Do Cheaters Change? The Truth About Infidelity with Dr. Kathy Nickerson | The Gaslit Truth Podcast with Dr Teralyn Sell and Therapist Jenn Schmitz

Send us Fan Mail“Once a cheater, always a cheater” is one of the stickiest relationship clichés on the internet, and it shapes how people judge themselves and their partners after betrayal. We sit down with psychologist Dr. Kathy Nickerson to put real data next to the hot takes, including findings from her large infidelity survey and her work alongside Dr. John Gottman. What emerges is a more complex, more human picture of cheating, regret, and why many couples choose reconciliation after infidelity.We talk about the myths that do the most damage: that cheaters only feel remorse when they’re caught, that most are narcissists who never change, and that love can’t exist if someone cheats. We also name the lived reality for the betrayed partner: betrayal trauma can feel like a psychological blast radius where safety, identity, and even your memories get questioned. From there we get practical about healing without self-blame, especially when mental health labels like anxiety or depression get twisted into “reasons” that a partner strayed.Then we dig into limerence and the affair fog, the obsessive fantasy bond that can make an affair feel like destiny. Dr. Nickerson explains what limerence is, why it can hit hard, and what helps people step back into reality: ending contact, stopping the fantasy loop, getting individual support, and rebuilding connection in the primary relationship. We also explore morality under pain, how people rationalize the irrational, and why a terrible choice doesn’t have to become someone’s permanent identity.If you’re navigating affair recovery, couples therapy after infidelity, or the brutal question of whether to stay or go, this conversation gives you language, research, and grounded hope. Subscribe, share this with someone who needs it, and leave a review with the myth you want us to tackle next.We're recruiting for a first-of-its-kind psychiatric medication withdrawal research study. If you've experienced psychiatric medication withdrawal, you may be eligible to participate.  Email [email protected] to learn more.  Savorista Coffee is offering our listeners 25% off their premium craft decaf and half caf blends with bold flavors, ethically sourced beans, and natural decaffeination. Small-batch roasted for exceptional taste. EUse promo code GASLIT at checkout! https://savorista.com/discount/GASLIT 💊 Ready to Deprescribe Your Psych Meds?Psych meds have harmed us—and we’re not just survivors, we’re deeply educated in psychopharmacology, psychology, and nutrition. As hosts of The Gaslit Truth Podcast, we guide people safely off psychiatric medications with strategies grounded in science and brain health🔥 You’ve been harmed. You’ve been dismissed. It’s time to take your brain back—with guidance from people who’ve been there and know their stuff.Support the showAre you tired of being gaslit and want to DEEP THROAT some more truth? We want to hear from you!  Message us your gaslit stories at [email protected] you are at it, Follow us on Instagram, Facebook and YouTube @thegaslittruthpodcast.  Be sure to Hit that subscribe button and get alerts for more episodes! Thanks for listening!Follow Us individually atDr. Teralyn:Instagram @Dr_TeralynFacebook  @DrTeralynTik Tok @Dr_TeralynTherapist Jenn: Instagram @TherapistJenTikTok @Jenn.Schmitz