Ep 34 Musings w/Mookie

When you listen to the audio, please understand I didn’t kill anyone…I find myself censoring myself often. Censor myself for friends, family, colleagues, strangers because all the world’s a stage or the coercion of making my first impression my best impression. It seems like I am constantly having to sell myself but with edits. I don’t want to have censor myself because my initial voice is not pleasant or palatable. It’s too dry and no one knows that I am pleasant. That I am not necessarily having a bad day.Ultimately it is self-sabotage. How can one not censor themselves in groups where you are expected to censor. I’m not speaking of profane language, but what is seen as using softer language. All the cotton clusters, butterflies, and floral arrangements a sentence can have.Just writing that last sentence has me grimace - I am not a puff pastry.I am straightforward but diplomatic and I am able to pivot or change a standard if needed. I am almost chameleon like but why? Why is every scene a scene? What does it take to fully relax through? My therapist says I am very logical, that I must lead with more emotion. My friendships are approached differently from my business relationships.Well that is going to change. We all are going to change, We are going to move from the shadows and do what we want because it is needed to stabilize the future. We have to bring back the real. I have to be okay again with with being open and elusive. I tried the rigidity of a “normal” life. I am ready to be free. Join me.Mookie💜✨️ This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit mookiemadeit.substack.com