Ep 2: Preparing to Get an Adult Autism Evaluation - Self-Acceptance, Victory in Surrender (Part 1 of 3)

Show NotesEpisode details* Episode number: 2* Release date: 2026-04-06* Hosts:* Natasha Stavros, PhD — author of The Unmasking Diary and Burning Inside Out (coming to a bookstore near you in December 2026)* Sarah Liebman — licensed marriage and family therapist, ADHD-diagnosed, special interests all things neurodiverse.* Audio Engineer and Composer: Noah Smith* Director: Linda Highfield* Duration: 29:31 minutes* Audience and tone: Educational, conversational, supportive; stigma-free exploration of neurodivergence, diagnosis, and self-understanding using personal experience as a case study* Summary: After Episode 1 focused on signs of adult autism misdiagnosis, Episode 2 of Following the Threads, Dr. Natasha Stavros and psychotherapist Sarah Liebman discuss the crucial first step in preparing for an adult autism evaluation: self-acceptance. Utilizing the transtheoretical model of change, they explore the transition from recognizing autistic traits to seeking a formal late diagnosis. Dr. Stavros shares her personal unmasking journey, highlighting how surrendering the pressure to meet neurotypical expectations is the foundation of neurodivergent self-advocacy.Key insights to prepare to get an adult autism evaluation:* The moment of change for Natasha was when she stopped fighting that she was inherently wrong as a change maker, and instead started asking what is wrong? In the survival guide for change makers, Burning Inside Out, Natasha struggled with the internal conflict of never belonging. Something explains these patterns, and the truth that she was fundamentally wrong, couldn’t be right. That’s when she could begin to ask what could explain her reality - her true intentions. Without that turning point from fighting the truth, to surrendering to a truth, not the idea that she was inherently bad, but a truth, was the moment she could entertain the idea that an assessment was not just worth doing, but even something to be considered.* There are many change models for different scales of change, for today we are focused on the ones that are within the self. The change from non-thought to thought.* There is victory in surrender, as Anaïs Nin said, “ and the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud, is more painful than the risk to blossom”.Resources and referencesThe 5-stages of change and what they mean to you describes the transtheoretical model of change from non-thought to thought by Prochoska and DiClimente.The unthought known by Christopher BollasJoin the communityJoin our community of late-diagnosed adults learning to unmask. Subscribe to get the next episode of Following the Threads directly in your inbox. Upgrade to paid for early access to the book and other resources.Leave a review and share your own diagnostic journey to help others feel seen.Thanks for reading A Jester's Musings! This post is public so feel free to share it.The Unmasking Autism Diary: Memoir Excerpt on Preparing to Get an Autism Evaluation (Part 1 of 3)When I think about the moment that I crossed from realizing that I might be autistic, to actually getting an evaluation. I had an epiphany - it was the end of 2025, my book Burning Inside Out was literally coming to a close, I was writing the last chapter.Burning Inside Out is a survivor’s guide for change makers to create an impact in a world on fire. It is a narrative nonfiction following my nearly twenty year career as a young woman in the man’s world of fire science and tech at NASA. I ended the book with five futures in play. One of those futures - was a low-level, below the radar, role at a University as admin, surely that would save me from being the demonized change maker that seemed my eternal fate.Then I realized that that story was all about fighting to be seen, to be recognized, to be accepted, and to belong. Burning Inside Out presents the lessons of a fighter, a wild fire burning hot and fast destroying everything to a point of self extinction. I had consumed my own will and drive to stay true to myself, while complying with the expectations of who I should be, inherently existing as an outlier to the systems we have in place.This next book in the series of my life, it started not with fighting, but with finding victory in surrender. With victory in surrender, I accept my truth and open the door to an alternate reality. I am no longer fighting to be seen just as I am.Victory in surrender is the moment of self-acceptance, and the moment you embrace customization for how you live your life. Only then can you begin to understand your rights and protections, the services you need, and what exceptions you might ask for.And we will talk about all of those throughout this book, but for today, I want to focus on the first step: surrendering to the truth that you are different and our system didn’t center you in its design.That is the truth, and it is ok. We can change the system and there are groups working on this. We can also change how you navigate within the system if it doesn’t change. Both can be true. You are not in a destined fate.Self-advocacy starts with identifying with your reality, surrendering to it - and in this act, there is victory - a calm, a contagious peace that demonstrates the change you need from others and from the system, an acceptance of your needs, not because your are bad, wrong, or evil, but because you are different.This text is a snippet from my next book: After the Masquerade. For early access to the book and other resources, upgrade to a paid subscription. Get full access to A Jester's Musings at natashastavros.substack.com/subscribe