Ep. 174: Shoulder Dystocia, 3rd Degree Tear, & Feeling Dismissed feat. Lauren

In this listener story episode of The Birth Trauma Mama Podcast, I’m joined by Lauren, a writer and mom of two, who shares her powerful and vulnerable story of an unexpected and traumatic birth. After a smooth pregnancy and a well-prepared plan for an unmedicated delivery, Lauren’s labor took a sudden and intense turn involving prodromal labor, a failed epidural, vacuum-assisted delivery, and ultimately, a shoulder dystocia that left both her and her baby in physical and emotional recovery.From feeling dismissed by her doula, to processing the chaos and fear of delivery, to the quiet realization that what she experienced was, in fact, birth trauma, Lauren opens up about how she slowly pieced together her healing, with safe people, supportive providers, and her own learning.She also shares how she approached her second birth with a different mindset, opting for a planned cesarean and giving herself the space to reclaim control, safety, and peace.What You’ll Hear in This Episode:📍 Why prodromal labor caught Lauren completely off guard😞 Feeling dismissed and unsupported by her doula🧠 The emotional whiplash of a birth that didn’t go “according to plan”🚨 A failed epidural, vacuum-assisted delivery, and shoulder dystocia💔 The complexity of bonding after a traumatic birth🛠 How Lauren processed her trauma and found validation📚 The impact of books, podcasts, and getting off social media💡 A different approach to her second birth: planned C-section and true informed choice🧷 Why healing doesn't have to look one way, and why the "middle ground" matters📚 Resources & Mentions:Push Back: Guilt in the Age of Natural Parenting by Dr. Amy TuteurArticle on shoulder dystocia and trauma (coming soon!)Lauren’s writing on Substack: Live Learn LettersFollow Lauren on Instagram: @livelearnlauren💬 Listener Note: This episode discusses medical trauma, shoulder dystocia, emergency interventions, and bonding difficulties. Take care as you listen.🎧 Tune in wherever you get your podcasts, and if Lauren’s story resonates with you, please share this episode, rate it, and leave a review—it helps others feel less alone.For more birth trauma content and a community full of love and support, head to my Instagram at @thebirthtrauma_mama.Learn more about the support and services I offer through The Birth Trauma Mama Therapy & Support Services.Disclaimer - The views and opinions expressed by guests on The Birth Trauma Mama Podcast are their own and do not necessarily reflect the official stance, views, or positions of The Birth Trauma Mama Podcast. The content shared is for informational purposes only and should not be considered as professional or medical advice and/or endorsement.