Hello again. Welcome to another episode of Jesse and Wilder's Guide to Life. I'm Jesse That's Wilder and we're in quarantine hell babies. Welcome to it the spookiest episode probably not in terms of content But in terms of just the time to be alive.
Yeah, yeah, correct. Correct. The current timeline has spun out of control Bro, I'm just gonna say it honestly. I'm just gonna fucking say it do it tell him fuck this virus Oh feels good to say it.
Yeah, it does suck is the deal is it sucks hard nuggets the whole thing about it is that it's very bad Yeah, it's taken pretty much everything for me at this point I know that you guys were all like maybe it's not so bad. Guess what? I gotta tell you I'm here to say it. Let me just hold on.
I'm just refresh the data. Yeah. Oh, yeah It's still can eat my whole asshole. It sucks big shit.
Basically. Hey virus. You suck big shit. Oh my god.
Tell me I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. Yes, please deliver this virus. I hate her absolutely Baby what do we do to haters?
We fucking step to them This virus is front and so hard. It's unbelievable It's like fully on fucking front street and I will be the first to fucking say back the fuck off Hater back the fuck up from us Hater You can like okay the virus got coachella canceled the virus got stopped by canceled the NBA is canceled all the sports are canceled Everything is fucking canceled. Obviously, I'm canceling all of the trash We're canceling all trash was events because it's a fucking event where you have to pass a controller back and forth between people It's the quite literally the worst maybe thing you could do. Yeah, is it part of trash bros that you guys just lick each other after we do You have to lick the controller and then lick the you know people play that game at parties where they like inhale With like a credit card push to their lips, and then you have to pass it to oh, yeah Yeah, yeah, yeah, we do that but with controllers and tons damn that is first of all very sexy Second of all lot of lung capacity would take to inhale so hard that a controller sticks to your mouth now You got to use your big spawn time.
Oh spawn tongue required got it Yeah, but I did text the manager of this bar, and he said he said I quote Let's see what happens sucks the human ass lips. You heard it, baby Is New York bars lockdown yet or is that just here? I think that bars and restaurants unless they're doing carry out and takeout and delivery is their shut yeah here for at least the rest Of the month any public space like movie theaters or bowling alleys or restaurants that don't do take out damn so many restaurants gonna close Yeah, oh don't make me say it again. Yeah, it's the biggest hater I cannot wait to also a little just a small just a little small I'd like to step to one more hater, please.
Oh, please saw a news alert this morning out of the Philippines Confirmed case of bird flu. Hey, oh that won't do that's not gonna do it's enough y'all for sure enough So this is the actual end of the world it's gotta be but I won't take it so Roland Emric was wrong It's not gonna get colder. I'm gonna die step into haters believe that's fine We were gonna go the way we came yeah, we die as we lived put with with our timberlands on step into the haters Here's the thing you can't solve that south by Southwest. We already went to Austin.
We don't need to go back to Austin Yeah, we conquered that place you could cancel Coachella I don't need a feel for like people wearing a Native American clothes. You could cancel that shit Yeah, there's some rumors on the wind about this fucking presence canceling potentially the Olympics Yeah, and that's gonna be a gigantic problem for us and that's a problem for us You guys we did not expect when we turned 31 this year We did not think that we were going to have to hunt down and kill a super virus But things don't always work out the way you planned and when the Olympics are in trouble. Yes, they are in peril We have no choice but to assemble a task force to hunt and kill and destroy the super virus once and for all Yeah, and obviously there's also the thing of people getting sick and being unwell and that's we're fighting for that as well Yeah, what throw it in that's fine. Yes, but primarily the issue is you better not try and fuck with my little Olympics because it's gonna be a big issue Olympics are untouchable Yeah, I'm gonna have to stop that virus ass in if you think I ain't getting my Olympics now Let me ask you something if they y'all way above forbid yeah, they canceled the Olympics I would assume they would push it back though because like these people have trained their whole lives What if they push it back for years?
What if they just say we're not gonna do it this time around? So that will be no good that will be no good for me that will be no good for me I need my little Olympics first of all four years is a long time to wait guys That's a whole good dang presidential term. Oh beans I just can't even think about more of a coward than this ding dang virus Mm-hmm what coming around ruin and all my things without any type of concern for what I'm interested in and what I've got planned Yeah, and my my hopes and dreams mind you mind you mind you the hopes and dreams of everyone else Okay, and doesn't even have the fucking spine to show its dumb fucking face for me to kick its stupid fucking teeth in No, thank you kind of coward shit is that yeah, so if you're listening COVID-19 Oh, I know you definitely are you up in PDX you probably some of them listen to PDX Nah, he the COVID COVID is most assuredly that reviewer that gave us that five star review that sounded like a robot It's confirmed now. That's the virus.
It was trying to throw its office and we're on to you you dumb son of a bitch We're on to you assho only only so long you could hide for these boys get to you So I think this is we might as well get into our topic today ladies and germs because in a manner of crisis People begin to prepare for doomsday seamless transition here We might as well bring you something that you're always in need of a rubric for and that is of course Uh-huh doomsday preparation we're gonna do doomsday prep and this is like a we talked about the virus But also this is sort of a generic this is your and should we just for real quick do a category of potential types of doomsday? I don't know that that's a category in prep that could be like a notes section Can we add a new section called notes? This is our house. Yeah, that's true.
We are in our house. Mm-hmm category number one bunker, right? Yeah, those of us who can so this is the sort of doomsday prep where you're basically you're not taking action You're gonna sort of wait it out. We're talking about storm of the century.
We're talking about twist out Yeah, sort of the same thing there. I guess yeah, I guess the twist that wouldn't be the doomsday though Maybe like a godzilla king of the frogs. Yeah, boy. It's really hard to just say Godzilla like that.
You ever noticed that? Oh, I'm nearly impossible. I would say brother. We did this already and I know It sucks you're hiding out twist that you're hiding out guys looking at the frogs But you are doing the thing where you just listed the doomsday's which I didn't want you back on that back on that you got a Stop, so bunker.
Okay, very quite lit. We're talking about what we have in the bunker basically all bunker related things I wouldn't say necessarily what's in the bunker because that'll be addressed in other categories to a certain extent, right? So you kind of want to focus on the book like to me very quite lit underground, right? That's the best.
Yeah, okay, very not quite lit treehouse. Oh my god Yeah, and I actually think that that like that sounds like one of our dumb ones were just like her it would be bad If it was the worst one, but I think treehouse is one that people actually think would be good People think that would be good for doomsday. Yeah, I think that people think treehouse good How about very pretty good a mansion is the mansion like are you talking like a panic room? No, I'm just talking about you got up.
That's all you got is a mansion. I think that is very not quite lit Right, here's the problem with a mansion. You are drawing a lot of heat brother if I'm out on the road again Though this goes back to what kind of doomsday is it the purge but it don't matter if I'm out on the road because of zombies or Godzilla or a storm and I see a big fucking house. That's where I'm going.
I mean that is objectively where I'm going Mm-hmm panic room though. I'm gonna give very pretty good. It's it's small. It's gonna serve its purpose But it's not gonna take me where I need to go like the underground bunker will what kind of bunker exclusives do we have?
Have you know I'm saying okay? They're still very not quite lit. Just the one the one swinging light. Come on I need more than that.
Oh, yeah, okay. Yes, bad very bad very quite lit lots of old dusty tools Why why well cuz it's the bunker they're not gonna be fresh tools. Why not that what if they are? I mean this is our house.
You said it yourself. Why are we settling for crumbum tools? Okay, very new tools fine You have new tools so much this guy can't even touch an old tool. Yeah, I don't why would I get tennis old tool the name of my next album?
Oh boy, I got one for you. I want like an MIB style hidden weapons cache Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, you pull on that one swinging light and then the wall First matrix makes a little throw those guns. You want some that big? Well, not that big That's wild but like and also that's a little excessive and like impractical But how about how about wild wild west when they're on the train?
Mm-hmm my favorite my favorite doomsday movie wild wild west giant spider giant Metal spider gotta be on the list. Yeah, how about like secret exit? You know, I mean oh, yes All the way to the kitchen through it secret exit is that okay is secret exit? Very pretty good because sometimes a neared who well stumbles upon the secret exit from the outside and then well It's not a very good secret exit true to true to true to true to exit.
Yeah, I'm very not quite lit many exits many visible exits Oh crew. I like crew. Yeah, I feel like crew basically gonna be in almost every single thing we do But that's fine. Give me like someone ex-military or you know what I mean?
Oh, that's a very pretty good to me because that's the first one to fly off the handle, right? Yeah, they are gonna be a little nutsy, huh? Yeah, ex-military like slash cop to me is like good and very bad maybe like bear grills Oh, uh-huh, that's very quite lit. Yes.
Yeah, he seems a good person your crew this sucks, but I just I just have to say it Pregnant lady. Yeah, that's a bummer, but it's not gonna help anything in this situation Can I hit you with another one since we're just already here a kid? Oh Fucking fuck that kid. I don't care what this fucking scenario is bro kid very not quite lit child, baby Useless useless.
Yeah, that's no good. Oh, I got another very not quite like remember though. Go on the guy who gets bitten That doesn't tell the group. Okay.
Yeah for sure. Bro tell the group Yeah, it sucks because but then at least you have some agency over what happens next rather than like well great now We have to kill you for sure that simple. You gotta tell the dang group. Oh, I got another category I'm full categories hit me a plan baby.
You have to have a plan, right? Okay, we love talking about plans as a doomsday. Perhaps you go to have a plan so we talk about like survive Is that a plan or like fight? What do we mean?
No? No? No? I mean like um The plan is always to survive right?
That's the point of a doomsday, but like like I'll give you a very pretty good plan I'm so sorry I want to apologize to everyone including Wilder But I do think that a legitimate plan to consider when it's a doomsday is to consume one another Quit talking about consuming one another but do you agree that it is part of a plan sometimes during a doomsday that if they run out of food They must consume one another good though. This is a good thing to you Well, if it's part of the plan, let me give you a scenario This is part of the plan to eventually consume one another let me give you a fucking scenario It's a contingency plan The scenario is there's six of us down in the bunker and one of them's a kid and the plan is we're gonna live as long as we can But if we have to eat somebody that kid get an eight. Yeah, you gotta eat that kid eat the kid Kid we can agree that that's very pretty good, right? Yeah, I guess yeah as long as it's the kid cuz fuck the kid like don't I'm gonna say it again Okay, but even if it's not a kid I think that eating resulting in cannibalism is very pretty good Yeah, I'm just putting some more types of doomsday's here Yeah, I know you cannot get enough of listing doomsday's and I just won't have you do it while we're yeah great He wrote bird box.
Oh, you know, who's a horrible crew member person who came from another crew? Oh, yeah, you gotta roll with you in your own cuz it's always like except no other entrance to this little situation Huh? Yeah, I hate when somebody from another doomsday crew comes up and I'm just like not okay And you got to be like how many walkers have you killed yeah, and you got to show them your scalps, please I think weapons is some category also I got a lot of guys about like we think about by the That's got me a very good group member, right? He's a tough guy he or she or they know how to be part of a crew probably can whip a little bit of ass right?
Yeah, probably big and burly strong sure tough. Yeah loyal loyal. God is a biker very quite lit. Yeah, actually your pro It's probably it is I would say and they got a motorbike.
That's faster than a zombie faster than a virus That's for damn sure is it faster than a virus while boo virus slow as hell bro supplies a very quite little one is boring A lot of this is gonna be boring practical stuff gasoline. Yeah, the boring ones now gasoline a fooda Yeah, food yeah, and you need like medkit right? That's like My god very quite like crew member of medical professional huh, doctor boy Imagine how fucked we would be in any doomsday situation if somebody got actually sick and you didn't have anyone who knew shit about dick about Very pretty good crude dumb guy. What's good about dumb guy?
Oh brother if you need to sacrifice someone to the zombos It is the best oh yeah you throw them yeah you throw them you throw them that guy easily trick Like if you're if you're the leader right and you need an extra vote if you're casting a vote to like who has to go fight the good Zilla then you talk to the do you think of this scenario everyone one person the group like whether he draws straws and that person has to go fight Godzilla No, no, I'm saying that I'm me and you are both kind of the co leaders of this group And I'm like we need to stay in this bunker that makes sense that God's gonna know we're here and you idiot are like No, we should we gotta go fight the Godzilla is the only way then if we're gonna vote and it's 50 50 I could talk to the dumb person who's easily swayed you see I'm saying because there's a Stupid waste of our time that don't guys are gonna be Godzilla I know that dumb dumb no listen it's we're not voting on who's fighting Godzilla stupid We're voting on if we we we as a group should go fight Godzilla and I need dumb person because he's the swing vote Okay, you're talking about swing vote I understand now Got it. Here's my thing. I think we came in here with our Dixa flame talking about our task force Why don't we real quick build out this virus killing task force that we have proffered bear grills a biker and a medical professional Are honestly a pretty our virus killing task force because bear girls is out already. This is this is useless to me Why bear grills out survivalist what is he gonna do to kill a virus we need a scientist a sky and test is a very quite Lick you say that until like we're in quarantine and we need to we need fresh water.
I'll make my own freshwater Oh my god, you're an idiot. Oh sky and test hello. Okay. Yeah, scientist good.
Oh, I got a bad one. I'm sorry Yeah dog very quickly for part of your crew. Oh geez you I really don't want it Yeah, no, I mean it's extra food the dog eats extra food It's it's a liability your gun to lose that dog and it's gonna be a bummer And then you got it you got a kind of legend style just suffocate that dog right in the middle of your lab And then you got to aid them you got a no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no You gotta hate that dog the dog oh You know what else is good about dumb person What else they're a fucking test rat if we're talking about yeah, we think that we develop the cure ourselves stick it in him put the put that dumb Hey dumb guy dumb guy come here. What's your name?
Nance Nancy oh come here Nancy oh stick this pill in your mouth. Tell me what happens. No the big key is you get a shot You're like hey, Nancy. What's that over there?
Nancy turns on you just jab them right in the arm Oh, sorry gotcha. Yeah, and then when Nancy's arm falls off you go. Okay. This is not the correct formula yet Let's keep working and then you keep working until Nancy has no limbs left and he's finally served his purpose Yeah, and he's actually could sure in that one timeline and butterfly fact when he wakes up with no limbs Okay, I put the Olympic sprinter is very quite lit for crew only for only for that person though No, so think about this.
Oh, they're gonna run to the store and get supplies. Yes, correct We're here with the medical professional here with scientists. Hey, so sort of like a maze runner You would like a maze runner on your team. Oh my god.
Yes, please a maze runner got to be a bonus point Gotta be it's also a catness. I mean if we're just talking for just talking YA lit bonus points Yeah, no, let me ask you this is Tony Hawk another bonus point. Gotta be Right he's probably got something to contribute I want to talk about gadgets and we're gonna go into some more boring stuff just because we have to Generators and solar panels and shit, right? That's like yeah, I mean so boring but I know I know I know I know I know I know I know Sorry to just fucking boring when you said generator Very pretty good gadget is a drone, okay Yeah, it's it'd be kind of cool, right if it's like why is it not very pretty wise and not very quite lit again You're drawn a lot of heat if you have it if it's a zombie it can't reach that what's that?
I'm not talking about reaching that but it's got it's like it's gonna take off and land and either a zumbo or like if you're talking like You didn't get an effective virus the virus ain't gonna Right, but look let's say okay, let's let me paint you a picture since you are such a single-minded fucking Dolt let's say super virus ends up wipe it out lots of us and it's a little bit of a killer be killed I think as I'm always thinking about what happens when it's us versus them right and we're not just talking about the virus We're talking about other survivors who want our supplies same goes for the bird box people right Bird box people always trying to come in and swoop on your supplies if you fucking flop a drone up Yeah, they're gonna find you anybody else's they're gonna be like, okay, so they have power and a drone It's about to fucking kill them. I see I see what I see. Okay, okay, okay weapons I'm always blood objects to me always got to be top of my list blunt. Yeah, you need no ammo They're easy to store.
Yeah, like a baseball bat baseball bat is my ideal You want a blade problem with a blade is samurai sword first of all you know, I'm a master with a samurai sword Oh, tell me were you trained again? I can't remember which I trained with the King Frog himself Godzilla Native Godzilla trained you out of the ancient ways of the samurai. Yes, that's correct. Okay, it is so hard It's incredibly hard incredibly hard to be I'm just gonna put gun obviously gun good and bad pretty good bombs and shit I feel like it never works out when you have a pretty good though You can do a lot of damage with one of them shit bombs I feel like weapons is really something you only need for like a zombie or a bird box or a quiet place So half of the ones we have listed or Godzilla when you have to fight him You're not going to be fighting Godzilla yourself, bro First of all Godzilla is on our side the King Frog protects us do not forget He's about the same right way Well, then why is it a doomsday if he's on our we can't talk about Godzilla again No, because doomsday is the thing that Godzilla's fighting don't you see what?
Mothar comes out. Oh, it's a little Save us so then why do we write Godzilla ain't you ever seen a Godzilla film all of the new ones? He's the bad guy yes or no. No, he's not oh my god He's he's a hero he fucking comes out fights them other monster and then goes back into the pond speaking of that speaking of the the fucking kaiju How about having some pack rim robots?
How about that is your weapon? So what some specific rim fucking robots? Oh, I haven't seen that much in picture. Oh what so which is a big robot?
Yeah, that's a good weapon obviously you get into it It's robot big enough to fight a kaiju so yeah, yeah sure Do you ever do any like like Jewish type kaiju puns like I'm the guy like all the time dog There's gotta be how many what's the over under on Bar mitzvahs that were kaiju themed every single one I went to okay? All of them acted like they were yeah, everyone sat at a different kaiju table and it was just you'd see like Rodan with like a little yarmulke you'd see another critter besides I've already named the only three that I know I'm glad we kind of fell into this territory. We don't know anything about it. Yeah weird for us bad supply video game Supplies like vehicles.
Yeah vehicle. That's a good one. That's a good one right multiple vehicles But are there some bad ones like a bicycle now all of them good because if it's yeah, yeah, because what if it goes If it's a broken bicycles, what you mean? Why would it go chilling?
Linglinglinglinglingling it's not a win-chime some like little kids bikes do that once again just toss little kids to the depths Eight the kids bike eight the kids bike life it plan. We literally only have eight the kid and eight the dog Crew crew member very pretty good Funny funny people is a is a medium crew member useless bro I don't know if you're like if it's if it's a virus and you have to be quarantined you have to be down in the bunker for like three weeks I want I don't want a bunch of fucking why so serious is down there. I need a funny guy like me not No, I'm not thinking you want to just kind of toss like what we're gonna get up We're gonna do like a hot five I just mean like somebody that can make light of things somebody who's like like a tofer grace like a exactly what I was thinking is a Tofa grace which which which tofer role are you thinking are you thinking spider thing of him from predators? Okay?
I believe he was a villain of that movie though spoiler alert predators. Well, he was definitely a villain in spider-man Tofa I got one for a very pretty good very very quite lit plan gotta have a second location in mind Would you agree with that like in case your bunker's compromise? Yeah in case about bunkers compromised or whatever is destroyed or whatever the shit? You know plan I think toss the ocean everybody trying to get to the ocean all the I create sucks and when you get there what the fuck else then what why are you trying to get to the Water you can't drink and now you're back to a wall I'm what you about to swim you about to just get in the water and start swimming I think not get over it with the ocean already like isn't that their whole shit in the road in the road They're going to like a colony that's on that's supposed to be on the ocean.
They're not like headed to the ocean. They're headed to a place That's oh my god fake colony. Oh, I always think there's a group of group is a colony shut up There isn't a colony never really never is there a colony. There's a colony or if it is a colony They're full of bad guys another bad plan that always happens a lot of this is gonna be zombie oriented I apologize another bad plan is like Compromising with the bad guy never works, right?
Oh, yeah, like making a deal deal with the dad making a deal It with anyone is a bad idea deals. Yeah, the deal is off. Hey, this is my this money show Can I hit you with this though a catchphrase wilder? You've been looking for a catchphrase?
Okay, I have been looking for a catchphrase. No deal is a great catchphrase for you. Well, not no deal But just the deal is off the deal is off is a great fucking catchphrase for you. Thank you very much, okay I'll make sure to put that in my arsenal bonus points got to be the deal is off Sure, I do think if you're traveling having a location in mind like sometimes I feel like Heaps are just like we just gonna we just got to get away We just got to get out of the city and it's like well, maybe have a better fucking direction than that What are some do you say is that like I feel like we're only doing like zombie stuff?
I gotta plan that works for lots of them. Hey, this sucks. We're gonna have to really think about who we are as people going searching for survivors Bro, it depends on how many people you're with but if you're with a good group fucking toss that they're dead Yeah, can I tell you can I tell you can I tell you to tell you to eat them children? Hey, hey Wilder, what would you maybe say to somebody who said like we should look for some survivors?
I would look around Squint no turn back to them. I would lower my glasses and say hey bozo the deal is off Yeah, and then I would shoot them with a shocker sure because they were obviously infected Okay, so searching for survivors got to be very pretty good then because sometimes you have to order to build a good crew But you're saying once you have your crew ditch all survivors. Yeah, bro What are they gonna do but what if it's yeah, all right, okay? That's fair you're making hard decisions, and I like it.
This is why I'm the leader. We don't live together. We're gonna die alone Why did you just make that noise because there's a good one? Oh Well, you already had your one good one insta deal is off To use the deal is oh, I can't stop Jesus Christ I feel like sentimental items are things that people want to bring also like work items I think people like oh my research everyone like your research, bro shut up.
Oh, yeah Oh my god research so boring dog research so fucking boring Scientists but no don't you fucking dare don't you try and do any amount of research? I want that scientist to have all the research in his head I don't want that scientist being more valuable to me. I prefer that no one in the crew is more valuable than me What do you think you offer? What is your sort of?
What the fuck do you bring to the crew? Because if I'm looking at this I have to tell you if I'm looking at this and we're being completely honest both of us dumb person That's where both of us is fucking dumb list or both of us children. Yeah children and we're gonna get eight maybe cry, baby Basically, we're a little bit of all the worst stuff I'm kind of a biker. I do have a scooter.
You're nothing like a biker. We both know that. Oh my oh, I got a dark one Go on is it very not quite lit to have? Oh, that is dark.
You're talking sins now. I'm getting full of sins Yeah, unfortunately, I cannot think of a single reason why it would be good to have family That's not a selfish reason and even then it's not great. Yeah, I got a great one for bunker I'll talk goes in there self-sustaining food source like on fucking that Damon Mars movie Oh, yeah, yeah, you are like a cow. Yeah in what way is that a food source though?
That's self-sustaining because you kill that cow and you eat it that food source is going to milk Yeah, I don't know are we calling milk food? Can you live on how long could you live on just milk? Obviously, obviously nobody panic I will google it Just I can tell you that it's just as it has it ever been asked let me give you the autofill Okay, yeah in the order just water obviously yeah second just beer third just potatoes fourth just rice fifth just milk Okay, just Gatorade seventh just corn. How did Gatorade sneak up there?
How about it? How about this murderers row of corn Gatorade and milk? So other people out there what the people want to know yeah, well, I'm looking at how long like the people want to know how long can I live on I'm just milk. Oh god.
This person is a doctor. Okay, Mike Condrone MD in 2004 said quite a while But not indefinitely whole milk has enough fat and protein to keep you going if you drink enough But you will start to get into vitamin and mineral deficiencies after a while So a very pretty good supplies milk because I think you could probably go whole cow milk Do you think one what's the best what's the best milk? I'll google it. Oh, it's it's broke.
We're you naming a brand I'm talking about which animal makes the best milk. Okay. I'll tell you I know it I'm on goop.com looking up some goop facts about alternate milk from other animals I got a gadget that I sort of want to generalize overly complicated homemade device what like a home alone trap Yeah, I think that does actually fit I'll give you a very concrete example. It gets very cold in my apartment in the winter even though we have fucking Central heating it just doesn't work very well.
So my uncle and my dad independently. This is a dad lab fucking special Dad lab my segment where I just talk about a dumb wild-ass thing my dad said mm-hmm This is dad lab's advice. He goes hey look I watch that show doomsday preppers And what they do is they take a ceramic clay pot that you would like put a plant in and you buy one of them And then you you buy these other pieces It's like a metal rod and a bolt and like some candles and some bricks and basically you put the can You build it in a such a way that it basically builds a tiny little clay oven and you put the candles under there and the way that the Convection works it heats up the clay pot to like 150 degrees and heats up a whole room and my stupid ass was like fuck Yeah, dude, that's as tight as hell. So I went to the Home Depot when I built this little oven and it cost me like $45 to build I could just buy a fucking space heater for $45 guess what bro.
It doesn't work bro. It gets hot You can't build it gets hot it doesn't heat up a room like it's hot to the touch it basically puts It puts a big dangerous hot pot on your coffee table is what it does. It does no other things It puts a fire hazard. You probably did it wrong.
You're no good with your hands. No, I built it to perfection It doesn't seem like it was built to perfection at all considering you said it did not work No, I was not working is less than perfect. I got another bad plan medium plan Repopulate the earth. Well, it depends because I don't know if anyone told you what you know what you get to do If that's the case.
Yeah, you get your scientists and he does artificial insemination Let me give you another very mmm. I guess it worked though. Another two for me is get a male and female of every animal like Noah. Oh And Noah, yeah, we didn't put Noah.
We didn't put like a biblical do you know? I don't know what at all is Noah the most Chill character from the Bible stories. Yeah, well cuz you know no, I just want to see them animals fuck You know you think he's in there watching to do the nasty. He's taking notes, baby That's a no what I think of kind of just like a sort of like a grateful dead fan He's just kind of chill.
He's gonna smoke some dober snacks watch a giraffe fuck another giraffe Yeah, you know what got you think no ever switch it up a little bit I bet I could make a half porcupine half cat. Yeah, he's doing a lot of cross-pollination for show Let me ask you this know what got to be a bonus point, huh? Yeah, like he did a great job. He famously the only one that ever pulled it off.
I would say yeah Question so I don't even they were first right yeah, oh you do it do it do it more Bible chat Yeah, we did this last time. Let's do it. I think so what's the deal? I don't even if they're first and then God floods everything But he tells Noah and then everyone dies except for all the animals and then there's no What's the thing about D so hard that he's the one repopulating there?
Oh, bro It's like in a way that we would all come from Noah. I think that there's other Other peeps on the honest straight up just know it and all them am not I think that he convinces I think that the whole thing is like lots of people are skeptical on the arc with Noah like Noah You're full of shit and then by the time he's done a couple people were like there's a fucking bunch of people in Yeah, dude, he definitely brought peeps. Oh, I thought it was just him. No, dude.
That would be crazy He builds the archalone, but like Everything else is yeah, we got you got a whole crew. All right. Let's go We solve Noah's arc today. Check it off the bucket list.
I'm still I'm still fiendin for the second good plan Are there no good plans, bro? Okay, let's just how about this how about this? I'm gonna hit you with one of our potential dumstays and you hit me with what you think The best plan is okay. This is great.
Yeah, this is good storm of the century that got to be waited out Yeah, but that but that okay, so we have that one and it's not great Uh King of Frogs Godzilla Godzilla got to be waited out, but no you can't maybe not wait it out Because what if he steps on you what if he come on over and step on you okay? But then that's keep moving so I think keep moving to me is key for King of Frogs, but that's me that's a medium total I think we talked about that like the zombies What even is the plan with zombies? What's the ideal that one so here's something I was thinking about for a plan And you can tell me if it's very quite late or not What about Becoming a couple of island boys. Okay, you mean just fuck off to an island.
Yeah, is there a situation to get you there? Because like memory it follows she'll just like walk through the water right but that's not under that boat But that's not such a doomsday it follows ain't really a doomsday. That's like a haunting situation follows is a doomsday It's just like a really slow one no, but it doomsday affects more than one person or like more than one person at all It's gonna feel like eventually take everybody out. She's working her way through it.
Yeah, is it she I don't remember are they? She I was a big story and it is when she goes and has sex with those bullways welcome to it follows chat Okay, no, no, but that's not a dupe that's doesn't count as doomsday to me. You're just talking about horror film. That's like That's nothing okay, but how do you get to this island cuz then I feel like someone else gonna find a way to get to the island that way if it's storm The century I guess you don't want to be on an island Godzilla.
I think islands a good bet He's kind of a he's either in the sea Godzilla and I guess the monster that goes fighting is not gonna get you on the island Okay, I think you're okay from the island giant metal spider metal candle and water everybody knows that's allergic to it That's good. Mm-hmm super virus. It's gonna be a toss-up right like it's either gonna You're either staying away from it or yeah, or you're infecting the whole thing. Yeah, okay, so island is also medium, bro Fuck there's not that many perfect plans, so I guess that just having second location guys That's the only good thing for having a plan.
Oh, you know a plan This is not a plan, but I think like it's still a plan remain calm I think that always works and I think that's important because any of this crew members can freak out at any given time for any given reason Right some more than others, but certainly anybody freak out But good plan just fucking remain calm and how about this one to communicate how's that for a plan? Oh wow how about work together collaborate? I did say live together dialogue, which was like a much cooler way. Oh you did you did you did live live together or die alone correct?
It's a quote from a little show I like to call Lost I knew I yeah, it was crazy cuz I knew you were gonna say lost and then you forgot the name of the show is what it's out of like Sort of escape me damn dude. I think this is a yeah I think we pretty much knocked out the fucking pork because we are nothing if not prepared for the doomsday Yeah, I think and if you know anyone that's right for our task force just like fucking send them our way Yeah, I believe that them because not just anybody gets into this drop their name in a five-star review on fucking the app store Bro in iTunes dude hit me with it. They won't I know they won't don't you see how about how about this? You're even this one.
I'm gonna add one more thing to the rubric plan leave a five-star Bonus point in every episode So Shout out to big Adam fame is big art shout out to big Todd and his big music shout out to I guess Not you but like just the big BK because you're not our number two right under PDX of course. Oh Very good. I think some of my students come across it. So okay.
That's welcome. Welcome students. We a kid and dog So yeah ain't you heard we eat everything here? This is a weird energy to have one might argue that we are a couple of consumers Catch you fucking freaks on the flippity skip.
Yeah, and hey if anyone wants to drink milk and just see how long you can last Do it. Let us know just we did us JW guide. Oh, yeah, drop the socials before we go quick. Just go ahead.
That's all of them Facebook go to the website the blog anyways. Bye