Ep 05 - Connection Is Survival: Parenting for the Loneliness Epidemic with James Ellis

Human beings need connection. We’re social creatures. But we are increasingly isolated, lonely, and dissatisfied.Today, we’re joined by our friend and colleague James Ellis, who’s here to help us understand the deep cultural roots and uniquely modern influences of our modern loneliness epidemic. This one goes beyond parenting as we dig into the ways our culture narrows our view of who can meet our emotional needs and has us chasing perfection in those relationships. We also get into why social skills and adaptability are just as–and maybe more–important as good grades for our kids’ futures. We also discuss how loneliness begets violence against the self and others. And of course, we can’t talk about the loneliness epidemic without talking about social media and pop psychology’s impacts on how we relate to each other.Listen to the full episode to hear:Three major factors that have reshaped the social landscape Why we avoid seeking connection, even when we know we want and need itHow our modern illusion of infinite choice turns us into perfection-seekers in relationshipsWhy we have to learn to tolerate disappointment from our loved ones, and how cultivating more close relationships helpsWhy parents need to emphasize soft skills like flexibility, adaptability, and sociability in order to future-proof their kids How forging connections really does boil down to making the effort to show up, over and over againLearn more about James Ellis, PhD:The Loneliness DoctorInstagram: @lonelinessdoctorLearn more about I Hate You. What’s For Dinner?Connect with Gillian Boudreau, PhD.:WebsiteInstagram @clearconnectionpsychologyConnect with Rob Galligan, PhD.:Instagram @dr.robert.galliganResources:Melanie KleinDonald Winnicott