Ep. 18 Jesus Popped Out of the Toaster While Satan Grinned as I Got Nailed.

Send us Fan MailYou will not believe the day I had today. I’m in the tattoo shop waiting room, minding my own business, when every single tattoo on the wall starts talking to me. I scroll past one and suddenly the Grim Reaper looks me dead in the eyes and hits me with the deepest, creepiest “What up” I’ve ever heard. Scared the absolute shit out of me. I just started laughing out loud like a maniac.Then I’m getting the tattoo right on the wrist, exact same spot Jesus got nailed, and it hurts like hell. I’m trying not to whine because, you know… Jesus went through worse.  Shifty Sean looks up and goes, “Oh, look above you.”  There’s a full Satan mask with a crown of thorns staring down at me with the most sly, shit-eating grin you’ve ever seen.Then he says, “Look at my toast.”  I turn around… and there it is, a piece of toast with Jesus’s face on it that popped out of his toaster a year ago. He’s had it hanging in the shop ever since.  So I’m laying there getting nailed in the wrist, Satan’s smirking at me from the ceiling, and Jesus is literally looking down from a piece of toast like “I’m the GOAT.”I didn’t say another word the rest of the session. Just laid there laughing. Oh, and by the way, Shifty Sean is a legit expert in quantum mechanics.  Do you still think this is a coincidence?Thy will shall be done.✝️-God's Lawyer & Consigliere of the Wave.🧙‍♂️♞🪽𓂀𐃯😇👹🐰💀🎸꩜𖣐