Ep. 167: Mom Rage Isn't A Meltdown, It's A Message

In this episode of The Birth Trauma Mama Podcast, Kayleigh is joined by Nicole McNelis, LPC, therapist, educator, and nationally recognized expert in maternal rage. Nicole shares how she became known as “the mom rage lady,” what maternal rage really is (and what it isn’t), and why so many perinatal trauma survivors experience it.Together, Kayleigh and Nicole unpack the systemic, emotional, and trauma-related roots of maternal rage, reframing it not as a personal failure, but as a powerful, righteous signal that something in your environment isn’t working. Nicole offers a compassionate, evidence-based lens for understanding rage as a response to unmet needs, violated expectations, and the ongoing pressures of unsupported motherhood.What You’ll Hear in This Episode:🔥 What maternal rage actually is—and how it differs from “anger”💥 The cycle of rage: buildup, explosion, and aftermath🧠 How trauma, powerlessness, and overstimulation fuel rage💔 Guilt and shame in the aftermath, and how to work through them🛠️ Coping strategies: somatic tools, curiosity over judgment, and self-compassion🏡 The role of division of labor, mental load, and unsupported parenting💬 How maternal rage can become a catalyst for individual & systemic change📣 Why we must stop pathologizing rage, and start listening to what it’s trying to tell usKey Quote:“Mom rage isn’t a character flaw. It’s a warning signal. It’s saying: ‘I am overwhelmed, I am unsupported, and I’m doing my best to survive.’”About Our Guest:Nicole McNelis is a licensed mental health therapist and perinatal mental health counseling specialist.  She is the founder of an award-winning counseling private practice in the suburbs of Philadelphia, Pennsylvania – where she also resides with her family.Passionate about supporting individuals through life transitions both big and small, Nicole helps her clients move through the overwhelm and exhaustion of juggling it all – all the time.Nicole has been featured as a mental health expert in print publications, online media, books, and podcasts. Serving as a Subject Matter Expert and Conference Presenter for Postpartum Support International, Nicole is honored to serve the perinatal mental health community. Resources & Links:Follow Nicole on Instagram: @therapist.mom.collectiveLearn more about Nicole's trainings and work: nicolemcnelis.comExplore trauma support at: thebirthtraumamama.comRead Nicole's Blog Post about Mom Rage ➡️ PSI BlogWant to participate in research about Mom Rage? ➡️  Rage Research Survey💜 Trigger Warning: This episode discusses rage, trauma, mental health, and systemic inequities in motherhood. Please listen with care.🎧 Tune in now wherever you get your podcasts, and don’t forget to subscribe, rate, and review to help us keep these critical conversations going.For more birth trauma content and a community full of love and support, head to my Instagram at @thebirthtrauma_mama.Learn more about the support and services I offer through The Birth Trauma Mama Therapy & Support Services.Disclaimer - The views and opinions expressed by guests on The Birth Trauma Mama Podcast are their own and do not necessarily reflect the official stance, views, or positions of The Birth Trauma Mama Podcast. The content shared is for informational purposes only and should not be considered as professional or medical advice and/or endorsement.