EP 43: Single on Valentine's Day? The Questions Nobody's Asking

This Valentine's Day, you don't need another article telling you how to cope with being single. You don't need tips for surviving the day or substitutes for what you actually want. In this solo episode, host Madden challenges the three dominant narratives around Valentine's Day—the "you don't need anyone" approach, the "here's how to get through it" mindset, and the "celebrate with friends instead" substitute—and offers something deeper: three questions that will help you understand what you truly want and where you're wanting from.Drawing from personal experience including a past relationship where she felt profoundly lonely despite being partnered, Madden shares the powerful moon phases tattoo story that reminds her she's always whole, even when she doesn't feel complete. She explores the critical difference between wanting love to fill an emptiness versus wanting love as a container to share your wholeness with, and why both truths can exist simultaneously: you can deeply crave love AND know you are complete.This episode is for anyone—single, partnered, or somewhere in between—who's tired of surface-level Valentine's Day advice and ready to get honest about desire, wholeness, and what authentic love actually feels like.WHAT YOU'LL LEARN:Why the three common Valentine's Day approaches all miss the pointThe difference between wanting love from emptiness versus wanting from fullnessHow to recognize whether you're accepting substitutes for what you truly craveA powerful practice of writing a love letter from your future selfWhy you can want partnership and feel complete at the exact same time"Wholeness, being complete, isn't about not wanting anything. It's about wanting from a full place instead of an empty one. That's the shift that changes everything in how you date."- Madden ZappaCONNECT WITH YOUR HOST MADDEN ZAPPA:Madden Zappa is a dating and relationship coach who helps people recognize and break the patterns that keep them dating the same person over and over again. Through her podcast "We're Dating the Same Guy," Madden combines vulnerable personal stories with practical frameworks to help listeners date smarter, healthier, and more intentionally. Her approach is refreshingly honest—she's willing to share her own uncomfortable truths and dating mistakes to help others avoid the same cycles. With expertise in attachment styles, dating psychology, and relationship patterns, Madden creates content that speaks to the late-night Google searches we're all too afraid to admit we're making.Madden's Instagram: ⁠@maddenzappa⁠STAY UP TO DATE WITH WE'RE DATING THE SAME GUY:We NOW have an Instagram. Follow us over at ⁠@datedifferentlyco⁠Submit YOUR dating stories and questions: ⁠Date Differently Diaries (completely anonymous)⁠✨As always, we do not gatekeep how to date smarter. If this episode moved you or taught you something new, think it would be beneficial for others to hear, please take a moment to follow, leave a review, and SHARE! Pass this episode along to someone who would love it too or head on over Instagram to share the most recent episode.