EPISODE · Aug 17, 2026 · 30 MIN
Ep. 290: This is Everything: Why I'll Never Move to a Red State (Even for Family)
from Everything & Anything...and a bit gay Podcast · host Zach Randes-Friedman
In this week's "This Is Everything" segment, Zach gets personal about a question that's been on his mind: what does it actually mean to be a queer person living in a red state right now? Prompted by a wave of anti-LGBTQ+ news alerts and his own family's push to relocate, Zach walks through why he and his husband Andrew have ruled out moving closer to his brother, despite the appeal of buying a house outright and being near family. He talks candidly about growing up in Miami, the segregation he's noticed living in Massachusetts, and how racism gets learned rather than born. He also digs into the wave of state-level bills stripping rights from transgender people — including driver's license revocations happening with zero warning — and why he believes the volume of anti-LGBTQ+ legislation right now is a distraction from bigger issues. Zach lands on why Massachusetts, for all its quirks, is home: legal protections, a lesbian governor, direct flights, and a community where being loud and proud on a night out doesn't come with a second thought. It's a mix of the political and the deeply personal — family pressure, real estate math, small-town New Hampshire bike week, and what it means to choose safety over square footage. Podcast song by SIXFOOT 5: https://www.sixfoot5prod.com Apple: https://music.apple.com/us/artist/sixfoot-5/1551774977 Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/artist/5rHMzoU0G0fLhaBsrQiOOY?si=laSZ5hiKTYubJJyhrzf2JQ Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.
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What this episode covers
This "This Is Everything" segment finds Zach turning inward after a string of anti-LGBTQ+ news alerts hit his phone during a night out — the kind of moment that reminds him how much he takes his own safety for granted living in Massachusetts. He traces that feeling back to a real conversation happening in his own family: his brother, who lives in a red state, and husband Andrew have both floated the idea of relocating — whether to be closer to family or to escape New England's housing costs. Zach walks through why every version of that plan is off the table for him, from a Midwestern state with active anti-trans and anti-gay-marriage legislation, to New Hampshire towns that look charming on paper but read differently once you're driving past Trump signs or dealing with an out-of-control bike week. Along the way, he widens the lens — talking about growing up in a genuinely diverse Miami, noticing an unexpected kind of quiet segregation in his own Massachusetts neighborhood, and reflecting on a viral video about how racism is taught rather than innate. He connects all of this to the bigger picture: over 700 anti-LGBTQ+ bills introduced in the first half of 2026, transgender driver's licenses revoked overnight in red states, and his frustration that so much political energy goes toward targeting a small population instead of addressing bigger national problems. He closes by naming exactly what he needs to feel safe and at home — proximity to a major airport, direct flights, next-day delivery, access to his skincare routine, and above all, a state where his marriage and his community aren't up for debate — landing on why Massachusetts, imperfect as it is, is where he's staying.
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Ep. 290: This is Everything: Why I'll Never Move to a Red State (Even for Family)
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