Ep. 390: [Soapbox] Easygoing; Hard to Live With

Sex therapist Jessa Zimmerman explains how being “easygoing” or people-pleasing—rarely stating preferences and letting a partner decide—can create a hidden burden in relationships. She describes clients who didn’t realize how constant small decisions (meals, plans, TV) led to their partner’s decision fatigue and reduced connection because the partner couldn’t encounter their wants, opinions, and priorities. Zimmerman shares a practical exercise: carrying an object (like Legos) as a reminder to voice “I want/I would like” five times a day, which helped one couple reduce overwhelm and increase mutual satisfaction. She also outlines common roots of easygoing behavior, including being praised for it, growing up around someone with bigger needs, or learning to disconnect from desires to avoid disappointment.00:00 Show Intro00:46 Soapbox Topic Setup01:41 Lego Pocket Exercise02:30 Decision Fatigue Relief04:29 Why Easygoing Hurts05:11 How It Develops06:55 Try a New Habit07:11 Outro and CreditsWant to learn more about my sponsored charity? Charity: Water is committed to providing clean water to every human on the planet, 100% of your contribution will be used directly for water projects around the globe. You can learn more at https://www.bettersexpodcast.com/water.More info and resources:Secret Podcast for the Higher Desire Partner: https://www.intimacywithease.com/hdppodcastSecret Podcast for the Lower Desire Partner: https://www.intimacywithease.com/ldppodcastHow Big a Problem is Your Sex Life? Quiz – https://www.sexlifequiz.comThe Course – https://www.intimacywithease.comThe Book – https://www.sexwithoutstress.comPodcast Website – https://www.bettersexpodcast.comAccess the Free webinar: Intimacy Made Easy: 3 Secrets to Bridging Libido Differences: https://intimacywithease.com/masterclass This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit jessazimmerman.substack.com/subscribe