Ep. 215: Giving Yourself Permission: Identity, Advocacy & Reclaiming Joy

What does it really mean to give yourself permission, especially when you’ve been conditioned to put everyone else first?In this thoughtful and deeply resonant episode of The Birth Trauma Mama Podcast, Kayleigh is joined by Dr. George James, psychologist, speaker, executive coach, and author of I Give Myself Permission. With over a decade of shared history, Kayleigh and Dr. James reflect on growth, identity, trauma, and the invisible narratives that shape how we show up for ourselves, particularly after birth trauma.Dr. James shares how the pandemic, racial reckoning, leadership burnout, and family loss shaped his work and inspired his book. Together, they unpack why “just take care of yourself” is not only unhelpful, but often impossible without understanding the systems, identities, and stories we carry.This conversation is especially powerful for parents navigating birth trauma, clinicians supporting perinatal mental health, and anyone who feels stuck between survival and self-care.In this episode, we discuss:🧠 How internal narratives shape what we believe we’re allowed to need🔑 What “giving yourself permission” really means (and what it doesn’t)🫧 Why self-care is more than bubble baths and catchphrases🌍 Social stress, leadership stress, injustice stress, and family-of-origin stress👩‍👧‍👦 Why parents, especially mothers, are taught to put themselves last🤰How perinatal trauma reinforces harmful narratives like “the baby comes first”🗣️Giving yourself permission to advocate for your body and your life🪞 How identity and lived experience influence permission and self-worth❤️ Rewriting family scripts around affection, care, and masculinity😨 Facing fear, perfectionism, and shame in everyday moments🔄 Why permission is both a mindset and an action🪜 Taking half-steps when full steps aren’t accessible⚖️ Acknowledging privilege while honoring that permission is still possible🔍 Doing the deeper work underneath boundaries and self-care🤍 Learning to pause, celebrate growth, and notice where permission already existsKey takeaway:Giving yourself permission is not about willpower or positivity, it’s about understanding the stories, systems, and stressors that shaped you, and choosing care anyway.Guest Info:Dr. George JamesPsychologist | Speaker | Executive Coach | Author🌐 Website: georgetalks.com📘 Book: I Give Myself Permission (available wherever books are sold)📱 Social: @georgetalks🔗 More info: igivemyselfpermission.comIf this episode resonated with you:You are not failing at self-care. You may simply be carrying stories that once kept you safe. Awareness is the first step and permission can start small.For more birth trauma content and a community full of love and support, head to my Instagram at @thebirthtrauma_mama.Learn more about the support and services I offer through The Birth Trauma Mama Therapy & Support Services.Disclaimer - The views and opinions expressed by guests on The Birth Trauma Mama Podcast are their own and do not necessarily reflect the official stance, views, or positions of The Birth Trauma Mama Podcast. The content shared is for informational purposes only and should not be considered as professional or medical advice and/or endorsement.