EMERALD SMITHSTEIN, CONNOTATION MAJOR (ft. Allie Freed)

(1982 - 2008) Emerald Smithstein, politically persuadable choir singer from Dubuque, passed away last night beneath the stars and stripes of the Iowa Caucuses. An academic gem, Smithstein studied both electioneering-avoidance and connotation-linguistics at the University of Iowa, eventually blending the two to form a unique political foundation that helped guide her through the tough presidential decisions of the early 2000's. She will be remembered by her parents, Jade and Topaz (who are starting a Democratic SuperPAC in her name), as well as her volunteer colleagues in the Singing Betty Choir. To attend funeral services next week, please contact Prof. GobKnob, who is running the RSVP list to Emerald's memorial and will be making snarky remarks drawn from connotations based on your last name when you arrive. New episode next Thursday. NEW EPISODES THURSDAY! Follow us on Insta @exitinterviewpod