Embracing Rejection: Building Resilience and Visibility with Alice Draper

In this episode, I delve into the often-dreaded topic of rejection, particularly as it affects women entrepreneurs. I interviewed Alice Draper, founder and chief strategist at Hustle Writers, who shared valuable insights into why rejection feels so daunting and how women are often socially conditioned to avoid it. We discussed strategies for building resilience to rejection and provided practical tips for crafting effective pitches to increase visibility. We also shared personal stories of rejection to emphasize that it's a common experience, even for seasoned professionals. Join the conversation to learn how overcoming the fear of rejection can open doors to business success.   KEY TAKEAWAYS COVERED IN THE PODCAST   If you enjoyed this episode then please feel free to go and share it on your social media or head over to Apple podcasts or Spotify and give me a review, I would be so very grateful.   LINKS TO RESOURCES MENTIONED IN TODAY’S EPISODE Connect with Alice on https://hustlingwriters.com/template , Podcast Connect with Teresa on Website, The Club, Sign up to Teresa's email list,  Instagram, LinkedIn, Facebook or Twitter   Transcript Teresa: In today's episode of the podcast, we are talking about rejection. Now, I know it's something that you don't want in your life. And in fact, as humans, we avoid it at all costs. But today's guest Alice shares with us some insight as to why that's the case. And also, If you are a female, why it's even more the case that we try and avoid rejection at all costs, which really helped me understand why it's not our fault. Alice also takes us through the six things that you should include in a pitch when you are trying to get on someone else's podcast, which if you know me and you've been following me for a while, you know, this is a big part of the strategy that I teach is about getting you visible. So we not only deal with the very practical sense of this is what you should include, but we also look at the whole rejection piece and how you can strengthen that rejection muscle. So you don't let it stop you in your tracks. I also [00:01:00] share a rejection that I had recently, and she shared one of hers. So if you are thinking this goes away and you don't have to deal with it at certain points in your business, Then believe me, you are exactly in the right place because we are going through it with you. Hello, and welcome back to another episode of your dream business podcast. As always, I'm your host Teresa Heath Wareing. And I really want to thank you for taking the time to join me today. I appreciate you probably like many of us have very busy lives. So I really do appreciate you making the effort to not only listening to the podcast, but also to investing in yourself. This is something that I have done massively through the years in terms of making sure that I am constantly improving my education, constantly working at how can I be better and how can the business be better. In today's episode, I'm interviewing Alice Draper, who is the founder and chief strategist and is on a mission to make publicity easy and accessible for under recognized women entrepreneurs at all stages in their business. When Alice started the business, she knew that publicity in the right places would garner her the authority that she needed to position herself as a high end copywriter. And so she started [00:03:00] pitching magazines like VICE, Refinery 29, HuffPost and Business Insider. This came with an unplanned skill, the art of the pitch, which is how she ended up pivoting her business towards publicity. She has now been running Hustle Writers for over two years. And in this time, she has secured her clients with over 500 podcasts, including countless top one and top 0. 5 percent podcast. A big part of Alice's work is to normalize rejection and how rejection resilience ties into success. Alice and I talk all about rejection and what it's like, and also how we need to get over the fear of being rejected, especially when we put ourselves out there. And I know what it's like. I have had it firsthand experience as well as working with hundreds of entrepreneurs and helping them do the same. It is tough, but if you can master the skill of being rejected, brushing yourself down and starting again, then [00:04:00] believe me, this is how it is going to lead to success for you and your business. So I really hope you enjoyed today's episode. We talk some real practical stuff as well as a bit of mindset stuff. So it's got something for everyone. Okay. Welcome to the podcast. Alice, how are you doing? Alice: I'm doing great. How are you doing, Teresa? Teresa: I'm really, really good. We've already had a conversation about where you're from. The accent doesn't tie up with where you live, which isn't where you are right now. So that's like messing with everyone's head potentially. So you were saying that you're originally from South Africa. Alice: Yes, I'm living in Dubai and I'm zooming in from Norwich. So we're both in the UK right now. Teresa: So it's, it's very interesting where you're, you're all over the place. I love it. I love it. So you talk about something that is most people's idea of, well, like hell really, rejection. And you, in your information that you sent over prior to the podcast, you wrote something that I thought was really [00:05:00] interesting. Pitching is tough because rejection is almost guaranteed and us women are not ready. Why? Because society never prepared us. Can we just talk about that for a minute in terms of A, why it's tough full stop, and why, then it might be tough for women. Alice: Yeah. Yeah. So rejection is tough full stop because humans are hardwired evolutionarily to avoid rejection. Like if we're, if our ancestors were rejected, they'd be kicked out of the tribe. Like they could have no food and no shelter, no water and die. So like that lizard brain is still there and we're just, We're going to do everything in our power to avoid being rejected from our community because that screams threats and that screams like something very bad will happen. And so, We see that, but then we also see that the more marginalized you are, the more like you will do anything to avoid that rejection. And it's for very valid reasons. So if you take a man, he's had to kind of take [00:06:00] risks his whole life. And he's also seen other men take risks their whole life. So if you take like dating in the heterosexual context, like it's the men who are putting themselves out there and pursuing women, and it's the men who are normalizing and habituating to the fact that they're getting rejected. But then it's also like the men seeing other men around them take risks and be okay. Which kind of like affirms the brain, okay, I'm not going to get kicked out of the tribe, it's going to be all right. Whereas for women, often we kind of grow our whole lives not getting rejected, like you can enter adulthood and not have ever like gone and asked someone on a date and had known. So you see perfectionism coming, kind of being a lot more tied to women. And, and I mean, like there's kind of various studies that would show this. One of the ones that comes to mind is with jobs. Like there's various studies that show that women will only apply for jobs when they meet all and [00:07:00] more of the criteria and men will apply for the jobs when they don't meet the criteria at all. Yeah. And I had a client who used to work in HR and so she used to always say like the men would always negotiate the salaries and it was very, very rare for a woman to negotiate salary. And like working in HR, you just expected people to negotiate salaries. That's what you did. That's what her job was. So yeah. So I think that's the kind of gendered lens. And then. Not learning to kind of build that rejection resilience, not learning to make bold asks is the most costly thing, not just in life, but in business. Like if we can't flex that muscle and stop normalizing rejection, we're not going to kind of pursue the biggest and best things that we want for ourselves. Yeah, sorry. Teresa: I was just gonna say, so do you think that's the, that's the key? Do you think it's a case of actually this is just a muscle you've got to build? Or do you think that there are [00:08:00] things that you can do prior to getting rejected to feel better about it or to be prepared for it? Alice: That's a great question. I mean, I think that the muscle is going to get built, like it's got to get built regardless. And I think that preparation helps. Like there's a reason you're scared of...