Ep 11: AuDHD Psych Q&A Part 2 - Menopause, Gender & Why You Feel ‘Too Much’ And ‘Not Enough’

Send us Fan Mail🎙️ Episode 11: Q&A Part 2Episode SummaryIn this episode of The AuDHD Psych Podcast, Aaron Howearth continues the community Q&A, responding to several commonly asked questions about neurodivergent experiences and expanding on themes raised in previous episodes. The conversation covers topics including perimenopause and menopause in neurodivergent people, the relationship between neurodiversity and gender diversity, how diagnostic impairment levels can change across life circumstances, and the internal tensions often experienced by people with both autistic and ADHD traits. Aaron explains how hormonal fluctuations during perimenopause and menopause can influence neurotransmitter systems linked to attention, sensory processing, and executive functioning. For some neurodivergent people, these biological changes can amplify existing cognitive and sensory differences, particularly for individuals who may have previously relied on masking or compensatory strategies. The episode also revisits the intersection between gender diversity and neurodivergence, exploring how autistic cognitive styles that question inconsistent social rules may contribute to different experiences of gender identity. Aaron further discusses how sensory processing differences, attention, and interoception can intensify experiences of gender dysphoria or body-related awareness. Finally, Aaron answers several frequently asked questions about AuDHD experiences, including the tension between ADHD novelty-seeking and autistic needs for routine, the dynamics of hyperfocus versus task initiation difficulties, fluctuations in social energy, and how masking can sometimes be adaptive depending on context. Throughout the discussion, he emphasises that many challenges attributed to neurodivergence arise from mismatches between individuals and their environments rather than inherent personal deficits. Key Themes & Takeaways• Hormonal Changes & Neurodivergence - Fluctuations during perimenopause and menopause can amplify attention, sensory, and executive functioning differences.• Masking & Late Recognition - Biological or life changes can reduce compensatory capacity, revealing previously masked neurodivergent traits.• Gender & Neurodivergent Thinking - Autistic cognition often questions rigid social rules, including traditional gender binaries.• Sensory Processing & Dysphoria - Attention, sensory sensitivity, and interoception can intensify experiences of gender dysphoria.• Contextual Impairment - Autism support levels and ADHD severity reflect environmental demands as much as individual traits.• AuDHD Internal Conflict - ADHD novelty-seeking can coexist with autistic preferences for routine and predictability.• Hyperfocus & Task Initiation - Interest-based attention allows deep focus on engaging tasks but makes boring tasks difficult to start.• Planning vs Panic - Detailed planning tendencies can interact with ADHD overwhelm, leading to procrastination and last-minute urgency.• Social Energy Fluctuation - Socialising can feel energising or draining depending on stress, sensory load, and available energy.• Different, Not Defective - Many neurodivergent difficulties arise from environmental mismatch rather than inherent personal deficits.Support the showKeywords: AuDHD podcast, autism and ADHD, neurodivergent psychologist, neurodiversity affirming, Howearth Psychology, queer psychologist, autism diagnosis, ADHD awareness, lived experience, neurodivergent mental health, clinical psychology podcast