Don't jeopardize your mental health even to be of service

brain, learning, mental health, consciousness, psych ward, psychosis, damaged, meaningsHappy New Year to myself. It's 2017 wasn't sure if I'd make it. Remember before my birthday, I was in the psych ward, and I was turning 34. And I wasn't sure if I was gonna make it past 33 I was really afraid. So I made it through the year. And I'm in this tiny little room just because I can hear the TV noise through the floor in the living room. And I was in here anyway, I was looking for some information. And this morning, I did tiare trauma releasing exercise by Dr. briselli. It's the fourth or fifth time I've done it, I'm going to try and do it every other day or every few days. And it's also day four of taking EMP. I did take it this morning. And I didn't get any of that white stuff on my hands. But I was feeling pretty happy. For a while now I feel I feel right. I was jumping on my mini trampoline. And I felt like a good jump on it all day. No, then I shoveled some snow. I was looking through some of my binders of information from when I was doing all that research in the last couple of years. And I came across this paper that I have notes on from when I spoke with Victoria Maxwell, who is a mental health speaker and advocate and consultant. And I spoke with her on the phone. And we were talking about mental health. And she gave me this piece of advice. And it says first priority. Don't do anything to jeopardize your own mental health and own physical well being even when you're wanting to be of service. And she said this is an important guide post. And I found it interesting just because I feel like I know that working in mental health isn't good for my mental health. Yet, I'm still working in it. But I know I'm going to change that soon. It was a good reminder for myself though, because I probably spoke with her over two years ago. And I have a note about i a transgenic illness. And I didn't know what that meant. So I looked it up in it something about the illness being caused by the treatment. And I resonate with that in terms of how I was treated in the psych ward in April of last year now I can say of last year. And I also came across this sheet that I got when I saw this lady who does live blood cell analysis. I've seen her twice over the years. And she's always right on with what to do. And she even wrote, take em power 12 a day for two weeks. And I'm actually seeing her on Wednesday. So I'm gonna bring this and talk to her and see if she thinks I should do that. Or if I should just take a little bit like I'm taking or what I should do. And I found this paper I printed out on pyrole disorder. It's on pyrole urea. That's hard to say, and Candida. And I pulled it out of the binder just because I think Hyrule disorder is about something to do with hemoglobin. And right now I'm actually quite interested in this whole oxygenation thing. And blood flow and oxygen getting to the brain and blood flow through the capillaries and things. And it's interesting that pyrole disorder often needs a lot more zinc and B six. To help fix the problem. It almost seems like our blood cells aren't even being metabolized properly. It says pi roll a key component of him as an hemoglobin Is overproduced in the liver. The severity of this condition fluctuates wildly as it's strongly related to stress. And it seems like why would the liver over produce a component of heme, maybe it's trying to produce more blood cells because the ones we have aren't properly going through the capillaries or something like maybe it's trying to change the structure of the blood cell. I actually feel it's hard to really explain what I'm thinking about in terms of this. But it's sort of like, I think the brain is desperate for oxygen and nutrients that starved. And it could be that this is a different type of blood cell hoping to get to the other regions of the brain or there's so many different possibilities. But I'm just seeing this theme right now. Because I g