ep 10: why you keep choosing narcissists and calling it “love”

Raff Dall is a Melbourne-based actor, DJ and content creator with a psychology brain and a storyteller’s heart. His work lives at the intersection of performance, mental health, and creative entrepreneurship, spanning acting, stand-up, podcasting, late-night DJ sets, and Pokémon-infused content that brings people together.By day, Raff studies advanced psychology at Monash, diving into research, empathy frameworks and behaviour change. By night, he creates: filming showreels, building his “Finding The Middle” podcast, producing UGC, and streaming live to a growing online audience. He’s financially meticulous and fiercely self-directed, juggling multiple income streams, training for trail events, and building a runway for his next chapter overseas.Preparing for a 2026 move to Canada, Raff is expanding his acting craft, exploring snowboarding pathways, and doubling down on experiences that make life feel like a movie. His work and worldview are grounded in curiosity, self-respect, and the belief that creativity and mental health don’t have to be separate pursuits, they make each other stronger.connect with Raffinstagram: www.instagram.com/rafferty.dall/tiktok: www.tiktok.com/@rafferty.dallwebsite: raffertydall.comemail: [email protected]~📺watch and subscribe on youtubein this episode, Raff and i go deep on people-pleasing and why so many “good” high-achievers feel like ghosts in their own lives. we unpack how self-sacrifice becomes a survival strategy, how subtle family pressure trains you to perform for love and why you end up dating the same wound in a different outfit. we get into manipulation, love-bombing, shame spirals, withdrawal and the brutal truth that you will keep abandoning yourself until you learn to give yourself what you keep begging the world for. we also talk inner child work, somatic release, boundaries and the shift from chasing love to becoming it, without turning into singing kumbaya around the campfire. enjoy 💙what we explored this episode00:00 welcome Raff!02:10 the “ghost” feeling, self-sacrifice and being a chameleon05:15 where people-pleasing starts and the missing hug08:10 subtle pressure, “where did i go wrong?” and the fish guts moment11:45 why manipulation and people-pleasing are two coping styles15:05 the car-seat shame spiral and feeling completely alone18:00 how toxic dynamics hook you, love-bombing and breadcrumbing21:10 the early red flags, contempt and “standards you walk past”24:10 can you receive unconditional love from someone?27:05 the turning point, journaling, self-talk and the “cringe” of self-love30:20 “people full of love trigger people full of shit”33:00 cognitive insight vs somatic healing, feeling the stuck shame36:30 healing has an end point39:10 how to let emotions move, surrender and safety41:50 inner child work story, the year-one memory and the hug46:10 boundaries in real life and choosing nourishing spaces50:30 what “liberated” means to Raff52:10 where to find Raff and a final nudgeconnect with me👉secure your free breakthrough calla free, focused 1:1 call to help you clarify your direction, identify the unconscious patterns holding you back and walk away with grounded next steps to move into 2026 with more confidence, calm and intention.👉free resourcespractical tools, guided practices and resources to help you create more clarity, confidence and alignment - all 100% free. no catch - just high-impact support for high performers & purpose-driven humans ready to grow. enjoy! 👉need more support?if you’re interested in coaching programs and more support.👉linkedin👉facebook👉instagram👉tiktok👉youtube👉websitelots of love,david 💙