How to Build Emotional Intelligence in Teenagers: Empathy, Self-Awareness & Self-Regulation

Ask Rachel anything Why does your teenager struggle to explain how they feel? Can emotional intelligence actually be taught — and what can parents do to help? So, when Betty asked us to take a look at how she can do that for her twins we decided it was a great topic to discuss. Emotional intelligence is the ability to recognise and understand our own emotions, manage them effectively, and understand the feelings of other people. And while some teenagers seem naturally emotionally aware, the good news is that these are skills that can be developed. In this episode of Teenagers Untangled, Rachel and Susie explore how parents can help teenagers build emotional intelligence, including emotional vocabulary, empathy, self-awareness, active listening and self-regulation. We look at why teenagers can sometimes appear selfish or lacking in empathy when they're actually overwhelmed, why they may misread other people's emotions, and why simply asking a teenager “How do you feel?” often doesn't get us very far. Most importantly, we discuss practical ways to help. How can we give teenagers a better vocabulary for their emotions? How do we teach empathy without lecturing them? What can we do when they're too emotionally dysregulated to listen? And why is modelling emotional intelligence ourselves one of the most powerful things we can do? We also discuss: What emotional intelligence actually means Why emotional intelligence may matter as much as IQ Why teenagers struggle to identify and articulate feelings How parents can model emotional intelligence Using a feelings wheel to build emotional vocabulary How active listening develops emotional awareness The difference between empathy and sympathy Helping teenagers stop taking everything personally Teaching self-awareness and self-reflection Emotional regulation and the teenage brain Why you shouldn't try to reason with a highly dysregulated teenager Helping highly empathetic teenagers develop healthy boundaries Emotional intelligence isn't something teenagers either have or don't have. It's a collection of skills that can be practised and strengthened — and parents have an important role in helping them develop. If you want to raise a teenager who can understand their emotions, communicate more effectively, navigate relationships and cope better with life's inevitable challenges, this episode is a great place to start. EMPATHY VS SYMPATHY: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1Evwgu369Jw REFERENCES: http://drbarbaraklein.squarespace.com/twins-develop-differently-than/ https://www.talentsmarteq.com/articles/11-signs-that-you-lack-emotional-intelligence/ https://www.theguardian.com/teacher-network/2017/nov/03/emotional-intelligence-why-it-matters-and-how-to-teach-it Support the show Please hit the follow button if you like the podcast, and share it with anyone who might benefit. You can review us on Apple podcasts by going to the show page, scrolling down to the bottom where you can click on a star then you can leave your message. Please don't hesitate to seek the advice of a specialist if you're not coping. There's no shame in reaching out for support. When you look after yourself your entire family benefits. Find all the tips from the episode on Substack: My email [email protected] My website has a blog, searchable episodes, and ways to contact me Instagram Facebook