We're Dating the Same Guy

We have more ways than ever to meet people, communicate, and see how others are living their lives. And yet — research shows we're in the middle of a loneliness epidemic. More than 6 in 10 adults in the U.S. report feeling disconnected. So what's actually going on?In this solo episode, Madden gets into three specific ways that living in a digital world is quietly wrecking how we date — and what you can actually do about it.WHAT YOU'LL LEARN:Why constant texting early in dating creates a false sense of intimacy — and what real connection actually requiresHow your social media algorithm is secretly setting impossible relationship standards (and why we never see the messy middle)The truth about dating apps: they weren't designed to help you find love — they were designed to keep you on the appWhy every swipe and match is really just an ego hit dressed up as datingThree practical things you can do right now to start dating with more presence and intention"We are living in a time where we have more ways than ever to meet people and connect. And yet, research is showing time and time again that we're actually potentially the most disconnected generation. More than six out of 10 adults in the U.S. report feeling disconnected or lonely. That is not a coincidence. That is a pattern worth paying attention to."- Madden ZappaLOVE LAB & MORE:🎟️  Love Lab LIVE Dating Event- Minneapolis, May 4th📥 Free PDF Guide: The 9 Dating Personalities (deeper breakdown of every pattern)CONNECT WITH MADDEN:Madden Zappa is a dating and relationship coach who helps people recognize and break the patterns that keep them dating the same person over and over again. Through her podcast "We're Dating the Same Guy," Madden combines vulnerable personal stories with practical frameworks to help listeners date smarter, healthier, and more intentionally. Her approach is refreshingly honest—she's willing to share her own uncomfortable truths and dating mistakes to help others avoid the same cycles. With expertise in attachment styles, dating psychology, and relationship patterns, Madden creates content that speaks to the late-night Google searches we're all too afraid to admit we're making.Madden's Instagram: ⁠@maddenzappa⁠STAY UP TO DATE WITH WE'RE DATING THE SAME GUY:We NOW have an Instagram. Follow us over at ⁠@datedifferentlyco⁠Submit YOUR dating stories and questions: ⁠Date Differently Diaries (completely anonymous)⁠✨As always, we do not gatekeep how to date smarter. If this episode moved you or taught you something new, think it would be beneficial for others to hear, please take a moment to follow, leave a review, and SHARE! Pass this episode along to someone who would love it too or head on over Instagram to share the most recent episode.

You've been on the dates. You've felt the spark — or you haven't. You've told yourself you have a "type." You've stayed friendly with your ex "just because." And you've done all of it while genuinely believing you're ready for a relationship.But what if most of what you've been taught about dating is quietly working against you?This week, Madden sat down with Alessandra Conti — Celebrity Matchmaker and co-founder of Matchmakers In The City in Beverly Hills to talk about the single biggest mistake daters make (going for chemistry instead of character), what a man's Instagram following actually tells you, and the real reason why men who are great at dating are usually terrible in relationships. Then we go fully off-script — into whether men and women can actually just be friends, and why staying in contact with your ex isn't harmless, it's self-sabotage.This one is going to make you want to text your group chat immediately.WHAT YOU'LL LEARN:Why chemistry-chasing is keeping you in the same loop — and the question Alessandra says to ask insteadThe one Instagram red flag that tells you a man isn't ready for a relationshipCan men and women actually be just friends? (We have opinions.)Why staying friends with your ex is an avoidant attachment pattern — not just a personality traitHyperindependence as a trauma response and how to start letting people in"People are going for chemistry and not going for character. And this is where we are — welcome to 2026 and the wild, wild west of dating. It's not that chemistry doesn't matter. It's that character is the thing that sustains a relationship once the butterflies quiet down. And most people aren't vetting for character at all."- Alessandra ContiCONNECT WITH ALESSANDRA CONTI:Alessandra Conti is a Celebrity Matchmaker and co-founder of Matchmakers In The City, a personal matchmaking firm based in Beverly Hills. She has served as the matchmaker for Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, NBC's Access Hollywood, TLC's My Big Fat Fabulous Life, and two seasons of MTV's Are You The One. Her advice has been featured in Forbes, The New York Times, The LA Times, and Fox News. Over nearly 14 years, Alessandra has worked with clients ranging from royalty to young professionals, leading a team of six matchmakers responsible for hundreds of marriages.Alessandra's Instagram: @matchmakeralessandracontiMatchmakers In The City: @matchmakersinthecityMatchmakers In The City WebsiteLOVE LAB & MORE🎟️ Love Lab Live Dating Event – Minneapolis, May 4th 📥 Free PDF Guide: The 9 Dating Personalities (deeper breakdown of every pattern) CONNECT WITH YOUR HOST MADDEN ZAPPA:Madden Zappa is a dating and relationship coach who helps people recognize and break the patterns that keep them dating the same person over and over again. Through her podcast "We're Dating the Same Guy," Madden combines vulnerable personal stories with practical frameworks to help listeners date smarter, healthier, and more intentionally. Her approach is refreshingly honest—she's willing to share her own uncomfortable truths and dating mistakes to help others avoid the same cycles. With expertise in attachment styles, dating psychology, and relationship patterns, Madden creates content that speaks to the late-night Google searches we're all too afraid to admit we're making.Madden's Instagram: ⁠@maddenzappa⁠STAY UP TO DATE WITH WE'RE DATING THE SAME GUY:We NOW have an Instagram. Follow us over at ⁠@datedifferentlyco⁠Submit YOUR dating stories and questions: ⁠Date Differently Diaries (completely anonymous)⁠✨As always, we do not gatekeep how to date smarter. If this episode moved you or taught you something new, think it would be beneficial for others to hear, please take a moment to follow, leave a review, and SHARE! Pass this episode along to someone who would love it too or head on over Instagram to share the most recent episode.

Have you ever looked back at everyone you've dated and thought… wait, why does this keep happening? This week Madden breaks down something that's been living in her head for months — and honestly, it cracked something open for her in a really big way.It started with a simple comment from her best friend: "He's totally your type." And she couldn't let it go. Because she's always said she doesn't have a type. But here's what she realized — it was never about her type. It was about her pattern.In this solo episode, Madden walks you through 9 dating personalities she's identified from her own experience, her coaching practice, and the stories of so many women navigating dating. These aren't diagnoses. They're not labels. They're tools — for awareness, for self-understanding, and for finally starting to spot the behaviors that aren't serving you.WHAT YOU'LL LEARNWhy your "type" is actually your pattern in disguiseThe 9 dating personalities: The Saleswoman, The Chameleon, The Bargainer, The Detective, The Dreamer, The Runner, The Project Manager, The Performer, and The Affirmation JunkieThe unique strength inside every single one of these patternsThe one shift each personality can make to start showing up differentlyWhy awareness alone isn't enough — and what comes next"Awareness is everything. And also — awareness is just the first step. What you do with your awareness, that's where the change actually starts to take place. That's the work. So which one hit home for you? Because knowing your pattern is one thing. Choosing differently is another."- MaddenRESOURCES MENTIONED📥 FREE 9 Dating Personalities Guide (deeper breakdown of every pattern) 🎟️ Love Lab Live Dating Event – Minneapolis, May 4th [LIMITED SPOTS- BOOK BEFORE IT FILLS UP]📲 Follow Madden on Instagram: @maddenzappaCONNECT WITH MADDEN ZAPPA:Madden Zappa is a dating and relationship coach who helps people recognize and break the patterns that keep them dating the same person over and over again. Through her podcast "We're Dating the Same Guy," Madden combines vulnerable personal stories with practical frameworks to help listeners date smarter, healthier, and more intentionally. Her approach is refreshingly honest—she's willing to share her own uncomfortable truths and dating mistakes to help others avoid the same cycles. With expertise in attachment styles, dating psychology, and relationship patterns, Madden creates content that speaks to the late-night Google searches we're all too afraid to admit we're making.Madden's Instagram: ⁠@maddenzappa⁠STAY UP TO DATE WITH WE'RE DATING THE SAME GUY:We NOW have an Instagram. Follow us over at ⁠@datedifferentlyco⁠Submit YOUR dating stories and questions: ⁠Date Differently Diaries (completely anonymous)⁠✨As always, we do not gatekeep how to date smarter. If this episode moved you or taught you something new, think it would be beneficial for others to hear, please take a moment to follow, leave a review, and SHARE! Pass this episode along to someone who would love it too or head on over Instagram to share the most recent episode.

Welcome to Season 3 of We're Dating the Same Guy!After a few weeks off, Madden had a lot of time to reflect on modern dating, how Madden's showing up as a host, and the things that have been genuinely driving her crazy lately in the dating space. And she's done keeping them in.In this season premiere, she's getting real about three things she keeps seeing that are quietly sabotaging our dating lives and stories we're holding on to that are not serving us.This episode isn't about blame. It's about awareness — the kind that actually leads somewhere. And it's a preview of exactly what Season 3 is about: going deeper, getting more honest, and having the conversations that aren't always comfortable but are absolutely necessary.RESERVE YOUR SPACE FOR THE LOVE LABA never before seen LIVE dating event coming to Minneapolis on May 4! Spots are limited to 40 individuals. LEARN MORE AND BOOK YOUR TICKET HERE.Why "there are no good men out there" might be the most damaging thing you can say — and what it's actually doing to your dating energy and the culture around yoUThe real reason meeting people organically isn't working (hint: it's not just bad luck)Why wanting a relationship and being ready for one are two very different thingsHow to honestly assess whether you have the time, energy, and bandwidth to show up fully in a relationship right nowWhat accountability in dating actually looks like — without letting anyone off the hook for bad behaviorWhy the most uncomfortable dating conversations are usually the most necessary ones"Dating right now is a double-edged sword. You say you don't want to meet someone on the apps, that you want to meet people in the wild — but what actions are you actually taking for that to happen? And then when someone does approach you in public, so many people are turned off. Y'all, we can't have it both ways." - MaddenMadden Zappa is a dating and relationship coach who helps people recognize and break the patterns that keep them dating the same person over and over again. Through her podcast "We're Dating the Same Guy," Madden combines vulnerable personal stories with practical frameworks to help listeners date smarter, healthier, and more intentionally. Her approach is refreshingly honest—she's willing to share her own uncomfortable truths and dating mistakes to help others avoid the same cycles. With expertise in attachment styles, dating psychology, and relationship patterns, Madden creates content that speaks to the late-night Google searches we're all too afraid to admit we're making.Madden's Instagram: ⁠@maddenzappa⁠STAY UP TO DATE WITH WE'RE DATING THE SAME GUY:We NOW have an Instagram. Follow us over at ⁠@datedifferentlyco⁠Submit YOUR dating stories and questions: ⁠Date Differently Diaries (completely anonymous)⁠✨As always, we do not gatekeep how to date smarter. If this episode moved you or taught you something new, think it would be beneficial for others to hear, please take a moment to follow, leave a review, and SHARE! Pass this episode along to someone who would love it too or head on over Instagram to share the most recent episode.

Have you ever left a date feeling butterflies and obsessive thoughts and assumed it meant real chemistry? What if that feeling wasn't chemistry at all — what if it was anxiety? Y'all, they can feel almost identical. And if you've been confusing the two your whole dating life, this episode is going to be a game-changer.Madden breaks down the three key variables that are actually at play every time you start dating someone — anxiety, chemistry, and compatibility — and how understanding the difference between them can completely transform the way you date. She shares three personal stories from her own dating life that illustrate exactly what each of these dynamics looks and feels like in the real world: a connection that was pure chemistry (but zero compatibility), a man who was everything on paper (but the attraction just wasn't there), and what it actually feels like to finally build something from a stable, secure place.WHAT YOU'LL LEARN:Why chemistry and anxiety feel so similar — especially for anxious attachersHow to check in with your body after a date to assess what you're actually feelingThe three variables (anxiety, chemistry, compatibility) and how they can show up in every combinationWhat the "holy grail" combination actually feels like — and why it might seem boring at firstWhy chemistry can get you hooked, but compatibility is what keeps you togetherWhat happens in your body when anxiety is fading vs. when chemistry is fadingWhy healthy love can feel uncomfortable if you're used to chaos"If it's not a hell yes, it's a no. Every single person deserves to date someone that when asked that question, it's a hell yes."- Madden ZappaCONNECT WITH YOUR HOST MADDEN ZAPPA:Madden Zappa is a dating and relationship coach who helps people recognize and break the patterns that keep them dating the same person over and over again. Through her podcast "We're Dating the Same Guy," Madden combines vulnerable personal stories with practical frameworks to help listeners date smarter, healthier, and more intentionally. Her approach is refreshingly honest—she's willing to share her own uncomfortable truths and dating mistakes to help others avoid the same cycles. With expertise in attachment styles, dating psychology, and relationship patterns, Madden creates content that speaks to the late-night Google searches we're all too afraid to admit we're making.Madden's Instagram: ⁠@maddenzappa⁠STAY UP TO DATE WITH WE'RE DATING THE SAME GUY:We NOW have an Instagram. Follow us over at ⁠@datedifferentlyco⁠Submit YOUR dating stories and questions: ⁠Date Differently Diaries (completely anonymous)⁠✨As always, we do not gatekeep how to date smarter. If this episode moved you or taught you something new, think it would be beneficial for others to hear, please take a moment to follow, leave a review, and SHARE! Pass this episode along to someone who would love it too or head on over Instagram to share the most recent episode.

Are you an ambitious woman who's been told you're "too much"? Or have you bought into the idea that you need to choose between crushing it in your career and having a fulfilling relationship? This conversation with Angie Lee is going to completely shift how you think about ambition, feminine energy, and what it really means to build a life you love.Angie is a college dropout turned multi-million dollar entrepreneur, keynote speaker, and content creator who's been in the game for over 15 years. We're diving deep into how ambition shows up differently in business versus relationships, why the soft girl era is actually hurting women, and how to navigate masculine and feminine energy without losing yourself in the process.If you've ever felt like you had to dim your drive to be loved, questioned whether you can "have it all," or wondered why your relationship feels like work when your career feels easy (or vice versa), this episode is for you. Angie shares the uncomfortable truth about what happened when she tried to stop working completely, how her partner literally told her "this won't work unless you get back to your work," and why Disney sold us a lie that's still messing with our relationships today.WHAT YOU'LL LEARN:The false choice between girl boss and trad wife—and why the answer is neitherHow creative suppression is killing women's mental health and relationshipsWhy men need respect more than love (and what that actually means)The princess complex and how it's secretly disrespecting your partnerWhat women actually want: optionality and work they love, not to do nothingHow to shift between masculine energy in business and feminine energy in relationshipsThe most attractive thing about a woman (hint: it's not what you think)Why your relationship struggles might mirror your business struggles"Your relationship is the foundation of your life. When we aren't doing well, it is harder for me to show up. And vice versa, when you're in such a great season of your relationship, you can take that fuel and it enhances whatever you're doing."- Angie LeeCONNECT WITH ANGIE LEE:Angie Lee is a college and corporate dropout who built multiple seven- and eight-figure brands without following anyone else's blueprint. At 19, she started a health and wellness blog that eventually exploded into a full content creation career spanning 15+ years. She's the co-founder of Soul gummies (a health and wellness brand), a powerhouse keynote speaker, podcaster, and social media expert who's mastered the art of being unapologetically herself online.Angie Lee's Instagram: @angieleeshow Angie's WebsiteCONNECT WITH YOUR HOST MADDEN ZAPPA:Madden Zappa is a dating and relationship coach who helps people recognize and break the patterns that keep them dating the same person over and over again. Through her podcast "We're Dating the Same Guy," Madden combines vulnerable personal stories with practical frameworks to help listeners date smarter, healthier, and more intentionally. Her approach is refreshingly honest—she's willing to share her own uncomfortable truths and dating mistakes to help others avoid the same cycles. With expertise in attachment styles, dating psychology, and relationship patterns, Madden creates content that speaks to the late-night Google searches we're all too afraid to admit we're making.Madden's Instagram: ⁠@maddenzappa⁠STAY UP TO DATE WITH WE'RE DATING THE SAME GUY:We NOW have an Instagram. Follow us over at ⁠@datedifferentlyco⁠Submit YOUR dating stories and questions: ⁠Date Differently Diaries (completely anonymous)⁠✨As always, we do not gatekeep how to date smarter. If this episode moved you or taught you something new, think it would be beneficial for others to hear, please take a moment to follow, leave a review, and SHARE! Pass this episode along to someone who would love it too or head on over Instagram to share the most recent episode.

This Valentine's Day, you don't need another article telling you how to cope with being single. You don't need tips for surviving the day or substitutes for what you actually want. In this solo episode, host Madden challenges the three dominant narratives around Valentine's Day—the "you don't need anyone" approach, the "here's how to get through it" mindset, and the "celebrate with friends instead" substitute—and offers something deeper: three questions that will help you understand what you truly want and where you're wanting from.Drawing from personal experience including a past relationship where she felt profoundly lonely despite being partnered, Madden shares the powerful moon phases tattoo story that reminds her she's always whole, even when she doesn't feel complete. She explores the critical difference between wanting love to fill an emptiness versus wanting love as a container to share your wholeness with, and why both truths can exist simultaneously: you can deeply crave love AND know you are complete.This episode is for anyone—single, partnered, or somewhere in between—who's tired of surface-level Valentine's Day advice and ready to get honest about desire, wholeness, and what authentic love actually feels like.WHAT YOU'LL LEARN:Why the three common Valentine's Day approaches all miss the pointThe difference between wanting love from emptiness versus wanting from fullnessHow to recognize whether you're accepting substitutes for what you truly craveA powerful practice of writing a love letter from your future selfWhy you can want partnership and feel complete at the exact same time"Wholeness, being complete, isn't about not wanting anything. It's about wanting from a full place instead of an empty one. That's the shift that changes everything in how you date."- Madden ZappaCONNECT WITH YOUR HOST MADDEN ZAPPA:Madden Zappa is a dating and relationship coach who helps people recognize and break the patterns that keep them dating the same person over and over again. Through her podcast "We're Dating the Same Guy," Madden combines vulnerable personal stories with practical frameworks to help listeners date smarter, healthier, and more intentionally. Her approach is refreshingly honest—she's willing to share her own uncomfortable truths and dating mistakes to help others avoid the same cycles. With expertise in attachment styles, dating psychology, and relationship patterns, Madden creates content that speaks to the late-night Google searches we're all too afraid to admit we're making.Madden's Instagram: ⁠@maddenzappa⁠STAY UP TO DATE WITH WE'RE DATING THE SAME GUY:We NOW have an Instagram. Follow us over at ⁠@datedifferentlyco⁠Submit YOUR dating stories and questions: ⁠Date Differently Diaries (completely anonymous)⁠✨As always, we do not gatekeep how to date smarter. If this episode moved you or taught you something new, think it would be beneficial for others to hear, please take a moment to follow, leave a review, and SHARE! Pass this episode along to someone who would love it too or head on over Instagram to share the most recent episode.

Ever feel like you're just going through the motions on dates? Asking the same questions, having the same conversations, dating the same types of people over and over? You're not alone—and you're probably dating on autopilot.In this solo episode, I'm pulling back the curtain on something that's been showing up in both my nine-to-five life as a fitness instructor and my dating life: the difference between being a student and being on autopilot. When I started learning a new class format after teaching for nearly a decade, I noticed something. The same feelings of discomfort, vulnerability, and fear of judgment that came up while teaching? They're the exact same feelings we experience in dating.WHAT YOU'LL LEARN:Why the moment you think you've figured out dating is the moment you stop growingHow autopilot mode creates disconnection (even in long-term relationships)The uncomfortable truth about feedback and why we get so defensiveWhy not everyone is going to like you—and why that's actually a good thingPractical ways to step out of autopilot and back into curiosity"If you're not staying curious about your partner, you're no longer a student of your relationship. And eventually one day you could wake up with someone next to you and realize that they're a stranger."- Madden ZappaCONNECT WITH YOUR HOST: MADDEN ZAPPAMadden Zappa is a dating and relationship coach who helps people recognize and break the patterns that keep them dating the same person over and over again. Through her podcast "We're Dating the Same Guy," Madden combines vulnerable personal stories with practical frameworks to help listeners date smarter, healthier, and more intentionally. Her approach is refreshingly honest—she's willing to share her own uncomfortable truths and dating mistakes to help others avoid the same cycles. With expertise in attachment styles, dating psychology, and relationship patterns, Madden creates content that speaks to the late-night Google searches we're all too afraid to admit we're making.Madden's Instagram: ⁠@maddenzappa⁠STAY UP TO DATE WITH WE'RE DATING THE SAME GUY:We NOW have an Instagram. Follow us over at ⁠@datedifferentlyco⁠Submit YOUR dating stories and questions: ⁠Date Differently Diaries (completely anonymous)⁠✨As always, we do not gatekeep how to date smarter. If this episode moved you or taught you something new, think it would be beneficial for others to hear, please take a moment to follow, leave a review, and SHARE! Pass this episode along to someone who would love it too or head on over Instagram to share the most recent episode.

Let's talk about that person you keep going back to even though you know better! In this raw, vulnerable solo episode, I'm sharing my 18-month situationship saga—the hot and cold dynamic, the false promises, and the moment I finally closed the door for good on January 1st.If you've ever felt confused about where you stand, made excuses for inconsistent behavior, or held onto hope that "this time will be different," this episode is your permission slip to want more.WHAT YOU'LL LEARN:The 4 types of situationships (and which one keeps you most hooked)Why we confuse intensity with intimacy—and how that keeps us stuckThe psychology behind anxious-avoidant dynamics in undefined relationshipsHow to assess your non-negotiables before having "the talk"The three-month rule: when to define the relationship or walk awayWhy "if he wanted to, he would" isn't harsh—it's honestHow dating other people can open to yours to what you were settling for"Staying in a situationship where there's a lack of clarity is you also choosing uncertainty just on the other side. So what's harder? Sitting in the uncertainty with someone where you're not sure where this is ever going to go, or having the conversation and receiving the clarity you need and potentially then experiencing the uncertainty of no longer being in the situationship? The latter opens you up to then actually meeting someone and dating someone who could be a much better match for you long term."- Madden ZappaCONNECT WITH YOUR HOST: MADDEN ZAPPAMadden Zappa is a dating and relationship coach who helps people recognize and break the patterns that keep them dating the same person over and over again. Through her podcast "We're Dating the Same Guy," Madden combines vulnerable personal stories with practical frameworks to help listeners date smarter, healthier, and more intentionally. Her approach is refreshingly honest—she's willing to share her own uncomfortable truths and dating mistakes to help others avoid the same cycles. With expertise in attachment styles, dating psychology, and relationship patterns, Madden creates content that speaks to the late-night Google searches we're all too afraid to admit we're making.Madden's Instagram: ⁠@maddenzappa⁠STAY UP TO DATE WITH WE'RE DATING THE SAME GUY:We NOW have an Instagram. Follow us over at ⁠@datedifferentlyco⁠Submit YOUR dating stories and questions: ⁠Date Differently Diaries (completely anonymous)⁠✨As always, we do not gatekeep how to date smarter. If this episode moved you or taught you something new, think it would be beneficial for others to hear, please take a moment to follow, leave a review, and SHARE! Pass this episode along to someone who would love it too or head on over Instagram to share the most recent episode.

What if you approached dating the same way high performers approach everything else in their lives—with intention, strategy, and a commitment to excellence? Today I'm sitting down with Coach Dar, a mental performance coach who works with pro athletes and executives, and she's breaking down why quality attracts quality and what it actually takes to show up as quality in the dating world.Here's the truth: If you're not doing the work to be quality, you won't attract quality. And that work isn't about changing who you are—it's about sharpening yourself, knowing yourself deeply, and bringing your best to the table. Coach Dar shares why confidence in dating is really about psychological safety, why you need to treat choosing a partner like you're vetting a billion-dollar business deal, and the exact questions to ask on first dates that reveal true alignment.We're talking about slowing down instead of rushing into physical connection, doing your due diligence before committing, and why the person you choose is the biggest business deal you'll ever make for your finances, health, and quality of life. This conversation is for anyone who's ready to approach dating like a high performer—intentionally, strategically, and with standards.Whether you're tired of repeating the same patterns, wondering why you keep attracting the wrong people, or just ready to level up how you show up in dating—this episode will give you the framework to date differently.WHAT YOU'LL LEARN:Why quality attracts quality—and what it takes to BE qualityHow to treat choosing a partner like a billion-dollar business deal (do your due diligence)The exact work you need to do to show up as your best self in datingWhy confidence is really about creating psychological safetyFirst date questions that reveal true alignment (not small talk)How to slow down, communicate clearly, and date with real standards"Who you bring into your life is the biggest business deal you will ever make in your life—for your finances, your health, your quality of life. If you don't do your due diligence and talk this through and figure out who each other are and slow the roll, you will repeat patterns of picking the wrong person."- Coach DarCONNECT WITH COACH DAR:Coach Dar is a world-class mental skills coach who works with professional athletes, executives, and high performers navigating pressure, identity, and resilience. With a background as an occupational therapist specializing in neuroscience and neuropsych, Coach Dar brings a unique approach to mindset work—helping people go from where they are to where they want to be through the power of their mind and human behavior. She's the author of The Art of Bouncing Back and speaks around the country on confidence, communication, and human connection.Coach Dar's Instagram: @thecoachdarCoach Dar's WebsiteOrder your copy of The Art of Bouncing Back right here!CONNECT WITH MADDEN:Madden's Instagram: ⁠@maddenzappa⁠STAY UP TO DATE WITH WE'RE DATING THE SAME GUY:We NOW have an Instagram. Follow us over at ⁠@datedifferentlyco⁠Submit YOUR dating stories and questions: ⁠Date Differently Diaries (completely anonymous)⁠✨As always, we do not gatekeep how to date smarter. If this episode moved you or taught you something new, think it would be beneficial for others to hear, please take a moment to follow, leave a review, and SHARE! Pass this episode along to someone who would love it too or head on over Instagram to share the most recent episode.

Are you feeling the weight of fertility pressure every time you swipe on a dating app? You're not alone. Research shows that 72% of Gen Z women experience age-related fertility anxiety—many by age 23—and nearly half feel pressured to have children before 30. But what if that panic is actually preventing you from making the best decisions for your future?In this deeply honest conversation, I sit down with Dr. Lucky Sekhon, double board-certified OBGYN, reproductive endocrinologist, and author of The Lucky Egg, to unpack the intersection of fertility, dating, and modern womanhood. Dr. Lucky is not just an expert—she's been through it herself as both a fertility doctor and an IVF patient who relied on her own frozen embryos to have her second child.We're breaking down the fertility myths that keep us up at night, exploring when and how to have "the conversation" with partners, and discussing why egg freezing has become less about desperation and more about empowerment. Dr. Lucky explains why understanding your body isn't just about biology—it's about choosing partners from a place of confidence instead of fear.Whether you're 28 or 38, single or partnered, unsure about kids or absolutely certain, this episode offers the honest, pressure-free information you've been craving. Because the truth? Your fertility story is yours to write—and the right partner will respect that.WHAT YOU'LL LEARN:How fertility anxiety impacts modern dating and relationship decisionsWhy egg freezing has shifted from desperation to empowerment for women in their 20s and 30sThe biological realities of egg quality and the biological clock—without the panicWhy male fertility matters just as much (50% of infertility is male factor!)When and how to have fertility conversations with partners- Red flags vs. green flags: how your partner shows up during these discussions"Fertility challenges are one of the biggest things that differentiate couples in good relationships from those who don't necessarily have a strong foundation. Who you choose as a partner is so important. Never make that decision out of fear or desperation."- Dr. LuckyCONNECT WITH DR. LUCKY:Dr. Lucky Sekhon is a double board-certified OBGYN and reproductive endocrinologist practicing at RMA of New York, one of the largest fertility clinics in the country. As both a fertility doctor and former IVF patient herself, Dr. Lucky brings unique insight to the intersection of reproductive health, modern dating, and women's empowerment.After successfully using her own frozen embryos to overcome secondary infertility at age 38, Dr. Lucky became a passionate advocate for accessible fertility education. She provides free resources through her blog, The Lucky Egg, and has built a thriving online community on Instagram and TikTok.Her newly released book, The Lucky Egg, is being hailed as "the fertility Bible"—the most comprehensive resource available for anyone navigating fertility questions, from those just beginning to think about family planning to those deep in treatment. Dr. Lucky's mission is simple: close the knowledge gap and help people make informed decisions about their reproductive futures without fear or desperation.Dr. Lucky's Instagram: @lucky.sekhonDr Lucky Sekhon Double Board Certified REI & OBGYN at RMA of New York ORDER YOUR COPY OF THE LUCKY EGG TODAY!CONNECT WITH MADDEN:Madden's Instagram: ⁠@maddenzappa⁠STAY UP TO DATE WITH WE'RE DATING THE SAME GUY:We NOW have an Instagram. Follow us over at ⁠@datedifferentlyco⁠Submit YOUR dating stories and questions: ⁠Date Differently Diaries (completely anonymous)⁠✨As always, we do not gatekeep how to date smarter. If this episode moved you or taught you something new, think it would be beneficial for others to hear, please take a moment to follow, leave a review, and SHARE! Pass this episode along to someone who would love it too or head on over Instagram to share the most recent episode.

What if your most painful breakup was actually a portal to your most empowered self?In this deeply vulnerable solo episode, Madden shares the story of the breakup that changed everything - not because it was her longest relationship or most painful ending, but because it became the catalyst that launched this very podcast and her return to coaching.This episode isn't just about healing after heartbreak. It's about recognizing when you've been ignoring your intuition, identifying where you've been playing small, and learning to channel the pain of loss into fuel for your biggest expansion.WHAT YOU'LL LEARN:How to recognize when your intuition is speaking (even when you don't want to listen)The exact moment she knew this relationship wasn't aligned - and why she stayed anywayHow to identify where you're compromising your goals and dreams for a relationshipHer 5-step framework for turning breakup pain into personal expansionWhy some relationships are meant to be catalysts, not foreverHow to use heartbreak as fuel instead of letting it keep you stuck"We can get stuck in mourning the breakup. But what if that energy is actually the energy you could use to rebuild yourself? What if you used it as momentum instead? You get to choose the meaning of the hurt. The hurt can either take you in a loop of stories that bring you down, or you can use that hurt to fuel you forward."- Madden ZappaCONNECT WITH MADDEN:Madden's Instagram: ⁠@maddenzappa⁠STAY UP TO DATE WITH WE'RE DATING THE SAME GUY:We NOW have an Instagram. Follow us over at ⁠@datedifferentlyco⁠Submit YOUR dating stories and questions: ⁠Date Differently Diaries (completely anonymous)⁠✨As always, we do not gatekeep how to date smarter. If this episode moved you or taught you something new, think it would be beneficial for others to hear, please take a moment to follow, leave a review, and SHARE! Pass this episode along to someone who would love it too or head on over Instagram to share the most recent episode.

Dating in 2025 is exhausting. If you're feeling burnt out, frustrated by ghosting, or questioning whether good people even exist anymore, this episode is for you.In this raw, filter-off solo episode, I'm taking the dating coach hat completely off and sharing my honest experience as someone actively dating in the modern landscape. With 79% of millennials and Gen Z reporting dating app burnout, you're not alone in feeling like modern dating is a mess—because it absolutely is.I'm getting real about the challenges we're all facing: profiles that give you nothing to work with, the waiting game after matching, the normalization of ghosting (which 91% of daters consider the worst trend in modern dating) and the frustration of people saying one thing while their actions show something completely different.But here's what matters most: even with all these frustrations, I still have amazing dates. I still meet wonderful people. And I still believe you can date from a grounded, optimistic place—without losing yourself in the chaos.WHAT YOU'LL LEARN:Why modern dating feels like a parking lot after a blizzard (and it's not just you)The real impact of dating apps on connection and communicationHow to protect your peace when someone's behavior has nothing to do with youWhy pacing your energy in early dating changes everythingHow to use your past dating wins to stay motivatedThe power of knowing your "why" for datingPractical ways to stay grounded without becoming jaded"The behavior you're receiving from other people that can make dating really challenging has nothing to do with you. The moment you're able to disconnect your worth or your value from the situation, the easier it is to be like, okay, yeah, that sucked, but to also move on."- Madden ZappaCONNECT WITH MADDEN:Madden's Instagram: ⁠@maddenzappa⁠STAY UP TO DATE WITH WE'RE DATING THE SAME GUY:We NOW have an Instagram. Follow us over at ⁠@datedifferentlyco⁠Submit YOUR dating stories and questions: ⁠Date Differently Diaries (completely anonymous)⁠✨As always, we do not gatekeep how to date smarter. If this episode moved you or taught you something new, think it would be beneficial for others to hear, please take a moment to follow, leave a review, and SHARE! Pass this episode along to someone who would love it too or head on over Instagram to share the most recent episode.

Feeling burned out from dating apps? You're not alone—79% of users report dating app fatigue. In this episode, I sit down with Erika Ettin, founder of A Little Nudge and dating coach for 15 years, to break down exactly what makes online dating profiles stand out and how to actually convert matches into dates.Erika shares her "Name Your Five" framework for creating profiles that spark conversation, the biggest mistakes that quietly sabotage connection, and why successful people often struggle the most with modern dating. We dive into profile photo strategies, the art of first messages, texting between dates, and when to move from app to in-person.If you're swiping but not connecting, getting matches but not dates, or feeling like dating has become another exhausting chore, this conversation is full of practical insights that will shift how you approach online dating entirely.WHAT YOU'LL LEARN:The "Name Your Five" profile framework that creates message baitPhoto strategy: What your first three pictures need to showWhy "doing the work" doesn't entitle you to find someoneHow to text between dates without creating false intimacyThe green flags people overlook when chemistry isn't instantWhy your attitude toward dating apps determines your experienceWhen to go on a second date (hint: if you're curious for one more conversation)"Your trip to Europe is fleeting. Your potential partner, hopefully, is for a long time. So perhaps people should spend more time on their dating profile than planning vacation. You spent 10 hours planning your trip to Europe but only five minutes on your Hinge profile. That math doesn't add up."- Erika EttinCONNECT WITH ERIKA:Erika Ettin is the Founder of A Little Nudge, a consulting company that helps people navigate the world of online dating, from first click to first date. She is also the author of the book Love at First Site. Erika studied economics at Cornell University and received her MBA from Georgetown. She started A Little Nudge in 2011 (after a seven-year career as an economist). She is responsible for many relationships, marriages, and the confidence some people simply need to “get out there.” A Little Nudge has been featured in media around the country, including The New York Times, The Washington Post, NPR, CBS, and Ask Men, and she currently writes a weekly syndicated dating column.  Erika's Instagram: @alittlenudgeGET YOUR VERY OWN THE SKIN DEEP DECK RIGHT HERE!CONNECT WITH MADDEN:Madden's Instagram: ⁠@maddenzappa⁠STAY UP TO DATE WITH WE'RE DATING THE SAME GUY:We NOW have an Instagram. Follow us over at ⁠@datedifferentlyco⁠Submit YOUR dating stories and questions: ⁠Date Differently Diaries (completely anonymous)⁠✨As always, we do not gatekeep how to date smarter. If this episode moved you or taught you something new, think it would be beneficial for others to hear, please take a moment to follow, leave a review, and SHARE! Pass this episode along to someone who would love it too or head on over Instagram to share the most recent episode.

The holidays can bring up complicated feelings when you're single—but what if you stopped treating this season like something to survive and started owning it instead? In this solo episode, Madden gets raw and honest about navigating holiday gatherings without a partner, the unexpected clarity that can come from seasonal reflection, and why your relationship status has nothing to do with how fulfilled your life actually is.If you've ever felt the weight of being the only single person at a party, fielded awkward questions from well-meaning relatives, or caught yourself wishing for a plus-one—this episode is for you. Madden shares personal stories from recent holiday experiences and offers practical language for handling those inevitable "so, are you seeing anyone?" conversations with grace and confidence.This isn't about pretending you're fine when you're not. It's about understanding that you can simultaneously enjoy your life AND desire partnership. Both things can be true at once. And more importantly, your confidence doesn't come from having someone by your side—it comes from choosing yourself, even when it feels uncomfortable.WHAT YOU'LL LEARN:Navigating holiday gatherings as a single personFinding clarity about what you want in relationshipsHandling intrusive questions from family and friendsUnderstanding that fulfillment and desire for partnership can coexistBreaking out of hibernation mode during winterBuilding confidence through choosing yourselfEmotional maturity and sitting with uncomfortable feelingsThe difference between surviving and owning the holiday season"Your relationship status—whether you're single, you're dating, or the state of your current relationship—that is not the most important and most interesting thing about you. It never was. It never will be unless you're the one deciding that. You are so much more than whether or not you have a partner."- Madden ZappaCONNECT WITH MADDEN:Madden's Instagram: @maddenzappaSTAY UP TO DATE WITH WE'RE DATING THE SAME GUY:We NOW have an Instagram. Follow us over at @datedifferentlycoSubmit YOUR dating stories and questions: Date Differently Diaries (completely anonymous)✨As always, we do not gatekeep how to date smarter. If this episode moved you or taught you something new, think it would be beneficial for others to hear, please take a moment to follow, leave a review, and SHARE! Pass this episode along to someone who would love it too or head on over Instagram to share the most recent episode.

Anxious attachment isn't a life sentence—it's a pattern you can heal. In this transformative episode, internationally recognized relationship coach Trevor Hanson shares his journey from working at Tesla while trapped in toxic relationships to helping thousands break free from anxious attachment patterns.If you've ever felt like you're dating the same person repeatedly, sabotaging healthy relationships, or addicted to the highs and lows of chaotic love—this episode is your roadmap to change.WHAT YOU'LL LEARN:The real difference between anxious, avoidant, and secure attachment stylesWhy you keep attracting unavailable partners (and how to stop)The TEMPO Cycle framework for identifying and breaking your patternsHow to build genuine safety within yourself before seeking it in othersWhy healing while dating isn't just possible—it's powerfulThe emotion-logic gap and why knowing better doesn't equal doing better"There's an emotion-logic gap. There's a logical part of you that totally gets it in the front part of your brain. But then there's an emotional part of your brain that stores all your subconscious content. Too often we try to activate the front part of the brain to fix the emotional base brain. And it doesn't work. You literally aren't even turning on the right part of the brain to fix it. That's why you can learn all day long what a healthy pattern looks like and still get sucked into the same old stuff."- Trevor HansonCONNECT WITH TREVOR:Trevor is an internationally recognized coach dedicated to helping individuals and couples create secure, thriving relationships.After overcoming his own anxious attachment, breaking his jaw, ending a toxic relationship, and leaving a corporate career at Tesla, he found his purpose in helping others find their secure self.With a master’s degree in Marriage and Family Therapy and advanced training from some of the world’s top attachment experts, Trevor has helped thousands of clients around the globe. He’s been featured by the Gottman Institute and has spoken to audiences of over 10,000.As the founder of The Art of Healing, he teaches his signature Secure Self Method to help people step into emotional confidence and build the kinds of relationships that last.Trevor's Instagram: ⁠@theartofhealingbytrevor⁠⁠Trevor's Website⁠Free! Seminar ⁠From Anxious to Secure ⁠Join the⁠ Secure Self Club⁠ (Go from anxious to secure in 120 days!)CONNECT WITH MADDEN:Madden's Instagram: ⁠@maddenzappa⁠STAY UP TO DATE WITH WE'RE DATING THE SAME GUY:We NOW have an Instagram! Follow us over at ⁠@datedifferentlyco⁠Submit YOUR dating stories and questions: ⁠Date Differently Diaries (completely anonymous)⁠⭐As always, we do not gatekeep how to date smarter. If this episode moved you or taught you something new, think it would be beneficial for others to hear, please take a moment to follow, leave a review, and SHARE! Pass this episode along to someone who would love it too or head on over to Instagram to share the most recent episode!

Should couples combine finances after marriage? Financial therapist Lindsay Konchar shares expert advice on money conversations, avoiding financial infidelity, and building wealth together.In Part 2 of our conversation with financial therapist Lindsay Konchar, we dive deep into the money questions that come up when relationships get serious. From combining finances to navigating financial infidelity, this episode gives you practical tools for building a financial foundation that actually supports your relationship instead of stressing it out.What You'll Learn:The truth about combining finances in marriage (and why the "merge everything" advice might be wrong for you)How to have money conversations without triggering defensiveness or shameThe biggest financial conflicts couples face and how to navigate themHow to maintain financial equality when one partner out-earns the otherWhat financial infidelity really looks like and how to rebuild trustEssential money conversations to have before kids, mortgages, and major life decisionsHow to escape "keeping up with the Joneses" and define what YOU actually wantThe power of weekly money dates for thriving (not just surviving) financially"We are not just keeping up with the Joneses anymore. We are keeping up with everyone. Social media is a huge culprit of that. For anybody that's like, I don't give a shit what other people think about me - that's a huge red flag. Every single human being on planet Earth gives a shit about what other people are thinking about them. And they should. What that is all about is having a sense of belonging. You want to belong with your friends, your chosen family. That's okay. But you need to understand how your money is reflected in that."- Lindsey KoncharCONNECT WITH LINDSEY:Lindsey is your favorite financial therapist for women and couples, here to help you feel excited about money! (Yes, it's possible!) Money is more than just a math problem; there is always so much more to the equation. Merging behavioral therapy and financial education, Lindsey helps you live your dream life!Lindsey's Instagram: ⁠@financialtherapistlindsey⁠⁠Lindsey's Website⁠Join Financial Self-Care's GET OUT OF DEBT course ⁠WAITLIST⁠CONNECT WITH MADDEN:Madden's Instagram: ⁠@maddenzappa⁠STAY UP TO DATE WITH WE'RE DATING THE SAME GUYWe NOW have an Instagram! Follow us over at ⁠@datedifferentlyco⁠ Submit YOUR dating stories and questions: ⁠Date Differently Diaries (completely anonymous)⁠⭐ As always, we don’t gatekeep how to date smarter.If this moved you or taught you something new, take a moment to follow, leave a review, and pass this episode along to someone who would love it too.

Can money make or break your relationship? In Part 1 of this two-part series, financial therapist Lindsey Konchar reveals why financial compatibility matters just as much as emotional connection—and how to talk about money without the awkwardness.Discover why your money habits were formed by age 10, when to bring up finances while dating (hint: earlier than you think), and how to lead with vulnerability instead of interrogation. Lindsey shares the conversation starters that actually work, explains why confidence with money is the most attractive quality you can have, and breaks down what really matters when assessing financial compatibility.Whether you're single, casually dating, or getting serious with someone, this episode will change how you approach money conversations—and help you build stronger, more financially aligned relationships from the start.IN THIS EPISODE WE EXPLORE:- Your money habits are established by age 10 based on what you saw modeled- Financial therapy combines behavioral change with tactical money management- Confidence with your finances is more attractive than your income level- Lead money conversations with vulnerability, not interrogation- The best time to talk finances is dates 3-5, not on date 20- High earners often live paycheck-to-paycheck just like everyone else- Money dates create safe spaces for ongoing financial conversations"When you feel cool and confident and collected in your relationship with money, when you are at ease with your money, you carry that. You stand a little taller, your shoulders relax a little bit more because you know where your money is going. And that confidence is what now you are bringing to that relationship. That's what is so attractive for people."- Lindsey KoncharCONNECT WITH LINDSEY:Lindsey is your favorite financial therapist for women and couples, here to help you feel excited about money! (Yes, it's possible!) Money is more than just a math problem; there is always so much more to the equation. Merging behavioral therapy and financial education, Lindsey helps you live your dream life!Lindsey's Instagram: @financialtherapistlindseyLindsey's WebsiteJoin Financial Self-Care's GET OUT OF DEBT course WAITLISTCONNECT WITH MADDEN:Madden's Instagram: @maddenzappaSTAY UP TO DATE WITH WE'RE DATING THE SAME GUYWe NOW have an Instagram! Follow us over at @datedifferentlyco Submit YOUR dating stories and questions: Date Differently Diaries (completely anonymous)⭐ As always, we don’t gatekeep how to date smarter.If this moved you or taught you something new, take a moment to follow, leave a review, and pass this episode along to someone who would love it too.

More than 90 percent of Gen Z report feeling frustrated with dating apps, and 79 percent of college-age people say they don't use dating apps regularly. If you're exhausted by the swipe culture and ready to date differently, this episode is for you.Francesco Amati found his wife through Instagram—not by DMing strangers, but by creating intentional content about the love he wanted to attract. They dated long-distance between Canada and New Jersey for six months before getting married, and their relationship proves that conscious connection transcends physical proximity.This conversation explores how emotional intelligence, inner child healing, and spiritual alignment transform your dating life from the inside out. Francesco shares practical frameworks for assessing emotional compatibility, breaking toxic patterns, and becoming the version of yourself who can hold the relationship you desire.IN THIS EPISODE WE EXPLORE:How to assess emotional intelligence in early datingInner child healing techniques for secure attachmentWhy conflict should strengthen, not threaten, connectionQuestions that reveal true compatibilityThe difference between unconditional love and tolerating mistreatment"When I finally walked away from what wasn't good for me, I opened up space for what is good for me. This time, I'm not going to settle."- Francesco AmatiCONNECT WITH FRANCESCO:Francesco Amati is a spiritual teacher and conscious relationship mentor who helps people cultivate inner union and attract authentic partnership without dating apps. Following his spiritual awakening in 2012, Francesco has integrated lessons from marriage, divorce, and toxic relationships into a teaching practice that bridges ancient wisdom with modern dating challenges.Through his program, The Path to Sacred Union, Francesco guides individuals to heal attachment wounds, develop emotional intelligence, and align with their highest self. His approach emphasizes that your external reality reflects your internal state—meaning the relationship you attract is the vibrational match of who you're being, not who you're performing to be.Francesco's Instagram: @_francesco.amati_CONNECT WITH MADDEN:Madden's Instagram: @maddenzappa

If you've ever gone through a breakup that left you gasping for air weeks or months later—refreshing their profile, replaying every moment, wondering what went wrong—this episode is for you.In today's conversation, host Madden sits down with Cole Zesiger, breakup and relationship coach and author of Exes and No's: The Breakup Advice You Don't Want to Hear, to dive deep into how we can truly move from heartbreak to healing. Cole has helped thousands of people rebuild after love loss, blending psychology, attachment theory, and practical tools to guide them back to peace and power.EPISODE TIMELINE:00:00 - Introduction: Why This Episode is For You02:15 - Meet Cole Zessiger: From Divorce to Helping Thousands04:30 - The Two Mindsets That Keep You Stuck Post-Breakup07:45 - Mourning the Person AND the Future You Imagined10:20 - Step One: The Complete Detox From Your Ex13:40 - Cole's Credit Card Confession: The Trap of Staying Connected16:15 - Understanding How Your Brain Wires Memories of Your Ex19:30 - Step Two: Building a Life You Actually Like23:10 - The Two Ways to Be Happy After a Breakup26:45 - Why Helping Others Accelerates Your Healing30:20 - Navigating Trust, Betrayal, and Forgiveness34:50 - The Lemon Cart Analogy: Why Forgiveness is a Gift to Yourself37:15 - Attachment Styles Explained: Secure, Anxious, Avoidant & Disorganized41:00 - The Raft Metaphor: Three Ways to Heal Your Attachment Style44:30 - How to Date Without Losing Yourself in the Relationship47:20 - Finding Your Divine Center Beyond Your Partner49:10 - The Pattern That Keeps People Stuck in the Same Relationship Cycles50:35 - The Power of Correct Levels of Accountability51:20 - Final Advice: Be Curious About Your FutureIN THIS EPISODE WE EXPLORE:The two most common mindsets that keep people stuck post-breakupWhat a real detox from your ex looks like (hint: it's more than just no contact)Why forgiveness isn't letting them off the hook—it's setting yourself freeHow to understand your attachment style and stop repeating the same dating patternsThe "raft metaphor" for building emotional stability in relationshipsWhy helping others is actually one of the fastest ways to heal yourselfHow to know if you're truly healing or just stuck in the same cycle"When your present isn't happy, when there's nothing to look forward to and nothing to be happy about in the moment, your brain is just going to want to stay in the past. So we need to start building things in the moment, and that can start as small as possible—brushing your teeth or making your bed. And then you build out from there."- Cole ZesigerCONNECT WITH COLE:Cole Zesiger is a breakup and relationship coach who helps people navigate heartbreak and rebuild their lives after love loss. After getting divorced at 23 and jumping into another failed relationship, Cole embarked on a journey to understand breakups, attachment theory, and what it really takes to heal.Over the past three years, he's built a community of 750,000+ followers across TikTok, Instagram, and YouTube, creating content that blends psychology, vulnerability, and practical tools. Cole is the author of Exes and No's: The Breakup Advice You Don't Want to Hear, a must-read guide for anyone ready to stop repeating heartbreak cycles.Outside of coaching, Cole is married to his wife Jocelyn, has a one-year-old daughter, and enjoys playing guitar, listening to rock music, and riding his dirt bike and Harley.Cole's Instagram: @coachcolezesigerCole's TikTokPreorder Ex's and No's: https://coachcolezesiger.com/exsandnosConnect with Madden:Madden's Instagram: @maddenzappaImportant Podcast Links:Submit YOUR dating stories and questions: Date Differently Diaries (completely anonymous)

What if the endless healing work you're doing is actually keeping you stuck? In this raw and transformative conversation, sexual liberation coach Sammy Schultz shares her journey from numbing sexual trauma with alcohol to becoming the strong woman she needed growing up—and how that completely changed the way she dates.EPISODE TIMELINE:00:00 - Introduction & Welcome03:11 - Sammy's Background & Journey Begins06:22 - From Sexual Trauma to Sexual Liberation10:56 - Why YouTube Tried to Censor Her Content13:41 - Getting Stuck in Healing Mode17:31 - The Pattern of "If I Were More Healed, I'd Be Worthy"21:26 - Why Healing Work Didn't Change Sammy's Dating Life24:51 - Shifting from "I'm Broken" to "I'm Whole"28:21 - The Intention Behind Healing vs. Living31:46 - Becoming the Woman You Needed Growing Up35:31 - From Auditioning to Being the Chooser39:26 - Centering Yourself Instead of Begging the Universe43:01 - How Sexual Trauma Impacts Dating & Relationships47:36 - Breaking Generational Trauma Cycles51:21 - Recognizing What True Safety Actually Feels Like54:56 - Dating from Your Inner Mama Bear (Not Your Inner Little Girl)57:41 - How to Feel Safe Speaking What You Want1:00:31 - Worshiping the "Bitchy" Version of Yourself1:02:26 - Final Advice: Be the Center of Your Own UniverseIN THIS EPISODE WE EXPLORE:Why years of healing work doesn't always translate to better dating experiencesHow to shift from auditioning for love to becoming the chooserSetting powerful boundaries without fear of being perceived as "too much"Dating from your inner mama bear instead of your wounded inner childThe complete dating rulebook that changed everything"Instead of begging an external universe to give you what only you can give you, you have to become the center of your universe. You become the universe and you give it to yourself. You stop asking for things and you just give it to yourself. Rather than going out and being like 'maybe someone will choose me,' it's 'let me see if this place, this person, is amazing enough for me.'"- Sammy SchultzCONNECT WITH SAMMY:Sammy Schultz is a sexual liberation coach who helps women become the strong woman they needed when they were growing up. After spending years numbing sexual trauma with alcohol and facing a life-threatening health experience, Sammy got sober and began her healing journey—which eventually evolved into teaching women how to stop healing and start living.Ten years ago, Sammy started a YouTube channel to share her journey of sexual healing, even after the platform threatened to delete her content. Since then, she's helped countless women transform their relationship with their bodies, their sensuality, and their worthiness in love and money. Sammy specializes in combining neuroscience and sensuality to help women break free from people-pleasing patterns, set powerful boundaries, and date from a place of wholeness rather than fixing themselves.Her approach is bold, unapologetic, and refreshingly honest—teaching women that the "bitchy," "demanding" version of themselves isn't something to apologize for, but something to worship.Sammy's Instagram: @sammybeloveCONNECT WITH MADDEN:Madden's Instagram: @maddenzappaIMPORTANT PODCAST LINKS:Submit YOUR dating stories and questions: Date Differently Diaries (completely anonymous

What if the quiet habit shaping men's views on sex, intimacy, and connection is something almost nobody talks about in dating? In this raw, eye-opening conversation, Jeremy Lipkowitz uncovers how porn actually rewires the brain, impacts real-world intimacy, and shows up in the relationships we're trying to build. This isn't about judgment. It's about awareness, accountability, and understanding what's really happening beneath the surface.EPISODE TIMELINE:00:00 - Introduction: Why We Need to Talk About Porn Addiction03:15 - Meet Jeremy Lipkowitz: From Buddhist Monk to Porn Addiction Recovery Coach06:42 - The Prevalence of Porn Use: It's Way More Common Than You Think09:18 - Why This Topic Is So Hard to Talk About: Sexual Shame & Secrecy12:35 - How Early Exposure Shapes Views on Intimacy & Sexuality16:20 - The Neuroscience of Addiction: Dopamine, Craving & Escalation22:47 - How Porn Addiction Impacts Relationships: Expectations, Performance & Trust29:34 - The Loneliness Epidemic & Shifting Gender Dynamics32:16 - Beyond Relationships: How Porn Impacts Focus, Satisfaction & Self-Worth36:05 - The Dark Ethics of the Porn Industry: Trafficking, Consent & Exploitation39:28 - Breaking Free: Community, Mindfulness & Compassionate Accountability43:12 - Final Advice: Dating Differently with Wisdom & CompassionIN THIS EPISODE WE EXPLORE:How early porn exposure shapes men's expectations of sex and intimacyThe neuroscience of addiction: why dopamine drives compulsive behavior even when pleasure is goneHow porn use creates unrealistic expectations, performance anxiety, and erectile dysfunctionThe connection between porn addiction, loneliness, and fear of rejectionWhy secrecy and shame erode trust in relationshipsThe dark ethics of the porn industry that most users don't realize they're supportingHow to break free: building community, practicing mindfulness, and developing healthier coping mechanismsThe balance of wisdom and compassion needed to create lasting change"Every single addiction is about escaping unpleasant emotions, running away. In order to overcome addiction at the root source—not just blocking it or being sober for a little bit, but actually overcoming it and uprooting the addiction—you have to start getting skillful with working with your emotions. You have to develop healthier coping mechanisms for when a strong emotion comes. So much of porn addiction is rooted in boredom. Guys are just bored. They don't know what to do with themselves."- Jeremy LipkowitzCONNECT WITH JEREMY:Jeremy Lipkowitz is a former Buddhist monk, meditation teacher, and ICF-certified executive coach who helps high-achieving men break free from compulsive behaviors—especially porn addiction—and build lives of integrity, discipline, and deep fulfillment. With over 13 years of meditation experience and hundreds of days spent in silent retreat, Jeremy blends ancient wisdom with cutting-edge science to guide individuals toward emotional resilience and personal freedom.Jeremy left higher academia after confronting his own struggles with addiction, shame, and self-judgment. A brief period of monastic training in Myanmar deepened his mindfulness practice and marked the start of a lifelong commitment to personal growth and service.As the founder of Unhooked Academy and host of the Unhooked Podcast, Jeremy is a leading voice in destigmatizing porn addiction and educating the public on effective, science-based recovery strategies. His work helps men overcome shame, understand the neuroscience of addiction, and create lasting transformation through mindfulness, emotional intelligence, and habit change.Jeremy's Instagram: @jeremylipkowitzCONNECT WITH MADDEN:Madden's Instagram: ⁠@maddenzappa⁠IMPORTANT PODCAST LINKS:Submit YOUR dating stories and question: ⁠⁠Date Differently Diaries (completely anonymous)⁠⁠Monthly Date Giveaways: ⁠⁠Date Differently Drop

What if the key to lasting love isn't chemistry or compatibility—but conscious engineering?In this episode, Madden sits down with relationship coach Scott Wild, whose background as a software engineer gives him a radically different lens on relationships. Scott helps us understand how to build partnerships that don't just survive—they actually thrive through intentional design.EPISODE TIMELINE:00:00 - Introduction: Why this episode is for everyone—single or partnered02:15 - Meet Scott Wild: From software engineering to relationship coaching05:30 - The shift from control to trust in relationships08:45 - Learning relational skills through authentic relating12:20 - Being direct without being "bitchy"—holding boundaries without fire16:40 - Using chess strategy to improve relationship patterns19:30 - Why sustainability matters from day one of dating23:15 - The "it's fine" trap and the recipe for resentment27:45 - Doing things for yourself vs. for your partner31:20 - Conscious conversations and meta-awareness in relationships35:10 - Codependency vs. having alternative paths38:50 - What "opt-in" relationships really mean42:30 - Defining intimacy as revealing (heart, hurt, or play)46:15 - Sovereignty and the balance with intimacy48:40 - The pattern of psychologizing your partner50:15 - Final advice: Drop the impressing energy and notice where you need somethingIN THIS EPISODE WE EXPLORE:Why controlling relationships come from anxiety (and how to shift from control to trust)The fine line between being direct and being "bitchy"—and how anger signals you've already crossed your boundaryWhy "it's fine" is actually a red flag for future resentmentHow to avoid codependency by always having an alternative pathWhat it means to build an "opt-in" relationship (and why labels can create false security)The difference between intimacy and vulnerability—and how to bring the right amount of eachWhy sovereignty (being good on your own) is the foundation of secure attachmentThe pattern of "psychologizing" your partner—and why it's actually about control, not caringHow to date sustainably from the very beginning"Intimacy is the revealing of my heart, my hurt, or my play. That's the thing that people actually love—you want to feel someone playing, you want to feel what's true for somebody. Pure intimacy is like a gift, just an offering." - Scott WildCONNECT WITH SCOTT:Scott Wild is a relationship coach who helps people build strong, lasting partnerships filled with trust and connection. He has expressed as a software engineer, manager, professional athlete, facilitator, and a decade as a practitioner of ethical polyamory, giving him a diverse perspective to share. Scott has spent years guiding people through relational intelligence practices and supporting them in creating healthier, more fulfilling romantic lives. He lives in Austin, Texas with his wife and two young children.Scott's Instagram: @scottsolowildFree Discovery Call to improve your relationship: scottsolowild.comCONNECT WITH MADDEN:Madden's Instagram: @maddenzappaIMPORTANT PODCAST LINKS:Submit YOUR dating stories and question: ⁠Date Differently Diaries (completely anonymous)⁠Monthly Date Giveaways: ⁠Date Differently Drop

It's so easy to get swept away in early dating when you're texting nonstop and spending all your free time together, slowly drifting from friends and hobbies . But what if dating could ADD to your life instead of becoming your whole life?Welcome to Season 2 of We're Dating the Same Guy!After a wild weekend in Vegas that felt like a movie scene, Madden shares how to not get lost in and swept away by your dating experiences: connecting to your purpose.After a trip to Vegas—accidentally booking an RV, electric car anxiety, sketchy neighborhoods, desert windstorms, and an unexpected romantic encounter that could've been straight out of a film. But instead of getting swept away into fantasy and daydreaming like Madden would have in the past, she stayed grounded. Listen to find out how.EPISODE TIMELINE:00:00 - Welcome to Season 2!02:45 - The Vegas Trip Begins05:20 - RV Disaster & Electric Car Anxiety08:15 - When Dating Takes Over Your Life12:30 - The Lantern Festival Moment15:40 - Finding Your Purpose: The 3 Questions19:25 - Why Purpose is Your Anchor22:50 - The Vegas Movie Moment26:35 - Staying Grounded vs Getting Swept Away30:15 - What's New: Date Differently Diaries32:20 - The Date Differently DropIN THIS EPISODE WE EXPLORE:Why your purpose is your anchor in datingThe 3 questions that reveal what truly lights you upHow Madden stayed grounded during a romantic Vegas moment"Your purpose reminds you that your life does not pause just because someone new is entering it. Dating is meant to add to your life, but it's not meant to become your whole life."- Madden ZappaCONNECT WITH MADDEN:Madden Zappa is a Minneapolis based dating coach and host of "We're Dating the Same Guy," a podcast helping people break free from repeating dating patterns. Through expert conversations and real-life stories, Madden empowers listeners to date more intentionally, understand their attachment styles, and build relationships aligned with their authentic selves.MADDEN'S INSTAGRAM: @maddenzappaIMPORTANT PODCAST LINKS:Submit YOUR dating stories and question: Date Differently Diaries (completely anonymous)Monthly Date Giveaways: Date Differently Drop

In the season 1 finale of We're Dating the Same Guy, host Madden sits down with fellow podcaster Alexis to break down the movie "The Materialist" and what it reveals about modern dating patterns, attachment styles, and the choice between financial security and emotional connection.EPISODE TIMELINE:00:00 - Season 1 reflection and podcast journey05:30 - The Materialist movie discussion begins12:45 - Dating vs Love - the fundamental difference18:20 - Attachment styles and modern dating25:10 - Red flags and immediate deal-breakers32:40 - The income gap conversation45:15 - Lucy's ultimate choice and what it means52:30 - Personal dating insights and growthIN THIS EPISODE WE EXPLORE:The Materialist movie analysis with Dakota Johnson, Pedro Pascal, and Chris EvansDating multiple people ethically and what that teaches youFeminine energy vs masculine energy in relationshipsWhy some people excel at dating but struggle with loveRed flags, green flags, and navigating modern dating appsMarriage as partnership vs business transactionIncome gaps in relationships and how to navigate them successfullyCONNECT WITH ALEXIS:Alexis is a fellow Minneapolis Podcaster and host of Let if Flow PodcastAlexis's Instagram: @destinationalexisLet it Flow PodcastCONNECT WITH MADDEN: Madden is a dating coach and host of "We're Dating the Same Guy" podcast, helping individuals identify and break destructive dating patterns. With expertise in attachment theory, feminine energy, and modern relationship dynamics, she creates a safe space for exploring the deeper psychology behind our romantic choices. Through vulnerable conversations and expert guests, Madden guides listeners toward more secure, authentic relationships.Madden's Instagram: @maddenzappa

Tired of feeling anxious and insecure in your relationships? In today's episode, relationship coach and spiritual guide Kevin Crenshaw reveals why your dating patterns might be rooted in a deeper spiritual search - and how cultivating a relationship with God can transform the way you love.Kevin shares his raw journey from being a chronic people pleaser whose first three relationships ended in betrayal, to finding spiritual security that completely shifted his approach to love. We explore how anxious attachment often masks a search for the divine, why your "ideal partner" list might actually be describing God, and practical ways to build genuine spiritual connection.EPISODE TIMELINE:00:00 - Introduction to Kevin Crenshaw and spiritual dating03:45 - Kevin's journey from people pleaser to spiritual security08:30 - The near-death experience that changed everything12:15 - Finding God after hitting rock bottom18:20 - How anxious attachment shows up in relationships24:10 - The difference between seeking completion vs communion in love29:45 - Why your "dream man list" might actually be describing God35:20 - Building a relationship with God: Prayer as conversation42:10 - Overcoming religious hurt and finding authentic faith47:30 - Three ways to start dating differently52:00 - Final thoughts on purpose and spiritual relationshipsIN THIS EPISODE WE EXPLORE:How anxious attachment shows up as searching for God in relationshipsThe difference between horizontal change and vertical spiritual evolutionWhy surrender, not willpower, creates lasting transformationBuilding a real relationship with God through prayer and communityHealing from religious hurt while staying open to spiritualityThree practical shifts to start dating from a place of spiritual security"People hurt you, not God. Build your own relationship. Look for people producing spiritual fruit - love, joy, peace, patience, kindness. Not just moments of it, but supernatural, consistent fruit that surprises you." - Kevin CrenshawCONNECT WITH KEVIN:Kevin Crenshaw is a relationship coach, spiritual guide, and author who has spent over a decade helping people transform their love lives through healing anxious attachment and building spiritual security. After his own journey from people-pleasing codependency to authentic spiritual connection, Kevin now guides thousands in understanding how their relationship with God directly impacts their human relationships. His upcoming book "Perspectives" (releasing September 2025) is a collection of poetic reflections mapping his decade-long journey toward freedom, healing, and divine connection.Kevin's Instagram: @the.heart.guyJoin the Waitlist for Kevin's new book PerspectivesSTAY CONNECTED WITH MADDEN:Madden's Instagram: @maddenzappa

Are you tired of dating emotionally unavailable men? In this vulnerable conversation, sex and relationship therapist Joe Molinari breaks down why so many men struggle with emotional availability and what you can do about it.Joe shares his personal journey from emotional avoidance to vulnerability, explaining how childhood conditioning creates patterns that pull men away from connection. We explore attachment styles, the dangerous appeal of "twin flame" relationships, and practical steps both men and women can take to create more secure relationships.Whether you're trying to understand the men you're dating or working on your own emotional availability, this episode offers hope and practical tools for creating the secure love you deserve.EPISODE TIMELINE:03:16 - Joe's background and path to therapy04:44 - What "home" really means in relationships 08:24 - How attachment styles develop over time12:38 - Why men are taught not to connect16:24 - Tangible steps to become emotionally available24:43 - Inside Joe's men's therapy group29:59 - How attachment influences sexuality38:29 - The truth about secure people in dating44:43 - Twin flames: Spiritual connection or toxic pattern?IN THIS EPISODE WE EXPLORE:Why traditional masculinity teaches men to avoid connectionHow attachment styles show up in dating and sexualityThe difference between thinking and feeling in relationshipsRed flags in "twin flame" dynamics that keep you stuckPractical steps to become more emotionally availableHow men's therapy groups are changing emotional patterns"The best thing you can do is learn more to be present to yourself. Learn to connect to yourself emotionally, connect to yourself in a very present embodied way. That is a path towards finding your own security within yourself. And that's the best first step for also meeting other people who are an authentic connection for you." - Joe MolinariCONNECT WITH JOE:Joe Molinari is a psychotherapist and coach specializing in sex, trauma, and relationships. Whether working with individuals, couples, or groups, Joe invites his clients to pursue a path toward more presence, authenticity, and a sense of aliveness. Joe brings a deep curiosity about how we connect, overcome, and grow. His approach is collaborative, sex-positive, and full of heart (and usually a bit of humor too). He’s passionate about helping people move from shame and stuckness to connection, pleasure, and a sense of freedom. Whether it’s talking about intimacy, healing old wounds, or finding more ease in everyday life, Joe creates space for the whole messy, beautiful human experience.Joe's Instagram: @sextherapyjoeJoe's WebsiteSTAY CONNECTED WITH MADDEN:Madden's Instagram: @maddenzappa

Would you go on a first date without alcohol? 39% of singles now say yes—and it's changing everything about modern dating. In this raw conversation, Alex Zauner (founder of Lucille's alcohol-free experiences and 11 years sober) reveals why removing liquid courage creates deeper connections and better relationships.EPISODE TIMELINE:00:00 - Opening: The first date question that changes everything05:12 - Alex's story: From college binge drinking to 11 years sober12:45 - The breaking point: Hospital wake-up call and commitment to change18:30 - Dating sober: Navigating apps, anxiety, and authenticity25:15 - Meeting her husband while sober and what that taught her32:00 - Mixed relationships: When your partner drinks and you don't39:20 - Why Gen Z is choosing alcohol-free lifestyles45:10 - Practical sober date ideas that create real connection50:00 - Final advice: Leading with authenticity in datingIN THIS EPISODE WE EXPLORE:Why alcohol-free dating creates deeper, more authentic connectionsPractical tools for managing first-date anxiety without drinkingCreative sober date ideas that build genuine chemistryHow to communicate your sober lifestyle in datingNavigating mixed relationships (sober + drinking partners)Why younger generations are choosing alcohol-free lifestylesBuilding confidence and social skills through sober dating"Sober dating is not just going to help you in that relationship—it's going to genuinely help you to build your social skills and confidence in every aspect of your life. You're going to remember all the details, the jokes, your personality is going to shine through, and their personality is going to shine through." - Alex ZaunerCONNECT WITH ALEX:Alex's Instagram: @alexandrazaunerLucille's BottleshopLucille's Instagram: @lucillesbottleshopCONNECT WITH MADDEN:Madden's Instagram: @maddenzappa

Dave from Love is Blind Minneapolis gets real about what happens when the cameras stop rolling. In this raw conversation, we dive into vulnerability in dating, trusting your intuition, and how reality TV changed his approach to relationships forever. If you've ever wondered what it's like to fall in love on national television and then learn even more about yourself in the process, this episode gives you a window into all of it.EPISODE TIMELINE:00:00 - Introduction: Reality TV obsession & Dave's controversial Love is Blind journey04:15 - What Dave wishes everyone knew about his Love is Blind experience09:30 - The bold pod question that went viral: "What's wrong with you?"14:20 - Most challenging parts of the Love is Blind experiment19:45 - Why vulnerability is easier when you can't see someone24:30 - Trusting your intuition vs. listening to family opinions29:15 - Dave's dating patterns: superficial attraction & dating in reverse34:45 - What being ready for love actually looks like now39:30 - Final advice: Know yourself to date differentlyIN THIS EPISODE WE EXPLORE:What really happened behind the scenes in Season 8 Love is Blind AFTER the cameras stopped recordingThe dating backwards pattern that's keeping you singleVulnerability depth in datingFamily opinions vs. trusting your own intuition in relationshipsWhat being truly ready for love actually looks like (vs. societal pressure)"You can't really be yourself if you don't know who you are. You shouldn't date anyone with the intention of getting married or having a long-term future if you don't fully know yourself well enough." - David BettenburgCONNECT WITH DAVE:David Bettenburg is a 33-year-old Minneapolis native who appeared on Love is Blind Season 8. Originally working in medical device sales (specifically aesthetic procedures), he now works as an Account Executive for legal solutions. Dave's journey on Love is Blind became controversial due to family interference and outside gossip affecting his relationship with Lauren O'Brien. Post-show, he's focused on self-reflection, therapy, and understanding his dating patterns to build healthier relationships.David's Instagram: @davidbettenburgSTAY CONNECTED WITH MADDEN: Madden's Instagram: @maddenzappa

Ever wonder why you keep dating the same type of person? Brazilian brain health coach Fabiana breaks down the neuroscience behind dating patterns and reveals how your brain creates the relationship cycles you find yourself stuck in.EPISODE TIMELINE:3:18 - Meet Fabiana: From Ipanema Beach to brain coaching8:45 - Your brain on patterns: The survival machine explained15:20 - Breaking down the amygdala hijack in relationships22:10 - The cortisol-disease connection you need to know28:30 - Reframing protective thoughts (not negative ones)35:45 - Why people behave badly (spoiler: they feel threatened)42:00 - The stories we tell ourselves about dating48:15 - Values alignment: The non-negotiable foundation55:30 - Expectations vs. reality in relationships62:45 - The 4-step communication framework for conflictIN THIS EPISODE WE EXPLORE:How your amygdala and hippocampus control your dating choicesWhy 80% of your thoughts are protective (not negative)The 4-question method to reframe toxic thought patternsHow to break the cycle of choosing familiar but unhealthy partnersWhy authenticity is non-negotiable in lasting relationshipsCommunication strategies that actually work (backed by brain science)"There is no way you will find a partner who loves you if you're not being 100% your authentic self. Because they're going to fall for what you're showing, not for who you are. If you are acting to gain someone's love, you're not gaining their love—your character is gaining their love." - FabianaCONNECT WITH FABIANABrazilian-born brain health coach and viral Instagram creator (@fashionbyfabiana, 150K+ followers) who transforms women's relationship with aging and self-acceptance. Former corporate executive turned certified neuroscience coach, Fabiana combines 30 years of business experience with brain-based coaching to help women break limiting patterns and embrace authentic living. Her content on aging gracefully has reached over 20 million views, sparking global conversations about beauty standards and self-worth.Fabiana's Instagram: @fashionbyfabianaBrain Health Coaching WebsiteSTAY CONNECTED WITH MADDENMadden's Instagram: @maddenzappa

What happens when a man realizes he's the guy women don't want to date and completely transforms himself? In this raw conversation, dating and embodiment coach Tyler shares his journey from being disconnected and sabotaging intimacy to helping high-value women date differently.EPISODE TIMELINE:00:00 - Introduction: When men realize they're the problem04:15 - Tyler's transformation story: From feminine to masculine energy09:30 - Macro vs micro perspective in dating14:20 - The three pillars: Mindset, energetics, strategy19:45 - Common limiting beliefs that keep women stuck26:15 - Masculine vs feminine energy: What it really means32:40 - Strategic dating: Red flags and verification methods38:20 - The ultimate relationship question: Would I want my child to be like them?41:35 - Reflection on personal growth over 5 years44:15 - Final advice: Changing thoughts, feelings, and actionsIN THIS EPISODE WE EXPLORE:The macro vs micro approach to dating patternsHow to date from a regulated nervous systemThe difference between masculine and feminine energy in datingStrategic tools for identifying red flags earlyWhy "if it's meant to happen, it will" keeps you stuckThe three pillars: mindset, energetics, and strategy"The version of you that you are today has created the life that you live right now. And so if you realize that, you also realize that by becoming more of who you are, you can change the reality that you're living right now." - TylerCONNECT WITH TYLER:Tyler is a dating and embodiment coach specializing in helping high-value women over 30 create aligned relationships. After struggling with his own relationship patterns and being the kind of man women didn't want to date, Tyler transformed himself through masculine work, men's groups, and deep personal development. He now combines strategic dating methods with energetic and mindset work, helping clients break cycles and attract conscious partnerships. Tyler's Instagram: @tylerduddingSTAY CONNECTED WITH MADDENMadden's Instagram: @maddenzappa

Are you calling everything a red flag in dating? Dating coach and therapist Michelle O'Connell joins host Madden to decode the difference between red flags, yellow flags, and green flags in modern dating. Learn why your nervous system might confuse healthy partners for boring ones, how past trauma affects your ability to recognize good partners, and the subtle patterns that show up months into dating - not on date three. This episode reveals why we're quick to label behaviors as red flags when they might actually be signs of a healthy partner, plus actionable strategies for dating with curiosity instead of fear.EPISODE TIMELINE:00:00 - Introduction: The red flag epidemic in dating culture03:15 - Meet Michelle O'Connell: From therapist to dating coach08:42 - Defining red flags, yellow flags, and green flags12:30 - Why we overuse the term "red flag" in dating16:45 - How fear drives our flag labeling21:20 - When green flags feel like red flags: The nervous system connection28:15 - Red flags that don't show up until months later35:40 - How long should you really give someone a chance?38:25 - Avoiding projection from past dating experiences42:10 - Final advice: Dating with curiosity over validationIN THIS EPISODE WE EXPLORE:What actually constitutes a red flag versus normal human behaviorHow our nervous system confuses calm and safety for boredom in datingWhy people with trauma histories might push away healthy partnersThe sneaky patterns that don't show up until months 3-6 of datingHow past experiences shape our ability to "read the room" accuratelyThe difference between empowerment and being too rigid in dating standardsWhy taking things slow is crucial for spotting long-term compatibilityHow to avoid projecting past relationship wounds onto new partnersWhen to give someone more time versus trusting your gut to walk away"If you want a partner, you have to date. And when you date with a space and a mindset of curiosity and being open to all the different outcomes, you're going to have a better experience with dating. Don't date to validate your worth - date from curiosity." - MichelleCONNECT WITH MICHELLE:Michelle O'Connell is a licensed mental health therapist and dating coach based in Minneapolis, Minnesota. With over a decade of experience in trauma therapy, Michelle launched her dating coaching practice "Unstuck by Michelle" four years ago. She supports clients in building confidence, creating authentic dating profiles, identifying healthier partners, and developing mindful, intentional approaches to dating. Michelle brings a unique trauma-informed perspective that's both grounded and refreshingly real to the dating world. Michelle's Instagram: @unstuckbymichelle Michelle's Website*NEW* Michelle's TikTok: @unstuckbymichelleMichelle offers monthly dating support, beginning August 6, 2025. Please visit Michelle's website to find out more!STAY CONNECT WITH MADDEN:Madden's Instagram: @maddenzappa

Transform your dating life through the ancient art of Tantra. In this episode, sex and relationship therapist Julie shares how tantric principles can help you break toxic dating patterns and create deeper, more authentic connections.EPISODE TIMELINE:04:22 - Welcome & Julie's Introduction07:34 - Julie's Unique Journey: From Yoga Pioneer to Sex Therapist13:07 - Working with Gopher Football & The Marsh Wellness Center16:52 - The Energy Healing School That Changed Everything19:42 - What is Tantra Really? (It's Not What You Think)23:07 - The Three Stages of Sexual Relationships26:32 - Energy Field Exercises for Couples30:52 - Push, Pull, Stop & Allow: Modulating Sexual Energy33:37 - Solo Tantric Practices for Singles37:02 - Creating Your Personal Tantric Mantra39:42 - The Lens of Love Self-Practice42:32 - Dating Tantrically: Holding the Paradox49:37 - Modern Dating Trends & Screen Addiction52:42 - Moving from Performance to Presence56:32 - The Four-Dimensional Wheel: Body, Mind, Spirit, Emotion59:52 - Why Ghosting is Energetic Violence63:07 - Final Advice: Honesty & Holding ParadoxIN THIS EPISODE WE EXPLORE:The true meaning of Tantra beyond sexual misconceptionsHow to practice energy awareness with potential partnersPractical tantric exercises you can do solo or with a partnerWhy vulnerability is actually a superpower in datingThe paradox of being open while staying unattachedSolo tantric practices for single peopleHow to move from performance to presence in intimacy"Healthy intimate relationships are your birthright. When people get aligned in their sexuality, when their sexual life force energy is fully activated and connected to their hearts and spirits, they become the most thriving, unstoppable versions of themselves." - JulieCONNECT WITH JULIE:With over 30 years of experience in the healing arts, Julie Schmit began her journey as a yoga instructor and energy healer, helping to pioneer the yoga scene in the Twin Cities in the early 1990s. She is now a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist, and a certified couple’s therapist.Julie specializes in helping individuals and couples strengthen relationships, heal from trauma, reclaim pleasure, and build confidence—so they can experience more joy, passion, and intimacy in their lives. She brings a grounded, trauma-informed approach to her work, integrating somatic practices, energy awareness, and a deep respect for sexual diversity and inclusivity.At the heart of Julie’s philosophy is the belief that being truly seen, understood, and accepted is a powerful catalyst for healing. It’s her privilege to walk alongside her clients on their journey toward greater sexual fulfillment and relational aliveness.JULIE'S WEBSITE STAY CONNECT WITH MADDEN:Madden's Instagram: @maddenzappa

In this raw and intimate conversation, real couple Allison and Anthony share their 7-year journey from a casual Tinder meetup in a Costco parking lot to building a conscious, choice-based relationship. They open up about the difference between falling in love and choosing love daily, how they've navigated living in 5 different states together, and what it really takes to grow individually while building a partnership rooted in friendship and mutual respect.This isn't your typical relationship advice episode - it's an honest look at what happens when two people commit to choosing each other over and over again, even when it's hard. From their unique approach to conflict resolution to their perspective on marriage and external pressures, Allison and Anthony offer practical wisdom for anyone ready to date differently.EPISODE TIMELINE:00:00 - Introduction & Their Tinder Love Story08:15 - Six Months to Moving States Together 12:30 - Falling vs Choosing Love: The Real Difference18:45 - Building Friendship as Your Foundation24:20 - Growing Together Without Growing Apart30:10 - How They Handle Conflict & Communication35:40 - External Pressures: Marriage & Family Opinions41:25 - One Piece of Advice to Date DifferentlyIN THIS EPISODE WE EXPLORE:The difference between falling in love vs choosing to love every single day Building friendship as your relationship foundation (even while dating) How to fight constructively without damaging the relationship Setting non-negotiables vs being flexible in your standards Growing individually while growing together as a couple Why your relationship should be about giving, not getting How to handle external pressures about marriage and timelines"A relationship is not a place where you go to get. It's a place that you go to give." - AnthonyCONNECT WITH ANTHONY AND ALLISON:Allison and Anthony are a real couple who've been together for almost 7 years, having met when Allison was 18 and Anthony was 24. Through their journey across 5 different states, they've built a relationship foundation based on conscious choice, deep friendship, and mutual growth. Anthony brings insights from his Tony Robbins background and entrepreneurial mindset, while Allison shares her perspective on maintaining femininity and authenticity while building partnership.Anthony's Instagram: @anthonyjrigsbyAllison's Instagram: @allisonrosee7STAY CONNECTED WITH MADDEN:Madden's Instagram: @maddenzappa

Have you ever considered that dating could be a form of meditation? In this transformative episode, KC Baker (founder of WomanSpeak and creator of Velvet Flow) shares her groundbreaking approach to conscious dating that will change how you truly think about relationships.EPISODE TIMELINE:00:00 - 02:30 - Introduction & Episode Setup02:30 - 07:15 - Guest Introduction & Background07:15 - 12:45 - KC's Dating Pattern Story12:45 - 18:30 -Dating as Meditation Concept18:30 - 23:00 - Practical Communication & Boundaries23:00 - 28:15 - Vetting for Consciousness & Compatibility28:15 - 34:45 -The Anxiety Breakthrough Moment34:45 - 40:20 - Going Slow vs. Following Impulses40:20 - 45:30 - Rebuilding Self-Trust After Heartbreak45:30 - 50:41 -Three Tangible Self-Love PracticesIN THIS EPISODE WE EXPLORE:Dating as meditation: A revolutionary approach to self-discovery through datingBreaking anxious attachment patterns and choosing peace over anxietyThe art of dating multiple people mindfully and ethicallyHow Qigong and feminine energy practices transform your dating lifePractical tools for developing radical self-trust and boundariesCONNECT WITH KCKC Baker has been a pioneer for the last 16 years in bringing a feminine approach to public speaking & leadership training with her unique embodiment and nervous system rewiring practices. Her company WomanSpeak has speaking circles around the world and teaches women how to cultivate the internal safety and freedom to speak up authentically in their personal & professional lives.Several years ago while running her company and raising her child, and after experiencing betrayal and loss of a significant romantic relationship, she experienced deep fatigue, stress, and health & hormone issues. She discovered Feminine Qi Gong practices and they completely transformed her energy, vitality & stress levels and healed her heart and womb.She has now started Velvet Flow, a practice incorporating sensual movement & Feminine Qi Gong to help women learn to use their sexual energy for creating greater health, deeper serenity & abiding happiness.She has spoken and taught at the United Nations in Switzerland, was an advisor on Authentic Communication for Senator Hillary Clinton's 2016 presidential campaign, and had supported women in speaking on stages like TED, Bioneers, the American Heart Association, Wisdom 2.0, & Emerging Women. She is a mama, a Certified Tantra & Taoist Teacher, a stewardess of sacred land in Sedona Arizona, and a deep lover of nature.Woman SpeakVelvet FlowInstagram: @kc.bakerFacebook: KC BakerSTAY CONNECT WITH MADDEN:Madden's Instagram: @maddenzappa

Dating coach Joe Stroud pulls back the curtain on the male experience in modern dating. From why men seem emotionally checked out to the real dynamics shaping attraction, this conversation explores what happens when both men and women drop the performance and connect from truth. If you've ever wondered why dating feels so disconnected, this episode reveals the patterns keeping us all stuck.EPISODE TIMELINE:00:00-05:00 - Introduction: Why This Episode Might Ruffle Feathers05:00-12:00 - Meet Joe Stroud: From Dating Apps to Real-Life Connection12:00-18:00 - The #1 Pattern: Why Men Are Terrified of Approaching Women18:00-25:00 - Living at Your Edge: Why Most Men Aren't Interesting25:00-32:00 - The Flirting Formula: Masculine Energy Meets Playful Connection32:00-38:00 - Dating Without Masks: The Power of Authentic Self-Expression38:00-45:00 - Chasing vs. Pursuing: Reading the Signs and Body Language45:00-52:00 - The Dating Marketplace: Timelines, Standards, and Reality Checks52:00-58:00 - Adventure More: Joe's Final Advice for Dating DifferentlyIN THIS EPISODE WE EXPLORE:Why technology and biology make men terrified to approach women in real lifeThe difference between chasing (needy) and pursuing (grounded) in datingHow living at your edge creates the stories and confidence that attract connectionThe body language signals that say "approach me" without saying a wordWhy the dating marketplace rewards different qualities at different life stagesThe controversial truth about timelines, standards, and the 80-20 principle in datingHow to build community and create warm connections beyond apps and bars"All we want is to maintain our peace, some level of peace, and to be respected. That's it. That's the whole list. That's the entire list right there." - Joe StroudCONNECT WITH JOE:Joe Stroud is a dating coach who helps men develop grounded masculine presence and connect authentically with women. He specializes in getting guys off dating apps and back into real-life social connection.Joe's Instagram: @_thejoeshow_STAY CONNECTED WITH MADDEN:Madden's Instagram: @maddenzappa

Divorce is the second most painful life experience after losing a loved one - yet men's emotional journey through this grief is rarely discussed. In this raw, honest conversation, divorce coach Addison breaks down the silent struggle that men face after relationship loss and why traditional masculinity makes healing so much harder.EPISODE TIMELINE:00:00 Intro: Why everyone needs to hear this02:30 Meet Addison & his divorce story08:15 The patterns: grief, anger, shame15:20 Why men don't ask for help22:10 Creating space for male vulnerability30:45 The shame spiral that destroys relationships38:20 Little boy energy vs. emotional maturity43:50 Dating differently through clarity & vulnerabilityIN THIS EPISODE WE EXPLORE:The unique grief process men experience during divorce and breakupsWhy shame and self-loathing consume so much emotional space after relationship lossThe difference between taking responsibility vs. drowning in blameHow emotional immaturity shows up as "little boy energy" in relationshipsWhy vulnerability is actually the strongest form of masculinityThe ripple effect of men's healing on families and communitiesPractical ways to create emotional safety for the men in your lifeCONNECT WITH ADDISON:Addison Shock is a former Couples & Individuals Counselor turned Divorce Coach for Men with more than 15 years of experience in human development. Based in Costa Rica and Birmingham, AL, he specializes in helping men navigate divorce-related challenges, including anger, anxiety, shame, relationships, and lack of direction. His goal is to empower clients to develop emotional resilience, healthy relationships, and achieve a grounded, stable life. In his spare time, Addison enjoys surfing, basketball, and fly fishing.Addison's Website: addisonshockcoaching.comAddison's Instagram: @addisonshockcoachingSTAY CONNECTED WITH MADDEN:Madden's Instagram: @maddenzappa

Tired of dating the same type of guys over and over? Your mindset might be the problem. In this episode, we dive deep into how the law of attraction shapes your dating life and explore the 4 toxic beliefs that keep you stuck in negative dating patterns.EPISODE TIMELINE:00:00 - Intro: Why We Keep Dating the Same Guy01:45 - The Law of Attraction SparkNotes: Like Attracts Like03:30 - The Infinity Loop: How to Manifest Without Obsessing06:00 - The Helicopter Parent Analogy: Why Control Kills Manifestation08:15 - The 99% vs 1% Rule: What You Actually Control in Dating10:30 - Belief #1: "There Are No Good Men Left"12:45 - Belief #2: Love Must Happen on a Certain Timeline15:00 - Belief #3: "I'm Better Off Single Than Getting Hurt"17:30 - Belief #4: "If I Take a Break, I'll Miss My Chance"20:00 - Your Energy is Everything: Dating from Excitement vs Frustration22:30 - Challenge: Rewriting Your Limiting BeliefsIN THIS EPISODE WE EXPLORE:How your energy directly attracts (or repels) your ideal partnerThe infinity loop technique for manifesting love without desperation4 subconscious beliefs that sabotage your dating successWhy surrendering control actually makes you more magneticHow to shift from dating with fear to dating with excitement"We spent so much of our time trying to control things that are truly out of our hands: the timeline, the who, the how. When really our only job is to be in alignment and embody the best version of ourselves. 99% of our lives are really up to God, universe, source, whatever it is you believe in. We are only in charge of 1%."- MaddenSTAY CONNECTED WITH MADDEN:Madden's Instagram: @maddenzappa✨If you loved this episode, don't forget to subscribe and leave a review! And remember, we do not gatekeep when it comes to dating smarter so be sure to share it with a friend!

Why do you keep attracting the same type of partner? Why do you get triggered by things that shouldn't logically bother you? Why can you understand your patterns cognitively but still repeat them?In this deeply transformative conversation, trauma-informed coach Jakob reveals why your body holds the answers that your mind can't access. This isn't just another therapy approach - it's a complete paradigm shift in how we heal relationship patterns.EPISODE TIMELINE:00:00 - Why we repeat the same relationship patterns12:20 - What somatic healing actually is (and why it works faster than therapy)22:15 - The difference between earning love vs. receiving love31:45 - How to take responsibility without playing victim39:30 - 3 ways to start somatic healing at home46:20 - What's possible when you heal your nervous systemIN THIS EPISODE WE EXPLORE:Your body holds trauma that talk therapy can't reachTaking responsibility = freedom (not blame)Love addiction keeps you dating the same patternsSomatic healing helps you respond vs. react in relationships"Most of us weren't loved for being - we were loved for doing, for performing, for pleasing. So in our nervous system, it gets ingrained that if I'm a good boy, if I'm a good girl, then I get love. Then we pick partners that trigger that same performative dance."- Jakob GricarCONNECT WITH JAKOB:Jakob Gricar is a trauma-informed transformational coach who blends more than a decade of mastery in somatic work, internal family systems, ontological coaching, NLP, CBT, breathwork, polyvagal theory, and indigenous ceremony to catalyze profound inner change. From high-impact entrepreneurs navigating million-dollar decisions to purpose-driven creatives taking their very first steps in business, he guides clients to  create a capacity in their nervous systems to handle all of life, dismantle limiting identities, and remember the unshakable truth beneath the noise. Jakob’s sessions are an alchemy of precise nervous-system science as taught to him directly by pioneers in somatics, mix of modalities from CBT, IFS, NLP and more to fierce ontological accountability.His own journey began at 13, when healing a chronic illness through relentless spiritual disciplines proved that the body can be a doorway to the miraculous. That spark ignited years of radical exploration: seasons of homelessness that forged unfiltered humility; near-death initiations that clarified what truly matters; yogic study in India’s ashrams; and deep plant-medicine studies with Shipibo, Mestizo, Yawanawa and Huni Kuin medicine keepers in the Amazon rainforest. Along the way, he built a retreat center in Guatemala and co-created a conscious community and event space in Mexico, while learning from Judith Johnso, a 83 year old pioneer in somatic work. Today Jakob collaborates with world-renowned coaches, and facilitates in their online and in person containers, mentors other business leaders, and guides deep in-person experiences through Vortex Retreats and co-runs a high-touch online coaching program for women. https://jakobgricar.com/ 

This powerful episode with Dr. Linnea Swanson, MFT and brain spotting trainer, explores how trauma becomes encoded in our nervous system and unconsciously guides our relationship choices. Learn why that "spark" might actually be a warning sign, how generational trauma impacts dating patterns, and practical strategies to rewire your brain for healthier relationships. Essential listening for anyone wondering why they keep attracting the same type of partner despite wanting something different.EPISODE TIMELINE00:00 - Introduction to Dr. Linnea and her work04:36 - Understanding trauma and its impact on relationships09:12 - How the limbic system affects dating choices14:47 - The unconscious pull toward familiar relationship dynamics19:42 - Generational trauma and its hidden influence24:30 - Why the "spark" might signal danger, not compatibility28:15 - Breaking trauma patterns and dating differently32:08 - Final advice for healthier relationship choicesIN THIS EPISODE WE EXPLOREHow trauma gets encoded in your brain and body, creating unconscious relationship patternsWhy perpetrators and victims continue to find each other, even in a room of 100 peopleThe truth about "chemistry" and why that initial spark might be your trauma recognizing something familiarPractical strategies to slow down, balance emotions with logic, and build relationships that grow rather than ignite"Trauma, essentially, the core of it is that it's an experience that a person has that completely overwhelms their system. And our brain's number one job is to keep us alive. So what happens during a traumatic experience is that there's some threat to the person. Maybe it's not actually to their life, but maybe it's some deep emotional threat, some deep psychological threat, right? And so the brain has to mobilize and go into what I think a lot of people are often familiar with, either fleeing the situation, fighting, or freezing"- Dr. Linnea SwansonCONNECT WITH DR. LINNEA SWANSONLinnea Swanson, Psy.D., M.A., LMFT (she/her/hers) is a Brainspotting Trainer and owner of Twinflower Psychological Services, LLC, located on the ancestral land of the Dakhóta people, now known as Minneapolis, MN. Dr. Swanson has been a therapist for over 20 years having worked in school, county, and private practice settings. She recently ended her 17 year teaching career as a professor in several different MFT graduate programs. She is currently in private practice and leads Brainspotting trainings in the U.S. and South Korea. Dr. Swanson’s clinical practice is focused on working with individuals, couples and families. Dr. Swanson has a particular interest in working with adult transracial, transnational adoptees, interracial couples and couples in CNM relationships.More about Dr. Linnea Swanson and her private practice website: Twinflowerpsych.comSTAY CONNECT WITH MADDENMadden's Instagram: @maddenzappa✨If you loved this episode, don't forget to subscribe and leave a review! And remember, we do not gatekeep when it comes to dating smarter so be sure to share it with a friend!

Madden is joined by Kelly Chase who was on Season 1 of Love Is Blind. While her dating life played out in front of the world, what most people don’t realize is the massive transformation and evolution Kelly has gone through since the show aired.She’s built her own brand as a business and mindset coach, podcast host, and influencer— helping people find love, success, and money in a whole new way.In this conversation, Kelly gets real honest about her journey — from dating on reality TV to dealing with “silly boys” and figuring out what it actually looks like to choose differently. Kelly shares how Love Is Blind brought a whole new awareness to her dating patterns — and how that turned into massive shifts in how she shows up now.We also get into the sneaky patterns so many women repeat without even realizing it, and Kelly calls out some real truths about the lies we’ve been fed about love. There’s spice, there’s honesty, and there are definitely some truth bombs dropped along the way. TIMELINE00:00 : Introduction to Kelly Chase from Love is Blind Season 103:10 : Kelly shares her experience dating in the unique Love is Blind environment08:45 : Discussion on vulnerability in dating and asking important questions early13:20 : Lessons learned from having a public love life on reality TV17:30 : Kelly's recurring dating patterns: people-pleasing and self-abandonment21:15 : Taking responsibility and breaking unhealthy relationship cycles24:30 : Can men and women be platonic friends? Kelly's perspective28:45 : Kelly's journey into coaching and empowerment work37:10 : The sneakiest pattern women get stuck in: falling for potential, not reality42:30 : The biggest lies women believe about dating47:50 : Finding fulfillment and breaking free from timelines51:15 : What Kelly would tell her younger self52:20 : Final advice on how to date differentlyCONNECT WITH KELLY:Kelly Chase is a business and mindset coach, podcast host, and influencer known for her appearance on Season 1 of Netflix's "Love is Blind." After the show, she underwent significant personal transformation, shifting from health coaching to business coaching. Kelly has built her brand helping people find love, success, and financial abundance while working through her own dating patterns and limiting beliefs.Kelly's Instagram: @chaselifewithkellyChase Life with Kelly Podcast: @chaselifewithkellypodcastKelly's Website: https://www.chaselifewithkelly.com/CONNECT WITH MADDEN:Madden's Instagram: @maddenzappa

In this powerful solo episode, host Madden Zappa explores the complex emotions of being single, particularly in the aftermath of a breakup. She shares her personal journey of loving solitude while simultaneously experiencing post-breakup loneliness, highlighting the sometimes contradictory nature of singlehood.Madden challenges society's view that singlehood is merely a waiting period or a problem to be solved, especially as we age. Instead, she reframes it as a purposeful opportunity to create an aligned and fulfilling life. The episode provides three actionable mindset shifts: identifying the true root of loneliness, reframing being alone as an opportunity, and creating an exciting life without waiting for a partner.The core message emphasizes that when you build a life you're obsessed with while single, it transforms your approach to dating - you stop looking for someone to complete you and start choosing partners who enhance your already amazing life.EPISODE TIMELINE:00:00 - Introduction: The two sides of dating - relationship vs. singlehood02:30 - The complexity of being single: empowerment vs. loneliness04:15 - Madden's personal experience with loving singlehood06:50 - Navigating post-breakup loneliness09:30 - Misconceptions about being single as we age11:45 - Differentiating between being lonely and being uncomfortable alone13:20 - Shift #1: Identifying the root of your loneliness15:10 - Shift #2: Reframing being alone as an opportunity16:35 - Shift #3: Creating a life that excites you right now18:40 - Final thoughts on empowered singlehoodIN THIS EPISODE WE EXPLORE:Framework for three mindset shifts to transform loneliness into empowermentPerspective on society's misconceptions about singlehoodGuidance on creating a fulfilling life while single"Being single is not a waiting period. It is not something that needs to be fixed. It's honestly a season of life that I think a lot more of us need to embrace. It's actually a beautiful opportunity to build a life that is so full and so rich and so deeply aligned with you that when the right person eventually comes along, they're simply adding to an already incredibly present life."- Madden ZappaMORE ABOUT YOUR HOST:Madden Zappa is the authentic and insightful host of "We're Dating the Same Guy" podcast, which uncovers repetitive dating patterns and provides actionable guidance on breaking them. With knowledge in attachment styles, feminine/masculine energy dynamics, and relationship psychology, Madden combines personal vulnerability with strategic wisdom. Her conversational, warm approach creates an intimate listening experience as she shares her own dating experiences alongside expert advice. Madden's mission centers on empowering listeners to "Date Differently" - moving beyond autopilot behaviors to create intentional, fulfilling relationships that start with a strong connection to self. Through each episode, she equips her audience with the tools and mindset shifts needed to break cycles and transform their approach to love.Madden's Instagram: @maddenzappa✨ If you loved this episode, don't forget to subscribe and leave a review! And remember, we do not gatekeep when it comes to dating smarter so be sure to share it with a friend!

This episode explores the powerful and often misunderstood art of receiving. Receiving isn't passive but an active, intentional energy that can transform not just your dating life but every area of your existence. EPISODE TIMELINE:00:00 - Introduction and welcome01:23 - Introducing Erin Nicole Porter and her expertise03:48 - Defining the concept of receiving and self-abandonment08:33 - How to start receiving from yourself11:15 - Continuing self-to-self receiving even in relationships12:05 - How we unintentionally block ourselves from receiving16:00 - Receiving without feeling the need to reciprocate18:45 - Expanding your capacity to receive over time20:25 - Allowing good things to come to us22:15 - Differentiating between breadcrumbs and healthy pacing26:05 - Somatic practices to connect with your body28:52 - Distinguishing between mind anxiety and body intuitionIN THIS EPISODE WE EXPLORE:The four levels of receiving: self to self, self to other, self to group, and self to sourceHow self-abandonment and control patterns block our ability to receive loveWhy meeting your own needs first creates the foundation for receiving from othersHow to expand your capacity to hold more goodness in your lifeSomatic practices to help you tune into your body's wisdom"Receiving isn't passive. It's a powerful, intentional, active energy. It's about opening, softening, and trusting. And it's one of the biggest shifts you can make if you want to experience deeper connection, intimacy, and self-worth."- Erin Nicole PorterCONNECT WITH ERIN:Erin Nicole Porter is a business coach, somatic guide, subconscious reprogramming expert, and the founder of the Quantum Ripple Effect. Her work focuses on helping women expand their capacity to hold more love and abundance without burnout, forcing, or overgiving. Erin specializes in somatic-based coaching, understanding energy, trauma, and what's stored in the body. Through her own journey of healing from burnout, adrenal fatigue, and repetitive relationship patterns, she discovered how receiving plays a crucial role in what we attract in business, relationships, and life.Erin's Instagram: @erinnicolecoachingErin's Website: www.erinnicolecoaching.comLearn more about the Quantum Ripple EffectSTAY CONNECTED WITH MADDEN:Madden's Instagram: @maddenzappa✨If you loved this episode, don't forget to subscribe and leave a review! And remember, we do not gatekeep when it comes to dating smarter so be sure to share it with a friend!

This episode is an invitation to think outside of normative relationships and even potentially lead you to question what we've been taught about love, commitment, connection, and relationshipsPolyamory and kink are often misunderstood or even stigmatized, but here’s the truth: the more we understand the spectrum of human desire, the more permission we give ourselves to date — and love — more authentically.EPISODE TIMELINE00:45 - Intro & expanding relationship perspectives03:30 - Eric's background as a relationship therapist05:20 - Demystifying kink and non-monogamy08:45 - Defining consensual non-monogamy11:30 - Understanding kink beyond stigma14:15 - Developing self-agency in relationships18:40 - Primary vs reactive emotions24:30 - Communication pitfalls and solutions29:15 - Navigating jealousy and insecurity36:20 - Steps for exploring non-monogamy42:00 - When partners disagree about non-monogamy47:30 - Exploring kink safely54:00 - Final advice: Interrogate your desiresIN THIS EPISODE WE EXPLOREHow to develop self-agency in relationships - the key to all relationship successThe crucial difference between primary and reactive emotions that transforms communicationWhy "interrogating yourself" is essential before exploring non-monogamy or kinkHow jealousy can become a pathway to growth rather than relationship destruction Essential resources for safe exploration of alternative relationship dynamicsRESOURCES MENTIONED:Hold Me Tight by Dr. Sue JohnsonPolysecure by Jessica FernThe Ethical Slut by Janet HardyCome As You Are by Emily NagoskiBad Sex by Nona Willis Aronowitz"It's through this self-interrogation that we learn about ourselves and then we can communicate that to others and then we suddenly are living a more satisfying life. I love this topic, again, not because I feel like the way of the future is kink or the way of the future is non-monogamy or polyamory, but because it is crucial in all of our lives, I believe, that we look into things that society might have said, no, don't look in this box or don't look in this box."- Eric FawcettCONNECT WITH ERICEric Fawcett is a licensed Marriage & Family Therapist specializing in helping intimate partnerships effectively navigate concerns ranging from communication, to sexuality, to trust ruptures, and beyond. Before pursuing his MFT degree, Fawcett spent three decades as a recording artist, as a creative entrepreneur, and as a published writer and speaker addressing the relational joys and challenges of the collaborative process.Fawcett has long believed that the training that relational therapists receive prepares them to work with people-systems far beyond couples and families. In his private practice — Attune Relational Wellness — Eric also works with organizations seeking to increase trust and cohesion among its members. Eric is an enthusiastically affirmative LGBTQIA+ and BIPOC ally and advocate, and welcomes clients regardless of faith tradition or socio-political viewpoint.More about Eric at his private practice website: www.attunerelational.comSTAY CONNECTED WITH MADDEN:Madden's Instagram: ⁠@maddenzappa⁠✨If you loved this episode, don't forget to subscribe and leave a review! And remember, we do not gatekeep when it comes to dating smarter so be sure to share it with a friend!

What truly is the difference between anxious masculine energy and grounded masculine energy? And how do they both appear in relationships while dating:Madden sits down with Jen Briggs to explore the crucial differences between anxious and grounded masculine energy in dating. One type feels magnetic, intense, and immediate, while the other feels steady, intentional, and secure. They discuss how to spot the difference between these energies, what your attraction to each reveals about your own patterns, and practical ways to attract more grounded masculine energy into your dating life. From recognizing love bombing to trusting your body's wisdom, this episode offers eye-opening insights to help you date differently.EPISODE TIMELINE00:00 - Welcome and introduction to the topic of masculine energy03:42 - Introduction to guest Jen Briggs and her dating journey07:15 - Defining masculine vs. feminine energ11:30 - Why women often attract anxious masculine energy15:45 - Signs of love bombing vs. genuine interest21:10 - The importance of patience and clear communication25:30 - Trusting your body's signals and nervous system31:20 - How to attract grounded masculine energy35:40 - The power of vulnerability and being present38:25 - Final advice for breaking dating patternsIN THIS EPISODE YOU'LL LEARNThe fundamental differences between anxious and grounded masculine energyHow to recognize when someone is love bombing versus genuinely interestedWhy your body often knows about red flags before your mind catches upHow being present and patient can help attract healthier relationshipsThe importance of trusting your intuition even when your mind wants to rationalizeWhy vulnerability and taking down walls is essential for finding authentic connectionPractical ways to recalibrate your nervous system for healthier dating experiences"I don't need you because I'm whole, but I want you. That is very different than needing someone from a place of lack. A grounded masculine is going to be repelled by a woman who is coming from a place of 'I need this right now' versus 'I'm in my desire right now.'"- Jen BriggsCONNECT WITH JENJen Briggs is a podcast host, real estate powerhouse, and a woman who believes in bringing your whole self to both business and love. On her podcast, The Whole Shebang, Jen holds real, unfiltered, and sometimes juicy conversations that help people reconnect with their authentic truth. After getting divorced six years ago at age 43, Jen has navigated the modern dating world as a single mother, exploring patterns in relationships and doing the inner work to attract healthier connections. Her personal journey of balancing masculine and feminine energies informs her insightful perspective on dating and relationships.The Whole Shebang PodcastReal Estate Done Right(ish) PodcastJen's Website: jenniferbriggs.comJen's Instagram: @jennifer.e.briggsSTAY CONNECTED WITH MADDEN:Madden's Instagram: @maddenzappa✨If you loved this episode, don't forget to subscribe and leave a review! And remember, we do not gatekeep when it comes to dating smarter so be sure to share it with a friend!

What happens when ambitious, driven, independent women meet modern dating culture?In this episode Madden sits down with Caprisha, a breakthrough advisor for purpose-driven women, to discuss the unique challenges high-achieving women face in dating and relationships. They explore what it really looks like to soften without shrinking, to receive without lowering your standards, and how powerful, independent women can rewrite the rules of love and partnership.EPISODE TIMELINE00:00 - Introduction and Madden's personal story03:54 - Current statistics on women's success and independence05:32 - Introduction to Caprisha and her work06:57 - How high achievement impacts dating08:55 - The misconception about complementary partners12:37 - The art of softening without shrinking14:42 - Balancing masculine and feminine energy16:35 - The surrender process that attracts the right partner19:20 - Balancing success and relationship21:08 - Practical steps to find your playful sideIN THIS EPISODE YOU'LL LEARNThe misconception about what type of partner truly complements a successful womanHow to shift from a checklist mentality to seeing the human behind potential partnersPractical ways to soften your approach to dating without compromising your successThe spiritual surrender process that magnetizes the right partnerWhy playfulness and "allowing yourself to suck" at things might be your most attractive qualityHow to balance professional achievements with relationship presence"Your biggest asset is your warmth, your softness, your fun, your playfulness. Those are the high-level skills in your relationship, not your doing and how much you're achieving." - CaprishaCONNECT WITH CAPRISHACaprisha is a Breakthrough Advisor for purpose-driven women, guiding them to their leaned-back, prosperous Queen path. As the visionary voice behind Royal Remembrance, she shares her dynamic wisdom through eclectic courses, transformative programs, and intimate 1:1 experiences, helping women reclaim their feminine embodiment in business, life, and relationships. Blending ancient womb healing practices with practical strategy. Caprisha empowers women to refine their power and create embodied, timeless, and rich movements both online and in real life. She is the vibrant host of the Royal Remembrance Podcast, and her magnetic presence extends to her YouTube channel, Caprisha Richards, captivating an international audience of over 200,000 followers and supporters. With her grounding energy and effortless magnetism, Caprisha's insights have touched the hearts and minds of thousands worldwide.Caprisha's Instagram: @caprivanaaRoyal Remembrance PodcastRESOURCES USED FOR THIS EPISODE:Women Outpacing Men in CollegePew Research Center: Young women earn more than men in several U.S. citiesBrookings Institute: The male college crisisSTAY CONNECTED WITH MADDEN:Madden's Instagram: @maddenzappa✨ If you loved this episode, don’t forget to subscribe and leave a review! And remember, we do not gatekeep when it comes to dating smarter so be sure to share it with a friend!

If you’re tired of dating on repeat and wondering why you keep attracting the same type of partners, this episode is for you! Attachment styles play a major role in how we show up in relationships—how we connect, how we handle conflict, and even why we push people away (or cling too tightly).Today, I’m joined by Tori McCabe, LMFT, a licensed marriage and family therapist specializing in attachment and relational trauma. Together, we’re unpacking how your attachment style shapes your dating life and, most importantly, how you can start moving toward more secure, fulfilling relationships.IN THIS EPISODE, WE DISCUSS:🩷 The four attachment styles—secure, anxious, avoidant, and disorganized—and how they play out in dating🩷 Why we’re drawn to certain partners (and why it often leads to heartbreak)🩷 How to stop repeating toxic relationship patterns🩷Practical steps to move toward secure attachment, even if you’ve been anxiously or avoidantly attached for years🩷 How to identify a partner who is emotionally available and aligned with what you need🩷Can your attachment style change over time? (Spoiler: Yes!)RESOURCES MENTIONED: The Power of Attachment by Diane Poole HellerCONNECT WITH TORIYou can connect with Tori's Practice HERE 📧 [email protected] CONNECTED WITH MADDENMy instagram: @maddenzappa ✨ If you loved this episode, don’t forget to subscribe and leave a review! And remember, we do not gatekeep when it comes to dating smarter so be sure to share it with a friend!

Ever been ghosted? Left in the dark with no explanation? Waiting for answers that never come? You’re not alone. In this episode of We’re Dating the Same Guy, we’re diving deep into the painful reality of not getting closure—and how to move forward anyway.💔 Why we crave closure and whether it actually helps us heal💡 The hard truth: Why some people will NEVER give you the answers you want🛑 How waiting for closure keeps you stuck in the past✨ The mindset shifts that help you create your own closure and move on for goodMadden shares her personal story of a relationship that ended with zero explanation, how she spent weeks obsessing over "what went wrong," and the game-changing realization that finally set her free. If you’re struggling to let go of someone who won’t give you the clarity you need, this episode will give you the tools to stop waiting—and start healing.FAVORITE TAKEAWAYS:✨ "What is meant for me will not pass me."✨ If they won’t choose you, you have to choose you.✨ Closure isn’t about getting answers—it’s about making peace with what you already know.STAY CONNECTED WITH MADDEN:Madden's Instagram: @maddenzappa ✨ If you loved this episode, don’t forget to subscribe and leave a review! And remember, we do not gatekeep when it comes to dating smarter so be sure to share it with a friend!

Welcome to the very first episode of We’re Dating the Same Guy—the podcast that dives deep into what’s really driving your love life. If you've ever wondered why you keep attracting the same type of men, facing the same relationship frustrations, and repeating the same cycles—this is the podcast for you.WHAT TO EXPECT IN EPISODE 1:🩷My personal wake-up call that made me realize I was dating the same guy over and over again🩷The two biggest patterns I kept falling into (and maybe you’ll be able to relate) 🩷The psychology behind why we repeat dating cycles 🩷Most importantly, how to finally break free and start dating differentlyIt’s time to recognize the patterns, take back your power, and create the love life you actually want.STAY CONNECTED WITH MADDEN:My instagram: @maddenzappa ✨ If you loved this episode, don’t forget to subscribe and leave a review! And remember, we do not gatekeep when it comes to dating smarter so be sure to share it with a friend!

Welcome to We’re Dating the Same Guy—the podcast that dives deep into what’s really driving your love life. If you've ever wondered why you keep dating the same guy... over... and over... and over again... then this is for you.We begin APRIL 1.Hit FOLLOW so you don’t miss our very first episodes. It’s time to date differently.Stay connected with our host, Madden Zappa