prison 11:28 - Parenting while being watched, assessed and misunderstood 24:55 - What helps parents feel safe enough to engage with services 38:23 - Connection before correction for parents as well as children 45:18 - Love, trust, honesty and why systems need to change 48:06 - Hopeful Disrupter event and closing reflections Resources mentioned / relevant links: Hopeful Disrupter event, London, 5 June - details shared during the episode. Ethan St Pierre Email: https://nurturingnaturecic.org/ Event: https://www.eventbrite.co.uk/e/a-voice-at-the-table-learning-from-lived-experience-tickets-1985054684999 Email: https://www.linkedin.com/in/azariah-hope-6b90551b0/ Website: https://www.futuresrerooted.co.uk/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/_azariahhope_/ Email: [email protected] Able to Care / Able Training Podcast: https://able-training.co.uk/podcast LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/able-training-ltd-/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/AbleTraining TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@abletocarepodcast YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@abletocarepodcast Guest background: Ethan St Pierre brings direct lived experience, alongside his work as a trainer and public speaker. Dr Alice Loving is a Family Intervention Specialist with expertise in attachment, trauma, parenting and child protection. Azariah Hope is Director of Futures Rerooted and brings direct lived experience of care, trauma, motherhood and long-term social work involvement, alongside consultancy and training work.

In Part 1 of this powerful two-part conversation, Andy Baker is joined by Ethan St Pierre, Dr Alice Loving and Azariah Hope to unpack what people most often get wrong about trauma, behaviour and labels. This episode explores why trauma is not always visible, why it should not be reduced to a single event, and how terms like attention seeking, manipulative, aggressive or perpetrator can block curiosity and shut down healing. For caregivers, teachers, parents and professionals, this is a thoughtful, honest discussion about fear, survival, identity and the danger of mistaking coping strategies for character flaws. If you support children, families or adults who have lived through adversity, this episode offers a more compassionate lens for understanding what behaviour might really be communicating. Why listen to this episode? If you work with children, parents or families affected by trauma, this episode will help you slow down your assumptions and look beneath the surface. You will hear lived experience and professional insight side by side, including why trauma is often misread, why labels can become harmful, and how fear can sit underneath behaviours that services often judge too quickly. It is especially relevant for anyone in children’s social care, education, foster care, therapeutic support or parenting. Three key messages:** Trauma is not always obvious, and it is often the lasting impact - not just the event itself - that shapes daily life, relationships and behaviour. Labels such as attention seeking, manipulative or aggressive can stop adults getting curious about what fear, stress or unmet need may be sitting underneath. Children and parents need spaces where behaviour is understood as communication, not just judged as risk, defiance or character failure. Timestamps / chapters: 00:00 - Welcome and first reflections on what people get wrong about trauma 01:48 - Ethan on trauma, pain and post-traumatic growth 04:12 - Alice on trauma, impact and intergenerational harm 06:36 - Why trauma is not defined only by the event 07:59 - Hyperarousal, hypoarousal and how fear shows up in parents 16:12 - When behaviour gets labelled aggressive, manipulative or attention seeking 17:01 - Azariah on why labels can block understanding 19:20 - Labels, diagnosis and the damage done when people feel written off 42:46 - End of Part 1 Resources mentioned / relevant links: Hopeful Disrupter event, London, 5 June - details shared during the episode. Ethan St Pierre Email: https://nurturingnaturecic.org/ Event: https://www.eventbrite.co.uk/e/a-voice-at-the-table-learning-from-lived-experience-tickets-1985054684999 Email: https://www.linkedin.com/in/azariah-hope-6b90551b0/ Website: https://www.futuresrerooted.co.uk/ Instagram: https://able-training.co.uk/podcast LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/able-training-ltd-/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/AbleTraining TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@abletocarepodcast YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@abletocarepodcast Guest background: Ethan St Pierre brings direct lived experience, alongside his work as a trainer and public speaker. Dr Alice Loving is a Family Intervention Specialist with deep expertise in attachment, trauma, parenting and child protection. Azariah Hope brings direct lived experience of trauma, care, motherhood and social work involvement, and now works through Futures Rerooted to bridge gaps between communities and professionals.

In this solo episode, Andy Baker explores one of the most common and emotionally loaded challenges in adult care, dementia support, residential services and home care: refusal. Too often, refusal is framed as non-compliance, defiance or “being difficult”. But what if refusal is actually communication? What if the behaviour is not about aggression, but about fear, vulnerability, pain, sensory overload, loss of control or a threat to dignity? This episode is especially relevant for paid and unpaid caregivers, support workers, care staff, parents and educators who want to better understand the people they support rather than simply control behaviour. Andy breaks down how personal care can feel threatening, why task-focused approaches can make things worse, and how a calmer, more relational response can reduce distress, protect trust and improve cooperation over time. He also introduces a practical framework - the 6 Cs - to help carers think more clearly in the moment and respond with more empathy, consistency and skill. Why listen to this episode? If you support someone who resists help, becomes distressed during care, or reacts strongly to tasks like washing, dressing, medication or personal support, this episode will help you: understand why refusal is often communication, not simple defiance reduce distress without power struggles or force protect dignity, trust and emotional safety during care tasks reflect more effectively on what is really driving resistance use the 6 Cs to improve care planning, consistency and outcomes Three key messages Refusal is communication, not just non-compliance. When someone resists care, there is usually a reason underneath it - fear, pain, shame, confusion, sensory discomfort, trauma, autonomy or distress. If you force the task, you may lose trust. You might get the immediate outcome, but at the cost of dignity, safety and future cooperation. Better care starts with curiosity, not control. The 6 Cs - comfort, consistency, connection, choice, competency and challenge - offer a practical way to understand what is driving the refusal and respond more effectively. Timestamps / Chapters 00:00 - Refusal is communication, not just non-compliance Why forcing a task may win the moment but damage trust, dignity and future cooperation. 00:30 - The scenario: when personal care turns into an incident A support worker tries to help, the person reacts strongly, and the story quickly becomes “they were being difficult”. 01:15 - Why personal care can feel like a threat How washing, changing, medication and support can trigger fear, vulnerability, sensory discomfort, embarrassment, trauma, pride or a loss of autonomy. 02:58 - The 6 Cs: a practical framework for understanding refusal Andy introduces comfort, consistency, connection, choice, competency and challenge as a real-time care tool. 03:10 - Comfort Is the person in pain, overloaded, disoriented, tired or physically uncomfortable? 03:32 - Consistency Why different staff doing the same task in different ways can increase distress - and why teams need better shared data, not just opinions. 05:55 - Connection before solution Why going in just to do the task often fails - and why relationship, rapport and human connection matter first. 07:02 - Choice, competency and challenge How offering real choices, preserving independence and recognising fluctuating ability can reduce resistance and protect dignity. 09:19 - A better practical approach to refusal Softening the approach, offering acceptable options, protecting dignity and pacing support more carefully. 11:04 - If they escalate, do not double down Why pausing, stepping back and lowering the demand is often safer and more effective than pushing harder. 12:52 - Refusal is data Whether in adult care, dementia support, parenting or education, refusal should be treated as information - not automatically as defiance. Resources mentioned Able Training - behaviour management, care training and practical support for professionals and services able-training.co.uk/podcast Targeting the Positive with Behaviours That Challenge by Andy Baker Andy refers to principles from his book throughout the episode. The Adaptive Caregiver Model: Walking With, Not Ahead: A Practical Guide to Dementia Care That Adapts to the Person, Not the Diagnosis https://www.amazon.co.uk/Adaptive-Caregiver-Model-Practical-Diagnosis/dp/1918283060 Able links Website: able-training.co.uk/podcast LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/able-training-ltd-/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/AbleTraining TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@abletocarepodcast YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@abletocarepodcast Final reflection If someone refuses personal care, medication or support, it is easy to focus on the task and miss the message. But behaviour is often the clearest communication a distressed person has. When we slow down, get curious and ask what has made this feel threatening, we give ourselves a better chance of responding with dignity, compassion and skill. If this episode helped, please like, follow, share or comment so more caregivers, parents, teachers and support staff can access the conversation.

In Part 2 of this two-part conversation, Andy Baker continues his discussion with Rhiannon Hughes, exploring how her lived experience in care now shapes the way she recruits staff for children’s homes - and why that matters so much. Rhiannon shares what she looks for beyond a CV, the difference between an adult who simply works in a children’s home and one who genuinely changes a child’s life, and why consistency, emotional steadiness and therapeutic care matter more than ever. This episode will be especially valuable for residential childcare staff, managers, foster carers, social care leaders, and anyone interested in trauma-informed practice, workforce development and improving outcomes for children in care. In this episode, we explore: What good staffing really looks like in children’s homes Why connection matters more than simply covering shifts The traits Rhiannon looks for when recruiting staff Why some adults build trust and others lose it quickly How lived experience can shape better leadership in children’s care Rhiannon’s vision for opening her own children’s homes Three key messages from this episode: Children’s homes need adults who do not take behaviour personally and who can stay emotionally steady when children are pushing them away. Recruitment in residential childcare should not just be about filling vacancies - it should be about finding adults who can build trust, safety and consistency. Real care means helping children build independence, confidence and practical life skills - not just supervising them through the day. Timestamps / Chapters: 24:20 - Part 2 begins: from lived experience to purposeful recruitment 24:20 - What Rhiannon looks for beyond a CV 25:39 - The difference between an adult who works in care and one who changes lives 26:49 - Why children who reject love often need it most 27:16 - Being the eldest sibling and carrying responsibility early 28:00 - Supporting her sister through homelessness and addiction 36:47 - Why Rhiannon wants to open her own children’s homes 42:52 - What she would do differently in children’s residential care 47:18 - Why care leavers should be encouraged back into the sector 47:51 - The one non-negotiable value she would build into her home 48:54 - Her message for young people who feel unwanted or unsafe Why listen to this episode: This episode is a powerful reminder that staffing is never just a numbers issue. In children’s homes, the right adult can change everything. Rhiannon brings a perspective that combines lived experience, care sector insight and a clear vision for doing things better. If you care about therapeutic care, stable teams, trauma-informed practice and building homes where children feel safe, seen and supported, this episode will give you plenty to reflect on. Resources mentioned / useful links: Rhiannon Hughes LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/rhiannon-hughes-a85469217?utm_source=share&utm_campaign=share_via&utm_content=profile&utm_medium=ios_app Residential Recruitment: http://www.residentialrecruitment.co.uk Contact Rhiannon: [email protected] Follow Able / Able to Care: Website: https://able-training.co.uk/podcast LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/able-training-ltd-/ TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@abletocarepodcast YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@abletocarepodcast Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/AbleTraining

In Part 1 of this two-part conversation, Andy Baker speaks with Rhiannon Hughes about her lived experience of growing up in care in both the UK and Spain, being separated from siblings, surviving instability, and carrying adult responsibilities from a very young age. Rhiannon shares what care felt like from the inside, what she needed most from the adults around her, and how trauma, inconsistency and loss shaped her journey. This episode will resonate with paid and unpaid caregivers, teachers, foster carers, parents and anyone supporting children with trauma, attachment needs or care experience. It is an honest, moving conversation about grief, survival, resilience and why the right adult relationships matter so much. In this episode, we explore: What it felt like to enter care as a child The impact of separation from siblings and repeated disruption Differences between care experiences in the UK and Spain What children in care really need from adults around them How trauma, survival mode and responsibility shape identity Rhiannon’s powerful story of helping her sister out of homelessness and addiction Three key messages from this episode: Children in care do not just need placements - they need consistency, patience and adults who keep showing up. Trauma can make children highly alert to people, threat and instability, so relationships must feel safe before they can feel meaningful. Lived experience can become a source of strength, empathy and purpose - but it often comes at a significant emotional cost. Timestamps / Chapters: 00:00 - Introduction and why this conversation matters 00:32 - Entering care at six years old due to abuse and neglect 02:15 - Foster care, children’s homes and sibling separation 04:01 - Moving to Spain and re-entering care overseas 05:19 - The grief of losing parents, home, siblings and safety 06:24 - What Rhiannon needed most from adults: consistency and patience 09:30 - The difference between care in Spain and the UK 12:13 - What resilience really cost her 15:49 - Leaving care, homelessness and falling through the gaps 19:16 - Finding purpose in lived experience and moving into care recruitment 23:42 - Why connection and consistency matter more than just filling staff gaps Why listen to this episode: If you work with children in care, support care-experienced young people, or want to better understand trauma from the inside out, this episode is essential listening. Rhiannon’s story is raw, honest and deeply human. It offers a powerful reminder that behind every behaviour is a history, behind every coping strategy is a survival story, and behind every “difficult” young person is often a child who has had to grow up far too soon. Resources mentioned / useful links: Rhiannon Hughes LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/rhiannon-hughes-a85469217?utm_source=share&utm_campaign=share_via&utm_content=profile&utm_medium=ios_app Residential Recruitment: http://www.residentialrecruitment.co.uk Contact Rhiannon: [email protected] Follow Able / Able to Care: Website: https://able-training.co.uk/podcast LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/able-training-ltd-/ TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@abletocarepodcast YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@abletocarepodcast Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/AbleTraining Coming next: Part 2 is released next Tuesday, where the conversation shifts into staffing, recruitment, children’s homes, therapeutic care, and what truly makes an adult change a child’s life.

Phones, screens, devices and social media are now part of everyday life for children and young people - but the arguments, sleep disruption, emotional fallouts and power struggles that come with them are leaving many parents, carers and professionals unsure what to do next. In this solo episode, Andy Baker explores why simply taking a phone away might bring short-term compliance but can also create long-term resentment, covert behaviour and bigger escalations. Instead of asking only how to stop screen use, Andy unpacks what the phone may actually be doing for a young person - whether that is offering connection, comfort, control, competence, distraction or dopamine regulation - and why that matters if we want to create real change. This episode will be especially useful for paid and unpaid caregivers, teachers, support staff and parents who want a more thoughtful, practical and trauma-informed way of managing screen-related behaviour. In this episode, Andy covers: Why the idea that “control equals safety” often backfires The difference between a design problem and a parenting problem Why blanket bans and fear-based responses rarely teach real regulation What phones may be doing for a child or young person emotionally How to replace power struggles with collaborative boundaries Why support, planning and alternatives work better than punishment alone Three key messages 1. The phone is often not the real problem A device may be meeting needs around connection, control, comfort, boredom relief, competence or anxiety management. If we only remove the phone without understanding its function, we usually create a bigger battle rather than a better outcome. 2. Punishment may stop the behaviour briefly, but it rarely teaches regulation Taking a phone away can produce short-term compliance, but it can also increase resentment, secrecy, escalation and rebellion if nothing healthier is put in its place. 3. Better boundaries are built through calm planning, collaboration and repair Andy shares a more effective route: agree boundaries when calm, offer choices, make expectations measurable, and plan for slip-ups so that responsibility grows instead of conflict. Why listen to this episode? If you support a child or young person who becomes dysregulated around phones, social media, gaming or screen time, this episode will help you think more clearly and respond more effectively. Rather than relying on threats, bans or constant arguments, Andy offers a more nuanced way of understanding behaviour that fits real family life, care settings and educational environments. It is a practical listen for anyone trying to balance healthy boundaries with empathy, emotional safety and long-term skill building. Timestamps / Chapter markers 00:00 Why taking a phone away can create more problems than it solves 00:21 Phones, screens, social media and the power struggles around them 00:58 Why this is not just a parenting issue, but also a design issue 01:35 The need for nuance - not every screen is harmful in the same way 02:29 Why blanket bans often increase desire rather than teach regulation 03:30 Andy’s free family commitment tool for safer screen use at home 04:32 How devices have become the modern threat, bribe and power lever 05:05 A real-life scenario: phone use, poor sleep and escalating conflict 06:05 Why the reaction does not always justify the trigger 06:23 What function the phone may be serving for a young person 07:29 Dopamine, distraction and why devices can feel hard to regulate 08:22 Why removing the strategy without replacing the need does not work 09:00 The key needs to explore: connection, control, comfort, competence and challenge 10:11 Practical strategies: reduce the need, offer alternatives and teach better regulation 12:11 A better approach: agree boundaries when calm 13:00 Give structured choices rather than forcing compliance 14:11 Make expectations clear and measurable 14:39 Plan for slip-ups and return to repair, not punishment 15:57 Free resource: Home Electronics Plan and Family Commitment Tool 16:33 Final reflections and takeaway message Resources mentioned Free resource from Andy Baker Home Electronics Plan and Family Commitment Tool Able Training website able-training.co.uk/podcast Andy’s book Targeting the Positive with Behaviours That Challenge (Referenced as part of Andy’s wider behaviour framework and approach.) Follow Able Website: able-training.co.uk/podcast LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/able-training-ltd-/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/AbleTraining TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@abletocarepodcast YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@abletocarepodcast If you’ve ever found yourself in a stand-off over a phone, this episode will help you step back, understand what is really going on, and build a more thoughtful plan that supports regulation, safety and healthier long-term habits.

In this episode of the Able to Care Podcast, Andy Baker speaks with Carmel Saulbrey, Managing Director of Niche Care Homes and founder of The Kindness Code, about what it really takes to build strong, resilient teams in children’s residential care. This conversation explores the emotional demands placed on staff, why therapeutic care is about far more than specialist interventions, and how kindness, consistency and workforce development can change outcomes for both children and the adults supporting them. If you are a caregiver, teacher, parent, foster carer or support professional interested in trauma-informed practice, therapeutic care, staff wellbeing, and children’s residential homes, this episode offers practical insight and real honesty. What this episode covers Andy and Carmel explore what makes a children’s home truly therapeutic on a day-to-day level, why staff burnout and turnover are such major issues in residential care, and how even good, caring adults can struggle under pressure when supporting children with trauma. Carmel shares why she believes kindness should be treated as a professional standard, not a soft extra, and explains how The Kindness Code was created to help staff practise therapeutic responses, build confidence, and embed training in real-life scenarios. Why listen to this episode? If you work with children who have experienced trauma, this episode will help you think more deeply about: how therapeutic care shows up in ordinary moments why good staff sometimes leave difficult roles how to support teams without losing boundaries what kindness really looks like when behaviour is challenging why workforce development matters just as much as child-centred practice This is a thoughtful episode for anyone who wants to build safer relationships, stronger teams and more consistent care. Three key messages 1. Therapeutic care is lived in the small moments. It is not just about specialist sessions - it is about how adults respond, repair, connect and stay calm in everyday interactions. 2. Kindness is not weakness. True therapeutic kindness includes warmth, boundaries, honesty and consistency, even when a child is distressed or dysregulated. 3. If we care for the team, the team can care for the children. Staff need support, confidence, practice and psychological safety if they are going to offer children the regulation and connection they need. Timestamps 00:00 - Introduction and Carmel’s journey into children’s residential care 00:46 - What makes a children’s home therapeutic in real life 02:02 - Why the emotional demand on staff is so high 06:13 - Why good people leave children’s care roles 11:10 - The difference between managing behaviour and building safety 15:45 - Everyday acts of love, regulation and belonging in children’s homes 20:01 - Why Carmel created The Kindness Code 24:27 - Using AI to help staff practise therapeutic responses 31:00 - The team culture needed to stay calm, kind and consistent 42:59 - Carmel’s hopes for The Kindness Code 46:22 - A closing message for exhausted residential support workers Resources mentioned The Kindness Code Training and practice support designed to help staff embed therapeutic kindness, build confidence, and respond more effectively in children’s residential care. Niche Care Homes Carmel’s children’s residential care homes focused on therapeutic practice, workforce development and creating better outcomes for children. The Kindness Code Podcast Mentioned as part of Carmel’s wider work and message around kindness, care and staff development. About the guest Carmel Saulbrey is the Managing Director of Niche Care Homes and founder of The Kindness Code. She is passionate about improving outcomes in children’s residential care by strengthening workforce development, supporting staff wellbeing, and helping teams embed therapeutic practice consistently. Carmel believes that by investing in compassionate, confident and well-supported teams, we create better environments for children and the adults who care for them. Connect with Able Website: able-training.co.uk/podcast LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/able-training-ltd-/ TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@abletocarepodcast YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@abletocarepodcast Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/AbleTraining

In this solo episode of the Able to Care Podcast, Andy Baker explores one of the most misunderstood behaviours in dementia care - pacing, repetitive walking and repeatedly saying “I need to go home”. Instead of dismissing this as “wandering”, Andy invites carers, teachers, parents and support staff to ask a better question: what is this behaviour trying to communicate? This episode looks at how repetitive behaviour can signal anxiety, sensory dysregulation, loneliness, discomfort, purpose, or an unmet need, and why correcting facts too quickly can make distress worse. If you support someone living with dementia, or anyone whose behaviour can become repetitive under stress, this episode offers a more curious, compassionate and practical way to respond. What this episode covers: Andy breaks down why repetitive walking is rarely pointless and is often a strategy to cope with stress, regulate the body, solve a problem or meet a need. He introduces a practical framework - See, Feel, Need, Do - to help supporters slow down, spot patterns, consider the emotional driver, identify possible unmet needs and respond in a more helpful way. He also connects this to the Human Motivation Triangle and the HELP model, showing how behaviour may be linked to human, emotional, location-based or physical needs. Three key messages: Repetitive walking is often communication, not “just wandering” What looks like wandering may actually be walking with purpose - searching, soothing, escaping discomfort, seeking connection or trying to complete something important. Correcting facts can increase distress When someone is anxious, telling them “this is your home now” or trying to stop the movement can land as confrontation rather than reassurance. Curiosity leads to better care Rather than asking “how do I stop this?”, ask “what need is underneath this?” Supportive responses such as walking with the person, offering purpose, reducing stimulation or creating a safer route can make a real difference. Timestamps: 00:00 - Reframing “wandering” as walking with purpose 00:30 - The care home scenario: pacing, checking doors and wanting to go home 01:15 - Why correcting the facts can make things worse 01:55 - Behaviour as strategy: unmet need, stress and regulation 02:45 - The Human Motivation Triangle explained 03:00 - The See, Feel, Need, Do framework 03:35 - What could the person be feeling? 04:00 - Could walking be sensory regulation? 05:15 - Practical responses that reduce distress 06:30 - Building a proactive plan instead of reacting late 07:55 - Using the HELP model to understand behaviour 08:35 - Why safe walking routes can work better than stopping movement 09:00 - Final takeaway: stop asking “how do I stop it?” and ask “what need is there?” Why listen to this episode? This episode is especially useful if you support someone living with dementia and want to respond more effectively to pacing, restlessness or repeated requests to go home. It is also relevant for parents, teachers and support staff, because the wider principle applies beyond dementia care: repetitive behaviour often communicates stress, discomfort or unmet need. If you want a calmer, more person-centred way to understand behaviour, this conversation will give you practical tools you can start using straight away. Resources mentioned: Able Training website: able-training.co.uk/podcast Andy Baker’s book: Targeting the Positive with Behaviours That Challenge - available via Able’s site and hub. Andy's & Meghan's book: The Adaptive Caregiver Model: Walking With, Not Ahead: A Practical Guide to Dementia Care That Adapts to the Person, Not the Diagnosis - available on amazon Listen and connect Podcast: Able to Care Podcast Able social media: Instagram: @AbleTraining LinkedIn: Able Training TikTok: @AbleToCarePodcast YouTube: Able Training YouTube If this episode helped you think differently about behaviour, please follow, share and leave a review so more carers, parents, teachers and support staff can find it.

What does it really mean to belong - and what happens when someone doesn’t? In this powerful conversation, Andy sits down with Dr Lisa Cherry to unpack one of the most overlooked drivers behind behaviour: the human need for belonging and mattering. Drawing on over 35 years of experience across education, care, and trauma-informed practice, Lisa shares how experiences like school exclusion, care placements, and relational disruption can shape identity, behaviour, and lifelong outcomes. This episode goes beyond theory. It explores what belonging feels like, how children communicate when they don’t have it, and why behaviour often makes more sense when you stop asking “what’s wrong?” and start asking “where do they belong?” Whether you’re a parent, teacher, or caregiver, this conversation will challenge assumptions, deepen empathy, and give you practical ways to create environments where people feel seen, safe, and significant. 🔑 Three Key Messages 1. Behaviour is often a search for belonging What we label as “challenging behaviour” is often a person trying to meet a basic human need - to feel accepted, safe, and significant. 2. Fitting in is not the same as belonging Fitting in requires changing who you are. Belonging allows you to be who you are. Confusing the two can lead to long-term emotional cost. 3. Small moments create big impact Micro-messages - remembering a name, noticing someone, showing up consistently - quietly communicate: you matter here. ⏱️ Timestamps (Chapters) 00:00 – Introduction and Lisa’s recent work in the US 01:20 – Why belonging matters and starting with “unbelonging” 04:00 – Care experience, movement, and identity disruption 08:45 – How to recognise when someone truly feels they belong 12:50 – Belonging vs fitting in (and why it matters) 19:00 – The impact of school exclusion on identity and safety 21:30 – Why people will always find belonging - even in harmful places 24:00 – Gangs, exploitation, and what systems get wrong 28:40 – When behaviour pushes people away - what’s really happening 32:30 – Don’t take behaviour personally (and how to practise this) 36:40 – Micro-messages: how schools signal belonging (or not) 43:40 – What a “Web of Belonging” looks like in practice 44:40 – Systems, conformity, and the cost of survival behaviour 51:30 – Supporting burnt-out staff and carers 53:00 – What to say when a child feels they don’t belong 56:00 – Conversations parents can have with schools 59:50 – Final reflections for children and adults 🎯 Why Listen to This Episode If you’ve ever thought: “Why are they behaving like this?” “Why won’t they accept help?” “Why does nothing seem to work?” This episode offers a different lens. It will help you: Understand behaviour through belonging, not compliance Build stronger relationships with children, young people, or those you support Reflect on your own experiences of fitting in vs belonging Shift from judgement to curiosity in everyday interactions 📚 Resources Mentioned Belonging & Mattering Audit Tool (Dr Lisa Cherry): 👉 https://www.lisacherry.co.uk/belonging-mattering-audit-tool Key themes explored: Belonging vs fitting in Mattering and significance Trauma and relational disruption School exclusion and identity Micro-messages in environments 👤 About the Guest Dr Lisa Cherry is an author, researcher, and international trainer specialising in trauma-informed practice and systemic change across education, care, and justice systems. With over 35 years of experience, Lisa has worked globally supporting professionals to better understand and respond to those living with the legacy of trauma. Her research at the University of Oxford explored how care-experienced adults make sense of belonging. She is the author of: Conversations That Make a Difference for Children and Young People The Brightness of Stars Weaving a Web of Belonging Caring for the People Who Care 🔗 Connect with Lisa Website: https://www.lisacherry.co.uk LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/lisacherryauthor/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drlisacherry 🔗 Connect with Able Training 🌐 Website & Podcast: https://able-training.co.uk/podcast 📘 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/abletrainingexperience  📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/abletraining 💼 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/able-training-ltd-/  💬 Final Reflection You’ll hear a lot in this episode about systems, trauma, and behaviour. But underneath it all is a simple question worth sitting with: Who feels like they belong in your world - and who might quietly feel like they don’t?

“He’s lying.” It’s a phrase heard in classrooms, homes and care settings every day - often said with certainty. But what if that certainty is where we get it wrong? In this solo episode, behaviour specialist Andy Baker challenges one of the most common assumptions in parenting, teaching and caregiving: that lying is always a conscious choice. Instead, he explores a deeper perspective - that behaviour, including lying, is often a strategy to cope with fear, shame, stress or lack of skills. Through a relatable school scenario and practical step-by-step guidance, Andy breaks down how our responses can either build honesty… or unintentionally teach children to hide. If you support children or vulnerable individuals, this episode will help you move from reaction to understanding - without losing boundaries. ⏱️ Timestamps (Chapters) 00:00 – “He’s lying” - the assumption we rarely question 01:00 – Behaviour as a coping strategy 01:40 – The school scenario: caught with the evidence 02:00 – Certainty vs understanding 02:30 – The hidden assumption behind “lying” 03:00 – Confirmation bias and labelling 03:30 – A better question: what was the behaviour doing? 04:00 – Stress, needs and behaviour explained 05:00 – Why punishment can make lying worse 05:30 – The 5-step approach begins 05:40 – Step 1: De-escalate the identity attack 06:30 – Step 2: Separate facts from feelings 06:50 – Step 3: Teach a replacement behaviour 07:30 – Step 4: Focus on repair, not punishment 08:00 – Step 5: Reflect when calm 09:00 – Why children can’t learn in survival mode 09:30 – Applying this beyond children (adults & dementia) 10:30 – When lying is actually confusion or memory 11:00 – The key takeaway: test before you label 11:30 – The arm-folding exercise (habit vs awareness) 12:30 – Final reflections and practical application 🔑 Three Key Messages Behaviour is often a strategy, not a character flaw. What looks like lying may actually be a child trying to cope with fear, shame or overwhelm. Punishment without understanding can reinforce the behaviour. If lying protects a child from distress, punishment teaches them to hide it better - not change it. Connection and curiosity create lasting change. When we understand the “why” behind behaviour, we can teach better skills instead of reinforcing fear. 🎯 Why Listen to This Episode? You’re a parent, teacher or caregiver dealing with “lying” behaviours You want practical strategies that go beyond punishment You’re looking to balance boundaries with empathy You want to understand behaviour at a deeper, psychological level You’re supporting children, young people or vulnerable adults under stress 📚 Resources Mentioned Able Target System (ATS) – Practical framework for behaviour support Book: Targeting the Positive with Behaviours That Challenge – Andy Baker 🌐 Able Training & Podcast Links Podcast: https://www.able-training.co.uk/podcast Website: https://www.able-training.co.uk LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/able-training-support Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/abletrainingsupport Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/abletrainingsupport 💬 A question to reflect on If a child feels safer lying than telling the truth… what does that say about the environment they’re in?

Autism can feel overwhelming - not just for the person experiencing it, but for the parents, caregivers and professionals trying to support them. In this powerful conversation, Andy Baker is joined by Dr Theresa Lyons - international autism educator, Ivy League scientist, and founder of Navigating AWEtism. Blending scientific research with lived experience as a parent, Theresa challenges some of the most common assumptions about autism and offers a different lens: one that focuses on understanding the biology behind behaviour. Together, they explore why so many families feel lost in conflicting advice, how behaviour can be a form of communication rather than something to “fix”, and what it means to move from overwhelm to clarity. This episode is particularly valuable for anyone supporting autistic individuals who wants a more evidence-informed, compassionate and practical approach. ⏱️ Timestamps (Chapters) 00:00 – Introduction and setting the scene 01:00 – Why Google gets autism wrong 03:00 – What an autism diagnosis actually measures 05:00 – Why autism is often misunderstood 07:00 – The role of health in autism (and why it’s often ignored) 09:00 – Diet, inflammation, and individual differences 12:00 – Can autism change over time? Understanding outcomes 15:00 – Myths that may be holding families back 18:00 – Identity vs diagnosis: an important distinction 20:00 – Sensory processing and the nervous system 23:00 – What support looks like after diagnosis (and what’s missing) 24:30 – Biology behind behaviour explained simply 26:00 – Why behaviour is communication 28:00 – “Is it autism or behaviour?” - a better way to think 30:00 – Cognitive ability vs communication barriers 33:00 – Non-speaking individuals and hidden intelligence 36:00 – New research and early biological testing 39:00 – Moving towards more personalised autism understanding 42:00 – Avoiding overwhelm: making evidence-based decisions 44:00 – The Navigating Autism Matrix explained 46:00 – Real-life changes families have experienced 49:00 – Restricted eating and what might be behind it 52:00 – Supporting autistic adults with compassion 54:00 – Seeing the person on their best day 56:00 – What to do when you feel overwhelmed as a caregiver 59:00 – Theresa’s mission and final reflections 🔑 Three Key Messages Behaviour is not random - it’s communication. Whether driven by environment, biology, or unmet need, behaviour always tells a story. Autism is currently diagnosed by observation - not biology. Understanding underlying health, sensory, and neurological factors can open up new ways of supporting individuals. Clarity reduces overwhelm. When parents and caregivers move from reacting to understanding, they make more confident, effective decisions. 🎯 Why Listen to This Episode? You’re overwhelmed by conflicting autism advice and want clearer direction You support a child or adult with autism and want to understand behaviour more deeply You’re interested in the science behind autism, not just the labels You want practical ways to support communication, wellbeing and development You’re looking for hope - without unrealistic promises 📚 Resources & Mentions Navigating AWEtism Platform – https://navigatingawetism.com Dr Theresa Lyons’ LinkedIn – https://www.linkedin.com/in/theresamlyonsphd/ Instagram – https://www.instagram.com/navigating_awetism/ TikTok – https://www.tiktok.com/@navigatingawetism Book reference (Amazon) – https://amzn.to/47nfk24 🌐 Able Training & Podcast Links Podcast: https://www.able-training.co.uk/podcast LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/able-training-support Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/abletrainingsupport Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/abletrainingsupport 👤 About the Guest Dr Theresa Lyons is an international autism educator, Ivy League-trained scientist (PhD, Yale), and parent of a child with autism. She is the founder and CEO of Navigating AWEtism, a platform designed to translate complex autism science into practical, actionable strategies for families. She has supported parents in over 21 countries, helping them move from confusion to clarity using evidence-based approaches. 💬 A thought to leave you with If behaviour is communication… What might change if we focused less on stopping it, and more on understanding it?

What if the biggest shift in behaviour support isn’t about techniques… but about how we think? In this solo episode, Andy Baker explores one of the most underrated skills in caregiving, education and parenting: intellectual humility. The ability to step back and question your assumptions can transform how you understand behaviour - whether it’s a child labelled “attention-seeking”, a student seen as “lazy”, or an adult perceived as “difficult”. Through relatable stories and practical examples, Andy challenges the way we interpret behaviour, showing how labels can block connection, fuel confirmation bias, and escalate situations. Instead, he introduces a more effective approach built on curiosity, emotional awareness, and understanding the hidden reasons behind behaviour. If you’ve ever felt stuck, frustrated, or unsure how to respond to behaviour that challenges - this episode will help you see things differently… and respond more effectively. ⏱️ Timestamps (Chapters) 00:00 - Attention-seeking vs connection-seeking: why framing matters 00:35 - The most underrated skill: intellectual humility 01:00 - Why we misread behaviour (and overestimate our understanding) 01:30 - The “bouncing ball” story: behaviour makes sense in context 02:30 - Why past experiences shape present reactions 03:00 - How small moments can create lasting emotional impact 04:00 - Invalidation, shame, and why “it doesn’t matter” doesn’t help 04:30 - The power of curiosity in behaviour support 05:00 - Why caregivers lose curiosity under pressure 05:30 - The problem with labels like “lazy”, “liar”, or “manipulative” 06:00 - How labels fuel confirmation bias 07:00 - Why labels create disconnection 07:30 - A better question: “Why this, why now?” 08:30 - Fixing vs managing behaviour - knowing the difference 09:00 - Communication beyond words: tone, body language and presence 10:00 - Why calm is the most practical intervention 10:30 - How assumptions leak through your communication 10:50 - De-escalation through alignment and connection 11:30 - Connection before correction in practice 12:30 - Key takeaway: labels create lazy thinking 13:00 - Why curiosity leads to better care and stronger relationships 13:30 - Turning curiosity into consistent practice (Able Target System) 🔑 Three Key Messages Labels aren’t explanations - they’re shortcuts. They often oversimplify behaviour and reinforce confirmation bias, limiting your ability to see the full picture. Behaviour always makes sense… in context. What looks like an overreaction might be completely logical when you understand someone’s past experiences. Curiosity creates connection - and connection changes outcomes. Asking “why this, why now?” helps you respond more effectively while maintaining boundaries and dignity. 🎯 Why Listen to This Episode? You’ll rethink common behaviour labels like “attention-seeking”, “lazy”, or “manipulative” You’ll gain practical tools to reduce conflict and improve communication You’ll learn how to balance empathy with boundaries You’ll understand how your mindset directly impacts the people you support You’ll walk away with a clearer, calmer approach to behaviour that challenges 📚 Resources Mentioned The Able Target System – A structured approach to behaviour support, de-escalation, and reflection Targeting the Positive with Behaviours That Challenge – Andy Baker’s book The Adaptive Caregiver (coming soon) – A model focused on improving wellbeing and quality of life through adaptive support 🌐 Links & Socials Website: https://www.able-training.co.uk/podcast LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/able-training-support Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/abletrainingsupport Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/abletrainingsupport A thought to leave you with: If the behaviour makes no sense to you… is that about them - or about the limits of your current understanding?

When people think about care homes, they often picture routines, medication, and maybe a bit of bingo. But what if the most important part of care is the part we can’t easily measure? In this episode, I’m joined by Surraya Sadr, Head of Wellbeing and Lifestyle at Mindful Care, to unpack what wellbeing in care settings really means - especially for those supporting people living with dementia. We explore the emotional reality of being the person everyone leans on, why wellbeing roles are often misunderstood or undervalued, and how small everyday moments - not big activities - are what truly shape quality of life. If you’re a parent, teacher, caregiver or support professional, this conversation will challenge how you think about behaviour, connection and what “good care” actually looks like. 🧩 About Surraya Sadr Surraya brings a powerful blend of experience across youth work, occupational therapy and dementia care. Former Dementia Care Coach in the NHS Led wellbeing across 40+ care homes and 50 staff Finalist at the National Dementia Awards (Best Wellbeing Lead) Now Head of Wellbeing & Lifestyle at Mindful Care Her work focuses on improving dementia care, staff wellbeing, and practical, person-centred approaches that actually work in real settings. 🔗 Resources & Links Mentioned Mindful Care: https://mindful-care.co.uk/ Wellbeing Forum (April 2026 – Anglia Ruskin University, Cambridge) Email Surraya: https://able-training.co.uk/podcast Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/abletraining/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/abletrainingexperience LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/able-training-ltd-/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@abletocarepodcast 💡 Three Key Messages 1. Wellbeing is not an “extra” - it’s the foundation If someone doesn’t feel safe, connected or understood, no amount of task-based care will meet their needs. 2. The most important work is often invisible The conversations, the noticing, the small adjustments - this is where real care happens, but it’s rarely measured or valued. 3. You cannot pour from an empty cup (even if you try) Burnout doesn’t arrive loudly. It creeps in through disconnection, anxiety and emotional exhaustion - and many carers ignore it until it’s too late. ⏱️ Timestamps (Chapters) 00:00 – Introduction 02:30 – What wellbeing roles really involve (beyond bingo) 06:00 – Why dementia care requires emotional skill, not just tasks 10:30 – Why wellbeing staff are undervalued in care homes 14:30 – Surraya’s journey into wellbeing and dementia care 18:30 – What’s improving in care homes (and what still isn’t) 22:30 – Signs you might be heading towards burnout 26:00 – Compassion fatigue and emotional load in care roles 30:00 – Why wellbeing fails in some care settings 34:00 – Adapting activities for different cognitive needs 38:00 – A real example of turning a struggling team around 41:00 – Why mental wellbeing is so hard to measure 45:00 – Realistic self-care (not bubble baths) 51:00 – How families can support wellbeing teams 55:00 – Common challenges shared in wellbeing forums 58:00 – Rethinking the “activities coordinator” role 1:02:00 – Final message: your worth as a caregiver 🎯 Why Listen to This Episode If you’ve ever: Felt like behaviour is misunderstood or labelled too quickly Been the one “holding everything together” for others Struggled with burnout, guilt or emotional exhaustion Wondered how to better support someone living with dementia Questioned why care systems focus more on tasks than people This episode will give you a different lens. Not a perfect framework. Not a checklist. But a more honest, human understanding of what care really requires. 🔄 A Thought to Take Away Surraya said something that stuck: “It’s not about big activities. It’s about the everyday moments.” And maybe that’s the challenge for all of us. Are we focusing on what’s visible… Or what actually matters?

Most behaviour doesn’t “come out of nowhere”. Whether you’re caring for a loved one with dementia, supporting a child with big emotions, or working in health, education or social care, there is nearly always a click, click, click moment before things escalate. In this episode, Andy Baker breaks down how to recognise early signs of distress, why logic often fails when the nervous system is activated, and what to do in those crucial seconds before behaviour takes off. For caregivers, teachers and parents, this episode offers practical tools for calmer responses, safer environments and stronger relationships – without slipping into control, shame or endless firefighting. Why Listen? If you ever find yourself thinking: “It came out of nowhere”, “They go from 0–100 instantly”, or “Nothing I say gets through”… …this episode gives you a different lens. You’ll learn how physiology drives escalation, how to reduce triggers you can influence, and how small adjustments can prevent big incidents. This is for anyone who wants fewer meltdowns, calmer homes, more regulated classrooms, and safer care settings. Three Key Messages Behaviour escalates physiologically long before it escalates visibly – if we miss the cues, we miss the opportunity. Connection beats correction in the early stages – logic only works once the nervous system feels safe. If you want fewer “big” incidents, get obsessed with the “small signals” – curiosity is the most underused de-escalation tool. Resources Mentioned Andy’s book Targeting the Positive with Behaviours That Challenge Able Training courses on behaviour management and de-escalation: https://able-training.co.uk/podcast Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/abletraining/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/abletrainingexperience LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/able-training-ltd-/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@abletocarepodcast

In this powerful and heart-opening episode, Andy sits down with Ruth Thompson, who leads the dementia carer support services at Dementia Adventure. Ruth has spent years helping families understand dementia in a way that is honest, human and full of possibility. Together, they explore what carers most fear, how to see the person behind the diagnosis, why communication needs to change, and how even the smallest “adventures” can rebuild confidence for both the person living with dementia and the carer supporting them. This episode is especially meaningful for caregivers, teachers and parents who want to better understand behaviour, reduce anxiety, build trust and reconnect with the person they support. Ruth offers practical tools, lived experience, and gentle reframes that help families breathe again – without pretending the journey is easy. 🔗 Resources Mentioned Dementia Adventure (organisation homepage): https://dementiaadventure.org Unpacking Dementia – Facebook Live Series: https://dementiaadventure.org/unpacking-dementia/ Friends & Family Support Sessions: https://www.linkedin.com/in/ruth-thompson-677454227/ Email Ruth: https://able-training.co.uk/podcast ✨ Three Key Messages 1. Dementia is a journey, not a switch. The person is still there. The relationship is still there. What needs to change is how we approach communication, expectations and support. 2. Carers deserve support, boundaries and moments of joy. Guilt is common – but unsustainable. Carers must learn to accept help, create small adventures for themselves, and celebrate small wins. 3. Adventure is anything meaningful. It doesn’t have to be a holiday. A cup of tea in the garden, a walk around the block or listening to old music together can reconnect identity, memory and emotion. ⏱️ Timestamps – Your Chapter Guide 00:04 – Welcome to Ruth Introductions and the meaning behind “Dementia Adventure”. 01:20 – What does dementia adventure really mean? How the organisation reframes life with dementia. 02:51 – Explaining dementia honestly but without hopelessness Why the journey metaphor matters. 05:10 – What unpaid carers fear most The questions they arrive with and the lightbulb moments that follow. 07:28 – “Seeing the person before the condition” in real life Separating dementia symptoms from personality. 09:39 – Staying curious about who the person is now Small communication tweaks that change everything. 12:12 – The power of shared support Why community reduces shame and breaks isolation. 13:10 – Moving from labels to understanding behaviour Unmet needs, curiosity and prevention. 15:08 – Boundaries that protect rather than punish Christmas examples, people-pleasing and saying what you need. 16:19 – Accepting help without guilt Why carers struggle – and why they shouldn’t. 17:05 – Is it still safe to go on holiday with dementia? How Dementia Adventure assesses needs and supports families. 18:41 – A powerful story of trust-building and anxiety reduction One couple’s transformation during a holiday. 23:46 – Why change of environment sometimes helps Nature, routine and regulating cognitive load. 26:21 – Long-term benefits of adventure Research, photos, memories and returning families. 27:53 – The impact on carers Reconnecting as partners, not just as carers. 30:14 – Community, connection and ongoing relationships How families support each other year after year. 32:30 – What levels of need can be supported? Mobility, tailored trips, family holidays and flexibility. 35:46 – The guilt conversation Mood, motivation and the emotional load of caring. 40:16 – Most common questions on Facebook Live “What one thing can make life better?” 41:32 – Small local adventures anyone can try Supported days out, memory cafés, walking groups. 43:10 – Why familiar adventures still count The value of routine, simplicity and joy. 46:58 – Tiny adventures to big adventures From forest walks to ziplining and overseas trips. 48:21 – What research is teaching us Brain health, lifestyle changes and unmet needs. 51:22 – Why person-centred care isn’t new – but still isn’t universal The systemic challenges behind good dementia practice. 52:13 – Final advice: one small adventure this week Something that makes you smile – and reconnects you both. 💡 Why Listen to This Episode? If you’re supporting someone living with dementia – professionally or personally – this episode will remind you that: You are not alone. You don’t need a magic wand. Behaviour makes sense when you understand the need beneath it. Small changes in communication often unlock big wins. You deserve care, rest, boundaries and moments of joy too. Ruth brings compassion, clarity and practical wisdom to a subject many people whisper about but desperately need help with. 📲 Connect with Ruth Thompson LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/ruth-thompson-677454227/ Dementia Adventure: https://dementiaadventure.org Unpacking Dementia Lives: https://dementiaadventure.org/unpacking-dementia/ 📲 Connect with Able Training / Able to Care Podcast website: https://able-training.co.uk/podcast Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/abletraining/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/abletrainingexperience LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/able-training-ltd-/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@abletocarepodcast

Violence and high-risk behaviour aren’t “just part of the job” – yet many caregivers, support workers and educators quietly accept them as unavoidable. In this solo episode, Andy challenges that belief head-on. Using a real-world adult-care scenario, he explores what truly drives escalation, why incidents often look sudden even when they aren’t, and how teams unintentionally slip into blame, shame and control rather than prevention, planning and compassion. This episode gives parents, teachers and paid or unpaid carers a clear, practical lens for understanding risk: how to catch behaviours at “2 or 3” instead of “10”, how to hold boundaries without punishment, and how to replace firefighting with detective-level prevention. Whether you support children, adults with complex needs, or older people living with dementia, this message applies across the board: safety is a design choice, not wishful thinking. 🔗 Resources Mentioned Able Target System – Shared language and proactive planning for behaviour support. Train-the-Trainer programmes – Behaviour, physical intervention, and safer de-escalation training. Free resources & episodes: https://able-training.co.uk/podcast ✨ Three Key Messages 1. Violence is not “part of the job” – and normalising it harms everyone. When staff internalise danger as inevitable, burnout, turnover and defensive cultures follow. 2. Prevention beats crisis management every time. Most incidents become “unmanageable” because the early warning signs at 2, 3, 4 and 5 were missed, dismissed or deprioritised. 3. Boundaries are not the opposite of compassion. You can keep people safe, uphold expectations and act firmly – without humiliating, punishing or controlling those you support. ⏱️ Timestamps – Chapter Guide 00:00 – Naming the problem Violence is not normal, and accepting it damages staff and services. 00:23 – Episode focus Understanding harm behaviours without falling into punishment or control. 00:37 – The scenario Adult services… doorway blocked, objects slammed, staff frozen. 00:55 – The myth of “nothing works with him” Why we must examine earlier moments in the escalation chain. 01:17 – Missed opportunities at 2, 3, 4, 5 Prevention overlooked because “I’ve got no time right now”. 01:35 – “No time” becomes an escalating factor When deprioritisation plants the seeds for crisis. 02:08 – Shame, blame and defensive reporting Why “it wasn’t my fault” cultures stop learning. 02:57 – Intellectual honesty in incident review What really helps teams grow. 03:02 – Control mode in crisis Why stressed staff instinctively reach for punishment. 03:34 – When staff feel unheard The emotional cost of devaluing carers. 03:43 – The core problem: prevention is undervalued Organisations over-invest in crisis training, under-invest in early planning. 04:06 – Detective mode vs firefighter mode A simple tool for designing safer responses. 04:50 – The danger of living in “firefighter mode” Burnout, repeat incidents and organisational fatigue. 05:21 – Boundaries without punishment You don’t have to choose between being kind and being firm. 05:58 – When safety becomes control Why ‘winning’ the moment is the wrong goal. 06:19 – Applications across sectors Schools, parenting, foster care, dementia support. 07:04 – Schools: consequence overdrive Rubbers forgotten = detentions? Why this culture harms learning. 07:52 – Parenting: avoiding “daily enforcement mode” Boundaries + nurture = secure, calmer behaviour. 07:49 – Trauma and misinterpreted control Why children with trauma histories escalate under pressure. 07:57 – Dementia care: prevention wins again Environment, routine and communication over correction. 08:05 – Designing systems, not depending on heroics Why proactive culture is the real safeguard. 08:21 – The Able Target System Shared language, safer staff, predictable support. 08:33 – Closing message If you found this useful, please like, comment and share. 💡 Why Listen to This Episode? This episode is for anyone who has ever felt: “We only ever get called when it’s already a crisis.” “I’m scared to set boundaries in case I escalate things.” “We’re reacting all day and never getting ahead.” “I love this work, but I’m exhausted by constant firefighting.” Andy gives you practical tools to shift from reaction to prevention, challenge unhealthy workplace norms, and hold boundaries with humanity. You’ll walk away with a clearer sense of how to keep yourself safe, support others with dignity, and reduce the emotional load on teams, parents and caregivers. 📲 Connect with Able to Care & Able Training Podcast Website: https://able-training.co.uk/podcast Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/abletraining/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/abletrainingexperience LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/able-training-ltd-/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@abletocarepodcast

Most cardiac arrests happen where we least expect them – at home, often in front of the people we love. Yet so many parents, carers, teachers and support workers quietly fear they’d freeze, forget what to do, or make things worse. This week’s guest, Rob Jones, understands that fear more intimately than most. Rob survived a sudden cardiac arrest in the middle of the night because his wife Ruby began CPR on their bedroom floor. Eighteen minutes later, paramedics took over – but it was her hands that kept him alive. In this episode, Rob shares the real experience of collapsing without warning, what his family lived through in those terrifying minutes, and what recovery actually feels like when your heart has stopped twice. He explains why CPR training isn’t just a workplace tick-box – it’s a life skill that every home, school and community needs. Rob and his wife now run The Idiopath, using lived experience to train others in CPR, resilience and real-world decision-making under pressure. This is an honest, hopeful, deeply human conversation that will speak to carers, parents, teachers and anyone who wants to feel prepared rather than powerless in an emergency. 🔗 Resources & Guest Links The Idiopath – Website: https://www.theidiopath.com/ The Idiopath – Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theidiopath/ Rob Jones – LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/rob-jones-8a2504161/ Contact Rob: https://metro.co.uk/2025/11/25/a-thud-night-started-worst-18-minutes-life-24790076/ Able to Care Podcast Hub: https://able-training.co.uk/podcast ✨ Three Key Messages 1. Doing something is always better than doing nothing. Once a heart has stopped, you cannot make the situation worse. Even imperfect chest compressions give someone a chance they wouldn’t otherwise have. 2. CPR is a family skill, not a workplace skill. Most cardiac arrests occur at home. CPR training matters just as much for parents, older children, carers and teachers as it does for clinical staff. 3. Resilience isn’t toughness – it’s adapting when life changes shape. Rob explains how trauma reshaped his identity, his energy, his limits and his choices, and how The Idiopath now helps others build practical, everyday resilience. ⏱️ Timestamps – Chapter Guide 00:05 – Welcome & opening Andy introduces Rob and the conversation begins. 00:27 – The night everything changed Rob collapses; Ruby realises something is terribly wrong. 01:11 – Ruby’s response under pressure Instinct, panic and the moment CPR begins. 02:22 – Hearing the 999 call back Rob describes the shock of listening to real panic. 03:29 – Processing what happened The surreal reality of causing distress you can’t remember. 04:09 – Waking in hospital Confusion, wires and the slow realisation of cardiac arrest. 05:55 – 18 minutes of CPR The statistical reality: survival and brain damage concerns. 07:18 – Ambulance arrival and transfer of care Why CPR before crews arrive matters most. 08:29 – Returning to “normal” life Work, recovery, setbacks and the second heart stoppage. 09:41 – When the defibrillator fires The moment Rob’s ICD restarts his heart. 10:38 – Rethinking life, stress and purpose Turning lived experience into service. 11:14 – The birth of The Idiopath Using real stories to educate and prevent more loss. 12:23 – The fear of doing CPR “wrong” Why you can’t make a dead person more dead. 13:44 – Common myths and barriers Hurting someone, legal fears, rescue breaths and reality. 16:34 – Hands-only CPR in real life What it looks like and what training does (and doesn’t) prepare you for. 18:59 – CPR songs, rhythm and real-world limitations From ‘Staying Alive’ to questionable modern hits. 21:15 – What learners really ask Dragging someone from bed, tight spaces, “what if…?” 23:31 – Fear of being sued Why the Good Samaritan principles protect responders. 24:41 – Why YOU need CPR training Parents, carers, teachers – and why home is the highest-risk environment. 26:03 – Connecting with other survivors Support groups, trauma, and lived experience beyond the arrest. 28:07 – When CPR fails Honest conversations about loss and statistics. 31:23 – Living after cardiac arrest Invisible recovery, fear, identity and resilience. 34:49 – The Idiopath’s five pillars of resilience Tools for stress, energy, emotion and adaptation. 37:04 – Why people book CPR after hearing Rob’s story Lived experience creates behaviour change. 39:17 – Why small businesses need CPR too Barbers, shops, youth clubs and the silent risks. 40:28 – One action for listeners If you do just one thing: learn CPR. 41:32 – CPR as an act of love Preparing your future self – and protecting those you care for. 43:00 – Teaching children CPR Why early exposure matters and how young kids can learn safely. 46:04 – Where to find Rob & The Idiopath Contact information and next steps. 46:35 – Closing message from Andy Take the nudge: learn CPR today. 💡 Why Listen to This Episode? This episode is for anyone who has ever quietly wondered: Would I freeze? Would I know what to do? Could I really save someone I love? Rob’s story strips away the myths, the guilt and the fear around CPR. He and Andy talk frankly about panic, recovery, trauma, resilience, and the emotional aftermath that textbooks never mention. Whether you're a parent, a care worker, a teacher, or simply someone who wants to be ready for the unthinkable, this conversation will leave you more confident, more informed and more compassionate toward yourself. You don’t have to be fearless – you just have to be willing. 📲 Connect with Able to Care & Able Training Podcast Website: https://able-training.co.uk/podcast Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/abletraining/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/abletrainingexperience LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/able-training-ltd-/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@abletocarepodcast

In this solo episode, Andy explores one of the most painful dilemmas in dementia care: When someone repeatedly asks for a loved one who has died, is telling the truth always the kindest thing to do? Using the scenario of Margaret – a woman living with dementia who searches anxiously for her husband – Andy explains why connection before correction is essential not only in dementia care, but also in parenting, teaching, trauma-responsive work, and supporting distressed adults. Through real scenarios and practical tools, Andy unpacks what distress really looks like, why a nervous system in panic cannot process facts, and how small relational shifts can reduce anxiety, prevent escalation, and build trust. Perfect for unpaid carers, family members, teachers, support workers and care-home staff, this episode gives you a compassionate roadmap for responding to distress without shame, fear or accidental cruelty. 🔗 Resources Mentioned Able Target System – Behaviour support framework for consistent, compassionate responses. Adaptive Carer Model – Care roles and strategies for dementia support. Andy’s Blog & Podcast Episodes on connection, communication, and behaviour. Training & Courses via Able Training: https://able-training.co.uk/podcast ✨ Three Key Messages 1. “Honesty” isn’t always kind – impact matters more than intention. Correcting someone with dementia can recreate the pain of bereavement again and again. Emotional truth often protects dignity better than factual accuracy. 2. Connection before correction is not optional – it’s the intervention. Whether in care homes, schools or families, a dysregulated nervous system cannot absorb logic. Safety first, facts later. 3. Behaviour is communication, not defiance. A person calling out for Teddy may be expressing fear, loneliness, confusion or sensory overload – not seeking information. Respond to the need, not just the question. ⏱️ Timestamps – Chapter Guide 00:00 – The emotional dilemma “Where’s my husband?” – is honesty kind or cruel? 00:20 – Why dementia changes how truth lands Painful reminders can hit like repeated fresh bereavements. 00:43 – Introducing Margaret’s story Anxiety, wandering, sensory triggers, and the search for Teddy. 01:17 – Why people still reorientate bluntly Training gaps, new staff, overwhelmed families, and assumptions. 01:54 – Intent vs impact Malice isn’t the issue – misunderstanding is. 02:39 – Honesty is contextual From Anne Frank to dementia care – when honesty can harm. 03:10 – Therapeutic truth Best-interest-led communication rather than literal accuracy. 03:50 – Capacity, reactions and emotional patterns How to judge whether reminding helps or harms. 04:41 – Connection before correction Empathy, grounding, validating feelings, calming the nervous system. 05:10 – What is Teddy really representing? Loneliness? Safety? Confusion? Emotional needs beneath the question. 05:40 – Why logic doesn’t reach a distressed brain Amygdala activation, panic, and the need for co-regulation. 06:25 – Prevention matters more than crisis management Noise, environment, routine, familiarity and reducing triggers. 07:14 – Emotional availability in care Slow steps, calm tone, small choices, predictable routines. 07:55 – Walking, redirecting & environment shifts Practical ways to settle a distressed person. 08:14 – Using these principles beyond dementia Schools, parenting, foster care, trauma, and dysregulated children. 09:03 – Why “I told you already” makes things worse Emotional orientation beats factual orientation every time. 09:58 – Trauma, time-travel and stress responses Why distressed behaviour isn’t disrespect or defiance. 10:40 – The risk of confrontation When challenging a belief creates threat rather than clarity. 11:20 – The big takeaway Connection isn’t a technique – it is the intervention. 11:54 – Tools you can use: Able Target System & Adaptive Carer Model How to structure responses without increasing power struggles. 💡 Why Listen to This Episode? This episode is for you if: You support someone with dementia and feel stuck between “being honest” and “being kind”. You work in education or care and want trauma-informed communication tools. You’re a parent struggling with repeated questions, meltdowns or emotional overwhelm. You want practical, compassion-first strategies that genuinely reduce distressed behaviours. You want to understand why logic fails when emotions run high – and what works instead. If you’re tired, overwhelmed or worrying that you’re “getting it wrong”, this episode brings clarity, relief and concrete steps you can use immediately. 📲 Connect with Able to Care & Able Training Podcast Website: https://able-training.co.uk/podcast Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/abletraining/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/abletrainingexperience LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/able-training-ltd-/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@abletocarepodcast

In this powerful and reassuring conversation, Andy speaks with Michelle Reshef-Ash, CEO of Dementia Prevention UK and a PhD researcher at University College London, whose work bridges cutting-edge research with real-world, accessible dementia-prevention support for families and communities. This episode unpacks the big questions that parents, teachers, carers and support workers ask every day: Can dementia really be prevented? How much do genes matter? What small changes genuinely make a difference when real life is busy, stressful or overwhelming? How do we talk about dementia without shame, fear or blame? Michelle offers clear, compassionate science, practical habit-building tools, and an honest look at the inequalities that shape people’s opportunities for good brain health. From supporting overstretched carers, to helping underserved communities, to empowering people in their 40s, 50s and beyond to take realistic steps – this conversation gives you hope without hype, and guidance without guilt. If you support others – or simply want to protect your own long-term wellbeing – this episode is packed with insight you can use today. 🔗 Resources & Links Mentioned Dementia Prevention UK – workshops, programmes and community tools: https://dementiapreventionuk.com/ Michelle Reshef-Ash (LinkedIn): https://www.linkedin.com/in/michelle-reshef-ash/ NHS App – track blood tests and biomarkers Topics discussed: Alzheimer’s gene APOE4, biomarker checks (vitamin D, cholesterol, BP), COM-B behaviour-change model, epigenetics, movement for mood, social connection benefits. ✨ Three Key Messages 1. Dementia prevention is about lowering risk, not promising certainty. The aim isn’t perfection – it’s improving quality of life and reducing vulnerability through realistic, sustainable habits. 2. Your opportunities shape your health as much as your motivation. People in underserved or stressful environments aren’t lacking willpower – they’re often lacking accessible, safe and affordable options. 3. Caregivers don’t need more pressure – they need compassion, boundaries and support. For carers, the most protective “brain health habit” is reducing self-blame and prioritising emotional wellbeing. ⏱️ Timestamps – Chapter Guide 00:00 – Welcome & setting the scene Storms, virtual chats and the big question: can dementia be prevented? 00:43 – Can dementia be prevented? Why prevention really means risk reduction – and why honest language matters. 02:13 – Understanding statistics & common misconceptions “My grandmother smoked till 96” – why anecdotes aren’t evidence. 02:43 – What does a brain-healthy life actually look like? Realistic habits, not Instagram wellness. 03:50 – Why brain health matters beyond dementia Quality of life, resilience, sleep, routine and long-term wellbeing. 04:39 – The dangers of “miracle cures” & misleading claims Smoothies, apps, supplements – and why humility is essential in brain science. 07:30 – Genetics, family history & the boat analogy Why having a gene increases risk but doesn’t seal your fate. 09:27 – Biomarkers everyone should check Blood pressure, cholesterol, vitamin D, iron levels – and why. 11:55 – Medication, risk and honest conversations with your GP How to explore alternatives safely. 13:42 – Dementia prevention also lowers other health risks Cardiovascular, diabetes, obesity, depression, anxiety. 16:53 – Seasons of life & being kind to yourself Why behaviour change isn’t linear and shouldn’t be guilt-driven. 18:14 – The first three changes that give the biggest payoff Movement, social connection, and reducing alcohol. 21:24 – Sleep, routine and tiny habit anchors Why predictability matters more than perfection. 25:59 – Habits come in groups How one small change often triggers others. 27:34 – Behaviour change without “just” or shame Why language matters when encouraging new habits. 28:47 – Dementia prevention in underserved communities Barriers, opportunities and the reality of daily stress. 32:47 – Affordable changes for real families Carrots, frozen veg, safe walking groups, social support. 36:27 – Supporting exhausted carers Compassion, boundaries, self-forgiveness and mental health as prevention. 40:57 – The importance of being known to services Why families should contact charities & social services early. 42:49 – Is it too late for older adults? Never. Change always helps – at any age. 47:22 – What changes when people understand their brain Movement, medication review, mindset shifts, empowerment. 51:36 – Memory lapses, panic and early warning signs The “Which D?” rule – Dementia, Depression, Vitamin D. 58:31 – Changing the conversation in families, schools & workplaces From fear to empowerment. 1:00:39 – The one kind step to take this week Book a GP appointment and be honest about your fears. 💡 Why Listen to This Episode? This episode is essential if you: Support someone with dementia or fear a diagnosis yourself. Work in education, care or community settings where brain health matters. Want practical, culturally aware, non-judgemental guidance. Feel overwhelmed, tired or guilty about your lifestyle and want realistic steps. Want to understand how trauma, stress, inequality and opportunity shape health. Need reassurance that it’s never too late to make meaningful change. Michelle brings depth without doom, hope without false promises, and compassion without judgement. 📲 Connect with Michelle Website: https://dementiapreventionuk.com/ LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/michelle-reshef-ash/ Email: https://able-training.co.uk/podcast Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/abletraining/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/abletrainingexperience LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/able-training-ltd-/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@abletocarepodcast

In this solo episode, behaviour specialist Andy Baker explores one powerful scenario that reveals the truth behind so many so-called “challenging behaviours”: they are not defiance, manipulation or greed – they’re survival strategies built in the past and carried into the present. Whether you’re a foster carer, teacher, parent, support worker or dementia practitioner, this episode gives you a clear lens for understanding why people repeat behaviours that no longer fit their current environment, and how we can respond with curiosity rather than judgement. Andy breaks down his motivation climate framework – unmet need, stress, and strategy – and shows how meeting needs and reducing fear leads to safer, calmer, more adaptive behaviour. You’ll hear real examples, practical steps, and trauma-informed approaches that work across education, care settings, parenting, learning disability support and dementia care. 🔗 Resources Mentioned Andy’s Book – “Targeting the Positive with Behaviours That Challenge” A practical guide exploring the Six-Stage TARGET model and the Able Target System. Able Target System – A trauma-informed, strengths-based behaviour support framework used across care, education and family settings. Atomic Habits – James Clear (Referenced concept: making habits obvious, easy, attractive and rewarding.) 🔑 Three Key Messages 1. Behaviour is a strategy, not a character flaw. Before reacting, ask: What need is unmet? What fear is present? What strategy kept them safe in the past? 2. Safety, certainty and control drive more behaviour than consequences ever will. When we remove shame and build predictability, behaviour improves because fear reduces. 3. Real change happens when we make old behaviours unnecessary, not when we punish them. Meeting needs, reducing stress and offering adaptive alternatives creates lasting change. ⏱️ Timestamps (Chapter Guide) 00:00 – The misunderstood behaviour: stealing food Why survival strategies look like “bad behaviour”. 00:25 – Introducing the scenario: Claire’s story How early neglect shapes unconscious responses long after safety returns. 01:28 – Yesterday’s logic vs today’s logic Why children (and adults) don’t simply “turn off” old coping strategies. 02:04 – The danger of labels and assumptions Greedy, manipulative, controlling? Or scared, uncertain and adapting? 02:48 – Confirmation bias in behaviour support When we decide the narrative too early, we start hunting for evidence to support it. 03:38 – Andy’s Motivation Climate Model Unmet need → Stress → Strategy (adaptive or maladaptive). 04:48 – Why some maladaptive behaviours were once perfectly adaptive Context is everything. Behaviour makes sense in the world it was born in. 05:47 – Proactive strategies that actually work Meeting needs, reducing stress, adding predictability, offering safe control. 06:39 – Reducing shame triggers Why calling out, teasing or “catching them in the act” backfires dramatically. 07:59 – Adding friction, not punishment Small adjustments that turn unhelpful habits into less appealing options. 09:11 – Broadening the lens across settings Schools: pencil stealing, avoidance, reassurance seeking Parenting: sneaking food, lying Adult care: swapping items for certainty Dementia: rummaging, packing, hiding items 10:06 – The key question: how do we make the behaviour unnecessary? Stopping isn’t enough – replacing is essential. 11:01 – Atomic habits and behaviour change Make the new behaviour easy, obvious, attractive and rewarding. 11:48 – The Able Target System How to apply these principles across any care or education environment. 🎧 Why Listen to This Episode? This episode is for you if: You’re tired of behaviour being labelled “naughty”, “attention seeking”, or “manipulative”. You want a trauma-informed way to interpret actions before reacting. You support children or adults with histories of neglect, trauma, learning disability or dementia. You want practical, compassionate strategies that actually reduce behaviours rather than suppress them. You want to improve connection, safety and trust in your home, classroom or service. You will walk away with a new way of thinking – one that brings empathy, clarity and confidence to the most confusing behaviours. 📲 Connect with Able to Care & Able Training Website: https://able-training.co.uk/podcast Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/abletraining/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/abletrainingexperience LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/able-training-ltd-/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@abletocarepodcast

If you’re a parent, teacher, or caregiver wondering “Why is this child always in trouble at school?” this conversation will land. Dr Neil Alexander-Passe – teacher, researcher, exam access assessor, and author – unpacks what schools often misread in neurodivergent behaviour (dyslexia, ADHD, autism), why “naughty” can be a disguised help request, and how shame, repeated failure, and isolation-style discipline can build school-based trauma. You’ll also hear practical steps for spotting needs early, how to push for screening and support, and how simple shifts (like not doing your child’s homework for them) can create the evidence schools can’t ignore. Neil also connects the dots to the “school-to-prison pipeline” – not as scare-mongering, but as a systems warning and a call for earlier, wiser intervention. Chapter timestamps (for easy listening) 00:00 – Why neurodivergent children are “always in trouble” at school 03:10 – The three groups teachers often see: “naughty”, “quiet”, and “middle” 05:33 – What school feels like from the inside with dyslexia and ADHD: shame, threat, learned helplessness 12:52 – “School-to-prison pipeline” explained in plain terms 13:52 – Hidden literacy needs and prison systems that assume reading and writing 19:06 – What adults misread: disruptive behaviour as a masked request for help 22:40 – EBSA, school distress, and why “avoidance” can be the wrong frame 31:22 – Homework: why doing it for your child backfires – and what to do instead 34:59 – Language that shapes mindset: grades vs effort, global labels vs specific feedback 38:19 – Practical screening clues: early signs of dyslexia, ADHD, and autism 44:05 – Rebuilding identity after “I’m stupid” / “I’m the bad kid”: strengths, passions, and the right tutor 47:25 – Post-school success: neurodivergent strengths, entrepreneurship, and support networks (including AI tools) 52:09 – A message for exhausted teachers: ask “why” before punishment 54:26 – Hope: inclusion awareness and the changing role of SENCOs 56:16 – Parent takeaway: don’t wait, raise concerns early, and don’t be pushed into removing your child 57:55 – Mainstream vs specialist provision, EHCP realities, and why Year 5 timing matters 01:04:12 – Neil’s upcoming books (including neurodivergent entrepreneurs) Three key messages Behaviour is often communication – and “naughty” can be a child protecting themselves. Avoidance, clowning, shutdowns, and meltdowns can be self-protection when work feels impossible or humiliating. Early identification beats late consequences. Neil argues primary school is the best window for meaningful observation and support – because secondary systems can become too fragmented to “see” the child properly. Stop feeding shame – in school and at home. Public failure, isolation-style discipline, and “I’m rubbish at…” language create learned helplessness. Specific feedback, effort-focused praise, and strengths-based identity building can change trajectories. Resources mentioned in the conversation Screeners and early identification: Neil recommends parents do their own initial research and use screeners for dyslexia, ADHD, and autism, then push the school with something concrete rather than “my child is struggling”. EBSA and school distress: the idea that what’s labelled “emotionally based school avoidance” may often be better understood as school-based distress caused by the environment. EHCP, PRU, managed moves: discussion of how systems and placements can unintentionally intensify difficulties when underlying needs aren’t properly supported. Homework boundary strategy: allow a set time (eg 30–40 minutes), stop, then add a note stating how long your child worked and what they managed – so home and school evidence matches. Martin Seligman’s work: shifting from global labels (“I’m rubbish at maths”) to specific struggle areas – and focusing praise on effort rather than grades. Using AI as an accessibility tool: an example of simplifying language (eg menus) to support independence and reduce shame. Why listen to this episode Because it challenges a common (and tempting) assumption: “They’re in trouble because they’re choosing it.” Neil keeps pulling the lens back to systems, shame, and unmet needs – and that’s uncomfortable in a useful way. If you’re supporting a child who’s labelled disruptive, withdrawn, lazy, or “always in isolation”, this episode gives you language, framing, and next steps that are practical – not fluffy. About Dr Neil Alexander-Passe Dr Neil Alexander-Passe is a London-based teacher, researcher, author, and exam access assessor specialising in the emotional lived experience of learning differences. He completed a PhD in 2018 on dyslexia, traumatic schooling, and post-school success, and has published multiple peer-reviewed papers and books exploring dyslexia, ADHD, autism, trauma, and outcomes including the “school-to-prison pipeline”. Featured / upcoming books mentioned The Mind and Motivation of Neurodivergent Entrepreneurs (DIO Press). Neil also mentions a forthcoming 2026 title on dyslexia, art, and school-based trauma (as discussed in the closing minutes of the episode). Connect with Dr Neil Alexander-Passe LinkedIn: Dr Neil Alexander-Passe Follow Able to Care / Able Training 🌐 Podcast hub: www.able-training.co.uk/podcast  📲 Instagram: @AbleTraining 📲 LinkedIn: Able Training 📲 TikTok: @AbleToCarePodcast 🌐 Website: Able Training 📲 LinkedIn: Andy Baker

In this solo episode, behaviour specialist and author Andy Baker unpacks one of the most overlooked parts of behaviour support: what happens after the incident. Whether you’re working in a school, supporting adults in care, or navigating tough moments at home, the post-incident debrief is often where the real growth happens – yet most settings rush it, avoid it, or unintentionally turn it into another punishment. Andy breaks down why restorative conversations fail when done too soon, too harshly, or with the wrong focus, and offers a simple, practical framework for debriefing that protects dignity, reduces shame, builds connection and genuinely improves future behaviour. This episode is essential listening for caregivers, parents, teachers, support workers and anyone navigating distress or dysregulation in others. 🧰 Resources Mentioned Andy's Book – Targeting the Positive with Behaviours That Challenge A practical guide featuring the full Six-Stage TARGET Model and the PERFORM Debrief Framework. (Listeners are directed to the link in your episode description.) Able Target System – Trauma-informed, restorative, person-centred behaviour support framework embedded throughout Andy’s training and consultancy. 🔑 Three Key Messages Debriefing is learning, not punishment. If all we take from an incident is a report form and a bruise, we’ve wasted pain that could have become insight. Restorative practice only works when shame is removed. When people feel heard, their brain reopens to learning. When they feel shamed, reflection shuts down. Boundaries and humanity belong together. Restorative approaches don’t remove limits – they strengthen them by pairing accountability with connection. ⏱️ Chapter Timestamps 00:00 – Why debriefing matters more than we think The hidden stage most settings skip – and why outcomes suffer when they do. 00:24 – Where schools, care services and parents go wrong Common mistakes: retraumatising conversations, shame responses, and “confession-based” debriefs. 01:14 – Learning from incidents: the fire analogy Why incident forms aren’t enough without meaningful reflection. 02:23 – Why we avoid debriefs Shame, fear of judgement, time pressures and the myth that “they won’t learn anyway”. 03:33 – Punishment vs restorative learning Why consequences don’t automatically create insight. 04:12 – Supporting the adults too The emotional impact on staff and caregivers – and what reflective practice should include. 05:26 – The PERFORM Debrief Script A step-by-step walkthrough: P – Prepare E – Explore the story R – Reflect on feelings and needs F – Feedback on impact O – Ownership through repair R – Responsibility for next time M – Map the future 08:53 – A real-life story: shouting match avoided How one parent transformed a tense evening into connection through the right questions. 10:18 – Why shouting never teaches what we think it does Fear creates compliance, not growth. 12:14 – The true purpose of restorative practice Connection, rehearsal, emotional safety and future-proofing behaviour. 13:34 – Behaviour is like the weather How to become the “behaviour weatherman” through the TARGET model and emotional insight. 🎧 Why Listen to This Episode? This episode will help you if: You want to repair relationships after meltdowns, crises or confrontations. You support children or adults who experience overwhelm or dysregulation. You feel stuck repeating the same incidents without seeing change. You want a script, not just theory. You’re trying to build a culture of safety, dignity and accountability. If you’re a parent, teacher, care worker, foster carer, SENCO, TA, support worker or leader in education or care, this episode will give you grounded, real-world tools to use today. 📲 Connect with Able to Care & Able Training Podcast Website: https://able-training.co.uk/podcast Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/abletraining/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/abletrainingexperience LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/able-training-ltd-/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@abletocarepodcast

What if preparing for the future wasn’t morbid… but empowering? In this episode, I sit down with Vicky Jones, founder of Ourlives, former social care director, mum of two, and someone who learned early in life that everything can change with a single knock at the door. Drawing on 25 years in health and social care, her own ADHD diagnosis, sobriety journey, and the sudden loss of her father, Vicky is on a mission to stop people waiting for crisis before taking action. Whether you’re a paid carer, an unpaid family caregiver, a teacher supporting overwhelmed families, or a parent trying to balance your own future alongside your children’s, this conversation offers something essential: clarity, calm, and a roadmap for what so many people avoid thinking about until it’s too late. We unpack why people discount their future selves, the emotional blocks that stop families having conversations they desperately need, and the key steps every adult should take long before aging, illness or caring responsibilities hit. 🌐 Resources & Links Mentioned Ourlives – Future planning community & tools Website: https://www.ourlivesapp.com Life Audit (free questionnaire): Add link once live Connect with Vicky Jones LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/victoria-jones-2906ab83 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ourlivesapp TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@ourlivesapp Email: https://able-training.co.uk/podcast Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/abletraining/  Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/abletrainingexperience  LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/able-training-ltd-/  YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@abletocarepodcast 

If you’ve ever felt like you’ve “tried everything” with a child or adult showing distressing behaviour—this episode is for you. In this solo episode, Andy Baker, behaviour specialist and author of Targeting the Positive with Behaviours That Challenge, breaks down the misunderstood world of Positive Behaviour Support (PBS). With real-life examples and practical insights, Andy explores why PBS is more than a poster on the wall. It’s a mindset and a method—rooted in assessment, adaptation and empathy. Whether you’re a caregiver, teacher, or parent, this episode offers a compassionate and science-backed look at how to reduce distress, not just manage behaviour. 🧰 Resources Mentioned 📘 Targeting the Positive with Behaviours That Challenge by Andy Baker: Buy on Amazon 🧠 The Able Target System: able-training.co.uk/ats 🖥️ Learn more about Able Training’s behaviour courses: www.able-training.co.uk/podcast 🧩 Three Key Messages PBS isn’t soft—it’s strategic. It’s about analysing the function of behaviour, not just punishing the form. Every behaviour has a benefit. If you don’t see it, you’re not asking the right question yet. Focus on skill-building, not shaming. Replacement behaviours work best when they meet the same need in a safer way. ⏱️ Chapters & Timestamps 00:00 – Behaviour vs Punishment: Why "we’ve tried everything" often isn’t true 00:42 – What is Positive Behaviour Support?: A real-world breakdown 01:08 – Integrating Trauma-Informed Practice: Going beyond the behaviour 02:01 – The 6-Stage TARGET Model: Andy’s unique approach to PBS 03:43 – Real-World Example: Head-Scratcher Strategy 06:19 – Skill-Building vs Compliance: Teaching safer ways to meet needs 07:42 – Autonomy and the Competing Pathway 08:29 – Why PBS Often Fails (and how to fix it) 10:21 – Book Excerpt: Weathering Behaviour with Insight 🤔 Why Listen to This Episode? If you’re a parent or carer constantly firefighting distress without long-term change If you’re a teacher struggling to apply behaviour policies to neurodiverse students If you want a clear, compassionate alternative to sanctions, shame, and suppression This episode offers tools you can start using today—rooted in neuroscience, not guesswork. 🔗 Connect with Us 🌐 Podcast hub: www.able-training.co.uk/podcast 📲 Instagram: @AbleTraining 📲 LinkedIn: Able Training 📲 TikTok: @AbleToCarePodcast 🌐 Website: Able Training 📲 LinkedIn: Andy Baker  

In this deeply moving and often joyful episode of the Able to Care podcast, Andy Baker is joined by Peter Berry, who lives with Alzheimer’s, and Deb Bunt, author, counsellor and Peter’s close friend. Together, they explore what it truly means to live well with dementia — not through clinical labels or deficits, but through friendship, dignity, purpose and shared humanity. This conversation will resonate strongly with family carers, professional caregivers, teachers and anyone supporting someone with additional needs, as it challenges common assumptions about memory, identity and “loss”. Peter and Deb share honest reflections on diagnosis, stigma, trust, cycling challenges, writing together, and the idea of being an “external memory” — all grounded in a relationship that prioritises connection over care and moments over memories. ⏱️ Episode Chapters (Timestamps) 00:01 – Living with a dementia diagnosis: shame, silence and the turning point 05:30 – Purpose, advocacy and planting a new future 06:30 – Not being defined by dementia 08:45 – Dignity, stigma and the “shabby coat” metaphor 13:50 – Living in the moment and finding joy 17:10 – Metaphors, meaning and communicating the unsayable 19:20 – Cycling, challenge and staying active 25:50 – Life after diagnosis: what is still possible 33:15 – “External memory”, trust and friendship 41:45 – Making moments, not memories 47:00 – Support versus care and mutual relationships 56:05 – Messages for those newly diagnosed or supporting someone 59:05 – Books, advocacy and what comes next 💡 Three Key Messages from This Episode Dementia does not erase identity Peter is not “a person with dementia” — he is Peter. Diagnosis may change memory, but it does not remove personality, humour, values or worth. Dignity is shaped by how we respond As Peter powerfully explains, dignity isn’t taken by dementia itself, but by how others react to the label. Compassionate responses preserve humanity. Moments matter more than memories You may not be able to create lasting memories — but you can always create meaningful moments. Joy exists in the here and now. 📚 Resources Mentioned in the Episode Slow Puncture – Living Well with Dementia Available in print, Kindle and audiobook Walk with Me – Musings Through the Dementia Fog Patching the Puncture – Continuing to Live Well with Dementia (Released February 2026) 👉 Pre-order: https://bookguild.co.uk/bookshop/memoir/patching-the-puncture 🌐 Peter & Deb’s website and media appearances: https://www.peter-berry.com 🎧 Why Listen to This Episode? If you support someone living with dementia — professionally or personally — this episode offers hope, clarity and a reframe. You’ll gain: A deeper understanding of memory, identity and emotional connection Practical insights into supporting someone without diminishing them Reassurance that life, joy and purpose do not end with diagnosis A reminder that friendship, humour and dignity still matter deeply This is not a conversation about “managing dementia” — it’s about being human together. 🔗 Connect with Our Guests Deb Bunt – Author & Advocate LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/deb-bunt-ab247524/ Instagram: @deb.bunt Twitter/X: @debbunt Peter Berry – Living with Alzheimer’s Facebook: Peter Berry Living with Alzheimer’s Website & media: https://www.peter-berry.com 🌍 Able to Care – Links & Social Media 📲 Instagram: @AbleTraining 📲 LinkedIn: Able Training 📲 TikTok: @AbleToCarePodcast 🌐 Website: Able Training 📲 LinkedIn: Andy Baker  

Why trauma-informed practice isn’t soft — it’s smart, strategic, and essential for real behavioural change. In this solo episode of the Able to Care podcast, behaviour specialist Andy Baker unpacks a powerful mindset shift: what if “won’t behave” is really “can’t cope”? With relatable examples from schools, care settings and families, Andy explores how trauma impacts the nervous system, why traditional discipline strategies often backfire, and how a more compassionate, strategic approach creates better outcomes for everyone. If you support children or adults with complex needs, this episode offers practical insights to rethink behaviour, build connection, and respond with clarity—not just consequences. 📚 Resources Mentioned Book: Targeting the Positive with Behaviours That Challenge by Andy Baker Order now on Amazon UK Able Training – Trauma and Attachment Courses https://www.able-training.co.uk 💡 Three Key Messages Behaviour is Communication: What looks like defiance is often the nervous system protecting itself. Language and Goals Matter: Swap “What’s wrong with you?” for “What happened to you?” and “Compliance” for “Safety.” Connection Before Correction: Build trust and co-regulation before expecting behavioural change. ⏱️ Timestamps / Chapters 00:00 – Why trauma isn’t a behaviour problem 00:57 – The story of Ryan: behaviour in context 03:01 – Understanding fight, flight, freeze and fawn 04:49 – The brain’s alarm system and trauma response 07:35 – The behaviours we misinterpret: defiance, shutdown, hyperactivity 08:58 – Shame, punishment, and internalised beliefs 09:18 – Language swap: from blame to curiosity 10:05 – Goal swap: from control to safety 11:00 – Strategy swap: from punishment to teaching regulation 12:03 – The golden question: “What are you trying to protect right now?” 🎧 Why Listen to This Episode Whether you're a teacher facing ‘challenging’ behaviour in the classroom, a foster carer navigating emotional outbursts, or a support worker helping someone who keeps shutting down—this episode reframes what behaviour really means. Learn how trauma impacts the body and brain, and why responding with curiosity and connection changes everything. 🔗 Connect with Us 🌐 Website & Podcast Hub 📸 @AbleTraining 💼 Able Training 📲 TikTok: @AbleToCarePodcast

What happens when the person you once cared for… becomes the person you are? In this deeply moving and insightful episode of the Able to Care podcast, host Andy Baker speaks with Michael Booth – dementia educator, author, and advocate – who brings a rare dual perspective to the conversation. Michael first cared for his mother, Christine, through young onset dementia. Then, just months after she passed away, he received the same diagnosis himself, at just 46 years old. Now 51, Michael is defying expectations. He’s speaking out, mentoring others, and sharing his powerful message: dementia is not the end. This conversation challenges misconceptions about identity, memory, and diagnosis – and offers practical guidance for anyone supporting a loved one with dementia. If you're a parent, teacher, or caregiver, this episode will help you better understand distress behaviours, communication, and how to stay present when everything feels uncertain. 📚 Resources Mentioned 📖 Dementia: You Are Not Alone by Michael Booth – Order on Amazon 🏥 Tees, Esk and Wear Valleys NHS Trust – Website 🌐 Able Training Podcast Archive – able-training.co.uk/podcast 💬 Three Key Messages Dementia is not the end – A diagnosis does not erase who someone is. Behaviour is communication – Even ‘aggression’ often signals distress, confusion, or unmet need. Perspective matters – Understanding dementia through both the eyes of a carer and the person living with it changes everything. ⏱️ Timestamps & Chapters 00:00 – What if the person you cared for became you? 03:00 – What it feels like to live with dementia day to day 06:20 – Lessons from caring for his mum Christine 10:40 – Receiving his own diagnosis at 46 17:00 – What people get wrong about identity and dementia 22:00 – Can you still enjoy life after a dementia diagnosis? 26:00 – What really helps on a good day 30:00 – Writing Dementia: You Are Not Alone 36:00 – How services need to change 50:00 – If you’ve just had a diagnosis: Michael’s message to you 🎧 Why Listen to This Episode? Gain insight into young onset dementia from both carer and lived experience Understand how language, environment, and expectations shape support Learn how to build emotional safety when words are lost but feelings remain Be inspired by Michael’s resilience, clarity, and practical wisdom This is a must-listen for anyone navigating dementia – professionally or personally. 🔗 Connect with Michael Booth 📘 Dementia: You Are Not Alone – Buy on Amazon 💼 Michael Booth on LinkedIn 🔗 Connect with Able Training & Podcast 🌐 Website & Podcast Hub 📸 @AbleTraining 💼 Able Training

If you’ve ever supported someone living with dementia and been faced with shouting, swearing, hitting, or refusal of care, this episode is for you. In this solo episode, Andy Baker unpacks one of the most misunderstood areas of dementia care: behaviour that looks aggressive but is almost always communication driven by distress. Drawing on years of experience in behaviour support, Andy helps caregivers, teachers, and parents move away from labels like “challenging” or “difficult” and instead understand what the behaviour is trying to say. You’ll learn why dementia affects far more than memory, how fear, pain, confusion, trauma, overstimulation, and even poor care practice can drive behaviour — and most importantly, what to do in the moment. Andy shares a simple, practical three‑step response framework and language you can use immediately to de‑escalate situations while protecting your own wellbeing. This episode is especially valuable for anyone feeling exhausted, overwhelmed, or unsure whether they’re “handling things right”. ⏱️ Episode Chapters (Timestamps) 00:00 – Aggression or communication? Reframing behaviour in dementia 00:49 – Why dementia affects personality, perception, and processing 01:10 – Why behaviour becomes the fastest communication channel 02:22 – Fight, flight, and the safety of saying “no” 03:30 – From “challenging behaviour” to “distress behaviour” 04:19 – Hidden drivers: pain, fear, trauma, overstimulation, under‑stimulation 05:12 – When behaviour isn’t dementia — it’s poor care 06:07 – A simple 3‑step response framework 06:29 – Step 1: Pause, protect, and regulate yourself 06:58 – Step 2: Scan for unmet needs (HELP model) 07:31 – Step 3: Adjust, connect, and reduce distress 08:13 – What to say when someone is frightened or overwhelmed 09:05 – The HEART approach: Hear, Empathise, Align, Reassure, Transition 10:26 – Why “calm down” doesn’t work 10:51 – Caregiver regulation and burnout 11:52 – The core message: behaviour is communication 12:22 – Resource: Targeting the Positive 🧩 Three Key Takeaways Aggression in dementia is rarely intentional What looks like defiance or hostility is often a terrified brain trying to cope with confusion, pain, or fear. Behaviour makes sense when you understand the context Distress behaviours are often driven by unmet physical, emotional, cognitive, or environmental needs — not the diagnosis itself. You can’t calm someone else if you’re dysregulated Supporting distress starts with your own regulation. Compassionate care requires supported carers. 🛠️ Resources Mentioned Targeting the Positive with Behaviours That Challenge by Andy Baker A practical, person‑centred guide to understanding and responding to distressed and dysregulated behaviour across dementia, trauma, neurodiversity, and mental health. Click here to find out more 🎯 Why Listen to This Episode? You’re supporting someone with dementia and struggling with aggression, refusal, or distress You want practical language and tools, not theory You’re tired of feeling blamed, judged, or unsure You want to support others without losing yourself You believe behaviour has meaning — and want to understand it better This episode offers reassurance, clarity, and immediately usable strategies grounded in empathy and realism. 🔗 Connect with Able 📲 Instagram: @AbleTraining 📲 LinkedIn: Able Training 📲 TikTok: @AbleToCarePodcast 🌐 Website: Able Training

In this episode of the Able to Care Podcast, Andy is joined by Gary Derbyshire, live‑in care business owner and care advocate, for an honest and practical conversation about what live‑in care really looks like in everyday life. Together, they unpack how live‑in care differs from domiciliary care and residential care homes, why it can be a powerful option for people living with dementia, learning difficulties, anxiety, or complex needs, and how it can dramatically reduce stress and burnout for unpaid family carers. This episode is especially relevant for parents, teachers, and caregivers who are supporting someone vulnerable, feeling overwhelmed, or unsure what “the next step” should be. Gary shares real examples, clears up common fears, and explains how joined‑up, preventative support can protect dignity, independence, and wellbeing — for everyone involved. 🧠 What You’ll Learn in This Episode What live‑in care actually is — explained in clear, human terms How live‑in care compares to domiciliary care and residential care homes Why familiarity, routine, and one‑to‑one support matter so much for people with dementia How live‑in care can reduce guilt, burnout, and anxiety for unpaid carers What families should ask before choosing any care provider How joined‑up working with charities, NHS teams, and local services improves outcomes ⏱️ Episode Chapters (Timestamps) 00:01 – What is live‑in care? A simple explanation 03:07 – Live‑in care vs domiciliary care vs care homes 08:00 – Who live‑in care is (and isn’t) suitable for 11:24 – Cost, value, and funding options explained 17:21 – Common fears families have about live‑in care 27:14 – Practical first steps for families feeling overwhelmed 29:16 – What a live‑in carer actually does day‑to‑day 36:50 – Joined‑up care: working with NHS, charities, and community services 45:31 – Guilt, burnout, and becoming a daughter again (not just a carer) 48:26 – Questions families should ask any care provider 57:39 – Final takeaway: when to seriously consider live‑in care 🔑 Three Key Messages Live‑in care is about dignity, not dependency Staying at home, keeping routines, pets, relationships, and identity intact can dramatically improve emotional and psychological wellbeing. Prevention matters more than crisis response Early support can prevent falls, hospital admissions, UTIs, medication errors, and carer burnout — protecting everyone long‑term. Good care supports the whole family, not just the individual Live‑in care can help unpaid carers step out of constant responsibility and back into meaningful relationships. 📌 Resources & Organisations Mentioned Promedica24 Live‑in Care 👉 https://www.promedica24careathome.co.uk Dementia Forward 👉 https://www.dementiaforward.org.uk Lancashire Mind 👉 https://www.lancashiremind.org.uk Care Quality Commission (CQC) 👉 https://www.cqc.org.uk Homecare.co.uk (provider reviews) 👉 https://www.homecare.co.uk 🎯 Why Listen to This Episode? If you’re: Supporting a loved one with dementia, learning difficulties, or increasing vulnerability Feeling exhausted, guilty, or unsure how long you can keep going A professional wanting a clearer understanding of care pathways Trying to make sense of confusing care options …this episode offers clarity, reassurance, and realistic alternatives, without pressure or sales talk. 🤝 About the Guest Gary Derbyshire runs Promedica24, delivering live‑in care across Lancashire, Yorkshire, and Cumbria. With a background in NHS work, care advocacy, and community collaboration, Gary supports families navigating dementia, learning difficulties, and complex needs. He is known for his calm, empathetic approach and for building joined‑up support networks with organisations such as Dementia Forward, Lancashire Mind, and local services. 🔗 Connect With Gary LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/gary-derbyshire-5b484240/ Instagram: @derbyshire.gary Website: https://www.promedica24careathome.co.uk 🔗 Connect With Able 📲 Instagram: @AbleTraining 📲 LinkedIn: Able Training 📲 TikTok: @AbleToCarePodcast 🌐 Website: Ablle-training.co.uk

Why “just do as you’re told” doesn’t work — and what to do instead. If you're a caregiver, teacher or parent exhausted by difficult behaviour, this episode is for you. In this solo episode, Andy Baker (behaviour specialist, author, and trainer) challenges the outdated scripts we've inherited around control, punishment, and compliance — and shares a powerful mindset shift that actually works. From his own story of being mugged at knifepoint to practical insights for managing aggression, defiance, or withdrawal, Andy explores how a person-centred, trauma-informed approach to behaviour support can improve outcomes for everyone — including you. Whether you work in a care home, a classroom or your own home, this episode helps you move from reactivity to reflection, from “what’s wrong with you?” to “what’s going on for you?” 📚 Resources Mentioned: Book: Targeting the Positive: With Behaviours That Challenge by Andy Baker Able Training: www.able-training.co.uk/podcast 💡 Three Key Messages: Challenging behaviour is subjective – what we find difficult often says more about us than the person we’re supporting. Old logic harms connection – the “do as you’re told” mindset leads to fear, shutdown or escalation. New logic builds trust – curiosity, empathy, and focusing on needs (not punishment) create better outcomes for everyone. ⏱️ Timestamps (Chapters): 00:00 – The problem with “just being difficult” 01:20 – Andy’s story: being mugged, fear, and the start of a career in behaviour 02:00 – What does “challenging behaviour” actually mean? 04:00 – Subjectivity, values, and why we label behaviour 06:00 – Task-focused vs. person-centred: why we get stuck 07:30 – The pause: learning to respond, not react 09:00 – From punishment to curiosity: the ‘new logic’ in behaviour 11:00 – The danger of “should” and “must” scripts 12:00 – Maladaptive vs. disliked behaviour 13:00 – The cultural lens: are our expectations even right? 14:00 – 3 mindset shifts to start using tomorrow 15:10 – How “Targeting the Positive” can help you become the weatherman of behaviour 🎯 Why Listen to This Episode? If you’ve ever thought “why won’t they just behave?” — you’re not alone. This episode gives you a practical, mindset-shifting framework that moves beyond punishment and helps you better support children, adults, or anyone with distressed or confusing behaviour. It’s compassionate, empowering, and refreshingly honest. 🔗 Stay Connected: 📲 Instagram: @AbleTraining 📲 LinkedIn: Able Training 📲 TikTok: @AbleToCarePodcast 🌐 Website: AbleTraining

What happens when a care package is approved... but there's no home for it to go into? In this vital conversation, I’m joined by Ben Gyles, co-founder of Urban Nest Property Solutions and The Housing Partnership Forum, to tackle the growing gap between housing and care. Ben shares his personal connection to council housing, his work supporting care providers and councils, and how housing shortages and visa changes are creating a chokehold on care delivery across the UK. Whether you’re a parent, teacher or caregiver, this episode sheds light on how stable, trauma-informed housing isn’t just about bricks and mortar – it’s about creating safety, healing and dignity for those we support. 🔑 Three Key Messages: Care Needs a Roof: Housing is not just a backdrop to care delivery – it’s a fundamental part of it. Without suitable homes, care packages are delayed, disjointed or completely unworkable. The System is Reacting, Not Planning: Providers, councils, and landlords are trapped in reactive firefighting. We need better communication, forward planning and strategic housing pipelines to meet future care needs. Homes Can Heal: Trauma-informed environments matter. With insight from his partner, therapist Silvia Costa, Ben shares how thoughtful design can support mental wellbeing and long-term recovery. ⏱️ Timestamps (Chapters): 00:00 – What happens when care is approved, but there's nowhere to go? 02:00 – Delayed discharge and the £2bn cost of nowhere-to-go patients 05:00 – The impact of housing shortages on small care providers 10:00 – The missing link: communication breakdown between councils, landlords and providers 20:00 – How Urban Nest is bridging the gap with property pipelines 25:00 – Visa changes, staff shortages and housing as recruitment infrastructure 30:00 – How trauma-informed design transforms housing into healing 35:00 – Advice for caregivers and advocates struggling with housing support 40:00 – Behaviour, stability and the ripple effect of insecure housing on families and schools 45:00 – What councils and government could change today 50:00 – The Housing Partnership Forum – a new space for collaboration 📚 Resources Mentioned: The Housing Partnership Forum: Join on LinkedIn Ben & Silvia on LinkedIn: Ben and Silvia Your Local Guardian Article: Urban Nest launched to save Croydon's forgotten homes Targeting the Positive (Book) by Andy Baker: Find it on Amazon 🎯 Why Listen to This Episode? If you work in care, education or support families in any way, this episode will challenge how you think about housing. Ben Gyles offers a fresh, solutions-focused perspective on how to overcome housing barriers in care – from planning better homes to understanding trauma-informed design. It’s a conversation packed with heart, real-world examples, and practical hope. 🔗 Connect with Us: 📲 Instagram: @AbleTraining 📲 LinkedIn: Able Training 📲 TikTok: @AbleToCarePodcast 🌐 Website:AbleTraining

In this powerful solo episode of Able to Care, Andy Baker – behaviour specialist, author, trainer and speaker – explores one of the most transformative frameworks in person-centred support: the Six C’s of Preventative Wellbeing. Too often, we fight fires instead of fireproofing. Whether you're a parent trying to reduce meltdowns, a carer supporting someone in distress, or a teacher dealing with disengagement, this episode reframes the problem: It’s not just about reacting to behaviour – it’s about creating environments where the behaviour doesn’t need to happen. Andy introduces the Six C’s – Comfort, Consistency, Connection, Choice, Competency, and Challenge – and explains how each one contributes to better outcomes for those we support, and for ourselves. Grounded in trauma-informed practice, psychological safety, and real-world experience, this model gives carers and professionals a clear, compassionate roadmap for prevention and wellbeing. 🤝 Sponsored by Carers Card UK We're proud to be sponsored by  Order your card today 📚 Resources Mentioned Targeting the Positive – Andy Baker’s book exploring proactive and person-centred behaviour support. Able Training – The Target System – Learn more about the framework featured in this episode. 🗝️ Three Key Messages Preventative wellbeing is proactive, not reactive. When we build safety, predictability, and purpose into environments, we reduce distress – and therefore, behaviour that challenges. The Six C’s aren’t just theory – they’re culture. Comfort, Consistency, Connection, Choice, Competency, and Challenge must be embedded into everyday life, not just stuck on a poster. You can’t thrive in fight-or-flight. Until people feel safe, they cannot learn, relate, or grow. Support must begin with emotional safety. ⏱️ Timestamps (Chapters) 00:00 – Why Firefighting Doesn’t Work 01:40 – The Six C’s Explained 02:53 – What is Preventative Wellbeing? 04:28 – Comfort: Psychological and Physical Safety 07:17 – Consistency: The Quiet Rhythm of Trust 09:49 – Connection: The Gateway to Regulation 11:11 – Choice: Autonomy and Dignity in Action 13:17 – Competency: Building Self-Esteem Through Mastery 15:11 – Challenge: Stretching Without Overwhelming 17:00 – How to Use the Six C’s in Practice 19:13 – From Compliance to Culture 19:50 – Final Thoughts and a Call to Reflect 🎧 Why Listen to This Episode? You’re a parent who wants less shouting and more connection You’re a teacher frustrated by behaviour but unsure what’s beneath it You’re a carer trying to create calm, not just contain chaos You’re a leader looking to reduce burnout and improve wellbeing This episode helps you see support differently – not as a response to behaviour, but as an opportunity to shape it before it ever appears. 🔗 Connect With Us 📲 Instagram: @AbleTraining 📲 LinkedIn: Able Training 📲 TikTok: @AbleToCarePodcast 🌐 Website: AbleHub.uk  

What happens when a headteacher leads not with policies, but with purpose? In this inspiring episode of the Able to Care podcast, behaviour specialist Andy Baker speaks with Fiona Booth, Headteacher at St Nicholas Church of England Primary Academy, a school recently featured by the BBC for its outstanding, relationship-driven approach to education. With 12 years in leadership, Fiona shares how she rebuilt a “dark” school culture into one where every child—and adult—feels safe, seen and supported. From tucking in shirts as a symbol of belonging to using data as a torch, not a hammer, Fiona’s message will resonate with caregivers, educators and parents navigating systems while trying to hold onto humanity. This is an essential listen for anyone who believes behaviour is communication, and that education—and care—must start with connection. 💙 Sponsored by: Carers Card UK This episode is proudly supported by Order your card today 🔗 Resources Mentioned: Fiona Booth – Targeting the Positive with Behaviours That Challenge by Andy Baker Able Training Podcast Hub 💡 Three Key Messages: Love is not soft—it’s structured. Compassion and boundaries are not opposites. They work best when they walk hand-in-hand. Real behaviour change comes from consistency and culture. Building trust, not fear, leads to safer, stronger systems—for children and adults alike. Every human being carries light. A school should be a lighthouse: guiding, warning, celebrating. When we see the light in others, they begin to see it in themselves. ⏱ Timestamps / Chapters: 00:00 – Introduction and Sponsor: Carers Card UK 01:40 – Meet Fiona Booth: Relationship-Centric Leadership 03:00 – What is a relationship-first school and why does it matter? 06:00 – Finding the untold stories behind behaviour 08:00 – How trauma-informed leadership reshapes whole school culture 11:00 – Building trust, not compliance, with staff and students 14:00 – Stories of real transformation: from despair to belonging 18:00 – The 'shine' philosophy and embracing every child’s light 22:00 – Rethinking data: Is it a hammer or a torch? 28:00 – Boundaries, belief and building expectations 34:00 – Being a lead learner: How Fiona models continual growth 39:00 – Music, movement and joy as staff wellbeing strategies 44:00 – What Ofsted and the DfE miss about real behaviour change 48:00 – Gratitude journals, emotional literacy and peer celebration 53:00 – Culture-shifting through connection, one moment at a time 56:00 – Final stories: Why this work really matters 01:05:00 – What drives Fiona on hard days 🎯 Why Listen to This Episode: Discover how to build compassion-led culture in any school or care setting Learn why vulnerability is a strength in leadership, not a weakness Explore how boundaries + empathy create safety Be inspired by real-life stories of hope, healing and transformation Gain tools to help you connect before you correct in behaviour support If you're a parent, teacher, caregiver—or anyone supporting people through challenges—this episode offers emotional insight and practical hope. 📲 Stay Connected: 🎧 Listen to all episodes: www.able-training.co.uk/podcast 📘 Andy’s Book – Targeting the Positive: Buy on Amazon 💳 Carers Card UK Offer:  🎟️ Order your card today 📱 Follow Able Training: 📲 Instagram: @AbleTraining 📲 LinkedIn: Able Training 📲 TikTok: @AbleToCarePodcast 🌐 Website: AbleHub.uk

Have you ever said, “Be quiet,” or “Stop crying,” and meant well — but noticed it shut things down rather than opened them up? In this solo episode of the Able to Care podcast, Andy Baker (behaviour specialist, trainer, author, and speaker) explores how everyday language used in care, education, and family life can either build trust or break it. Aimed at caregivers, educators, and parents, this thought-provoking episode shows how subtle shifts in language can transform your connection with the people you support — from young children to adults. This isn’t about being “soft.” It’s about being smart with your words. Learn how to move from control to connection, from correction to collaboration. 💙 Sponsored by: Carers Card UK The Able to Care podcast is proudly supported by  Order your card today 📚 Resources Mentioned: Andy’s book: Targeting the Positive with Behaviours That Challenge Podcast hub: www.able-training.co.uk/podcast 💡 Three Key Messages: The way we phrase things shapes behaviour and safety. Language can either escalate or regulate, build bridges or burn them. Small changes in words lead to big changes in connection. Replacing “stop crying” with “I’m here for you” invites trust and emotional safety. Words don’t just describe reality — they create it. From praising effort to setting boundaries with kindness, your language teaches people how safe they are and how capable they can become. ⏱️ Timestamps / Chapters: 00:00 – Introduction: Why the words we use matter 00:43 – Sponsor: Carers Card UK 01:50 – Connection vs control: The impact of phrases like “Stop crying” 02:14 – How language reflects mindset and changes how others see themselves 03:12 – Language as emotional regulation and safety cue 04:44 – Trauma-informed language: Validating vs dismissing distress 05:49 – Replacing correction with collaboration 06:36 – Building a growth mindset with words 07:53 – Avoiding minimisation: Why “it’s not that hard” can harm 08:28 – Reframing “mess” and “behaviour” in play and exploration 09:38 – The principle of positive phrasing: Say what you want to see 10:19 – The TARGET model: How to reflect and shift language patterns 11:14 – Final thought: Every word is a seed — plant safety, not fear 🎯 Why Listen to This Episode: You’ll gain practical, everyday language swaps that calm instead of escalate You’ll reflect on your own communication habits and how they shape behaviour You’ll understand how trust and safety are built one phrase at a time You’ll be better equipped to help children or adults feel seen, heard and respected If you’re a parent, teacher, carer, or support worker, this episode will leave you thinking differently about what you say — and why it matters. 📲 Stay Connected: 📲 Instagram: @AbleTraining 📲 LinkedIn: Able Training 📲 TikTok: @AbleToCarePodcast 🌐 Website: AbleHub.uk

In this episode of the Able to Care podcast, behaviour specialist Andy Baker is joined by Kathryn Lovewell, founder of Kind Mind Academy, award-winning speaker, and best-selling author of The Little Book of Self-Compassion, The Voices in My Head, and Every Teacher Matters. Together, they explore how self-compassion isn’t soft—it’s essential. Drawing on Kathryn’s experience working across schools, prisons, foster care, and families, they unpack the power of mindful self-compassion in daily life, especially for those in support roles. Whether you’re a parent, teacher, or carer feeling stretched thin, this conversation offers something rare: permission to be kind to yourself—and practical steps to start today. 💙 Sponsored by: Carers Card UK We’re proudly supported by The Booster Way Community Kathryn on LinkedIn: Kathryn Lovewell Instagram: @theboosterway Kathryn’s books: The Voices in My Head The Little Book of Self-Compassion Every Teacher Matters Andy’s book: able-training.co.uk/podcast 💡 Three Key Messages: Self-compassion isn't self-indulgent—it's essential. For carers and educators, kindness to ourselves fuels how well we care for others. We pass on our inner dialogue. Children and young people absorb how we speak to ourselves as much as how we speak to them. Start small, stay consistent. Rewiring our inner voice takes time, but small acts of self-kindness each day create lasting change. ⏱️ Timestamps / Chapters: 00:00 – Intro: The power of how we speak to ourselves 01:42 – Sponsor: Carers Card UK 02:00 – Meet Kathryn Lovewell and her journey into self-compassion 05:00 – Understanding the inner critic and “Crusher” vs “Booster” 10:30 – Why self-compassion is so hard but so necessary 15:20 – How changing our inner voice transforms relationships 20:00 – Recognising signs of emotional depletion and burnout 28:00 – A guided Self-Compassion Break exercise 35:00 – The Booster Way: Building emotional language in families 42:00 – Creating a culture of compassion in schools and homes 47:00 – Modeling healthy self-talk for children 52:00 – Practical ways to calm and regulate during tough moments 56:00 – Busting the myth: Self-care isn’t selfish 59:00 – Final message: No one needs to suffer alone 🎯 Why Listen to This Episode: You’ll learn practical tools for calming the inner critic You’ll hear powerful real-life stories from education and parenting You’ll walk away with a new language to share compassion with your children and yourself You’ll discover why modeling emotional wellbeing is the most effective teaching tool of all This is an episode for anyone who’s ever said, “I just don’t have time for self-care.” You do—and Kathryn Lovewell shows you how to make it count. 📲 Stay Connected: The Able Hub: www.ablehub.uk  Andy Baker’s Book: Targeting the Positive with Behaviours That Challenge 📱 Follow Us: 📲 Instagram: @AbleTraining 📲 LinkedIn: Able Training 📲 TikTok: @AbleToCarePodcast 🌐 Website: AbleHub.uk

In today’s solo episode, behaviour specialist and author Andy Baker shines a light on one of the most overlooked behavioural patterns in care and education: submissive behaviour. When someone is compliant, quiet, or “no trouble at all,” we often assume they’re fine. But beneath the surface, they may be masking distress, emotionally shutting down, or building up stress that will eventually erupt elsewhere. This episode is essential listening for teachers, parents, and caregivers who want to truly understand the people they support—not just by what they do, but what they hide. Andy explores the cost of emotional suppression, the danger of unseen stress, and how to spot when “quiet” is actually a cry for help. If you support someone who’s “easy,” “shy,” or never says no—this episode could change everything. 💙 Sponsored by: Carers Card UK We’re proudly supported by carerscarduk.co.uk/promocode/abletocare 🔗 Resources Mentioned: Andy Baker’s Book – Targeting the Positive www.able-training.co.uk/podcast 💡 Three Key Messages: Quietness is not always calm—sometimes it’s a trauma response. People may mask distress by appearing agreeable, passive, or withdrawn. It’s not comfort—it’s survival. Submissive behaviour is costly—physically and emotionally. When emotions are repressed long-term, it can lead to chronic anxiety, burnout, and even trauma. Psychological safety allows people to show their true selves. Whether at home, school, or in care, we must create environments where people feel safe to say “no” and express emotion without fear of judgment. ⏱️ Timestamps / Chapters: 00:00 – Introduction: The myth of the “quiet, good one” 02:05 – Sponsor: Carers Card UK 03:00 – Why compliant behaviour often masks distress 05:00 – What is masking, and why does it drain emotional energy? 06:00 – The physiology of freeze and submit 07:00 – The Coke bottle analogy: When pressure builds up 08:00 – Why meltdowns happen at home, not school 10:00 – How quietness can be a trauma response 11:00 – How disassociation shows up in care and education settings 12:00 – Spotting the signs: the cost of never saying “no” 14:00 – Why we must reframe “no” as a healthy boundary 15:00 – Masking exhaustion and emotional burnout 16:00 – A story of hidden pain in a school toilet 17:00 – Practical signs to look out for 18:00 – Supporting safe expression and psychological safety 20:00 – What schools and services can do better 22:00 – Self-erasure vs. authentic self-expression 24:00 – The final message: Notice, name, and nurture the quiet ones 🎯 Why Listen to This Episode: If you’ve ever worked with or raised someone who “never causes trouble,” this episode might completely shift your perspective. You’ll learn: Why submissive behaviour can be more dangerous than defiance How stress builds when there’s no outlet for emotion What to watch out for in “easy” children or quiet clients How to build safe, trusting environments where true feelings can be expressed This is a must-listen for teachers, parents, support workers, foster carers, and social care staff who want to offer truly person-centred care and connection—not just good behaviour on the surface. 📲 Connect with Able Training: 🎧 Listen to all episodes: www.able-training.co.uk/podcast 📘 Andy’s book: Instagram – @abletraining Facebook – Able Training LinkedIn – Andy Baker YouTube – Able Training

In this powerful and insightful episode, Andy Baker, behaviour specialist, author, and trainer, is joined by John Gray — the legendary author of Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus, one of the most influential relationship books of all time. Together, they unpack how gender, stress, hormones, and communication interact in modern relationships — especially for people who care for others every day. From understanding emotional needs and managing burnout to learning how men and women can better support one another, this episode offers life-changing insights for caregivers, teachers, and parents who want healthier relationships, stronger self-care, and deeper human connection. John shares tools from his upcoming book Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus – For Women Only: Be Happy With or Without a Man, exploring how finding balance, appreciation, and authenticity can transform both romantic and caregiving relationships. 💙 Sponsored by: Carers Card UK The Able to Care podcast is proudly sponsored by  Order your card today 🔗 Resources Mentioned: 🌐 John Gray’s Official Website – MarsVenus.com 📘 Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus – Amazon UK 📕 Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus: For Women Only – Be Happy With or Without a Man (New Release) 🎥 John Gray on YouTube 📱 Facebook: Mars.Venus.John.Gray 📸 Instagram: @johngraymarsvenus_official 🧘 Transcendental Meditation Foundation 📗 Andy’s book: Targeting the Positive with Behaviours That Challenge 💡 Three Key Messages: Men and women process stress differently — and that’s okay. Men thrive when solving problems; women thrive when feeling heard and supported. Recognising this difference builds connection, not conflict. Caregivers often give too much — without receiving enough. Dr. Gray explains how over-giving, especially for women, depletes emotional energy and hormones. Learning to receive love, rest, and help is vital self-care. Self-care isn’t selfish — it’s hormonal balance. Whether through meditation, social bonding, or quiet time, learning what restores your energy helps you care for others without burning out. ⏱️ Timestamps / Chapters: 00:00 – Sponsor: Carers Card UK 00:46 – Meet Dr. John Gray – author of Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus 02:00 – Why his work still resonates decades later 03:30 – Understanding gender differences in communication 05:00 – How hormones influence emotions and stress responses 09:00 – The importance of polarity and attraction in relationships 12:00 – Caregivers, codependency, and burnout 15:00 – How women can balance giving and receiving energy 20:00 – The power of asking for help effectively 25:00 – Self-care for caregivers: “You time,” “We time,” and “Me time” 31:00 – Meditation and journaling for emotional regulation 38:00 – Why men need challenge and women need connection 45:00 – How to truly listen — and when not to offer solutions 53:00 – The secret to being happy with or without a partner 58:00 – Finding purpose, spirituality, and meaning in service 01:00:00 – Dr. Gray’s parting message: “When you’re unhappy, you’re often looking in the wrong direction.” 🎯 Why Listen to This Episode: If you’re a parent, teacher, or carer, you’ve probably found yourself exhausted from giving to everyone else. This episode helps you: Understand why relationships feel harder when you’re under stress Reframe communication through empathy, hormones, and mindset Recognise when you’re giving too much — and how to restore balance Apply timeless Mars & Venus principles to modern caregiving and family life Dr. Gray’s advice bridges psychology, biology, and compassion, offering a roadmap to healthier connection — with others, and with yourself. 📲 Connect with Dr. John Gray: 🌐 Website: www.marsvenus.com 🎥 YouTube: John Gray – Mars Venus 📸 Instagram: @johngraymarsvenus_official 👍 Facebook: Mars.Venus.John.Gray 🕙 Watch Live: Facebook Live Show – Thursdays 10am PST 📲 Follow Able Training & Able to Care 🎧 Podcast Home: able-training.co.uk/podcast 🔗 LinkedIn: Able Training 📸 Instagram: @abletraining 🟦 Facebook: Able Training 🎥 YouTube: Able Training YouTube

In this solo episode of the Able to Care podcast, Andy Baker—behaviour specialist, author, trainer, and speaker—explores a topic that’s becoming impossible to ignore: artificial intelligence in care and education. With AI tools appearing in classrooms, care homes, and behaviour support planning, Andy asks: 🧠 Is AI a threat or an opportunity? 💡 Can it support person-centred practice—or risk removing the person altogether? This thought-provoking episode explores how AI can: Free up carers, teachers, and support workers to focus on what really matters Improve inclusion by adapting communication and materials to individual needs Assist with planning, documentation, and accessibility — without replacing empathy or connection Whether you're a parent using tech at home, a teacher considering AI tools, or a care professional balancing paperwork with people work—this episode is for you. 💙 Sponsored by: Carers Card UK Proud to support unpaid and paid carers across the UK. ✅ Emergency ID card ✅ Discounts on essentials, days out, clothing & glasses ✅ Access to a wellbeing hub, Carers Circle & app-based support 🎁 All for less than the price of a box of chocolates a year. 👉 Able Training Courses www.able-training.co.uk/podcast 📘 Andy’s Book – Targeting the Positive: Instagram – @abletraining Facebook – Able Training LinkedIn – Andy Baker YouTube – Able Training

In this powerful episode of the Able to Care podcast, Andy Baker speaks with Jennifer Roblin, anxiety specialist, therapist, and founder of Better Your Life. Together, they explore how anxiety impacts the lives of carers, teachers, and parents — not just as a condition, but as a learned, evolutionary response we can better understand, reframe, and manage. Drawing from lived experience, neuroscience, and tools like NLP, nervous system resets, and heart coherence, Jennifer shares practical tips, relatable insights, and hope for those feeling overwhelmed or burnt out. Whether you’re supporting someone with anxiety or experiencing it yourself, this episode offers a refreshing, honest, and empowering perspective. 🎧 Why Listen to This Episode? You’ll understand the difference between stress and anxiety — and when to seek help You’ll learn powerful nervous system hacks you can use in the moment You’ll realise you're not broken — and how to reclaim your power step-by-step You’ll gain a fresh outlook on self-care that’s realistic, personal, and actionable You’ll hear a deeply relatable story that proves: anxiety doesn’t define you 💡 Three Key Messages Anxiety is a survival tool, not a personal flaw – understanding its evolutionary purpose changes how we respond to it. Small changes create big shifts – journaling, breathing, and nervous system resets can retrain the brain over time. Burnout isn’t weakness — it’s a signal – recognising early signs and reconnecting with nature and rest can prevent collapse. ⏱ Timestamps / Chapters 00:01 – Introduction & Sponsor: Carers Card UK 00:42 – Meet Jennifer Roblin and her lived experience with anxiety 03:00 – Panic attacks at 11 and early childhood messages 06:00 – Shifting identity and finding confidence abroad 10:00 – Reframing anxiety: from stigma to superpower 13:00 – What anxiety actually is and how it works 17:00 – Signs you’re dealing with anxiety vs. everyday stress 21:00 – The link between procrastination, fear of failure, and tribal instincts 24:00 – Burnout in caregivers and professionals — how to spot it early 29:00 – Jennifer’s go-to anxiety tools: journaling, breathing, nervous system hacks 34:00 – Why “self-care” needs a rebrand and what it looks like in real life 41:00 – Signs of progress, even when you don’t notice it 46:00 – What Jennifer would say to her younger self 50:00 – The one thing you can do today to begin change 🤝 Sponsor: Carers Card UK This episode is proudly sponsored by www.betteryourlife.co.uk Instagram: @bylanxietymgmt LinkedIn: Jennifer Roblin Free Journaling Prompts for Anxiety – available on Jennifer’s website Nervous System Reset Programme: £299 (10% off for Able to Care listeners) 📲 Follow Able Training & Able to Care 🎧 Podcast Home: able-training.co.uk/podcast 🔗 LinkedIn: Able Training 📸 Instagram: @abletraining 🟦 Facebook: Able Training 🎥 YouTube: Able Training YouTube

In this solo episode of the Able to Care podcast, behaviour specialist, trainer, and author Andy Baker unpacks Pathological Demand Avoidance (PDA)—or as many now prefer to call it, a Persistent Drive for Autonomy. If you’ve ever supported someone—child or adult—who seemed to resist even the simplest of requests, this episode will help you understand what’s really going on beneath the surface. Andy explores: What PDA is (and why language matters) Why traditional behaviour strategies often make things worse How to shift from confrontation to collaboration Practical, compassionate strategies for reducing anxiety and increasing cooperation This episode is a must-listen for parents, carers, teachers, and support staff seeking a more empathetic and effective approach to neurodivergent behaviour. 💙 Sponsored by Carers Card UK Instagram – @abletraininguk Facebook – Able Training LinkedIn – Andy Baker

In this deeply personal and powerful conversation, Andy Baker speaks to Sabina Thorpe—a mum, carer, business leader, and woman who grew up silenced by a stammer and the weight of cultural expectations. Sabina opens up about her childhood experiences of bullying, being told to stay quiet, and feeling utterly alone. But she also shares how she turned those struggles into strength—first by learning to speak for herself, and then by building a call centre, multiple businesses, and eventually co-founding DeskVal, an AI-powered property valuation platform now disrupting the industry. This isn’t just a story of business—it’s a story of identity, resilience, and the power of being seen and heard. Whether you're caring for others, raising children, teaching young minds, or trying to reclaim your own voice, this episode will stay with you. 💙 Sponsored by: carerscarduk.co.uk/promo-code/abletocare 🔗 Resources & Links: 🌐 Sabina Thorpe on LinkedIn 🏡 DeskVal – AI Property Valuations 📲 Follow Sabina on Instagram 🎥 Interview: Sabina’s Journey to DeskVal 📰 Roma Finance launches DeskVal 📘 Instagram – @abletraininguk LinkedIn – Andy Baker Facebook – Able Training Website - Able Training

We teach more with our tone, facial expressions, and reactions than with any lesson plan. In this powerful solo episode, Andy Baker explores the concept of the hidden curriculum—the silent lessons we teach every day through our behaviour, body language, and boundaries. Whether you're a parent, teacher, carer or support worker, you're constantly delivering messages—about safety, empathy, trust, and identity—without even realising it. So what are people really learning from you? This episode will help you become more intentional about your presence and model the values you want to pass on. 💙 Sponsored by: www.ablehub.uk – Free 14-day trial for carers and educators Andy Baker’s Book: Targeting the Positive with Behaviours That Challenge 💡 Three Key Messages: Behaviour is curriculum. Every sigh, smile, or boundary teaches something. Children and adults alike copy what they see, not what they’re told. Emotional safety is taught through presence. Calm body language, empathy, and clear boundaries teach regulation, identity, and self-worth. Reflecting on our own hidden lessons is essential. Understanding what we unintentionally learned—and may still be teaching—helps break cycles and shape better futures. ⏱️ Episode Chapters: 00:00 – What is the hidden curriculum? 00:27 – Sponsor: Carers Card UK 01:47 – We teach with more than our words 02:36 – How stress, tone & facial expressions model behaviour 04:50 – Mirror neurons, empathy, and emotional contagion 06:30 – Auditing your tone and actions 07:54 – Subtle shaming: schools, police, and healthcare narratives 09:02 – Stigma, ageism, and unconscious bias 09:16 – Naming the learning out loud 09:38 – “Do you want a hug, help, or to be heard?” 10:30 – Aligning boundaries with compassion 11:07 – Emotional literacy and modelling empathy 11:59 – What hidden curriculum are we passing on as a team? 12:46 – Final thoughts: What are YOU teaching without knowing? 🎯 Why Listen to This Episode? This episode is essential listening for anyone who works with or supports others—especially parents, teachers, carers, and leaders. You’ll walk away with: A deeper awareness of the emotional messages you send daily Practical tools to model calm, empathy, and safety Insight into how to reflect and adjust the unspoken lessons you teach Whether you’re raising children or leading teams, the hidden curriculum you deliver shapes lives. 📲 Stay Connected: 📲 Instagram: @AbleTraining 📲 LinkedIn: Able Training 📲 TikTok: @AbleToCarePodcast 🌐 Website: able-training.co.uk/podcast

In this must-listen guide for families, carers, and professionals, Able to Care host Andy Baker is joined by Meghan Earle, Able Training’s passionate and experienced lead dementia trainer. Together, they unpack some of the most important—but often misunderstood—questions about dementia: What actually is dementia? What are the early signs (beyond memory loss)? How do we communicate and engage meaningfully as dementia progresses? What systems and mindsets need to change to truly support people living with dementia? With stories from training rooms and care homes across the UK, Meghan shares expert insights and real-life tips to empower carers with confidence, clarity, and compassion. 💙 Sponsored by: Order your card todayDementia Forward – Support & Helpline Alzheimer’s Society – Types of Dementia Andy Baker’s Book: Targeting the Positive with Behaviours That Challenge Able Training Dementia Courses 💡 Three Key Messages: “It’s not just memory loss.” Dementia affects different parts of the brain—vision, language, personality, perception—and every person’s journey is unique. “Distress is not a symptom—it’s a signal.” Aggression, withdrawal, and agitation often stem from unmet needs or environmental overwhelm—not the dementia itself. “Connection matters more than correction.” Responding with empathy, not facts, is key. Join people in their world, honour their emotions, and meet them where they are. ⏱️ Episode Chapters: 00:00 – Welcome & Sponsor: Carers Card UK 01:10 – Meet Meghan Earle: Lead dementia trainer & lived experience 02:00 – What is dementia (really)? 03:30 – Why “just dementia” is never enough: the importance of diagnosis 05:00 – The problem with Google, misinformation & medical labels 06:45 – Understanding how dementia affects different parts of the brain 08:00 – Early signs of dementia beyond memory loss 10:00 – The emotional experience of diagnosis & stigma 12:45 – You are not alone: support systems that help 15:00 – Why meaningful engagement matters & what it looks like 20:00 – Behaviour, communication & the power of asking “why?” 25:00 – Mistakes carers make (and how to fix them) 30:00 – The “I want to go home” moment—what to say instead 36:00 – Escalation, distress & why prevention beats reaction 42:00 – Why care home environments need rethinking 47:00 – Dementia training: what makes it work? 52:00 – Don’t give up—there’s always something else to try 55:00 – Final thoughts: empathy, intention & learning together 🎯 Why Listen to This Episode? This episode is essential for anyone supporting a loved one—or working with people—living with dementia. You’ll leave with a clearer understanding, greater confidence, and real-world strategies for: ✅ Communicating calmly and meaningfully ✅ Spotting distress and responding with care ✅ Accessing support before crisis hits ✅ Shifting from correction to connection Whether you’re a carer, support worker, nurse, or family member—this is your practical and emotional guide to dementia care done right. 📲 Stay Connected: 🎧 Listen to more episodes: @AbleTraining 📲 LinkedIn: Able Training 📲 TikTok: @AbleToCarePodcast 🌐 Website: AbleHub.uk

Are consequences the only way to manage behaviour? In this thought-provoking solo episode, behaviour specialist and trainer Andy Baker challenges one of the most commonly accepted ideas in parenting, education, and care: that consequences are the best way to teach behaviour. From the science of brain regulation to trauma-informed practice and real-world stories, Andy shares six powerful, research-backed strategies that are not only more effective—but also kinder. Whether you're a parent, teacher, support worker or carer, this episode will shift your mindset and give you tools to build connection instead of control. 💙 Sponsored by: Are you caring for someone, paid or unpaid? You could be missing out on thousands of pounds in discounts. Carers Card UK offers: ID card with emergency info access Exclusive discounts on gyms, days out, electrical goods, and more Access to a wellbeing hub, Carers Circle tool, and mobile app All for less than the price of a box of chocolates per year. 🎟️ Order your card today 🔗 Resources Mentioned: Polyvagal Theory – Explained by NICABM Andy Baker’s Book: Targeting the Positive with Behaviours That Challenge 💡 Three Key Messages: Punishment isn't teaching—it’s suppression. True behaviour change comes from teaching, not controlling. Consequences alone rarely build long-term learning or emotional resilience. Connection is the most powerful behaviour tool we have. Co-regulation, empathy, storytelling and reflection help build the skills needed to manage behaviour from the inside out. Investing time upfront saves time later. It may feel quicker to impose a consequence, but when we use modelling and skill-building instead, we reduce repeat incidents. ⏱️ Episode Chapters: 00:00 – Consequences aren’t the only tool 00:25 – Sponsor: Carers Card UK 01:46 – Why we default to punishment: evolution, culture, behaviourism 03:46 – How punishment creates a cycle of low self-esteem 04:50 – The brain under stress: why consequences fail when dysregulated 05:37 – Shame, deflection, and emotional safety 06:00 – The 6 teaching tools that work better than consequences: Modelling Practice & rehearsal Co-regulation Reflection & repair Storytelling & metaphor Natural/logical consequences 13:52 – What about accountability? 15:23 – Is this all too “soft”? Or is it strategic? 16:22 – Weekly challenge: replace one consequence with a teaching tool 🎯 Why Listen to This Episode? This episode flips the script on how we teach behaviour—whether you’re a parent, teacher, carer, or support worker. You’ll walk away with practical, compassionate alternatives to traditional discipline, rooted in psychology, neuroscience and real-life application. If you’ve ever asked: ➡️ “What else can I do when consequences don’t work?” ➡️ “How can I improve behaviour without shouting or punishment?” ➡️ “How do I teach better choices in the moment?” —then this episode is a must-listen. 📲 Stay Connected: 📲 Instagram: @AbleTraining 📲 LinkedIn: Able Training 📲 TikTok: @AbleToCarePodcast 🌐 Website: AbleHub.uk

In this powerful episode, Andy Baker is joined by Lee Crouch, a father, advocate, and author of Lee’s Journey, who opens up about his experience of losing his children to the care system—and the long, painful road to reunification. Lee discusses the trauma of forced separation, the flaws within social care systems, and how hope, consistency, and accountability helped rebuild his family. With raw honesty and incredible humility, Lee speaks directly to parents, foster carers, and professionals—offering a unique insight into what real change and co-parenting can look like, even after unimaginable loss. 💙 Sponsored by: Order your card today 🔗 Resources Mentioned: Dementia UK: Admiral Nurses Andy Baker’s Book: Targeting the Positive with Behaviours That Challenge 💡 Three Key Messages: You Can’t Co-Parent Without Trust—Even in the Care System Lee highlights how positive relationships between parents and foster carers are possible and powerful—with transparency, humility, and shared purpose. Accountability and Hope Can Coexist Lee doesn’t shy away from the mistakes that led to his children’s removal. But he shows that ownership, emotional growth, and persistence can lead to reunification. The System Must Change Its Lens Parents are not case files. Children are not tick boxes. Lee calls for earlier support, post-removal care for parents, and system accountability when placements fail. ⏱️ Episode Chapters: 00:00 – Intro & Carers Card UK sponsor 01:47 – Meet Lee: Author, father, and advocate 04:00 – The day everything changed: courtroom heartbreak 08:00 – Fighting the system & fighting for change 14:00 – Emotional transformation and vulnerability in men 20:00 – Sky, Leighton, Summer & Caden: the children’s individual journeys 28:00 – Co-parenting with foster carers vs. instability in placements 35:00 – Caden’s trauma: when the system fails a child 44:00 – Post-removal support (or lack of it) 52:00 – The fight for parental advocacy 58:00 – Reunification: where the children are now 01:04:00 – Final message to parents: Don’t give up hope 🎯 Why Listen to This Episode? This is more than a podcast—it’s a call to action. Whether you’re a parent, social worker, foster carer, policymaker, or professional, Lee’s story offers a rare and deeply moving look at what real change, compassion, and collaboration can achieve. You’ll leave this episode feeling challenged, heartbroken, and hopeful all at once. 📲 Stay Connected 📲 Instagram: @AbleTraining 📲 LinkedIn: Able Training 📲 TikTok: @AbleToCarePodcast 🌐 Website: AbleHub.uk