Uncertainty is Possibility

I met Qiu Ting way back when we were students at university together. We went to Hainan Island for an overseas community project, did group projects together, and then life happened. We lost touch for a while, stayed loosely in the know thanks to Facebook (haha), and reconnected about two years ago when we started collaborating on something that's still unfolding (more on that at the end of this podcast!! something we are so excited about).Qiu Ting is an educator, and outside of that, she is the creative soul behind Onigiri and Toast, a stationery and lifestyle brand born out of grief, memory keeping, and her years living between Singapore and Japan. In this conversation we talk about how a period of quiet grief after she left her teaching post in Japan became a name, then a brand, then a whole practice of memory keeping through journaling and zines.We talk about the year of tiny experiments that got her here, most of which didn't land (a podcast among them), and the handful that did. She talks about what alignment means to her, your heart jumping with joy while you're making something, whether or not it succeeds by any other measure. We get into what it took to unlearn perfectionism and imposter syndrome enough to make things in the first place, and what she calls slow blooming, a life that keeps branching instead of climbing one straight path toward a fixed goal.IN THIS EPISODEThe grief QT didn't recognise at the time after she left JapanUnlearning imposter syndrome as a "non-arts" creative, and giving herself permission to make things anywayWhy QT journals on paper instead of digitally, and her fear of losing memoryQT’s book Field Work Journal Companion, born out of that grief, launching officially in SeptemberWhat a zine actually is, how she makes them entirely by hand, and why she won't sell a digital copyThe workshop with zero sign-ups she refused to cancel, and who showed up anywayHer philosophy on monetising creative work: not for profit, but so people treasure what they're givenBringing her hobbies into her work as a teacher, and what work-life harmony looks like for herCalling herself a "slow bloomer" instead of a late one, and her advice to anyone still figuring out what they wantCONNECT WITH QIU TINGInstagram: @onigiriandtoastCONNECT WITH JASMINEInstagram: @jasmineteo.jiaminWebsite: texturedlifewellness.comMailing List: texturedlifewellness.kit.com/email (sign up for this if you’d like to receive news once our book is out!)

This is the first episode of CONNECTED, a new series I'm co-facilitating with my close friend Carmen Yoong, a couples therapist. If you caught ep 06, you've already met her.CONNECTED is a series about working through our relationships — the inner relationship with ourselves, and all our interpersonal relationships (romantic, family, friends, colleagues etc.). In this first episode, we focus more on romantic relationships. In the episodes that follow, we'll widen out to the other interpersonal relationships in our lives, and to the inner relationship underneath all of them.There's no script and no agenda in the CONNECTED series. Carmen and I talk to each other the way we would in real life, about the thing that's at the center of both our work: attachment theory. But not the Instagram or self-help books version! We talk about the nuanced, person-specific way we use attachment theory with our clients.We get into how attachment shows up everywhere, not just in romantic relationships. It shows up at work, with family, in the relationship you have with yourself. We talk about why partners with avoidant tendencies rarely book the first therapy session, what a corrective emotional experience feels like from the inside, and why passive aggression can do more damage than we think.And near the end, we share something we've been building together: a retreat that we're both so excited about we can barely keep it contained!!!IN THIS EPISODEWhat CONNECTED is as a seriesWhy attachment theory isn't just about romantic relationships, and how it shapes your relationship with yourself, your family, your friends, and your coworkersHow we actually use attachment theory with clients (hint: neither of them diagnoses or labels someone as "anxious" or "avoidant")The difference between a coping strategy "serving you" and it serving the relationshipWhat a corrective emotional experience feels like, told through Jasmine's dream about her former therapist and Carmen's story about learning to feel angryWhy holding in resentment is often more damaging to a relationship than saying it out directlyPassive aggression as a form of aggression in its own right, and why it can be more confusing — and more hurtful — than direct angerThe myth of "if you love me, you would know," and what it outsourcesLoving someone the way they want to be loved, instead of the way you want to be lovedCONNECT WITH US!Join the waitlist (https://texturedlifewellness.com/retreats) for the CONNECTED retreat, coming up 2-5 July 2027. Limited spots for an intimate setting. Jasmine:- IG: @jasmineteo.jiamin- Website: https://texturedlifewellness.comEmail: [email protected]:IG: @clarityandbondtherapyWebsite: https://clarityandbondtherapy.comEmail: [email protected]

The vibe of this episode is the conversation you will overhear when you’re at a cafe sitting beside two therapists having coffee and matcha!I met Carmen in Melbourne, introduced by a mutual friend and we have not stopped talking since. She is a therapist who specialises in couples and relationships, and she is also one of the few people in my life I feel completely safe with from the very first conversation.Carmen moved back to Malaysia after her Masters in Counselling, and just three weeks before we recorded this, she took the leap and left her corporate job to do client work full time. We talked about the fear that lives alongside big decisions and why waiting for the fear to disappear is the reason so many of us never move.We also dived into the cost of following a life trajectory that was never really ours.And then we spent a long time on something I find super fascinating (and also oftentimes hard to navigate!): what it is like to be a therapist in friendships and in relationshipsOh, and of course, we talk about some money matters and ghosting your therapist hahaha.If you have ever been curious about what therapy is really for, or wondered whether individual/couples therapy is something that could be for you, this one is a really good place to start.IN THIS EPISODEWhat Carmen's first three weeks out of corporate life actually felt like, and what helped her nervous system slowly find its footingWhy the fear doesn't disappear before you take the step, and what it looks like to take the step anywayThe inner critic that says rest is not allowed, where it comes from, and what it looks like to slowly build a kinder relationship with itValues: what they are, how we figure them out, and why small steps towards living more aligned with them changes everythingThe occupational hazard of being a therapist with friends: what we see, what we hold back, and how we decide when to say somethingWhat couples therapy is actually for, and why Carmen wishes more people knew about itThe biggest misconception Carmen sees around couples therapy in Asian culturesOn ghosting your therapist: why it happens so often and what might be a better thing to doFIND CARMENIG: https://instagram.com/clarityandbondtherapyCarmen offers couples therapy, individual therapy, and a free 15-minute consultation. DM her directly.WORK & CONNECT WITH JASMINEPresence coaching programme. Join the waitlist: https://texturedlifewellness.com/coaching1:1 Therapy. Free 15-min consultation: https://tidycal.com/texturedlifewellness/free15IG: https://instagram.com/jasmineteo.jiaminWebsite: https://texturedlifewellness.com

I met Charlie on the very first day of our psychotherapy training and I immediately knew she was someone I wanted to be around. Over the time of our studies together, driving to class, and just being in each other's lives, I've watched her move through the world in a way with a kind of groundedness that doesn't come from having a plan.It comes from knowing herself and what she desires in life.And then TAKING STEPS to make it happen.Charlie grew up with very little certainty.Moving countries, moving houses (46 of them, by her count), not knowing when a parent would show up. And rather than becoming someone who desperately chases stability, she became someone who has genuinely made peace with not knowing, and built a life and a business from that place.IN THIS EPISODEHow Charlie's childhood (moving constantly, financial instability, parents who came and went) shaped her relationship with uncertainty, and how that looks nowHer philosophy on money: how much is actually enough, what she's figured out about saving and investing, and why she doesn't want a mortgage (or anything that ties her to one place)Her business, Your Sacred Space: women's circles, community, and why she built something intimate on purpose, and how she's about to pack it all into a van and drive it across AustraliaWhat she's learned about the people we let in: why we don't outgrow people, we outgrow the version of ourselves that tolerated their behaviourHow to have the hard conversation with a friend you've grown away from, and why kindness always gives you a better chance of something coming back aroundThe wellness industry and why "trauma-informed" doesn't mean "trained to work with trauma" — a conversation we felt strongly aboutHow to find a therapist: what to look for, why the vibe check is everything, and why ‘shopping’ for a therapist is importantWhy your friends, even the ones who love you most, cannot give you the same thing a therapist canWhat happens when you share a new idea too early, and why the knife to kill your idea should only ever be in your handsFIND CHARLIEInstagram: @_yoursacredspaceFollow along for her van build, pop-up events on the road, and women's circles wherever life takes her next.CONNECT WITH JASMINEInstagram: @jasmineteo.jiaminWebsite: texturedlifewellness.comWORK WITH JASMINEPresence. A 4-month 1:1 coaching programme. For people who live for something greater than themselves and want to build the inner life to match. Join the waitlist: https://texturedlifewellness.com/coaching1:1 Therapy. Free 15-min consultation to start.

We spend so much energy trying to decide whether something will work - in our own heads, alone, before anything has been tested.Whether to apply for a job.Whether to ask someone out. Whether to create and share something.And in doing all that thinking and not doing anything, many of us just stay stuck.In this episode I want to offer a reframe that has genuinely changed how I move through life.Life is actually a really good filter, but only if you are putting things through it.This isn’t about being reckless or thoughtless.It’s about understanding that uncertainty is not the enemy here. Uncertainty is the mechanism.Uncertainty is what allows life to give you real information; information you cannot get by staying inside your own head.IN THIS EPISODEWhat actually keeps us stuckHow I stopped seeing every step as high-stakes, and what changed from thenThe food analogy: why you sometimes don’t know what you want until life shows youOn applying for jobs, putting out work, and letting life respond instead of “pre-deciding”My Secondary school teacher’s quote that changed how I think about controlWhat it means when you genuinely can’t put things out or get started on something, and what’s actually worth looking at thereWhy being stuck is not your personality. It’s just a part of you. And there’s a huge difference in naming that differently."Uncertainty isn't the obstacle. It's actually the mechanism. It's what allows life to give you real information — information you can't get by staying inside your own head."✨ TRY THIS ✨This week, pick one thing you’ve been sitting on. Something small is fine. An application, a message, an idea you’ve been meaning to share. Put it out in the smallest way possible. Don’t pre-decide the outcome. Let life do the filtering. Notice what comes back, and notice what you feel when it does.🌸 CONNECT WITH ME 🌸Instagram: @jasmineteo.jiamin (I always reply to DMs!)Coaching: Presence, a 4-month 1:1 coaching programme. For people who want to build a life of impact and love their lives while doing the work. May and June intakes are sold out. Waitlist open for July. Apply here.•  1:1 Therapy - limited spots left for May and June. Free 15-min consultation to start.