ep 07 / CONNECTED #1 if you love me you would know (& other things we got wrong) - with Carmen Yoong

This is the first episode of CONNECTED, a new series I'm co-facilitating with my close friend Carmen Yoong, a couples therapist. If you caught ep 06, you've already met her.CONNECTED is a series about working through our relationships — the inner relationship with ourselves, and all our interpersonal relationships (romantic, family, friends, colleagues etc.). In this first episode, we focus more on romantic relationships. In the episodes that follow, we'll widen out to the other interpersonal relationships in our lives, and to the inner relationship underneath all of them.There's no script and no agenda in the CONNECTED series. Carmen and I talk to each other the way we would in real life, about the thing that's at the center of both our work: attachment theory. But not the Instagram or self-help books version! We talk about the nuanced, person-specific way we use attachment theory with our clients.We get into how attachment shows up everywhere, not just in romantic relationships. It shows up at work, with family, in the relationship you have with yourself. We talk about why partners with avoidant tendencies rarely book the first therapy session, what a corrective emotional experience feels like from the inside, and why passive aggression can do more damage than we think.And near the end, we share something we've been building together: a retreat that we're both so excited about we can barely keep it contained!!!IN THIS EPISODEWhat CONNECTED is as a seriesWhy attachment theory isn't just about romantic relationships, and how it shapes your relationship with yourself, your family, your friends, and your coworkersHow we actually use attachment theory with clients (hint: neither of them diagnoses or labels someone as "anxious" or "avoidant")The difference between a coping strategy "serving you" and it serving the relationshipWhat a corrective emotional experience feels like, told through Jasmine's dream about her former therapist and Carmen's story about learning to feel angryWhy holding in resentment is often more damaging to a relationship than saying it out directlyPassive aggression as a form of aggression in its own right, and why it can be more confusing — and more hurtful — than direct angerThe myth of "if you love me, you would know," and what it outsourcesLoving someone the way they want to be loved, instead of the way you want to be lovedCONNECT WITH US!Join the waitlist (https://texturedlifewellness.com/retreats) for the CONNECTED retreat, coming up 2-5 July 2027. Limited spots for an intimate setting. Jasmine:- IG: @jasmineteo.jiamin- Website: https://texturedlifewellness.comEmail: [email protected]:IG: @clarityandbondtherapyWebsite: https://clarityandbondtherapy.comEmail: [email protected]