Ep. 424: [Soapbox] Relationship Agreements for Difficult Conversations

In this soapbox episode of the Better Sex Podcast, host and sex therapist Jessa Zimmerman suggests couples create explicit relationship agreements—written down and revisited during hard moments—rather than assuming they share the same expectations. Inspired by classroom agreements used at the start of a college sexuality course, Jessa proposes making agreements when partners feel calm and connected, then using them as a guide during difficult conversations. She offers five sample agreements: assume goodwill and give your partner the benefit of the doubt; use “I” statements instead of blame; approach conflict with curiosity; give yourselves permission to mess up and return gently to the agreements; and practice accountability by owning your own contributions and mistakes first before inviting your partner to do the same.00:00 Welcome to Better Sex00:46 Why Make Agreements02:12 Write Them Down02:29 Assume Goodwill03:00 Use I Statements03:30 Lead With Curiosity04:07 Permission to Mess Up04:43 Accountability Matters05:49 Try This at Home06:22 Closing and Credits Want to learn more about my sponsored charity? Charity: Water is committed to providing clean water to every human on the planet, 100% of your contribution will be used directly for water projects around the globe. You can learn more at https://www.bettersexpodcast.com/water.More info and resources:Secret Podcast for the Higher Desire Partner: https://www.intimacywithease.com/hdppodcastSecret Podcast for the Lower Desire Partner: https://www.intimacywithease.com/ldppodcastHow Big a Problem is Your Sex Life? Quiz – https://www.sexlifequiz.com The Course – https://www.intimacywithease.com/iwecourseThe Book – https://www.sexwithoutstress.com Access the Free webinar: Intimacy Made Easy: 3 Secrets to Bridging Libido Differences: https://intimacywithease.com/masterclass Intimacy with Ease is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit jessazimmerman.substack.com/subscribe