Episodes
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My Reaction to the Barbie Movie
Reclining theatre seats, a tub of popcorn (which I usually dump a pack of peanut m&ms into- rapture!) and the Barbie movie with my home girls! (My mom, daughter and one friend 😁) Did you see it? I’d love to hear your take on it. I was excessively diverted 🤓. There was incredible wit and…
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The Dumpster Fire Marriage Playbook: Getting What You Don't Want
Insights from an excerpt of THE 80/80 MARRIAGE by Nate Klemp PH.D. and Kaley Klemp Every so often (with about the frequency that someone besides you replaces the toilet paper roll), a certain turn of phrase is able to shift the dusty cumbersome furniture in your well-entrenched mind parlor,...
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Shattered Dreams and Shaky Foundations
You will never forget the way he looked at you on your wedding day. The way he just let the vision of you soak in, as if looking at you was the only item on his to-do list, and all he required for sustenance. During those heady days, he honored you, he delighted in you, he listened, and your...
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The Great Gift of Disliking Your Husband
My heart is full today. I recently finished such an inspiring book that encompasses the message I’ve been trying to express all this time with such clarity, and such humor. As Cheryl McClary, author of THE COMMITMENT CHRONICLES, so delightfully tells us, (actually I won’t share her words yet…
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Take the Thing! A Mother's Day Message
Last Sunday I got mildly annoyed with my husband for not making more of an effort to pitch in and move things along so we could get to church on time. He’s been wonderfully involved before, helping little kids get ready, etc., but has had a lot on his mind lately. And my bad, I didn't bother to...
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Momentum Goes Both Ways
When we roll through the experience of noticing our blessings and feeling those feelings of enjoying, cherishing, and holding gratitude for what we have, we are strengthening the electromagnetic pull for additional enjoyment, cherishing and gratitude. We can feel it building upon itself as we...
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Healthy Boundaries vs Harmful Barriers: Inspired by the Work of James 'Fish' Gill
Have you noticed how much of a buzz catch phrase “healthy boundaries” has become? I notice a great deal of emphasis being placed on looking out for oneself- and that’s not a bad thing at all, but little is made of the experience of the person on the receiving end of the boundary- especially if…
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When You Don't Want to Give
What would it look like if the next action you took was purely for someone’s benefit? What if you looked at them and every desire of your heart was to see relief pouring over them or the beaming of sudden joy, or to embrace them until they had no doubt of your love? What if that person was you?...
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The Hidden Marriage Killer in Your Pocket
I want to encourage you to take more frequent phone breaks, and not just for the obvious reasons. What are the obvious reasons? The obvious reasons are that it blocks out opportunities to interact and deepen your connection. It takes the place of exchanges you might naturally fall into together.…
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What to Do When He Pulls Away
I want to talk about what to do when he pulls away. And it just might involve getting "selfish". And I don’t necessarily mean dropping a couple grand for a spa day or buying yourself Stuart Weitzman heels, though if that's your thing, go for it! I’ve just been reading the brilliant classic book…
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Cursed to Curious
I hated myself for picking “the wrong man”. How could I be such an emotionally immature idiot as to jump into marriage with someone who made me so unhappy? Other people were in romantic, nurturing, connected relationships, but not me. I had missed my chance by saying those “cursed ‘I do’ words”...
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Be the Change Crash Course: 7 Keys to Transformation
Come join me in my free Facebook group ❤️🩹WIVES CHANGING LIVES❤️🩹, because the Get Cozy by Valentine’s Day Challenge has been going HARD. It’s really a crash course in transformation with 7 key points so far. On Day 1 we talked about having a vision for your life that guides your actions.…
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Get Cozy by Valentine's Day
If you love this podcast, and you have not signed up for my free Get Cozy by Valentine’s Day Challenge yet, I want you to join us in my private Facebook group at this link forthwith! ASAP. We’re having a great time already. It will be awesome for you whether your marriage is in serious trouble…
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The Biggest Communication Mistake You Don't Know You're Making
Ten and something years ago, I saw myself as the patient, longsuffering victim of my clueless, insensitive husband’s harsh communication. And did he feel it? Yes, he did. But I was making a mistake I had no idea I was making. And I was doing it all the Fraggle Rockin’ time. And you might be doing...
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The 3 Fundamental Laws of [Marriage] Success
I get so much value from the work of Dr. Benjamin Hardy on YouTube. He is perhaps the most driven, focused, goal-oriented success story I have ever encountered, and every time I listen to him speak I end up with three or four more books on my must read list. I’m going to borrow from his video I...
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This is the Reason You Resent Him
When Elie Wiesel gave his Nobel Peace Prize Acceptance speech, he imagined that the child he once was, the child who had staggered through the horrors of the Nazi concentration camps, an experience he dubbed The Kingdom of Night, was now addressing him. "'Tell me,' he asks, 'What have you done…
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Before You Plan the New Year, Ask Yourself These Questions
I thought we could wrap up this year together, and get ourselves on a great trajectory for the New Year. If you can listen to this at a time when you can pause it to write these things down, that would be awesome. Grab a notebook and a pen or the notes app on your phone or tablet. Some questions...
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Your Heart Will Break
Thinking about the holidays and all you struggling mamas brought up a painful memory. I first divorced when my oldest was just under two. It was New Year’s Day when I moved out of our little family home and gave my little chubbins two homes instead of one. But even though I knew that relationship...
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3 Ways to a Peaceful Home for the Holidays
Thank you so much for following and placing me in Spotify’s top 25% of most followed Podcasts! I’m so grateful for everyone who listens. Thanks for opening your time and your heart to me. It is a privilege. And speaking of your heart, I know it can weigh heavily around the holidays. In a time of...
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Wife Wellness Audit
A lovely, amazing woman came to me in a marriage she feared was over. Her husband was sleeping in his office and she struggled with the question of whether their union was worth saving. She felt unseen and undervalued and it seemed that her husband was warm and welcoming to everyone but her....
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When You Speak Up
No matter how much of a canker blossom your husband is, you can be at peace in your heart, and find sweet hope for your future. You can even learn to love him, and find all kinds of creative and liberating ways to inspire him to be far less of a canker blossom. This is what I love to jam with you...
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The Top Five Regrets of the Dying
I just saw an inspiring reel on Instagram by @peacefulmindpeacefullife, an account I would highly recommend following- fabulous messages. The reel spoke of the Top Five Regrets of the Dying. It was based on a book I now want to read, by the same title, by a veteran palliative nurse named Bronnie...
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Special 50th Episode! - Living Your Best Life
To celebrate my 50th episode, I am giving away a fabulous "Falling For You" Date Night Inbox, which "includes several interactive activities, a delicious snack, a custom curated dinner menu and so much more". Head over to Instagram to see how you can win it! I want you to decide today that you…
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I Felt So Defeated
Are you aching for your husband to just acknowledge you? Wishing for some clue that you matter to him? That he thinks you get some things right once in a while? That he feels that he’s in the right place and not sitting around daydreaming of being with someone else? Have you been trying to get…
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Woman In Love
Summer, my husband just sat down on the couch again with a beer to watch hockey, and all I want to do is pour old baby formula into his new Nikes. I know, honey. It’s a J.O.B. and a half to find anything hopeful when you’re drowning in this ocean of MEH and worse than MEH- full on pain. BUT- as a...
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Are You "In the Wrong"?
My clients are absolutely extraordinary women. Not because they are beautiful, intelligent and talented (though incidentally they are all that as well), but for one very simple reason: They have the humility to ask the question, “Might I be in the wrong?” Why the word choice of “wrong”? Kind of a...
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When He's a Categorical Snotlord
Now what do you do when your husband acts like a categorical snotlord? When he talks like a complete jerk, or as Shakespeare would say, a droning, dog-hearted death-token? Let’s say you tell him you’re too tired for sex, and he calls you a “frigid beach… towel”. It’s so easy, when the man says...
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Settle or Surrender?
Are you surrendering or settling? Are you saying, “Ok I can work with this?” or “Wake me up in ten years?” Are you seeing the distinction? You could be in a true place of surrender and still work your love handles off to make things better. It just means you’re not going to bang your head against...
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He Just. Doesn't. Care.
Have you noticed that the more desperate the situation in your marriage becomes to you, the less he seems to care? The more you create urgency around the need for him to show up, and try to wake his thick head up to the fact that he’s in danger of losing you, the more he flees the scene. You are...
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One Simple Shift
Summer, no one appreciates what I do. I could wake up at 3:00 am and bust my fanny til midnight and no one will care, and they sure as heckwads won’t say thank you. That sounds spectacularly painful, and as the mom of many, I understand where you’re coming from. Let’s get something straight right...
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Ride or Die
No woman gets married and thinks to herself “Now I get to spend my life feeling misunderstood, recycling the same argument five times a month, and regretting my major life decisions. And yet, I talk to so many women who are slogging through life, feeling that nothing will ever change, cursing...
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Water That Garden
You want your marriage to be different. You want your husband to be different. You want him to listen to you and seem to actually give a flying Farquaad for your feelings. You are weighed down with disappointments. Your wishes seem empty as you note each time he pulls away or says, “You’re just...
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You Don't Have to Not Be In Love
You don’t have to not be in love anymore. You can decide that you like being in love and kick the backlog of icky stuff to the curb and start doing loving things. Hold on for a longer kiss. Count to 7 and melt into it. Remember the gooey feelings you had when you first kissed. Remember all the...
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Mapping Out Your Bliss
Finding peace, love, coziness and contentment in your marriage again may seem impossibly out of reach, but it’s quite possible- it’s beautifully rewarding, and results come about much faster than you might think. Here’s the basic framework... Ok Summer, I know about all that kind of stuff and I’m...
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Dismiss the Jury
Sometimes, sometimes your husband gets mad at you. Happens to me, to you and to Catherine, Duchess of Cambridge. Maybe it’s because we didn’t back him up in grounding Ella for taking the car without permission. Maybe it’s because he wants more cause and effect in the bedroom. Whatever the reason,...
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Make Rejection Your Bestie
I’ve had several recent one on ones on the subject of rejection, and I’m feeling the urge to riff about it. James Altucher once said, “Rejection-and the fear of rejection-is the biggest impediment we face to choosing ourselves”. And how does rejection or rather, the fear of it, keep us from...
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Does "Be the Change" Trigger You?
I’ve been told that Be the Change in Your Marriage as a name is triggering and sets off feminist “alarm bells”. Let’s talk about this. I find it extremely interesting that the name should have this effect given that it’s widely accepted as fact that it isn’t possible to change another person, and...
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Mom Life Be Like…
Should I move the laundry to the dryer or go pee first? Better go pee if I’m starting the washer next. Oh speaking of water, did I ever get Jackson the drink he was asking for? No And did I water the fern? Should I do that on my way to the bathroom? Wait, baby Emma dumped out all the salt from…
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This is for You if…
Do you sometimes find yourself wondering how the monster got inside you who randomly rages at your husband and/or kids? Do you lash out at them and then lash yourself forty times with the guilt? Do you feel like you’re the only one who cares about your family’s well-being, and then, in your…
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You Are Always, Always Loved
Do you sometimes feel like no one really cares about your feelings? In the lyrics from Dear Evan Hansen: Do you ever feel forgotten in the middle of nowhere? Do you ever feel like you could disappear? Like you could fall and no one would hear? As you wipe another nose, unstick another backpack...
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From Hopeless to Heavenly: My Story
At 25 years old, I thought my world was ending. I thought I’d lost my last chance at happiness, because I had married someone who wasn’t loving me the way I thought I should be loved. I felt rejected. I felt hopeless. I railed on myself for being so utterly foolish and for being too weak to step...
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Your Miracle Morning
When you’re deep in distress, getting out of bed can require every ounce of your willpower and might be the most difficult step you’re called upon to take. It also might be the single most important. Listen to this tender quote from Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. “If you cannot fly then run, if you...
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Who Are You, Really?
The personality you’re carrying around and displaying to the general public is only a set of defenses you’ve gradually constructed through your experience of growing up. The way you navigated your childhood and dealt with the needs, pressures and emotions in yourself and others, crafted the set…
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Three Fake Problems You Don’t Actually Have to Stress Over
Given that your 14 year old is spending his math class playing Call of Duty mobile, and your Mother-In-Law is dropping less than subtle hints that her son deserves a wife who cooks more frequently, you definitely have enough on your plate without stressing over fake problems that really don’t...
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Three Magic Questions
I just plowed through Michele Weiner-Davis’s awesome book, DIVORCE BUSTING. It reminded me of how much I used to enjoy using Solution Focused Brief Therapy with my therapy clients. It is such a simple but absolutely brilliant mindset shift. It’s like a giant shovel that digs out all the thick,...
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Triggered
I call it your “Secret Horror,” because I love to wax melodramatic, but in the literature it goes by many names: “Cracked Identity,” “Schema,” “Raw Spot,” “Self-Defeating Belief,” etc. What you really need to know about it, is that it’s a thought or a story you’re carrying around with you because...
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7 Steps to a Market Ready Marriage
What if you were thinking of ending your marriage, but you decided to go all in on seeing what could be salvaged of it, so you could tell yourself you did your best? And what if after all that work you fell in love again and lost every desire to leave? Marriage wisdom from awesome realtor Jaydee...
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Six Sure Predictors of Divorce and How to Combat Them
The Oxford Dictionary defines contempt as the feeling that a person or a thing is beneath consideration, worthless, or deserving scorn. And it’s a huge predictor of divorce. So much so that John Gottman wittily named it one of the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse. In Gottman’s estimation, and the...
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#WINNING
As a wife and mom, you know you are winning when: You make the successful transfer of a sleeping baby from your arms to the crib. When the black marker scribbles all over the couch AREN’T Sharpie. When your husband tells you your hair looks cute. When the poo’s firm enough to plop in the toilet…
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I ❤️ Some Guy With Six Kids
Now hang onto your Shea Butter baby wipes, because I want to tell you how I met my husband and how it all ties into the core message I want to bring to the hearts of suffering mamas. Divorce involving kids is worse than being slathered in honey barbecue sauce and braving a swarm of wasps while…
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About this show
Thank you so much for listening! New episodes on hold indefinitely due to child’s cancer diagnosis. ❤️🩹❤️🩹❤️🩹
Hosted by
Summer Cox
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