Ep 32: AuDHD Experience - Understanding Emotions - A Conceptual Working Model

Send us Fan Mail🎙️ Episode 31: AuDHD Experience — A Working Model of Emotions"Emotions are our integrated experience of our body's response to our understanding of ourselves in our context."Summary:This week Aaron shares a working model for understanding emotions, developed with alexithymia and interoceptive differences in the neurodivergent community in mind. He defines emotion as combining cognitive appraisal (our understanding of self and context) with the body's physiological response, drawing on Darwin's survival-of-the-fittest framework extended to a "survive then thrive" lens.Aaron distinguishes challenge from threat, then walks through the activated spectrum of emotions using a real-world example from his own neighbourhood, St Kilda: fight (anger), flight (fear/anxiety), freeze, and fawn, explaining the physiological and attentional shifts behind each — heart rate, digestion, muscle tension, and narrowing focus. He extends the model into flop (depression, underpinned by hopelessness) and touches on disgust as a slower-threat, memory-enhancing response distinct from the acute threat responses.He then turns to positive and deactivated states — calm, contentment, boredom, and the activated positives of excitement, interest, curiosity, and play — showing how these emerge once safety is established and how they support learning and thriving rather than mere survival. Aaron closes with practical questions listeners can use to identify their own emotions when interoception is limited, such as noticing expectations, direction of movement (towards or away), activation level, and sense of agency.Key Themes & Takeaways:Emotion as appraisal plus body response – emotions reflect both our understanding of self-in-context and our body's activation (or non-activation) in responseChallenge vs threat – the same event can trigger different emotions depending on our perceived resources relative to the demandThe activated spectrum – fight, flight, freeze, and fawn each reflect a different appraisal of available resources to manage a threatFlop and hopelessness – depression's low-arousal presentation is framed as a response to perceived hopelessness about safetyDisgust as a distinct response – slower-threat, memory-enhancing, and less about urgent escapeThriving states – curiosity, interest, and play are framed as extensions available once safety is establishedPractical self-reflection tool – simple questions (expectation, direction, activation, agency) can help identify emotions without relying on interoceptive cuesReferenced Concepts:Alexithymia and interoceptionSchema theory and internal working modelsDarwin's theory of natural selectionFight, flight, freeze, fawn, and flop responsesDisgust and contamination-avoidanceKelly McGonigal's TED talk on stress reappraisalWe are different, not defective.Follow us on Instagram for updates and community discussion.Got a question or story to share? Send us fan mail — we'd love to hear from you.Support the showKeywords: AuDHD podcast, autism and ADHD, neurodivergent psychologist, neurodiversity affirming, Howearth Psychology, queer psychologist, autism diagnosis, ADHD awareness, lived experience, neurodivergent mental health, clinical psychology podcast