Dismiss the Jury

Sometimes, sometimes your husband gets mad at you.   Happens to me, to you and to Catherine, Duchess of Cambridge. Maybe it’s because we didn’t back him up in grounding Ella for taking the car without permission.  Maybe it’s because he wants more cause and effect in the bedroom.  Whatever the reason, it can feel scary, and we feel a strong impulse to deflect and defend.“How dare he!?” We think, “How can he accuse me of [fill in the blank] when I’m busting my biscuits over here taking care of everyone?”  And in your brain, the comparisons begin, the scorekeeping, the “I’m doing X he’s only doing Y”.  The  “I always do… he never does.  He has some all-fired nerve to be mad at me.”So what do we do when our thoughts run thus?  March his hinder out and start reaming him?  See how loudly we can load the dishwasher before he gets the message?  Start a knock down, drag out in the perhaps hormonally charged heat of the moment?Or maybe you turn on yourself- “Diane, You know Summer always says not to be defensive, what’s wrong with you?  Why are you having all these unhealthy thoughts?  You really have issues, Diane, you need help.”It’s a bleak transition when you’re aching for approval that’s not coming.  It can be like trudging through southern Arizona with an empty water bottle.If you could use some support getting your sea legs during this scary transition, and girl, we all could, message me to schedule your complimentary session.  Coaching is my jam.  It’s what I love to do, so it’s always a win.You deserve all the love and happiness you can hold.bethechangeinyourmarriage.onuniverse.com This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit bethechangeinyourmarriage.substack.com