EP 15 How to Have the Best Christmas Ever

Christmas time can be very stressful in the Western World. Whilst everywhere we see images of happy gatherings, the reality can be very different. Everything gets a little frantic. People spend time buying presents and of course there are the family gatherings. Everyone wants everything to be perfect. And I sometimes wonder, if the same pressure exists in other religious traditions such as Diwali, Hanukkah or Yule. Personally, it's too much pressure and if you add to this a relative level of dysfunction that exists in most families, then it can be a recipe for disaster. In my family, it was taken to a whole new level due to the fact that I have four autistic children so this is the perfect storm to trigger meltdowns, sensory overload and kids actually not even wanting to come out of their bedrooms. For you it might be another kind of challenge (or a combination of): your family may be far away, maybe a loved one has recently died, you might be under a lot of financial stress or you might be single. Christmas is not kind to single people. Not many celebrations are. How can you do Christmas differently so that it can be a happier time for you? One way would be to fly away to a destination where they do not celebrate Christmas, but that's not always possible. I want to mention someone who has helped me tremendously to redefine Christmas and make it a much happier time for me and my kids. Lauren Winzar is an Australian decluttering and organisation coach with a signature program called Simplicity. She also has a very reasonable library of resources called the Simplicity Toolkit, available for the very kind price of AUD9 which you can check out here. One of the tools I used from her kit helps you do a Christmas audit. It's a questionnaire that you can fill in for each person in your household where they will share what they love about Christmas, what they don't, their favourite activities, the people they love, their favourite food, and their triggers. When I did this audit, it made me wonder why I had never asked my kids these questions before, or even myself. And it allowed me to make Christmas a much happier time for everyone. The other thing you can do is to learn to say no. And if you find it hard because, like me, you are a people pleaser, I share on the show seven ways you can say no without actually using the word. I was inspired by a humorous page on FB called Very British Problems, because let's say it, the British are very good at saying no without saying no, which to Frenchies like me, can drive us a little mad. French people know how to say no. There was a meme recently on FB that circulates of a foreigner who tried to order an oat Cafe au lait in Paris, and the waiter just said "No!" That had me giggling. I also want you to have strategies to deal with energy vampires over Christmas, because we all have them in our lives, if not in our friend circles anymore, they might lurk at work or in our families. In the episode, I share six strategies to deal with them (one of them is to learn to say no). I also share ideas of clutter free presents, inspired from Lauren's tool. I want to invite you to look at what you normally do at Christmas time and look at it with the eyes of an alien, and ask yourself: does it work for me? What could I do differently? Personally, I have gotten rid of the whole Christmas tree tradition and have created a wall one with drift wood and string, which I absolutely love looking at. I was never really satisfied with the real Christmas tree tradition as it did not feel very earth friendly. Last but not least, I want you to have realistic expectations. I have been reading the Happiness Trap recently and what I have retained from it, is that our emotions are like the weather. To expect to only get sunshine is not realistic and it means that you get upset about the rain. Challenge the assumption that if you feel negative emotions, you are not normal. Be kind to yourself. If it happens to you in the middle of a party, take some time out and allow yourself to feel all the feels without the pressure to perform in the happy happy Christmas play. Do the best you can and be ok with it. Last but not least, I gave you some tips on how to focus on small things that can enhance your feelings of happiness during the Christmas period even if you are feeling challenged. If you would like some support in the background, my Sage in Your Pocket package is ideal. You can reach out to me without having to get on a call and I can help you go through those difficult moments. Check it out here. If you have enjoyed this episode, please go in your favourite app and write us a review. Whilst you are at it, also rate it. And share it on socials. Thank you.