I'm Jesse and Wilder. I'm Jesse. That's Wilder. And we're here to guide your life.
And I have exciting news. Oh, somebody called the voice mail. Can't believe it. What's cool is it was obviously Johnny Banana.
Shout out to him. I would love to play the audio, but Johnny gave his own podcast in response to our podcast. That voice mail clocking it almost a full two minutes. A little podcast in a podcast.
If someone left you a two minute voice mail. Stop right there. If someone left me a voice mail. Let me have voice mail.
The other day I was at the movie by myself. I was like, oh, something must be wrong. I snuck a look at my phone to see the transcript. It was a normal first sentence of voice mail.
And then I don't know why I'm leaving a voice mail. No need. A miscall is a voice mail. Right.
I will say Johnny says, what's up all you freedom fighters and midnight writers? It's your boy Johnny Bananas. I'm here to try to answer this really dumb riddle. And he gives a lot of answers.
I just want to say something, Johnny. I know that this was a stupid riddle. You must understand that you cannot. You must answer the troll at the bridge when he says you must answer my riddles three.
You can't just name every word in the dictionary and be like, it must have been in there. You know what I mean? So he said things that can't fit in a saucepan. Things that are sort of non corporeal like existential dread.
This is so much more talking about this fucking riddle than I would love to ever do again. But there's a lot of a lot of stuff here. And then I don't think I got this one right. But I'm going to blame Wilder on this one because a great carpenter does blame his tools.
Johnny Bananas out is how he concludes that. So why don't you give us deliver us, boy? The answer to the riddle. There was only one answer.
This is how riddles work. Only one thing cannot be put in a saucepan if you and I, we can all be put into a saucepan. But do you know what you cannot put into a saucepan? The lid.
Oh boy. Like just to get ahead of it, guys, you could break the saucepan lid and put it in the saucepan pretty easily. You have to find you have to find you have to find better ones. Wilder.
If this is already we're not even a week. We're barely like three episodes into this. You want me to start coming up with compelling riddles forever? First make my own.
The first couple ones were better than this was. Not good. So go ahead and do a little work. Find a feasible riddle.
Okay. Oh my God, do something coming up next. Tell them what we're talking about. Talk about being drunk.
Something I would say very rarely are we experts. I think we're pretty. We got a lot of time in that kitchen as it were. Yeah.
No improvement though. Sort of like how I used to go bowling every week for years. I did not improve that bowling. I stayed about the same forever.
Much like this. What do you slurp on over there? I'm having a rye. A little rye whisk.
What about you? I'm not a little pin hook eight year. I am also having pin hook. Goddamn it.
Damn, these fucking dipshits dude. Ever. I am drinking it out of, if I may brag, a KFC branded. Yeah.
That's obviously tight as hell. What we got over here is it's no slouch. I will say this is the trees of mystery Paul Bunny mug. Very good.
Where did you acquire that? Where did I acquire it? I went to the trees of mystery. I took it right from it.
Damn, Paul. Geographically. Trees of mystery is like a couple hours north of here. It's like towards like Humble.
Yeah. That's why I didn't say it. But there is a big statue of fucking Paul E. B.
and his big dang Bing Blue Ox up there, which is tight. Cool. Okay. I have some categories.
Yeah. How you drunk? Then next up, where you drunk? And then next up, why you drunk?
That one, we'll see. And then consumables, I think, is a category. This is what came to mind. Sure.
Where do you, can I give you a three for where? Yeah. Wedding house. Oh, no.
Not your house. The wedding. I'm not like Waboo house, but yeah. It's the, yeah.
For sure. Obviously we've talked about it. We don't need to say much more on it. Wedding is an elite place.
It's like, and also, wait, I don't know if we need a disclaimer. If you don't drink cause you're underage or you're whatever, it's fine. We're just talking about having a good time as well, but specifically in this. You don't drink cause you're underage.
Get cooler. Yeah. It's, well, I can't, a lot of my students listen. So don't do that.
I didn't drink until college. So look yeah, don't you want to be like waboo? I think both of these nerds did not do that Fucking virgins do now we graduated to Mid-level drinking the same alcohol on accident out of novelty cups. So like I said experts rubs Okay, I think my house Your own home you think that's a three lit yeah Bed yeah Bed is actually very not quite like I think I don't know if I'm that must have but I can't recall Yeah, that's tough.
That's like a possible that I haven't yeah, I mean you used to record the episodes of the podcast embed so That was tight. Oh, I must have been drinking in bed in that situation Can't get shit so over that's for sure. I guess another category would be What you doing is that too much is there too much similarity? No, they come out vibe.
What is what do you want to put in that? Just like sort of what you doing what you doing what you doing. Yeah, okay parentheses vibe So what do you guys are jumbo? Yeah, yeah, I must you must I think a bonus point maybe is the jumbo vibes you have a vibes You gotta I think house party is also very quite lit place to consume alcohol Especially I like okay.
This is what I like about a house party. Have we done house parties an episode? No, but it's on the list. Okay, you know what else is on the list this topic two times.
Yeah, I'm like boneheads like four Things apart. They're not even it's not even like oh, it's on the beginning of the end It's the amount of times I've scrolled through our little shared note of topics and not registered that being drunk was on there twice These fucking little idiot boys. Yeah, it's too big Well house party is great because if you bring a six pack of anything it could be honestly like you who's it doesn't even Apparently need to be alcohol you then have full free reign to drink whatever you find at that house party Would you agree? Yeah, shout out to For the art Adam Faye whose city move is to roll into a house party with like a form to six pack of some sort of craft beer for just Him that is weak as fuck What's he gonna do when I snook when it don't Are we fighting now?
Probably damn that's funny I roll up with usually like to contain and then I'm like well whatever you got right is me now Yeah, I suppose you're like with the homies you can roll into content if you're trying to make a good first impression Oh, you're gonna dirty 30 full of fucking, you know, yeah, I'm not bringing a 30 of anything like those days are done I don't know if it's a game house party. I mean if it's games. I guess yeah, I guess I mean big big big obviously now that we're in our 30s big house party vibe is you bring one bottle of wine Right, that's the equivalent you bring one bottle of wine and then you can drink 10 if you're there it doesn't matter Yeah, that's dinner party to me though. I'm not showing up to a house party with like a fucking bottle of her low I don't know it depends man.
We're 30s now if you're going to a house party and you like know there's gonna be kids there I mean, I'm not obviously not talking about how's party like we're playing We're thinking about different house party clearly what what you do in games. I think is it too? Yeah, it is because like drinking games are fun. Yeah, that's what I mostly what I mean.
Yeah playing like a fucking nightmare Yes, and playing like a board game can be fun for about one second and then it's done so Anything hit like that first board game and then anything ever not hit like trying to play it a second time after you played it once Oh my god, or even worse when you get that we'd never do this anymore You get the boneheaded idea to fucking try fire up a different game after we just learned the rules to this game No, thank you. We've been jamming operation in this house lately. You fuck with operation too scary, bro You get this fucking I jump out of my fucking skin. Yeah Game you play in drunk you doing that well.
Yeah, dude. It scares the goddamn But you just have an operation is a demerit, bro. I cannot be having I swear to god I'm like in the fucking lab first of all glasses off and I'm in the fucking lab and then the And I like fucking like I see I'm gonna dislocate my shoulder You fucking maroon holy shit operations sucks dude I got a what you doing that we did and that's a horrible one what you doing while drunk go to a trampoline park Why did we do it? Yeah bad one?
Why do we do it repeatedly? I can't believe we didn't freaking y'all fall over the place What else you should not do is operate a motorcycle? Okay? Barely bro barely I like don't even clarify what you mean when you say We is just as much true as saying motorcycle.
Yeah, neither of those things is particularly true Dude the birthday boys had a wild one for what was that 32? Yeah, just try and desperately to get a dewy fucking Going to the same mini golf bar. Oh mini golf. Come on.
Oh, yes, bro. Oh, karaoke is a very quite little as well Yeah, yeah, yeah, okay consumables dude fast food is a three right it's gotta be it's just nothing hit like it Yeah, but like Adrilea in this in this game. I just but I think right but I think it's not it's I don't really do it as much anymore because it doesn't really Is it doesn't it or is it a fucking nightmare? It hits dude?
It's just like you don't do it as much anymore and neither do I but like you're telling me you're having like somebody rolls up to the party with Like a bunch of Yeah, I know that is you know, we stole this move from that guy in college that we hated that You don't even shout him out bro. You're not even need to shout out this motherfuckers me to shout out Yeah, he sucked but now I've co-opted that move and I'm going to I started doing it on postmates just 60 tacos whatever 30 bucks get over here Incredible of me. Yeah, the monument of me. Yeah, and I think I think um Do we think pizza counts for this?
I guess like fast food pizza is junk. I think junk food. Yeah You know what fucking drives me wild is a popsicle that I don't get on as well I don't have a sweet while I'm drunk to be honest. I love a popsicle dude.
Damn Remember whose wedding was Matt Lake's wedding afterwards. I hooked it to 7-11 and got some pizza now That's what I'm talking about baby. Seven little pizza is good as fuck You ain't lying brother shit is good pizza kind of maybe even a bonus point I don't know if there is actually anything better. Yeah, and I'm even like a pizza lover in Regular world but like something about a good fucking cheesy slice of pizza when you're drunk is and there's no Can you like the it's honestly a source of power when pizza arrives and especially you don't know it coming Brother if you're at a party or you're at the bowling alley or you're at a wedding and somebody's like hey We got ten saws on the table My skin I can think of like so many examples of that happening.
Yes my life. I'm just like for everyone I was in San Francisco. We did a little reunion tour We were hanging out yancy saloon the live in the old days and someone secretly ordered like four fucking senioris Shout-up, dude bonus points in your eyes. There's a pizza shot.
It's just go. Y'all. We've absolutely talked about it Anyways, I can't I've never that may be like my king of the mountain drunk food is in your is yeah little chicken test fucking God Very powerful so yeah junk food like comfort food all of that shit I used to be crazy with a burrito when I was drunk see those days are behind me. I can't do big barit anymore I can't necessarily do like a big sloppy burger, you know Nations I would you get drunk on that mail alone, baby.
Yeah, dude I think it's a big nasty pie dang it Why you drunk dude breakfast hold on I'm not with the breakfast fucking slams my ass off I I used to love to go to a diner get a little bacon and eggs little fourth meal little fucking give me a word Oh, okay, okay, I thought you were like being drunk at breakfast and I was like no dude I think that sucks actually no no no too early, but I mean brunch though is a very quietly vibe for I Know but doesn't it again? We're 35 Don't doesn't it kind of suck to get drunk at brunch and then have a whole Sunday in front of you Yeah, well, let me tell you a nightmare is that we have this spot here. It's called the med shout out great diner They we have they don't have bottles mamosas, but they might as well Because there's six bucks and we never ever made it past two and it's a sprint to finish that second one recently caught that They are using a half a bottle champagne per mamosa What yeah, it's bananas so the med shout out really sends you on a course Yeah, and you can't you can't escape it once you're in the cyclone of the brunch drunk, right? But it sucks after it's so much fun during I know that's why it's a two to me it has to be into God Every rose has its thorn.
Yeah, that's exactly right. We have I'm the place that is near us. There's an indoor mini Galp place. It's the course itself is fine, but They do on Sundays.
It's like thirty five dollars for all you can play and bottomless mama Yeah, yeah, yeah, and the most are not very strong, but it's like I don't I don't know I'll tell you the clutch about this place. They are um, it's counter service So there's no waiting around for somebody to refill your mamosa You're you're as soon as you're ready you go and get it baby You walk up to the bar and they fill you up. It's a little bit of a stressful brunch vibe. You got me hustling the whole time No, no, no, what are you hustling for?
It's four hours, bro. There's not it's like yeah, it's eleven three. I think all right Bad dude drunk. Why you drunk sad?
Sad obviously no good Any negative emotion I guess bad also bad We'll move past that but it's not good consumables dude We have talked about Drew Gus in a while It's gotta be a two as usual. I assume we didn't talk about bar. Yeah, where yeah, what do we got for bar? It's a I mean I Guess all things considered.
It's a very pretty good. Yeah, but I love it. I love a bar Yeah, it's tough cuz bar I think it's its own episode because like there's a big difference between like a packed sports bar and like a Quiet dark cocktail bar and a wine bar whatever I yeah, that's a tough one. I think a bar is a two even on its best to be honest It's probably a two I think we should also talk about Because it was in terms of what alcohols well, that's how you drunk.
I believe how you drunk Yeah, so to me mimosas a two because it's always associated with brunch. I don't love sugar jam Yeah, sugary ass orange juice tiki got to be that also because I love it, but it's poison to my body Yeah, I've come full circle on something I used to be a beer man And I think part of that was like living in San Francisco and being a college-age student just slamming jam and beers now became a cocktailman Where it was like why would I ever give beer cocktails do the job faster I'm coming back around on beer a little bit me too. Yeah, I I never had a cocktail phase because I'm not really a cocktail fan TB each I don't know what all the words mean. I don't know you got a knife You get nice cocktails or guy can't read I don't know I was a I got I got I maybe I got for learn them and we're J on the bar I know I I love it for learn them broke too much too much I like I like some stuff, but not for me however the other day I was just doing a little I'm a gin and tonic drink gin and tonics 99% of the time I just like a little gin and tonic out me sound as patio and I slammed a bunch of Pacificos and I felt fucking amazing powerful Okay, I'm coming back around to light beer Lovely to have a light refreshing IPAs and fucking hobby shit hours do cool.
Yeah, I do like sours I do I do still fuck with yeah, but you're not getting drunk off them to me a sour It's like I order one it comes in like a fucking snifter glass half the time It's like six inches or something we call them Appalachian wild nails around these parts And what also I moved to a town that is famous for craft Yeah, like all the most breweries per capita whatever the fuck a capita sure yeah, and I stopped drinking beer pretty much Like the year or two before covid cuz I maybe feel too full. I don't like it with food still yeah Yeah, yeah with food. It's not great like beer and pizza is bad to me. We talked about this Pacifico is like so far in the lead for shit.
I love right now I feel like such a dad when I'm out of place because I'll be like what kind of like what do you got? Pilsner we got like a Mexican logger. What do you got back there? Which what do you got a can please?
Oh, I can't of demerit to me is too cool beers I don't need my beers to be cool. Please just get this put it in my glass dude and make me drunk I want it. I want if I had a brewery would be called light one medium one bad one No, no IPA Any next beer they got give me a Victoria give me a mo delo give me a give it to me dude shit Yeah, these dudes love a light beer dude. So a light beer.
Can we say a light beer is a three dude? Because it's also a nut. It's like I'm gonna drink a couple of those dudes I'm gonna get a little fuzzy fuzzy and then I'm gonna be good to go Maybe I'll finish it off with a little coop tail or something. Come on talk to you I'm not mixing anymore, dude.
I can't mix any more that I'm in previous to any sort of consequences from that What okay about whiskey, which is what we're drinking. I think very quite lit for me. It's mellow Bourbon and wabu are sympathetic. Oh, can I say for very quite lit whatever your straight up spirit of choices because some people it's like they like a little You know like you know, we're going to whiskey route I feel like some people will have like I don't know I also do a little mess galsipper I like to sit on this guy the key where something yeah, okay, you're sipper dude.
Oh, I love to have my sipper It's true. It's very good all the college stuff are very not quite lit jungle juice fucking your nurse Yeah, all the fucking whatever the fuck for loco. I never even have one No, I mean either by the time I got hit to him They had already like pulled the teeth out of him You know if they turned him off the like you know what would be what you do is you get a for local as they sell them now The fucking you know cowards version or whatever they got there you mix it with that penero lemonade I bet you got a stew going baby guarantee. This is it probably already a huge issue Heart would explode do you I got a try that narrow lemonade?
Oh time machine salad time machine narrow fix the cob salad dude Tell them you got a new cob ranch, right? No crumbles blue cheeses out clombeuels their toast. It's got feta instead bigger chunkers, okay? What you're saying Clombeuels and bigger chunkers.
It's like so gross dude Like Clombeels and bigger chunkers by waboo semicolon no clombu fuels here by waboo. Yeah fuck. Yeah. Oh, no That sucks damn that's cool.
I'm just gonna put college stuff That sucks and then like oh my god like shotgunning. I don't think I could handle that shit I mean I could never chug I was never a chug bug your bum doesn't for you just she's a downer Well for me my gala says return a center It don't stay put baby. I never like shotgun gonna be right hated that not fun not fun. No, it's not not fun I mean it's a classic peer pressure like it's fun for everyone else.
You're it's a sacrifice They're putting you on the cross and they're saying do this boy Do this little monkey man and you do it and they all laugh and cheer and you go Your face is all fucking red not for me. Why you drunk dude a celebration is obviously a three. Yeah, sure What about secret dude? Very pretty good is to be secret drunk.
I Can okay tell me why very pretty good. I don't have like a good example But it's like what if you're doing something you don't really want to be doing and your responsibility free like your son like shitty Fucking illegal 21 year old and you're working at some stupid fucking job at gap and you're like fuck this I'm gonna get a little booze today. I'm just kind of slide through my gap duties. Mr.
Manage is not gonna know Ron does not gonna know Jeremy ain't gonna know the customers might know but that's not my fucking problem I'll even tell him so michael so guess what I'm drugs fucker My question is why is that not a three? Well cuz it's like a little weird. Yeah, I mean the scenario you just described You know what's a fucking negative a million for me is going on movie Danny Brad just had this quote Kind of get shared a bunch that was like basically knocking like Alamo We're like who the fuck wants to sit down and drink a bunch of beers while they watch a movie here Go pee and then fall asleep. It's yeah, crazy.
It's fucking stupid. I don't want to smell anyone's cobs out I agree with the calm you all I think that if you want to drink during a movie You could do it like a sane person the only way to do it is the boozy milkshake to me because it's like a milkshake in the movie fine You put some like sound like a normal thing Well, no, but I just think like people get ice cream movie people get sweets at movies like I don't know It's not a hot dog in the cup dude in the cup a little rum Can we get a show you any of those German suits speaking of that which are just have one big freaking weeners sticking out of them? Over there in Germany, you know what they're up to do you know It's a don't ask no tell vibe over there. I if my lips so much as a touch a sip of red wine There's no possible world I'll ever say like a movie no chance.
Yeah, I mean wine is crazy You might as well take ambient like I what are you oh after? After a thing like maybe not drunk but like after the game after work. Yeah a little buzz This is a little buzz. Yeah, you still I do I will say because of the title of the episode It is not just wondering you do have to get a little buzzy buzz But yeah, that's a three to me like after the thing and after thing after the thing is over all the test the thing that interview Then whatever dude, I guess that celebration in a way not necessarily though I mean like I come home and have a crack of beer ski on like a Thursday because it was a rough day.
It's like no That's great. So wine drunk dude. It's a two to me. I'd get it, but I don't yeah, it's tough That's why I'm a graph like well for a minute one drunk McGrath had his vertigo triggered by red wine And so he did his eyes would move uncontrollably like this and then he would start to have a my albanic attack Hey, go upstairs and do this little exercise the doc taught him to realign crystals in his head pretty good vibe I would say extreme demerit vertigo attack You ever had like half a glass of wine and then it felt like you were on the the deck of a ship but also inside of a Washing machine that had been turned on That sounds very pleasurable.
Yeah, it was cool. And I was just upstairs and I'd be like So that's what wine So you off the sauce you off the wine no back Straighten out my crystals bro these crystals in my ears. I just fucking oh Yeah, you just do enough up and down and left and right you like whoop Yeah, you punch my microphone. I you just do a bunch of goofy stuff.
Yeah, yeah, you do a spell Spell so I'm back on the sauce So what it does to me is obviously puts me asleep directly the time that I was Why does now juice it's not just the time that I was sleeping all streaming that was a bottle of wine down the gullet And then I fell asleep while streaming on twitch for two straight hours And then I was so mad I didn't see that I came to the video exists, but there's not much I watch the video about a hundred thousand times, but Yeah, I mean it was oh bro airport brother That's a good secret drunk I love a heavy beer at the fucking airport bar because Wabu doesn't fit on a plane And I need something to knock my ass out and a nice IPA or two and if I'm lucky three at the airport bar is gonna do it I Think airport is a two because that you're spending a trillion dollars and it's better than airplane Oh my god airplane is a one to me. I don't want to be drunk on the airplane Yeah, we talked about this on our plane ride episode unless it was daddy's buying like Matt Lake was yeah Which case you can never turn it down. Hey folks if you're out there and you were wondering can you turn it down when daddy's buying? You cannot you have some you have some daddy's not really buying The stewardess is teasing him.
Do you not say stewardess anymore? Is that like a 1940? Yeah? I don't think we do that the flight attending either attending either not God, I'm good.
Yeah, what you do and dude barfing It's a bad hit it. It's a bad hit it Or is it a two because it does heal you in a way well you talk about tactical gender. Yeah, you're favorite little design move I mean, I look I haven't I haven't taken a TC in about a decade, but it works dude I mean, I think it means if you feel better afterwards like for sure immediately better I think I'm one time in college So we were at Mel's diner and we were sitting with someone and then she went and all the bar came out of the table I ate it It was so bad Mel's diner, which is the brightest restaurant Sure is like a fucking operating room in there. Yeah, she painted it red God that sucks How you drunk?
I don't I Rich Jeff shout out, but whatever the opposite of a shout out is cursed to him His big move is we'll get to a place like a brewery and his first order is like a big fucking stout He loves a like a pitch black beer. No, I don't do that He often will be like oh, I'll take a get his place and I'm like, bro It's fine and we haven't had dinner yet, but he does it to be honest Even know what that what that vibe is like. I don't know if I've ever just gotten drunk off the dark beers I mean, I guess when I was in Ireland 12 years ago, but I don't I don't fucking know yeah But you you've been around rich Jeff, you know, he had different animal brother and that's the fuel he needs to turn into that We went to fucking We're gonna go on a go on a go on a go on a go. Oh, yeah, well that was wine if you were called We were in that one tasting Drunk at dinner very not quite lit.
I think no I like it very pretty good. I think it's obviously it's not great like you don't want to make a spectacle But it's fun to get I'd love to share a bunch of play skid of some wine Yeah, all right fair enough Why you drunk? I think the result of a drinking game is actually very quite late I'm not even a big drinking guy But I'm gonna sit there and play your pong and then I start to get drunk I'm like well good at least something's happening You know what I mean? I got a sickness in me for one drinking game that no one really can follow me on this one But like I do like power hour that's it sucks because it's not even really a game It's stressful and horrible, but it does the trick I mean I do appreciate a challenge and that is like a challenge of it's not so much a game competition Yeah, it's not so much of a game is it is like a competition against your own wills?
Well, you know what's great about that now is they have games on YouTube They have like guess the movie clip and they can kind of lead you through it So you don't have to make a play fucking shut up to schmigma used to make a one minute playlist of one minute of a song Is this your favorite? What is that your favorite drinking game you think no? I mean I guess like flip cup. I mean simple.
It doesn't have to last very long You can get as many people playing as you want. Yeah, I don't know I mean, but if there's something I'm not thinking of this more chill, and that's what it is Yeah, I mean I like we did I do like a It's tough because it does have the if you don't have a good one. It's it's my favorite cup game. I should put it that way Yeah, oh, you know Drunk West is very quite late obviously talk about effective, bro.
Yeah, that one is like you if y'all don't know drunk West It's a card game It's like you it's the concept is very simple your adventures and you're killing these monsters in order to win and the way you kill them Is through drinks and everyone else can basically spend a turn fucking you over and the way they don't come in to get like a hundred drinks Yeah, in which case you're just like hundred drinks. Yeah in which case It's like finish your beer open a beer finish that beer open another beer open another beer half of that beer and now we're back I'm not gonna make it to the end of a game of request. It doesn't it doesn't always happen, but it is satisfied It's also a game It's also a game that just in the game element of it drinking aside that you can be very shitty You can like steal people's levels and Like reverse things that people are doing so it's also as a little bit of maybe it's actually bad I can't believe that more fights don't break out during that game right because it is extremely upsetting if you're sitting there Shitface drunk you've been playing for two hours, and then someone's like um I'll take that level I win I could fucking smash a bottle and kill someone in that moment Shut up to Liz friend of the show who laminated her drunk quest cards like a genius Laminated my drunk quest cards because also friend of the show Danny spilled beer on them And so then she was like we won't let that happen again So maybe drunk quest is a medium on that one I Well okay, but didn't we have some health food in Austin that kind of gave us a little bit of a boost when you're when we sat In that Vietnamese food, yeah, but that was like noodles I don't know about a salad, but it's about as healthy as a fucking cob from Panera But like think about that you're drunk and you have got you if you will and your one choice is your fucking narrow salad I'm not vibing on that. That's fair salad is bad I mean like this kind of goes with junk food, but I when I said junk food I was more thinking entrees I do love obviously like a chips and salsa a little like appetizers.
Oh, baby French salty salty Hot hot country salty fried. Yeah, frankly chicken tenders I mean this is jumbo and yummy food, yeah Yeah, do you know what if I get a specific one and I don't dabble anymore because I think I I would there is like a 15% chance I would have a heart attack and die The fucking hot dogs dude from the cart like it's like kind of a California thing But especially like in San Francisco they were all over oh baby They're wrapping up and bacon they're putting the fucking onions and peppers on there. My local my local We're cheering whole does hot dogs so close. Gosh Lease basic basic fix-ins relish onions muster.
It's so money. They have a hot dog of the month Tell me give me an example of hot dog of the month Please tell me tell me what I'll talk about they do a little they had one that was like a little Indian flabe They had a little Nana catch up a little banana chips a little crunchy. It was so good. I've come back around on hot dogs Do I always love them but I feel like same dude.
What are we up to must be something about the moon baby born on the same day? Yeah, it's a query season hot dogs What do you rise a moon job who summer let's go I recently saw it got me go and baby I recently saw the 999 challenge you know about this go to a baseball game nine innings nine beers nine hot dogs I don't even think it's possible just because of having to be in line Well, you have to never you have to drink the beer and eat the hot dog in the line the one that I saw they ordered nine hot dogs It was There's no fucking They're often big it's a big year this entire project cost two hundred fifty dollars It's my birthday after all No, thank you. I feel like a six six six. That's more my speed.
Oh Yeah, man 999 probably Very not quite late. Yeah, that sucks man. You go home. You die if you make it home.
You're dead. What do we put deals? Ooh like a happy hour. Yeah, dude sources of power major.
Holy shit. I think happy hours of three dude Even if it's like the it's like 50 cents off a Miller light from from five to five thirty and I'm like bring me ten Let's go shut up broken record the bar where the graph that I used to live in 50 cent PDRs on Friday nights Mm-hmm also, which is still 50 cents more than you should probably pay for a BBR, but on draft though a little bit of a Sneak attack move who knew they even had kegs of PBR shout out to crane bar. Please don't it's just open. Yep Crane bar You better not a close.
Okay, crane bar It's down under the ground in a bank vault they got on the bar what they called the cage Just a bunch of random fucking shit in the cage and they're always like anything from the cages five bucks What is it? What is it rent peach absolute or like a just like random things of the week that they shove in there and give away for five Dollars a shot, but oh shots shots. It's like spirits. Yeah, but okay, you're nasty It's like a fucking kinder egg There's one bullet Just a loose shell damn that's right So I can't believe we mentioned deals and you didn't bring up fucking the dollar marks at underdogs You want to talk?
I mean that Not exactly the same as the 9 9 challenge, but not that far off They did dollar margaritas at our college bar for a half an hour. Yeah Started from like think five thirty to six or something like that We got there at four to lock down our spot because you have to be at the bar you need to be In front of the server because it's a sister system. Yeah, they serve it. No, it's a bucket system They serve it out of a big bucket with a ladle like you're on a fucking pirate ship Just a bunch of animals eat from the trough dude We used to see how many we could do and I like this sounds made up and obviously they were very watered down Okay, and we were 20s so we had superpowers.
We used to do like 10 of them. Yeah, not me I want to be here. I mark a read as in half an hour. I think I did like six one time and I was like I'm cool But I think Danny and I like the letter straws we go Yeah, please Insanity what it and that yeah, jesus christ Um that place this is a it doesn't I mean we talked about burritos I do think like mexican food in general is a pretty good consumable like maybe not a burrito but like give me some Toes or oils in it like yeah After a bar The tranel dude what I think this is why you drunk a beer fest or like a festival I think is a one dude.
We were nasty in those days you go down like the fucking Hindenburg after that shit I don't know so fucking well, it's it's only given very not quite lit But it's so has such clear utility as the fucking pretzel necklace It's so annoying but like damn if it doesn't it's not it's still a bunch of fucking pretzels right back neck I just think like why does it have to be a necklace like just give me a bag of pretzel bracelet. I agree Oh, you want a full set a couple of earrings Necktie dude. Oh, that's the best one that you go. What about a tiara brother you'd be looking for your tail I wish it was soft pretzels making a turban out of soft pretzel I'm gonna make a fucking bulletproof vest out of soft pretzel Just squirt mustard on myself.
Yeah, dude What's you? Soft pretzel so gross The idea of eating more than one soft pretzel while drinking is very stressful and it's not in a pretzel shape It's in a vest shape or a hat shape, you know, dude. Matt and cheese also fucks Yeah, so food. Yeah, it's all food.
You don't have to get in all the good food. Just anything that's good It's probably yeah when you're drunk. Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah, um, what about october fest? I think it's a two I like october fest. I didn't like really done Like an actual like go to oh, that's not true. We went to a little German town a couple years ago.
Hell in Georgia. Yeah, dude. October fest is a good time I think that's fun. I think like yeah, it's I mean we give it like that that consumables too I like the sausages.
I like the crowds. I like the moustards and the press I mean the Germans unsurprisingly got them drinking foods figured out They got the pretzels. They got the brats. They got a German beer though.
We have a I don't mind a German beer We have a German place in Alameda that is You ever find a place I feel like this is what I'm about to describe is like the fucking holy grail It is a place that We can take anyone to and they love it and I mean like our cool friends from Brooklyn. I mean Chelsea's mom I mean my little brother my dad every us like every single person we've taken there my uncle who's a hugely picky eater Every time he comes to town. She was going to German place just a one dude Give me that and I love it. They're giving me beer and like what just a whatever giant vessel The only thing that matches that description for me is also a German place.
Yep. There you go. L. A.
Shout out red lion, dude Speak some in Alameda. Check it out, baby. It sucks when you suck Like I don't want to be bad waboo when I'm on the sauce. Oh, oh, I guess what I'm a pretty good waboo I've always been a pretty good waboo, but you never know behavior is it toughy.
Yeah, that's a demerit is an oddy behavior It's why I really freak with tequila because it sometimes tequila gives me naughty behavior You know what's crazy is like It sucks for sure if you if you know like you drinking it But then you can control that the worst is if you have a friend And you know like when they drink they become an asshole or when they drink they become like this other person and it's like damn dude The worst I wish I wish I wish I was you so I could stop drinking That's what I wish like Uh because if I was you I would stop drinking because I don't want to be a dickhead. Uh, so yeah that that's super sus Damn I just had one cooking. Oh, dude What are you where what are you doing? Little business lunch.
I mean we talked about this before obviously Like wrong cut a little buzzy buzz. A little buzzy buzz just like two beers with your with your lunchy I'll give it to you. Yeah, you're right. If you can't fucking black out at your business lunches bad news.
There's no I don't think you're making a deal No, absolutely not Um Anywhere where you have I mean we talked about movie anywhere where you have to sit and be quiet dude Like you're one of the theater. I don't want to be drunk for like fucking death of a salesman or whatever Like I don't that sounds like a bad time. Oh, can I give you a demerit? I don't know tipsy bartender.
You ever fuck with that guy Don't know what that is. Oh man tipsy bartender is this guy that makes drinks in his kitchen and he posts them and like I think that a lot of them are uh, him Um Him like like doing shit that like people sent him like hey if you tried this and like it used to be like well That's kind of crazy. He would make like jungle juice and stuff My man is a fucking animal What that boy up to? He's this guy he just makes like one of the ones I recently saw he takes up like a german chocolate cake from a grocery store Cut it in half and puts it in a blender with a bunch of Hennessy This is the one we're watching right now.
Uh, he's got like a bunch of strawberry ice cream and Hennessy He's big on like make a big uh make a big drink in your strawberry ice cream Um, it's just like all drinks too sweet Yeah, dude, it's a nightmare. I love this guy. He's an it. There's no way he's this is a crime what he's doing That sometimes a lot of times he does like you know like when people are like if you ever tried you take 10,000 green jolly ranchers And you put him in a bottle of a home depot tub.
Yeah, no. Thank you. Oh wait. Let me hate you with one more I didn't even watch past the first like second because what he's serving this beverage in I want you to know that the title of this one I just said while there is st.
Patrick's day party bucket and he Oh my god, it's like a full off to like a fucking bullet It's too what full handles of white rum into like a home depot bucket a bunch of fruit and then fucking ever clear Oh, yeah, ever clear and then we got malibu then he goes for two more bottles of captain And then two bottles of something that I can't seem to see and like up to two bottles of queer blue Two bottles absolute. Oh, Hawaiian punch. He's in the Hawaiian punch. They were going tampico Don't know what that is.
This is the nastiest agafress guy I've ever seen and then he puts oh, he's not done Well, it's gotta be this is not this is not drink. Oh, then it does medori. So it's green as some blue Yeah, that might just be himself blue care This is not bartending. I love that he has like the cocktail spoon that he's with what it should be a fucking shovel Yeah, I mean, there's no way this guy drinks this shit.
He's very unhinged. I like him a lot He never even takes a sip. My man doesn't even pretend to drink it. He's just like I just wasted all this alcohol Thanks everyone and turns it off in crap That guy's a demerit to me.
Yeah, I put him as a demerit It's it's saying if you were to drink even like a fourth of a cup of any of the things that he is fixing up You'd be a dead man. So that is a demerit. Oh, man. I gotta Shout out to super trash bros, which is my actual favorite drinking game obviously if you're drinking You're having a good time.
Hopefully. I'm trying to make this not sound like a commercial I do love it over an hour to remember that one can I offer a really a like a tube actually please dude Uh what you doing like a long like a walk home while drunk? I do I kind of sometimes it is exactly what the daughter ordered Love it. Um, I love a stroll dude.
And then maybe a one dude in the back of an uber. Oh boy. Nothing worse to me I got that window down. I'm sucking through the nose out the mouth dude tried so hard Trying both to not fall asleep and also to not your no greater test of will than the wait until I get out of this uber to yarf test Did I tell you when I fell asleep in one in New York?
Which I often did but then he couldn't wake me up Uh, and they're not they're not allowed to touch you obviously because then you do you'd be bad You could do bad things. Is he allowed to throw something at you? No, he fucking yelled dude. He was there I mean, I assume he started like hey, hey, bud.
Hey, we're here And then he fucking got to the door was like hey, buddy Look at screaming. Oh, he's like we're here It's unbelievable being McGrath. It's unbelievable. I haven't been killed.
Yeah, uh, I'll put um on public transportation also as a two kind of you don't like it. Oh dude. I'm sorry. I'm gonna sleep there's something important All right, all right.
Let's get me all jiggled up. I don't want to get all jiggled up dude. All right We gotta shut the hell up about being drunk. I've been woefully remiss because I forgot about Spotify and how our dedicated fan Oh damn boy, dude I haven't updated the question in months Every day it's just been saying should we have the show with a riddle affirmation or prayer despite the fact that we're far past that But Eli says riddles about prayers to test how well viewers know their christianity And discount says surprise wabu didn't say apple dipped in ranch was his favorite salad Got your ass so good.
I tell you what I love. I do love apple and ranch call back. Oh, of course Kavi a jolly On the farm episode said jesse michael mcgrath was wrong with you. Of course I need to be reminded What's the riddle from the last episode was before I hear the riddle wait what It's wrong with you.
Of course. I need to be reminded what the riddle from last episode was before I hear the answer This sounds like a very specific response to something you said months ago I think that's because I said don't remind us of what the riddle was sure Oh my god Thank you to adam fae for the art and no thank you to adam fae for bringing four craft beers to a party and keeping them in his pocket or whatever We're shitties up to Thank you to bad Todd the very bad is Todd. I go check out tomes Shit whips shit rocks once again are places are not loading so i'm just gonna make them up once again Thank you to the Dominican Republic. Thank you to Of course where we're huge Vietnam.
Thank you to Yeah, I'm sick. Exactly what I think it was. Oh, I was thinking all the great lakes in the lake, dude That's where we're popular. They got all the boat people out there just boating around listening to guys You know what else is you measure my life in hours And I serve you by expiring I'm quick when I'm thin and slow and I'm fat the wind is my enemy