Ep. 410: [Soapbox] Tuesday Is Different Than Thursday: Communicating Pleasure in Sex

Jessa argues that each person is responsible for their own sexual pleasure by learning what feels good, what turns them on, and then clearly sharing that information with a partner. She emphasizes that partners aren’t mind readers and don’t have the same instant feedback loop as masturbation, so words, demonstrations, and usable vocabulary are crucial for guiding touch. Sharing preferences should be framed as a gift of information rather than criticism, since most partners want to please and be good lovers. Jessa notes that there is no fixed “recipe” because desire and sensation change over time and even from day to day—“Tuesday is different than Thursday”—making it important to keep speaking up and offering real-time guidance.00:00 Tuesday vs Thursday00:05 Own Your Pleasure01:06 Feedback Not Criticism01:46 Find the Words02:25 Show and Tell Touch02:42 No Fixed Recipe03:03 Speak Up in the MomentWant to learn more about my sponsored charity? Charity: Water is committed to providing clean water to every human on the planet, 100% of your contribution will be used directly for water projects around the globe. You can learn more at https://www.bettersexpodcast.com/water.More info and resources:Secret Podcast for the Higher Desire Partner: https://www.intimacywithease.com/hdppodcastSecret Podcast for the Lower Desire Partner: https://www.intimacywithease.com/ldppodcastHow Big a Problem is Your Sex Life? Quiz – https://www.sexlifequiz.comThe Course – https://www.intimacywithease.com/iwecourseThe Book – https://www.sexwithoutstress.comAccess the Free webinar: Intimacy Made Easy: 3 Secrets to Bridging Libido Differences: https://intimacywithease.com/masterclassIntimacy with Ease is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit jessazimmerman.substack.com/subscribe