Don't say "Calm Down!" episode artwork

EPISODE · Jun 17, 2025 · 10 MIN

Don't say "Calm Down!"

from Turn it Up! Marriage Tips and Tools · host by Kelly DuPée

Why Telling Your Spouse to Calm Down is Hurting Your MarriageJoin Kelly DuPee, pastor, police chaplain, Christian marriage coach, and author, as he explains why telling your spouse to calm down can escalate rather than diffuse tension. Learn seven biblical action steps to respond with compassion and wisdom: listening first, validating feelings, asking questions, offering presence, speaking gently, allowing space for processing, and following up. These principles promote deeper intimacy and stronger connections in marriage.Want to improve the communication in your marriage? Here's the link to Kelly's free Couple's Communication Guide: https://www.turnitup.coach/communicationguide00:00 Introduction: The Impact of 'Calm Down'00:24 Meet Kelly DuPee: Your Marriage Coach00:51 Why 'Calm Down' is Harmful02:10 Biblical Principles for Responding to an Upset Spouse02:19 Action Step 1: Listen First, Speak Second03:12 Action Step 2: Validate Their Feelings04:34 Action Step 3: Ask Questions to Understand05:32 Action Step 4: Offer Presence, Not Solutions06:36 Action Step 5: Speak Gentle Words07:19 Action Step 6: Allow Space for Processing08:01 Action Step 7: Follow Up09:00 Conclusion: Building a God-Honoring RelationshipWhen your spouse is upset, telling them to "calm down" can quickly escalate things. Instead, practice active listening and show empathy to de-escalate the situation. Focus on marriage and use communication to build marriage strength.For more on this, check out this video - How to Stop Defensiveness. Here's the link:https://youtu.be/DUP8wWRew9UCall or text Kelly at 626-804-1731 for a free, no obligation Strategy call or use https://tidycal.com/kdupee1/30-minute-clarity-call

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Don't say "Calm Down!"

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This episode is 10 minutes long.

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This episode was published on June 17, 2025.

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Why Telling Your Spouse to Calm Down is Hurting Your MarriageJoin Kelly DuPee, pastor, police chaplain, Christian marriage coach, and author, as he explains why telling your spouse to calm down can escalate rather than diffuse tension. Learn seven...

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