Desires: Resolving The Differences Between Men & Women - Lyn Smith & Fran Frye

Lyn sits down with sex counselor Fran Frye to dismantle the common misconceptions surrounding male and female sexual desires. Drawing from her personal journey as a rape survivor turned advocate, Fran offers a profound look into the world of problematic sexual behaviours and the distinct frameworks of spontaneous desire versus responsive desire. KEY TAKEAWAYS Men more frequently experience spontaneous desire (instantly ready out of the blue), while women often experience responsive desire, which requires warmth, curiosity, and lead-up to activate. A vital piece of anatomical education is that vaginal lubrication is a natural physiological preparation for penetration, but it does not automatically mean a woman is psychologically turned on or ready for sex. To combat boredom and explore novelty safely, couples can utilise a "yes, no, maybe" list online or via social media to find creative, mutually comfortable ways to connect/ spice things up. Rather than viewing it as a mere tool for performance, men naturally seek emotional connection through their sexuality; understanding the erotic nervous system is crucial for male emotional regulation and well-being. BEST MOMENTS "We are not dildos. We aren't meant to just be erect and expected to be ready to quote-on-quote perform. There is some lead-up and connection that is required." "Women often find themselves bored in sex faster than men do... I find that it’s the sex that they're having is what they're bored with." "A regulated man is safer than any weapon we sell in the name of protection, and I find that sex and regulation is very important to the betterment of men." "Communication is lubrication." ABOUT THE GUEST - Fran Frye – Sex Educator, Counsellor & Clinician Fran Frye focus's on supporting men as they unpack their sexuality within a patriarchal culture that often labels them as dangerous, defective, or emotionally closed off. She helps dismantle these narratives through curiosity, empathy and practical tools that foster healthier relationships with the body, partners and self, helping them build greater empathy, emotional depth, and responsibility in their intimate lives. Website - https://www.franfrye.com/ Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/franfryecounseling/ YouTube -  https://www.youtube.com/@franfryecounseling ABOUT THE HOST Lyn Smith – (The Queen of HEARTS) – Love, Dating & Relationship Expert Lyn’s personal story is a very inspirational and harrowing one of how she went from having unhealthy and unfulfilling relationships with men (on the back of several serious traumatic sexual assaults in her teens) to now feeling safe, fulfilled, alive, full of passion and having inner peace. She has a proven track record as a Love Solutions - Relationship Expert/ Trainer/ Inspirational Speaker and Best-Selling Author based upon her own vast personal research, experiential learning and training with the world’s leading industry experts. Lyn makes a difference by helping you make a difference; she has a vision of contributing back on a global scale. Contact Method [email protected] This Podcast has been brought to you by Disruptive Media. ⁠https://disruptivemedia.co.uk/