Dreyer Drive #048 - Ernest Goes to Camp

So, I don’t know how to start this, so I’m just going to say it: I recently climbed a mountain that made me question every life choice I’ve ever made, and then I came home and watched Ernest Goes to Camp and cried during a song about rain. This is the quality content you subscribe to.---Wait, Hold On. Let’s Back UpSo, first of all, Mount Nebo. For the record, I didn’t think I was climbing the highest peak in Utah. I thought I was going on, like, a cute hike. A fun girl’s day. Maybe we’d see some wildflowers. Maybe I’d get some Instagram content out of it. Instead, I got altitude sickness, a bruised spine, and the humbling realization that I am not, in fact, “pretty good at hiking” just because I live on a mountain and walk my dog sometimes.The false summit alone—don’t even get me started. You think you’re done. You think you’ve made it. You’re standing there like a sweaty, out-of-breath idiot, and then some guy with walking poles is like, “Oh, that’s not the summit. That’s just the thing you have to climb to get to the summit.” And you’re like, I’m sorry, what?I wanted to die. Multiple times. I told my friends to leave me. I was ready to just sit on a rock and become part of the mountain. But we made it. And when I got to the top, I yelled “HELLO, AUNTIE GAYLE” as loud as I could, because that’s what you do when you’re at the highest point you’ve ever been and you remember your aunt telling you as a kid that if you yell her name from anywhere, she’ll hear you. Spoiler alert: She did not text me.---Okay, Cool—Now Let’s Talk About ErnestAfter all that, I came home and watched Ernest Goes to Camp and what I was not prepared for: it’s actually good. Like, genuinely funny. I laughed out loud multiple times. My ten-year-old son is now obsessed. And I realized that this movie—this goofy, $3.5 million budget, kids-making-Molotov-cocktails movie—might be one of the most earnest (pun intended) things I’ve ever watched.Jim Varney, who played Ernest, was a classically trained Shakespearean actor. He wanted to play Hamlet. Instead, he became a guy in a denim vest who talked to the camera and did commercials for dairies and HVAC companies. And he hated being pigeonholed by the character. But you know what he did anyway? He showed up. For hundreds of Make-A-Wish kids. He gave a terminally ill eight-year-old girl birthstone earrings so she could wear them in her casket. He went to the Toy Story 2 premiere bald from chemo treatment and died a few months later at 50. His gravestone says, “Suffer the little children to come unto me.”I’m not crying. You’re crying.---The Part Where I Confess Something UnhingedOkay, we’re all sharing and being vulnerable right? Right?? I need to tell you something. And I swear to you, this is true. I’m not making this up.When I was a kid, I had this white wrought-iron bed with three gold balls on the bedposts. And I assigned them personalities. They were Alvin, Simon, and Theodore. From Alvin and the Chipmunks. Except they weren’t chipmunks. They were literally just gold spheres sitting on top of white posts. And I had a crush on Alvin. The gold ball. The bedpost ornament.I don’t think I’ve ever said that out loud before.But here’s the thing: Ernest is kind of like that. He’s this character who’s so earnest, so genuinely, deeply kind, that he makes you believe in things that don’t make sense. Like bedpost chipmunks. Or turtles in parachutes. Or the idea that a bunch of juvenile delinquents and a guy who plunges toilets for a living can save a summer camp by building catapults and singing about rain.---“I’m Awfully Glad It’s Raining”—A Scene That Shouldn’t Work But DoesThere’s this scene in the movie where Ernest is trying to win over the Second Chancers, these kids from juvie who’ve been written off by everyone. And he sings this song called “I’m Awfully Glad It’s Raining.” It’s an original song written for the movie. Jim Varney did it in one take. The cast and crew were crying.And here’s the thing: it works. It shouldn’t. This is a movie where a guy gets a turtle stuck to his nose and later stages a coup involving golf carts and Molotov cocktails. But for three minutes, it’s the most genuine, tender thing you’ve ever seen. It’s the moment where everyone, the kids, the audience, me sitting on my couch with my notes, buys into Ernest completely.That’s the magic of the character. He treats everyone the same. He doesn’t pass judgment. He doesn’t condescend. He just shows up and tries his best, even when his best involves accidentally convincing a Native American chief to sign away land rights because he doesn’t understand what’s happening.(Also, yes, there are some… choices in this movie that didn’t age great. But somehow, Ernest’s heart is so pure that you kind of forgive it? I don’t know. It’s weird.)---What Happened to Montages and Builder Culture?One thing that struck me watching this as an adult: what happened to montages? This movie has, like, four of them. The “I’m Awfully Glad It’s Raining” montage. The “We Are Bravehearts” montage where they’re building weapons out of junk. The golf cart crashing through various scenes like a recurring gag. And not just montages, builder montages. You know, where characters just… make stuff. With their hands. Kevin McCallister booby-trapping his house. Ernest and the Second Chancers constructing elaborate catapults and smoke bombs. There’s something so satisfying about watching characters solve problems by building things, and I feel like we’ve lost that. Now it’s all CGI and someone explaining the plan out loud while pointing at a hologram.Also, in the 80s and 90s, we just let kids do way more dangerous stuff in movies. Like, these children are literally making Molotov cocktails and launching turtles in parachutes at construction workers. Can you imagine that getting greenlit today? Absolutely not. Liability killed builder culture, dot dot dot.---Why This Movie Still Holds Up (And Why You Should Watch It Again)Here’s what I think: Ernest Goes to Camp works because it’s about something real. It’s about a guy who wants to matter. Who wants to be seen. Who’s been told his whole life that he’s not good enough, and then he gets one shot to prove himself, and he does it by just… being kind. By showing up. By treating people, especially people everyone else has written off, with dignity.And yeah, it’s also about a guy who breaks his nose on camera (that punch is real, by the way, you can hear the crack) and makes jokes about quiche and Vietnam and gets chased by a driverless golf cart. But that’s the thing about Ernest: he’s both. He’s the guy who makes you laugh and the guy who makes you cry during a song about rain.Also, Jim Varney had a photographic memory and could deliver entire scripts in one take, which is wild. And he was one of the most requested Make-A-Wish visits of his era. And he hated being Ernest but kept doing it anyway because kids loved him. Truly, what a guy.---A Brief Digression About My Brother, the EngineerSo Ryan recently got recategorized by the Japanese government as an engineer. He’s never been an engineer. He “manages” engineers. But he updated his LinkedIn immediately and started joining Facebook groups for engineers in Japan. He also designed a house on a napkin and had AI render it, and the AI gave him three luxury cars in the garage. I just think that’s the kind of confidence we should all have. Like Ernest-level confidence. The kind where you’re like, “Yeah, I’m an engineer now,” and you just believe it.(For the record, I would 100% go into business with Ryan. We’d open a grocery store. I’d run the deli. He’d run produce. We’d constantly have to explain that we’re siblings, not married.)---The Unhinged Text Message of the WeekRyan sent me a photo of his daughter’s sticker album. The cover says “Let’s Be Natural” and features several rabbits saying things like “delicious,” “tender feelings,” “carefree living” (while hiding its face sadly), and my personal favorite: “there are many things I want to do.”Tag yourself. I’m the bunny who says there are many things I want to do but gives no indication what those things are.---So, What’s the Takeaway Here?I don’t know. I climbed a mountain and almost died. I came home and watched a movie about a janitor who saves a camp by being kind. I confessed to having a childhood crush on a bedpost. My brother is now an engineer. I think the point is: Ernest Goes to Camp holds up. It’s funny. It’s sweet. It’s got heart. And if you haven’t watched it in 30 years, you should. Bring tissues for the rain song. Bring your kids. Bring your sense of wonder about a time when movies let children build catapults and launch turtles at bad guys.And if you see a mountain, maybe just… don’t climb it.Or do. I don’t know. There are many things I want to do.---Now go watch Ernest Goes to Camp. Subscribe to the podcast. Leave us a five-star review. And tell me: which rabbit are you?Stay crispy.--- This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit dreyerdrive.substack.com